(no subject)
Spring Break couldn't be coming at a better time.
Everything that was going so well and making me so happy is falling to pieces. Seriously...EVERYTHING. I can't think of one thing right now that seems "sure-fire" and steady. Nothing to me, right now, seems "ok."
My world is so shaky right now, and I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting. I'm putting on a smile for everyone though. But when I get by myself, I shut off. I hate it, too. It's that feeling where you're all sad and head-down-ish, and then you see someone in the hallway and immediately perk up to say hi and act normal, even though you know you're putting on a show, and then as soon as they pass, you're back to your depressed little self. And every time it happens, I want to shoot myself in the foot for being like that.
I need a fucking break. That's all. And I need everything to work itself out for when I come back.
I should have known this all was coming though. It's all my fault, but I don't have the time, energy, or desire to fix any of it. I just want to give up. And I kind of already have. In a sense.
Never mind me. If you don't know, you probably never will. So never mind.
Everything that was going so well and making me so happy is falling to pieces. Seriously...EVERYTHING. I can't think of one thing right now that seems "sure-fire" and steady. Nothing to me, right now, seems "ok."
My world is so shaky right now, and I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting. I'm putting on a smile for everyone though. But when I get by myself, I shut off. I hate it, too. It's that feeling where you're all sad and head-down-ish, and then you see someone in the hallway and immediately perk up to say hi and act normal, even though you know you're putting on a show, and then as soon as they pass, you're back to your depressed little self. And every time it happens, I want to shoot myself in the foot for being like that.
I need a fucking break. That's all. And I need everything to work itself out for when I come back.
I should have known this all was coming though. It's all my fault, but I don't have the time, energy, or desire to fix any of it. I just want to give up. And I kind of already have. In a sense.
Never mind me. If you don't know, you probably never will. So never mind.