Fail
Well this is probably gonna sound emo. But it's like, 7 in the morning so I don't think I can avoid it.
A few weeks ago I had a series of nights where I kept considering suicide. It was weird, like I didn't care what happened to my body, I just wanted the pain to stop, and to stop making pain for others. Sometimes I still feel trapped, like there is no way out spiritually because I keep digging myself more and more into a nice, fat hole.
I don't know why I suck at this. Why I cannot seem to be able to be a good friend. I keep getting mixed signs, like one time maybe someone tolerates me and the next it's like they're trying not to acknowledge that I exist. I wish if there was a problem that it'd just come out so I could stop pretending that maybe it's all in my head and that everything is alright.
I feel like such a fail right now. And now my dad has to drive all the way over here because of my stupidity. It felt like almost everything I did over the break was wrong in some way or another. How did I become such a dumbass?
A few weeks ago I had a series of nights where I kept considering suicide. It was weird, like I didn't care what happened to my body, I just wanted the pain to stop, and to stop making pain for others. Sometimes I still feel trapped, like there is no way out spiritually because I keep digging myself more and more into a nice, fat hole.
I don't know why I suck at this. Why I cannot seem to be able to be a good friend. I keep getting mixed signs, like one time maybe someone tolerates me and the next it's like they're trying not to acknowledge that I exist. I wish if there was a problem that it'd just come out so I could stop pretending that maybe it's all in my head and that everything is alright.
I feel like such a fail right now. And now my dad has to drive all the way over here because of my stupidity. It felt like almost everything I did over the break was wrong in some way or another. How did I become such a dumbass?