i never thought i would have to live up to someone else.....
today has been good. wish it was going better. finally got michelle's hard drive fixed and have to put her computer back together. my friend ross is the best.
i have had a great time with mindy the past few days. all we have done is lounged around and cuddled. its all good there. when she talks to me and asks me to do something i cant do or doubt myself on, she keeps bringing up her ex patrick. i already dontlike the guy but she doesnt have to do that shit. last night she came over after guard to ask me if i could do someo audio edting for her for guard. i was like im not sure if i can or not because i didnt know if i could. she said "thats fine, i will just have patrick do it." i dont even think she seen the look i gave her. "patrick did it for us last year." i was sitting there thinking how much i hated patrick right then. i try to leave them 2 alone because i know they are still friends. im not going to be like "no, im choosing your friends." Thats not my place but she knows i dont like and she continues to tell me this shit that he is good at and then somehow compare it to me. i dont even know if she realizes she is doing it. i dont even like seeing him talk to her. i hate him. i dont think she knows how much she hurts me sometimeds. something is wrong, she wont tell me a damn thing. she just sits there. i try to change the subject to something better for a better mood and she gives me maybe a sentence then disreguards i say anything. she once told me that when somethings wrong she likes to talk about it. when something was wrong she said "i will just talk to someone else about it. it hurt so much to be told that. so there i am again. sitting there pretty much told that she doesnt want to talk to me. it makes me feel like i just want to die. so i just sit there quietly and dont say shit. i just pissed myself off so im out.
i have had a great time with mindy the past few days. all we have done is lounged around and cuddled. its all good there. when she talks to me and asks me to do something i cant do or doubt myself on, she keeps bringing up her ex patrick. i already dontlike the guy but she doesnt have to do that shit. last night she came over after guard to ask me if i could do someo audio edting for her for guard. i was like im not sure if i can or not because i didnt know if i could. she said "thats fine, i will just have patrick do it." i dont even think she seen the look i gave her. "patrick did it for us last year." i was sitting there thinking how much i hated patrick right then. i try to leave them 2 alone because i know they are still friends. im not going to be like "no, im choosing your friends." Thats not my place but she knows i dont like and she continues to tell me this shit that he is good at and then somehow compare it to me. i dont even know if she realizes she is doing it. i dont even like seeing him talk to her. i hate him. i dont think she knows how much she hurts me sometimeds. something is wrong, she wont tell me a damn thing. she just sits there. i try to change the subject to something better for a better mood and she gives me maybe a sentence then disreguards i say anything. she once told me that when somethings wrong she likes to talk about it. when something was wrong she said "i will just talk to someone else about it. it hurt so much to be told that. so there i am again. sitting there pretty much told that she doesnt want to talk to me. it makes me feel like i just want to die. so i just sit there quietly and dont say shit. i just pissed myself off so im out.