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at least hilda works mondays. and at least mondays are slow
sleeping in until 2:30 in the afternoon pisses me off. so i woke up all shitty yesterday afternoon. i talked to a friend of mine about all kinds of things. but he couldnt get the girl he just broke up with off his mind. we have alot in common. when we like someone, we are absolutely crazy about them. and it hurts to see them leave, but we want the best for them if its not us. one thing that he had said was about how when he was upset with her, he wanted to be around her more. thats how i am as well. but really, most people dont want anything to do with the person they are upset with and occupy themselves with other things and people. im not that way with everyone. actually i dont think ive ever been that way with anyone but my lover scott. it makes me sad when he's upset with me though. i get upset, which makes him upset, and distant. and i wait for him to come closer but he doesnt. and then i get more upset. and the reason i want to be around him so much when im upset, especially if its because of him, is because i know that being with him will calm me down. it would remind me how much i love him and all the good things he does to get whatever im upset about out of my head and have fun with him.
i recently stayed the night with hiim at his friends house. i was already upset with him when we went the night. and i wanted to have fun with him so bad all night but he didnt pay so much attention to me. it was a lot of things i was holding in for awhile. and i wanted to spend the night with him alone. i like his friends and everything but i was mad because i didnt expect to hang out with them too that night. anyway, in the morning i just dropped it because i was so happy that i slept next to him all night. and we were laughing all morning and afternoon at eachother. one of his friends walked in the room and made a comment that was something like this: "i could see you guys getting married" and he asked around the room and everyone agreed. he said its because we're always laughing when we're together. that comment made me light up inside and realize how great we were together. it was reassuring that people notice.
i just wish that when we were alone, people wouldnt call and take my time with him from me. his phone always rings. well, he has it on vibrate but the point is, even when we are alone, we arent.
lately ive been frustrated with the fact that people have a problem with my personality. ive always thought of myself as a mature person. i really am. i just have a playful personality. my mother said something one day that made me think maybe i was wrong and i really am immiture. and its frustrated me because i didnt know how to act anymore. when i am quiet and serious i feel angry. and people always ask whats wrong and think im no fun. last night, talking to scott reassured me. sure i am immiture sometimes. but when he said that he meant that in how i get upset and act so at silly things. stupid things really. and that he really likes my playful personality.
i wont see him before work today, but thats ok because ill see him after.
i love him so so so so so much. im so excited when i see him. and when i think of us.
welp, id love to write more. i want my rum back. but i have to go brush my teeth, put on my socks, shoes and tie, tie up my little apron and go serve some old people.
preferences
playback
crossfade playback- 9 seconds
sound enhancer- high
at least hilda works mondays. and at least mondays are slow
sleeping in until 2:30 in the afternoon pisses me off. so i woke up all shitty yesterday afternoon. i talked to a friend of mine about all kinds of things. but he couldnt get the girl he just broke up with off his mind. we have alot in common. when we like someone, we are absolutely crazy about them. and it hurts to see them leave, but we want the best for them if its not us. one thing that he had said was about how when he was upset with her, he wanted to be around her more. thats how i am as well. but really, most people dont want anything to do with the person they are upset with and occupy themselves with other things and people. im not that way with everyone. actually i dont think ive ever been that way with anyone but my lover scott. it makes me sad when he's upset with me though. i get upset, which makes him upset, and distant. and i wait for him to come closer but he doesnt. and then i get more upset. and the reason i want to be around him so much when im upset, especially if its because of him, is because i know that being with him will calm me down. it would remind me how much i love him and all the good things he does to get whatever im upset about out of my head and have fun with him.
i recently stayed the night with hiim at his friends house. i was already upset with him when we went the night. and i wanted to have fun with him so bad all night but he didnt pay so much attention to me. it was a lot of things i was holding in for awhile. and i wanted to spend the night with him alone. i like his friends and everything but i was mad because i didnt expect to hang out with them too that night. anyway, in the morning i just dropped it because i was so happy that i slept next to him all night. and we were laughing all morning and afternoon at eachother. one of his friends walked in the room and made a comment that was something like this: "i could see you guys getting married" and he asked around the room and everyone agreed. he said its because we're always laughing when we're together. that comment made me light up inside and realize how great we were together. it was reassuring that people notice.
i just wish that when we were alone, people wouldnt call and take my time with him from me. his phone always rings. well, he has it on vibrate but the point is, even when we are alone, we arent.
lately ive been frustrated with the fact that people have a problem with my personality. ive always thought of myself as a mature person. i really am. i just have a playful personality. my mother said something one day that made me think maybe i was wrong and i really am immiture. and its frustrated me because i didnt know how to act anymore. when i am quiet and serious i feel angry. and people always ask whats wrong and think im no fun. last night, talking to scott reassured me. sure i am immiture sometimes. but when he said that he meant that in how i get upset and act so at silly things. stupid things really. and that he really likes my playful personality.
i wont see him before work today, but thats ok because ill see him after.
i love him so so so so so much. im so excited when i see him. and when i think of us.
welp, id love to write more. i want my rum back. but i have to go brush my teeth, put on my socks, shoes and tie, tie up my little apron and go serve some old people.