FIC: To Be Vulnerable Is Divine (NC-17)
Title: To Be Vulnerable Is Divine
Type: Fic
Prompter: rayvyn2k
Creator: brenamarie
Beta(s): debjunk and Amortentia in my Veins
Rating: NC-17
(Highlight to View) Warning(s): Explicit sexual content.
(Highlight to View) Prompt: The proposal. Also leading to smut.
Note: Thank you so much, rayvyn2k, for this inspiring prompt!
Summary: Hermione and Severus have a comfortable arrangement. What happens when one of them decides that the status quo is no longer enough?
He watched her exit the back of the ballroom out onto the balcony. Even from across the crowded room he knew something had sparked her ire. He knew the determination of her steps-the pure single-mindedness of her focus to simply exit; something or someone had set her off.
The Ministry Christmas Gala was in full swing, and his presence was once again necessary, not voluntary. As the head of the Ministry's Research & Development department, certain formalities were required regardless of how much he loathed this particular aspect of the position.
He put his drink down on a nearby table and gradually made his way around the perimeter of the very large room full of drunken ministry workers and their dates.
Some things never change.
Like a predator stalking its prey, he passed through a fairly large crush of partiers. With practiced ease he cast a Disillusionment charm on himself, disappearing within the crowd, and slipped out the same door she had used for her escape.
She clutched her travelling cloak as the winter wind caught her hair and blew it from her face. He was relieved to see that she hadn't been crying. Here she was, after a hasty retreat from the festivities inside, just simply staring out across the London skyline…
Even though they were the only occupants of the balcony, he wished to keep this meeting as private as possible. After casting a nonverbal Muffliato he approached her.
"Can I help you, Director Snape?"
He stopped dead in his tracks; shocked that she not only knew he was there, but that it was him specifically. He examined his person to ensure that his disillusionment charm hadn't failed for some reason.
Impressed with her awareness of him, he replied, "Yes, Director Granger, I do believe you can. You may begin by sharing with me the reason why you are currently out here and not enjoying the party?"
"Only if you state your own first," she replied saucily.
"Your previous flirtations have not gone unnoticed… I am curious as to how truly interested you are."
She smiled and tilted her head slightly, trying to gauge just how far away from her he stood. She had been doing her best to covertly flirt with the man for months. Apparently, he finally came around to what she was about, and here he was.
"You should know me well enough by now to understand that I don't play games. Conversely, I know you well enough to understand that I couldn't simply proposition you without you believing there to be some ulterior motive."
"Touché."
Then she felt his invisible arms encircle her waist. The strength-the comfort of sharing this moment with the object of her desires began to warm her from the inside. She leaned back into his embrace and shared all of the thoughts that had prompted her hasty retreat from the raucous party going on inside.
"It's exhausting, Severus. Coming to these functions single, the crush of the press, attempting to maintain the appropriate level of decorum due to my title and yet try to have a good time, but not too good of a good time… Everyone wants something from me… but what about what I want?"
She resumed staring out across the skyline.
"Would it be terribly cliché of me to suggest that I could show you a good time?"
"Why Director Snape, I thought you would never ask."
In an instant she turned in his arms, put her own arm around his waist and kept turning. The crack of Side-Along Apparition was lost to the cheering crowd inside.
As soon as they touched down in her sitting room, he dropped the Disillusionment charm. She looked up at him with a smirk and said, "Welcome to my home, Severus. I hope you enjoy your stay."
With that one remark he knew; he knew the sun would rise before he left her.
In an instant the damn finally broke. The tension that had been building during the months of her covertly teasing him. Years of loneliness for each of them finally ending. Neither made the first move. When their lips met, pure desire and passion tore through both of them.
While devouring Hermione's beautiful mouth, he reached up to unclasp her cloak and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud.
Her arms were wrapped around his neck, kissing him as if she had been starving and he were the only source of nourishment.
He needed to be closer to her, to consume her just as surely as she was trying to consume him.
He gradually started moving her backwards towards the wall next to the fireplace shedding his own coat as they moved, but never allowing his lips to leave hers.
Once her back hit the wall, Hermione released the hold she had on his neck to hoist her skirt and shimmy out of her knickers.
"I don't want to wait another minute for you, Severus."
"As you wish."
His smoldering onyx eyes never left hers as he dropped his trousers and pants. In one fluid motion he scooped her up and firmly placed her back against the wall.
His erection aching to drive into her, he uttered the last coherent thought in his brain between nips at her neck.
"No one can know about this."
"No, never…"
"Everyone will talk… all over the papers."
Hermione moaned loudly, "Damn it, Severus! Please!"
~ 11 Months Later ~
"What have I done?" Hermione groaned as she let her head fall to her desktop with a clunk.
I knew how important privacy is to him! I promised! We had an agreement, and I just had to go and push too far…
No! You didn't push too far! You couldn't keep the arrangement up forever. You acknowledged your limits, you asked for what you needed. He couldn't cope; that's on him.
But now I've lost him…
Before she could continue the debate that was taking place inside her mind, there was a sharp knock on her office door.
"Come In!" she snapped.
Hermione cringed at her own harsh tone and could tell by the way her assistant Melissa entered her office as if she were walking on eggshells that she had picked up on her emotional state as well.
"I'm sorry, Melissa. I didn't mean to bark at you like that."
Melissa smiled at her boss' apology. She liked Hermione even though she could be… intense at times.
"This just arrived for you," Melissa said as she held out a weighted parchment envelope.
Hermione took the offering from her assistant and with a small smile nodded in dismissal.
She started at the blank-faced envelope-the butterflies in her stomach starting to take flight. Deep in her heart she knew who sent it… all she had to do was turn it over. She stood there leaning up against her desk for support, hoping that this wasn't the end.
She stared at the envelope and felt like she was falling into a Pensieve. Down, down she went into her last memory of being in his presence.
Severus Snape stepped out of the fireplace at his usual time on their selected "date day" expecting an arm full of exuberant witch. What he found, was the exact opposite.
Hermione was sitting on her loveseat, several letters spread out in front of her on the coffee table. A few teardrops leaking from her eyes.
After recovering from the shock of seeing her in such a state he sat by her side and placed a comforting arm around her. She turned into his chest and began to cry in earnest.
"Hermione, what is it? Please talk to me."
"I… I don't know if you can… or… would even want to… It's-" she stopped crying and had taken to silently shaking her head "no" repeatedly.
He wanted to comfort her, but had no idea what to say. Instead of potentially upsetting her more he gently stroked her hair while trying to decipher her unintelligible mumbling.
Hermione continued to start then stop sentences all the while appearing to have a rather involved internal argument.
"You don't need to continue to fight this battle in your head, Hermione."
"I just… It's… But- I can't!"
Severus was beginning to feel the familiar pangs of irritation stirring within. Since Hermione was in no condition to explain herself, he perused the littered coffee table in search of what could have put her in such a state.
An Invitation to Longbottom's wedding, a letter from Minerva requesting she be the Graduation Speaker this year, the formal invitation to this year's Holiday Gala… It's all just standard post. What is the real issue here? At this point his patience was definitely waning, he placed his hands around Hermione's biceps and pushed her away far enough so that he could look at her.
"Now, this is your last warning, MISS Granger. You will explain yourself, or I will be taking my leave until you are ready and willing to do so."
Hermione immediately stopped blubbering and was brought to attention. She stared at him, as if truly seeing him for the first time that evening.
That snapped her out of it, he thought with a smirk.
She took a deep breath and met his eyes. "I- I've done something extremely foolish, and I've tried very, very hard to deny it. I've attempted to convince myself that things being as they are is completely acceptable… pleasant even. But there are times when it's too much. My mind starts racing when we aren't together. I have questions but I don't ask them due to the nature of our arrangement… But I can't take it anymore. I need to know."
"Know what, Hermione?"
"Severus, am I the other woman?"
He was dumbfounded. Absolutely flabbergasted. How could she even think there was anyone else?
"What?!"
"I'm sorry! I knew you'd be upset, but I need to know, because like I said, I've done something foolish and addressing it begins with knowing if you're also in a relationship with anyone else."
"What makes you even think that, Hermione?"
"It's been months, Severus. We've been together for almost a year, and we are never seen in public together! Per our agreement, I haven't told anyone, and I constantly have to lie to Harry and Ron about my dating situation. I never come to your flat or house or wherever you live. You arrive at the specific times you state you are available; we fuck and sometimes have a cuddle, and you leave. Granted, there are also the extremely domestic days when we will also share a meal, snuggle on the couch and read together and… I very much enjoy our time together… but these moments have led me down a path that I really don't think I can return from. I know I'm rambling… I can't help it! I just need you to know… I need to get it out!
"Don't get me wrong, I accept that when we started, we agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone and that we both respected each other's privacy. But… I feel like your dirty secret. I feel like I'm good enough to have sex with or an occasional meal but that's it."
Severus was visibly aggravated by this line of questioning but ground out the answer to Hermione's query. "No. You are not the other woman," he said with exhausted irritation. "I have only been following the terms of our original agreement. Now, explain. What foolish thing have you done?"
"Do you ever want to change the terms of our arrangement?"
"Hermione, you agreed. We both know we don't want to invite others into our business. Why are you bringing this up?"
Frustrated that this conversation was going just about as well as she figured it might, she stood and began pacing in front of her fireplace. "I'm tired of hiding," she said, the exasperation leaking out of her while her hands started flying. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm living a double life. I hate having to hide how I feel about you."
She glanced at his facial expression, which was a combination of shock and wariness.
Hermione then gestured towards the surface of the coffee table. "I want to attend these functions with you! I want to walk into events on your arm - to share these special moments together. I want to go out, travel, see friends, experience life and the world… not just stay in the safe bubble we have created occasionally here."
Tears began to leak from her eyes once more as she cried out, "I… I'm in love with you Severus! I want a REAL relationship with you!"
Time froze-everything he had believed and understood regarding the time he spent with Hermione Granger had just blown up in front of him.
He stared at her in shock, and she stared right back awaiting judgement.
Finally, time snapped back into place, and he blurted the first coherent thought that came to mind.
"We agreed, Hermione! What we have here is safe, untainted by the outside world. No other opinions are invited or welcome. We are free to just be!"
"But I want ALL of you, Severus! Not just moments in time! I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to share my life with you! I don't care what anyone else thinks or feels about it!"
It was too much. All of it. Her emotions. His emotions. He couldn't hold it together. Couldn't sort through how he felt about what she was saying. Couldn't understand what all this meant-he had to get out of there.
"I can't do this right now."
"What do you mean?"
"I just can't."
And with a crack, he was gone… leaving her in tears to internally debate his meaning and sudden departure.
Might as well rip the band-aid off, she thought with trepidation and remorse.
Her heart pounding in her chest. She flipped the envelope over… and there it was, his seal.
With trembling hands, she broke the wax seal and pulled the letter from its casing.
Dear Hermione,
I apologize for my sudden departure the other night. What you said and the depth of what that information meant was simply too much for me to comprehend and process instantaneously. As you may be aware, I am not the most experienced in matters of the heart. I hope you can forgive me.
If it's not too late for me - for us, I'd like to take you out this evening. 6pm?
Please send your Patronus with your response.
S
The implications of his letter took her breath away.
He wants to go out?! And send my Patronus to him regardless of where he could be?
"He doesn't want to hide anymore!" she cried out as she quickly unsheathed her wand. With all the love and joy she was feeling, casting the appropriate spell felt as natural as breathing.
As her otter merrily floated in front of her, she considered her response.
I know the perfect thing to say… a reminder of our beginning to honor this new chapter of our lives.
She whispered her message and sent the silvery messenger to find Severus Snape.
Hermione's otter bounded out of her office with such enthusiasm any passersby couldn't help but take notice. It wasn't every day a fully corporeal Patronus was not only in plain sight, but was radiating the brightest, most joyful light one had ever seen.
As the otter travelled through the halls and down two levels to the Department of Research and Development, countless Ministry workers and visitors turned their heads.
Severus Snape was pacing his office alone when Hermione's otter flew through the door, swam around him twice and came to a stop right at eye level. As he looked upon the physical manifestation of Hermione's happiness, he heard her voice playfully emanate from the floating figure in front of him.
"Why Director Snape, I thought you would never ask."
Six o'clock could not arrive fast enough for Hermione. For what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour she smoothed out her form-fitting black dress and stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom.
She examined her appearance, constantly wondering if she were either over or underdressed. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and twirled the loose curl around her finger that had already worked its way free from her chignon.
"Hermione?" she heard him call from downstairs.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath at the sound of his voice.
He's here… this is happening. We're really going to do this!
The butterflies from earlier were back. With as much confidence as she could muster, she called out, "I'm up here!"
She watched in the mirror as he appeared in her doorway. Dressed in a plain white button-up shirt, black tie and black slacks, he was the epitome of calm and collected. Nowhere near the nervous wreck that she was.
"You look beautiful, Hermione," he said quietly.
Instead of speaking to his reflection she turned to face him. She gazed upon his shy smile and felt the corners of her mouth turning up as well. When he offered a single long-stem red rose to her, she couldn't stop herself from rushing into his arms.
"Oh, Severus! You had me so worried and confused and…"
"Shhhhhh. I know. I'm sorry."
He pushed back just enough so that she could look up into his dark eyes. She felt at peace as he gently stroked her cheek.
"We are about to change the entire dynamic of our relationship, Hermione. And even though as you are well aware, I am not the best at discussing my… feelings... you need to understand that I am… afraid."
"Severus, I-"
"Please, Hermione, I've been trying to understand my reaction to your confession for the last two weeks, and I need to share this with you before we leave the safety of these walls-"
He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath.
"I want you to know that you haven't been the only one who wanted more from our relationship. Every night that we were apart, I would think of you. I wanted to be with you more frequently but had convinced myself that you were content with our arrangement and saw no point in attempting re-negotiation."
"There's been more to this than just sex for a while Severus, and you know it. As fantastic as you are in bed, there are a million other reasons that I've fallen for you."
His lips were on hers in an instant and completely took her breath away.
"And I am anxious to hear every single one... later… if we stay here much longer, I fear our public appearance may be delayed indefinitely."
Hermione quickly snatched her handbag from the bed just before Severus pulled her to his chest and turned, Disapparating them to a secluded section of Diagon Alley.
They popped into an alcove next to Gringotts and took a moment together to gain their composure.
"We're probably making a bigger deal about this than it really is," Hermione dissembled.
Severus only quirked an eyebrow in response.
"I know… wishful thinking."
Severus reached for her hand and laced his fingers betwixt her own and gave a gentle squeeze.
"Okay… I guess it's time," she said as she began to pull him towards the opening of the alcove.
Even though it was mid-November, the weather was mild and completely comfortable for an evening stroll through London's Wizarding shopping district. Early holiday shoppers were already out in full-force, arms laden with boxes and bags hanging from their elbows.
The child-like joy that she always felt around the Holiday Season surged deep within her and she held Severus' hand a little tighter.
"Something on your mind?" Severus asked as they passed by Madame Malkin's.
"How do you feel about Christmas?"
"It's overly commercialized," he responded rather matter-of-factly.
Before she could feel too disappointed, he continued.
"I didn't have the best childhood, Hermione. A good deal of the psychology that feeds into the holiday season stems from the positive feelings that most individuals have regarding the anticipation leading up to the big day. I did not experience this, although there are certain aspects that I do enjoy."
"That's good to hear…"
As they continued to walk amongst the bustling crowd, he continued. "Overall, I can tell you that I don't hate it. I will shop for gifts, attend festivities and participate in all of the requisite to-do's. I will feel the warmth of the season in sharing it with you, but you won't see me walking around with a Santa hat on spreading peace on earth and good will towards men."
At this point she looked over at him and felt the love she had been harboring towards this man bubbling in her chest. There was only one thing she could think to do with how she was feeling in that moment. She checked over her shoulder to be sure no one was following too closely and stopped walking.
The abrupt nature of Hermione's lack of forward motion jerked him backwards since their hands were still clasped. When he turned to look at her, he found a mischievous smile on her face.
In that moment, all of the anxiety she had been feeling disappeared, and she used her free hand to thread her fingers into his hair and brought his lips to hers.
Even though Severus Snape was the last person anyone would have believed to be able to share in such a public display of affection, he was, and it felt amazing. This was what she had been missing-the ability to simply be in the moment at any time with the man who was her heart's desire.
Severus gradually ended the kiss and placed a quick peck on her forehead. Hermione looked up and watched him scan the crowd from the warmth of his embrace.
"Well…? Will we need to draw wands?" she whispered
"A few incredulous stares, but for the most part everyone seems to be minding their own business."
"That's good…"
She nuzzled her cheek into his chest and heaved a contented sigh. She knew they couldn't stand there like that forever, but the moment felt amazing, and she didn't want to break the spell.
Severus popped the bubble though when he whispered in Hermione's ear, "Time to keep moving, love."
Feeling like a giddy teenager, Hermione could only nod in reply.
They wandered up and down Diagon Alley until Severus heard Hermione's stomach protest the hour and lack of sustenance.
"I do believe it is time for dinner," Severus said as he guided Hermione towards another empty alcove and pulled her close to side-along them away to an empty plot of land on a gloomy street.
Hermione looked around to try and identify their location but nothing about the area seemed familiar to her. She looked to Severus questioningly.
With a resigned nod, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "The home of Severus Snape can be found at 42 Spinners End, Cokeworth."
Hermione watched as the brick faced two-story residence came into view with a heady feeling in her chest.
He's bringing me to his home… letting me completely in.
Before she could utter a word, Severus reached for her hand and led her up the path and through the door of his childhood home.
Once inside she stood in awe of what she was seeing. She knew the man was well-read, but the sheer number of books that were lining the walls of the sitting room was staggering.
"Well, now I know the truth of why you haven't brought me home before now, Severus…"
"Hermione, I know it isn't much but-"
She could see the anxiety written all over his face and kicked herself internally for making a joke when he was being so vulnerable. She reached up to cup his cheek and smiled.
"You knew I'd want to spend more time reading than doing anything else," she finished softly and stood on her toes to be able to touch her lips to his chastely. With all the love and adoration in her heart she continued, "Thank you so much for bringing me here tonight."
"You mentioned the other night that never seeing my home had become a source of anxiety for you. I'm sure you can understand why now that you're here…"
Hermione could hear the self-deprecation in his tone and wanted nothing more than to hold onto this man and never let go.
"Severus, please, don't. This is your home, and if it is important to you, it is important to me too. I would hope that you don't believe me to be so superficial as to judge you in any way, especially with regards to your home. I look around and I see a cozy sitting room that speaks to what is important to you… knowledge and comfort."
She watched his pinched facial expression melt away to one of peaceful acceptance.
He reached for her hand and pressed it to his lips in gentlemanly fashion.
"I have dinner ready for us if you're hungry?"
"Oh! That would be lovely. To be honest, I had been so nervous that food was the last thing on my mind… but now. Yes. Dinner, please!"
With a sigh of relief, Severus led his lady to the intimate dinner he had prepared and kept under stasis until their arrival.
With a satisfied smile, Hermione placed her napkin on her empty plate.
"Severus this was lovely, I can't thank you enough for this… all of this."
"No thanks necessary, I am… grateful for the opportunity to spend this time with you."
He placed his own napkin on his plate and pushed back from the worn kitchen table. As he stood and walked towards her, she wondered what was next on the evening's agenda. Severus held his hand out towards her to guide her up from the table.
"There is one more thing I'd like to share with you this evening, Hermione."
Without more of an explanation, Severus turned and led Hermione through the door located in the rear of the kitchen which brought them outside to his backyard.
From the basic wooden staircase she was standing on, several thoughts came to mind at once. First, she contemplated the lack of winter chill in the air. Even though the sun had long-since set, it was still November, so without any kind of jacket on she should have been at least slightly chilled.
Next, she noticed in the middle of the small rectangular yard, there was a blanket laid out and a comfortable number of pillows and a few candles surrounding the perimeter. The set up looked especially inviting. Even though she felt exceptionally curious regarding what he had in mind, she managed to keep her thoughts to herself as she followed Severus without commentary down the stairs and over to the makeshift bed on the lawn.
"There's a meteor shower occurring, and tonight is said to be the best opportunity to witness it. I thought it might be enjoyable to view it together?" he said with mild trepidation as if unsure how she would react.
"Oh, Severus! What a lovely idea!"
The couple removed their shoes and situated themselves onto the blanket. Severus laid down first and opened his arms to Hermione for her to snuggle up against him, but still have the ability to look up at the starry sky.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her curly head with pure tenderness.
This is what I've been missing! This is what I've wanted for so long!
They laid together in companionable silence for some time, simply gazing at the lightshow that was playing out before them in the sky. The feelings of love and contentment that had been stirring within Hermione prompted her to take her eyes off the sky and turn towards the wizard holding her tightly. With a slight shift in her position she was able to easily place her lips to his. Just as the kiss started to heat up, Severus pulled back.
She could see that something was on his mind as he momentarily looked down, furrowing his brow and drawing a deep breath before looking back up and gently asking, "Hermione, do you think what we have will continue to feel this good now that we're going to start seeing more of each other?"
"I don't see why not. To be honest, I think that we have the potential to have something very special, Severus. Why do you ask?"
"As I mentioned to you earlier, I've been concerned about moving our relationship forward for many reasons. The obvious ones which we have already discussed, but there's also the fact that I'm not a nice man, Hermione…"
"Could have fooled me. You've been quite the gentleman this evening."
"I've been on my best behavior."
"Well, you have the capacity for niceness, and I'm sticking with that."
Suddenly, he sat up, bringing her to an upright position with him.
"I know this is going to sound like a ridiculous request considering how comfortable we just were, but I'm going to need you to do me a favor and stand up."
"Severus? Have I upset you?"
"No! Not at all, the exact opposite actually. Please Hermione, trust me?"
"Always."
Feeling slightly awkward she stood and looked down at the wizard who was still sitting at her feet. I want to know what is going on in his head right now! What is going on?
She watched as he seemed to reach the conclusion of some unspoken debate, and with a confident sense of purpose, he shifted so that he was kneeling in front of her on one knee. He reached out to hold her left hand in his and raised his head to meet her concerned stare.
"Hermione, you are a truly amazing woman. You are beautiful inside and out. You are passionate about what is important to you and compassionate in a way that is exceptional. You know yourself and have the strength to speak your truth even if no one else agrees with you. I know we didn't have the most conventional of beginnings. I know the relationship we've had up until now has been cloaked by a transactional arrangement, but it has grown in a monumental and unspoken way. Your confession two weeks ago jarred me deeply because you felt you did not mean as much to me as you do. I haven't been as open with you as I should have, and I never want you to feel that way again. I never want you to question your worth or the place you hold in my heart…"
Teardrops began to leak from the corners of her eyes at his words. This man, this powerful, intelligent and incredibly sexy man was baring his soul to her, and it was beautiful… like nothing she had ever experienced in her thirty years on this earth.
Before she could pounce on him and shower him with all the love she was feeling, he reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a small black box. Using the side of his thigh as leverage he popped it open and held it out towards her. She stared at the stunning diamond solitaire that appeared to be glowing in the candlelight surrounding them. The ring was simple, yet absolutely gorgeous. It spoke to both his personality and her own. Neither of them being flashy or ostentatious in nature, it was in one word, perfect. They both know what was important and, in this offering, Severus was making a straight-forward and bold statement.
She lifted her free hand to cover her mouth.
Severus took a deep, steadying breath and continued, "The time I spend with you is precious. I understand that this is an extremely life-changing proposition, with even greater consequences than simply dating, but this is the truth, Hermione. I love you. I am committed to you and only you without question. Someday, when the time is right… when we're both ready… will you marry me?"
Hermione felt the weight of his proposal in her knees and found herself dropping down to meet him at eye level-as his equal. While kneeling on a blanket in his peaceful back yard, she delivered her answer which would change the course of their lives forever. A promise to be open and honest, to never give up… regardless of how stubborn he could be or what life would throw at them… the ultimate acknowledgement of her feelings for him.
"Oh, Severus! Yes!" she cried with happy tears flowing freely.
In an instant Severus planted his ring on her finger and kissed the back of her hand.
She reached out to tangle her fingers in his hair and brought his lips to hers in a searing kiss. One day, this man would be her husband and she was not going to waste this opportunity to show him just how happy his proposal made her.
As their tongues danced together, Hermione released her hold on his hair only so that she could begin undressing him properly, starting with his tie. She flung it to the side not caring where the accessory ended up.
After she had completely unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it free from his trousers, he shrugged it off and threw it as well.
"The lawn is going to be full of clothes…" Hermione said with a soft giggle.
"We can Accio them later… don't care."
"Well then… please proceed."
Hermione was elated when she felt Severus grasp the hem of her dress from where it was pooled around her knees and made short work of lifting it up and over her head.
She gazed with hungry eyes as Severus stood up and unbuckled his trousers and pulled them down with his pants, freeing his burgeoning erection directly at eye-level.
Not going to waste this opportunity!
She shifted slightly forward, took hold of his erect shaft, and swiped at the tip with her tongue to taste the moisture collecting there. His hips jerked forward in anticipation of more and she smiled knowing how much he loved it when she would suck him.
"I really do love your cock, Severus," she said as she started to lick up and down his length playfully.
"Don't tease, love," he scolded in kind.
Her warm mouth surrounded him completely and she began to work him over in earnest. She felt his hands tangle in her curls the way that she loved; guiding her up and down his shaft at the pace he enjoyed.
When she reached up to squeeze his balls, he pulled out of her mouth as if he'd been burned.
"Shite, woman! Do you want me to finish now?"
"No! Not at all-"
"Well, that's enough of that," he said as he dropped down to his knees once more.
Kissing Severus consistently made her feel alive in a way that she had never felt before. There was so much unbridled passion in the way his mouth consumed hers that she could simply not get enough… this moment was not an exception.
As she fell deeper into a lust filled haze, she absentmindedly took note that Severus removed her bra and had replaced the garment with his own hands. As soon as he began to tweak both of her nipples simultaneously, she became excruciatingly aware that her knickers were soaked.
"I can smell you, Hermione. I know how badly you want me to touch you there. She's calling to me… a siren song; beckoning me to your sweetness."
He's going to kill me. That's it. This is how Hermione Granger will die… by arousal.
"Severus, you will be unable to marry me if I end up expiring from excessive dopamine… Please!"
"As you wish."
His arms were wrapped around her and she gave no resistance as he guided her body backwards so they could lay back down. He was on top of her kissing her-then working his way down her body placing soft kisses along her skin as he travelled down until he was kneeling between her spread legs.
The anticipation of what was to come was excruciating and she clamped down her bottom lip hard enough to nearly draw blood.
"I'm rather fond of your lips, Hermione, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't damage them."
Shite! This feels amazing
When he lifted her left ankle and brought it to his lips and began to kiss along her naked leg, she was putty in his hands. Frustration and admiration of his ability to draw out her pleasure were at war within her
Finally, he divested her of the last piece of clothing separating the two of them and buried his face in the apex of her thighs.
"Ohhhhh-Severus… so good…"
She was rocking her hips to increase the pressure and pleasure of his ministrations. Every swipe of his tongue drove her wild, a volcano on the precipice of eruption.
When his hand reached up to fondle her breasts once more, she was gone. Her hands flew to the dark head that was licking and suckling between her legs to hold it there as she rode out her climax.
I will never, ever get tired of him doing that!
As soon as she released her hold on his head, he began to kiss his way up her body. He travelled along the contours of her navel and continued upwards to caress each of her breasts with his talented mouth before she was looking directly into his eyes while he hovered over her.
His hair tickled her face at this angle when he closed the gap between their lips once more.
"I need to be inside you, Hermione."
"Oh, yessss…"
There was a quick jerk of his hips and he was sheathed within her depths; both of them groaning in response.
The moment passed and she pulled her knees up to cradle his hips as he began to pump in and out of her moist heat. Gradually he picked up his pace until he was well and truly fucking her, and she loved every moment of it.
"That's it, Severus… just like that."
That drove him to the next level of intensity, as she had hoped it would. From his position hovering over her, he kissed her passionately once more. She was love drunk knowing that she was the reason that this buttoned up, reserved and yet extremely powerful man was now loving her with unrestrained passion.
"I'm not going to last much longer, love. Will you come for me again, sweet one? I want to feel you quivering around me."
While he was speaking, Severus shifted backwards slightly and hooked her left leg with the crook of his right elbow and lifted it onto his shoulder which allowed him the ability to go even deeper within her.
Hermione arched her back and brought the fingertips of her right hand to her mouth, sucking on them while he watched her raptly. She brought the same hand down to rub her already overly sensitized clitoris, while using her left hand to squeeze the nipple of her left breast.
"That's it… so wonton… sexy… mine-"
She cried out in response to the last word that crossed his lips. Both of her hands working furiously in tandem with his relentless thrusts.
"Come for me!"
And she did, crying out in ecstasy, gyrating her hips and thrashing, her hands immediately shifting to ball the blanket beneath her in her fists. She was lost to her orgasm; reveling in the feel of climaxing for him on demand.
"Hermione!" he shouted as his own climax took hold.
Coherent thought could not be found as she felt him erratically pumping and pulsing inside of her.
Soon he stilled above her and brought her raised leg gently back down to the blanket beneath them. When he pulled out of her and maneuvered himself to lay next to her, she felt bereft due to the loss of their most intimate connection.
He gathered her naked body into his arms and pulled her into his loving embrace where there was peace, love and contentment. Eventually, Severus conjured a blanket to cover them so they could continue watching the sky comfortably
Hermione snuggled into his embrace and looked to the sky as a particularly bright streak crossed her field of vision she smiled. No longer would she need to make wishes on shooting stars to bring life to her deepest desires; all of her wishes had already come true.
Type: Fic
Prompter: rayvyn2k
Creator: brenamarie
Beta(s): debjunk and Amortentia in my Veins
Rating: NC-17
(Highlight to View) Warning(s): Explicit sexual content.
(Highlight to View) Prompt: The proposal. Also leading to smut.
Note: Thank you so much, rayvyn2k, for this inspiring prompt!
Summary: Hermione and Severus have a comfortable arrangement. What happens when one of them decides that the status quo is no longer enough?
He watched her exit the back of the ballroom out onto the balcony. Even from across the crowded room he knew something had sparked her ire. He knew the determination of her steps-the pure single-mindedness of her focus to simply exit; something or someone had set her off.
The Ministry Christmas Gala was in full swing, and his presence was once again necessary, not voluntary. As the head of the Ministry's Research & Development department, certain formalities were required regardless of how much he loathed this particular aspect of the position.
He put his drink down on a nearby table and gradually made his way around the perimeter of the very large room full of drunken ministry workers and their dates.
Some things never change.
Like a predator stalking its prey, he passed through a fairly large crush of partiers. With practiced ease he cast a Disillusionment charm on himself, disappearing within the crowd, and slipped out the same door she had used for her escape.
She clutched her travelling cloak as the winter wind caught her hair and blew it from her face. He was relieved to see that she hadn't been crying. Here she was, after a hasty retreat from the festivities inside, just simply staring out across the London skyline…
Even though they were the only occupants of the balcony, he wished to keep this meeting as private as possible. After casting a nonverbal Muffliato he approached her.
"Can I help you, Director Snape?"
He stopped dead in his tracks; shocked that she not only knew he was there, but that it was him specifically. He examined his person to ensure that his disillusionment charm hadn't failed for some reason.
Impressed with her awareness of him, he replied, "Yes, Director Granger, I do believe you can. You may begin by sharing with me the reason why you are currently out here and not enjoying the party?"
"Only if you state your own first," she replied saucily.
"Your previous flirtations have not gone unnoticed… I am curious as to how truly interested you are."
She smiled and tilted her head slightly, trying to gauge just how far away from her he stood. She had been doing her best to covertly flirt with the man for months. Apparently, he finally came around to what she was about, and here he was.
"You should know me well enough by now to understand that I don't play games. Conversely, I know you well enough to understand that I couldn't simply proposition you without you believing there to be some ulterior motive."
"Touché."
Then she felt his invisible arms encircle her waist. The strength-the comfort of sharing this moment with the object of her desires began to warm her from the inside. She leaned back into his embrace and shared all of the thoughts that had prompted her hasty retreat from the raucous party going on inside.
"It's exhausting, Severus. Coming to these functions single, the crush of the press, attempting to maintain the appropriate level of decorum due to my title and yet try to have a good time, but not too good of a good time… Everyone wants something from me… but what about what I want?"
She resumed staring out across the skyline.
"Would it be terribly cliché of me to suggest that I could show you a good time?"
"Why Director Snape, I thought you would never ask."
In an instant she turned in his arms, put her own arm around his waist and kept turning. The crack of Side-Along Apparition was lost to the cheering crowd inside.
As soon as they touched down in her sitting room, he dropped the Disillusionment charm. She looked up at him with a smirk and said, "Welcome to my home, Severus. I hope you enjoy your stay."
With that one remark he knew; he knew the sun would rise before he left her.
In an instant the damn finally broke. The tension that had been building during the months of her covertly teasing him. Years of loneliness for each of them finally ending. Neither made the first move. When their lips met, pure desire and passion tore through both of them.
While devouring Hermione's beautiful mouth, he reached up to unclasp her cloak and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud.
Her arms were wrapped around his neck, kissing him as if she had been starving and he were the only source of nourishment.
He needed to be closer to her, to consume her just as surely as she was trying to consume him.
He gradually started moving her backwards towards the wall next to the fireplace shedding his own coat as they moved, but never allowing his lips to leave hers.
Once her back hit the wall, Hermione released the hold she had on his neck to hoist her skirt and shimmy out of her knickers.
"I don't want to wait another minute for you, Severus."
"As you wish."
His smoldering onyx eyes never left hers as he dropped his trousers and pants. In one fluid motion he scooped her up and firmly placed her back against the wall.
His erection aching to drive into her, he uttered the last coherent thought in his brain between nips at her neck.
"No one can know about this."
"No, never…"
"Everyone will talk… all over the papers."
Hermione moaned loudly, "Damn it, Severus! Please!"
~ 11 Months Later ~
"What have I done?" Hermione groaned as she let her head fall to her desktop with a clunk.
I knew how important privacy is to him! I promised! We had an agreement, and I just had to go and push too far…
No! You didn't push too far! You couldn't keep the arrangement up forever. You acknowledged your limits, you asked for what you needed. He couldn't cope; that's on him.
But now I've lost him…
Before she could continue the debate that was taking place inside her mind, there was a sharp knock on her office door.
"Come In!" she snapped.
Hermione cringed at her own harsh tone and could tell by the way her assistant Melissa entered her office as if she were walking on eggshells that she had picked up on her emotional state as well.
"I'm sorry, Melissa. I didn't mean to bark at you like that."
Melissa smiled at her boss' apology. She liked Hermione even though she could be… intense at times.
"This just arrived for you," Melissa said as she held out a weighted parchment envelope.
Hermione took the offering from her assistant and with a small smile nodded in dismissal.
She started at the blank-faced envelope-the butterflies in her stomach starting to take flight. Deep in her heart she knew who sent it… all she had to do was turn it over. She stood there leaning up against her desk for support, hoping that this wasn't the end.
She stared at the envelope and felt like she was falling into a Pensieve. Down, down she went into her last memory of being in his presence.
Severus Snape stepped out of the fireplace at his usual time on their selected "date day" expecting an arm full of exuberant witch. What he found, was the exact opposite.
Hermione was sitting on her loveseat, several letters spread out in front of her on the coffee table. A few teardrops leaking from her eyes.
After recovering from the shock of seeing her in such a state he sat by her side and placed a comforting arm around her. She turned into his chest and began to cry in earnest.
"Hermione, what is it? Please talk to me."
"I… I don't know if you can… or… would even want to… It's-" she stopped crying and had taken to silently shaking her head "no" repeatedly.
He wanted to comfort her, but had no idea what to say. Instead of potentially upsetting her more he gently stroked her hair while trying to decipher her unintelligible mumbling.
Hermione continued to start then stop sentences all the while appearing to have a rather involved internal argument.
"You don't need to continue to fight this battle in your head, Hermione."
"I just… It's… But- I can't!"
Severus was beginning to feel the familiar pangs of irritation stirring within. Since Hermione was in no condition to explain herself, he perused the littered coffee table in search of what could have put her in such a state.
An Invitation to Longbottom's wedding, a letter from Minerva requesting she be the Graduation Speaker this year, the formal invitation to this year's Holiday Gala… It's all just standard post. What is the real issue here? At this point his patience was definitely waning, he placed his hands around Hermione's biceps and pushed her away far enough so that he could look at her.
"Now, this is your last warning, MISS Granger. You will explain yourself, or I will be taking my leave until you are ready and willing to do so."
Hermione immediately stopped blubbering and was brought to attention. She stared at him, as if truly seeing him for the first time that evening.
That snapped her out of it, he thought with a smirk.
She took a deep breath and met his eyes. "I- I've done something extremely foolish, and I've tried very, very hard to deny it. I've attempted to convince myself that things being as they are is completely acceptable… pleasant even. But there are times when it's too much. My mind starts racing when we aren't together. I have questions but I don't ask them due to the nature of our arrangement… But I can't take it anymore. I need to know."
"Know what, Hermione?"
"Severus, am I the other woman?"
He was dumbfounded. Absolutely flabbergasted. How could she even think there was anyone else?
"What?!"
"I'm sorry! I knew you'd be upset, but I need to know, because like I said, I've done something foolish and addressing it begins with knowing if you're also in a relationship with anyone else."
"What makes you even think that, Hermione?"
"It's been months, Severus. We've been together for almost a year, and we are never seen in public together! Per our agreement, I haven't told anyone, and I constantly have to lie to Harry and Ron about my dating situation. I never come to your flat or house or wherever you live. You arrive at the specific times you state you are available; we fuck and sometimes have a cuddle, and you leave. Granted, there are also the extremely domestic days when we will also share a meal, snuggle on the couch and read together and… I very much enjoy our time together… but these moments have led me down a path that I really don't think I can return from. I know I'm rambling… I can't help it! I just need you to know… I need to get it out!
"Don't get me wrong, I accept that when we started, we agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone and that we both respected each other's privacy. But… I feel like your dirty secret. I feel like I'm good enough to have sex with or an occasional meal but that's it."
Severus was visibly aggravated by this line of questioning but ground out the answer to Hermione's query. "No. You are not the other woman," he said with exhausted irritation. "I have only been following the terms of our original agreement. Now, explain. What foolish thing have you done?"
"Do you ever want to change the terms of our arrangement?"
"Hermione, you agreed. We both know we don't want to invite others into our business. Why are you bringing this up?"
Frustrated that this conversation was going just about as well as she figured it might, she stood and began pacing in front of her fireplace. "I'm tired of hiding," she said, the exasperation leaking out of her while her hands started flying. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm living a double life. I hate having to hide how I feel about you."
She glanced at his facial expression, which was a combination of shock and wariness.
Hermione then gestured towards the surface of the coffee table. "I want to attend these functions with you! I want to walk into events on your arm - to share these special moments together. I want to go out, travel, see friends, experience life and the world… not just stay in the safe bubble we have created occasionally here."
Tears began to leak from her eyes once more as she cried out, "I… I'm in love with you Severus! I want a REAL relationship with you!"
Time froze-everything he had believed and understood regarding the time he spent with Hermione Granger had just blown up in front of him.
He stared at her in shock, and she stared right back awaiting judgement.
Finally, time snapped back into place, and he blurted the first coherent thought that came to mind.
"We agreed, Hermione! What we have here is safe, untainted by the outside world. No other opinions are invited or welcome. We are free to just be!"
"But I want ALL of you, Severus! Not just moments in time! I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to share my life with you! I don't care what anyone else thinks or feels about it!"
It was too much. All of it. Her emotions. His emotions. He couldn't hold it together. Couldn't sort through how he felt about what she was saying. Couldn't understand what all this meant-he had to get out of there.
"I can't do this right now."
"What do you mean?"
"I just can't."
And with a crack, he was gone… leaving her in tears to internally debate his meaning and sudden departure.
Might as well rip the band-aid off, she thought with trepidation and remorse.
Her heart pounding in her chest. She flipped the envelope over… and there it was, his seal.
With trembling hands, she broke the wax seal and pulled the letter from its casing.
Dear Hermione,
I apologize for my sudden departure the other night. What you said and the depth of what that information meant was simply too much for me to comprehend and process instantaneously. As you may be aware, I am not the most experienced in matters of the heart. I hope you can forgive me.
If it's not too late for me - for us, I'd like to take you out this evening. 6pm?
Please send your Patronus with your response.
S
The implications of his letter took her breath away.
He wants to go out?! And send my Patronus to him regardless of where he could be?
"He doesn't want to hide anymore!" she cried out as she quickly unsheathed her wand. With all the love and joy she was feeling, casting the appropriate spell felt as natural as breathing.
As her otter merrily floated in front of her, she considered her response.
I know the perfect thing to say… a reminder of our beginning to honor this new chapter of our lives.
She whispered her message and sent the silvery messenger to find Severus Snape.
Hermione's otter bounded out of her office with such enthusiasm any passersby couldn't help but take notice. It wasn't every day a fully corporeal Patronus was not only in plain sight, but was radiating the brightest, most joyful light one had ever seen.
As the otter travelled through the halls and down two levels to the Department of Research and Development, countless Ministry workers and visitors turned their heads.
Severus Snape was pacing his office alone when Hermione's otter flew through the door, swam around him twice and came to a stop right at eye level. As he looked upon the physical manifestation of Hermione's happiness, he heard her voice playfully emanate from the floating figure in front of him.
"Why Director Snape, I thought you would never ask."
Six o'clock could not arrive fast enough for Hermione. For what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour she smoothed out her form-fitting black dress and stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom.
She examined her appearance, constantly wondering if she were either over or underdressed. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and twirled the loose curl around her finger that had already worked its way free from her chignon.
"Hermione?" she heard him call from downstairs.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath at the sound of his voice.
He's here… this is happening. We're really going to do this!
The butterflies from earlier were back. With as much confidence as she could muster, she called out, "I'm up here!"
She watched in the mirror as he appeared in her doorway. Dressed in a plain white button-up shirt, black tie and black slacks, he was the epitome of calm and collected. Nowhere near the nervous wreck that she was.
"You look beautiful, Hermione," he said quietly.
Instead of speaking to his reflection she turned to face him. She gazed upon his shy smile and felt the corners of her mouth turning up as well. When he offered a single long-stem red rose to her, she couldn't stop herself from rushing into his arms.
"Oh, Severus! You had me so worried and confused and…"
"Shhhhhh. I know. I'm sorry."
He pushed back just enough so that she could look up into his dark eyes. She felt at peace as he gently stroked her cheek.
"We are about to change the entire dynamic of our relationship, Hermione. And even though as you are well aware, I am not the best at discussing my… feelings... you need to understand that I am… afraid."
"Severus, I-"
"Please, Hermione, I've been trying to understand my reaction to your confession for the last two weeks, and I need to share this with you before we leave the safety of these walls-"
He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath.
"I want you to know that you haven't been the only one who wanted more from our relationship. Every night that we were apart, I would think of you. I wanted to be with you more frequently but had convinced myself that you were content with our arrangement and saw no point in attempting re-negotiation."
"There's been more to this than just sex for a while Severus, and you know it. As fantastic as you are in bed, there are a million other reasons that I've fallen for you."
His lips were on hers in an instant and completely took her breath away.
"And I am anxious to hear every single one... later… if we stay here much longer, I fear our public appearance may be delayed indefinitely."
Hermione quickly snatched her handbag from the bed just before Severus pulled her to his chest and turned, Disapparating them to a secluded section of Diagon Alley.
They popped into an alcove next to Gringotts and took a moment together to gain their composure.
"We're probably making a bigger deal about this than it really is," Hermione dissembled.
Severus only quirked an eyebrow in response.
"I know… wishful thinking."
Severus reached for her hand and laced his fingers betwixt her own and gave a gentle squeeze.
"Okay… I guess it's time," she said as she began to pull him towards the opening of the alcove.
Even though it was mid-November, the weather was mild and completely comfortable for an evening stroll through London's Wizarding shopping district. Early holiday shoppers were already out in full-force, arms laden with boxes and bags hanging from their elbows.
The child-like joy that she always felt around the Holiday Season surged deep within her and she held Severus' hand a little tighter.
"Something on your mind?" Severus asked as they passed by Madame Malkin's.
"How do you feel about Christmas?"
"It's overly commercialized," he responded rather matter-of-factly.
Before she could feel too disappointed, he continued.
"I didn't have the best childhood, Hermione. A good deal of the psychology that feeds into the holiday season stems from the positive feelings that most individuals have regarding the anticipation leading up to the big day. I did not experience this, although there are certain aspects that I do enjoy."
"That's good to hear…"
As they continued to walk amongst the bustling crowd, he continued. "Overall, I can tell you that I don't hate it. I will shop for gifts, attend festivities and participate in all of the requisite to-do's. I will feel the warmth of the season in sharing it with you, but you won't see me walking around with a Santa hat on spreading peace on earth and good will towards men."
At this point she looked over at him and felt the love she had been harboring towards this man bubbling in her chest. There was only one thing she could think to do with how she was feeling in that moment. She checked over her shoulder to be sure no one was following too closely and stopped walking.
The abrupt nature of Hermione's lack of forward motion jerked him backwards since their hands were still clasped. When he turned to look at her, he found a mischievous smile on her face.
In that moment, all of the anxiety she had been feeling disappeared, and she used her free hand to thread her fingers into his hair and brought his lips to hers.
Even though Severus Snape was the last person anyone would have believed to be able to share in such a public display of affection, he was, and it felt amazing. This was what she had been missing-the ability to simply be in the moment at any time with the man who was her heart's desire.
Severus gradually ended the kiss and placed a quick peck on her forehead. Hermione looked up and watched him scan the crowd from the warmth of his embrace.
"Well…? Will we need to draw wands?" she whispered
"A few incredulous stares, but for the most part everyone seems to be minding their own business."
"That's good…"
She nuzzled her cheek into his chest and heaved a contented sigh. She knew they couldn't stand there like that forever, but the moment felt amazing, and she didn't want to break the spell.
Severus popped the bubble though when he whispered in Hermione's ear, "Time to keep moving, love."
Feeling like a giddy teenager, Hermione could only nod in reply.
They wandered up and down Diagon Alley until Severus heard Hermione's stomach protest the hour and lack of sustenance.
"I do believe it is time for dinner," Severus said as he guided Hermione towards another empty alcove and pulled her close to side-along them away to an empty plot of land on a gloomy street.
Hermione looked around to try and identify their location but nothing about the area seemed familiar to her. She looked to Severus questioningly.
With a resigned nod, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "The home of Severus Snape can be found at 42 Spinners End, Cokeworth."
Hermione watched as the brick faced two-story residence came into view with a heady feeling in her chest.
He's bringing me to his home… letting me completely in.
Before she could utter a word, Severus reached for her hand and led her up the path and through the door of his childhood home.
Once inside she stood in awe of what she was seeing. She knew the man was well-read, but the sheer number of books that were lining the walls of the sitting room was staggering.
"Well, now I know the truth of why you haven't brought me home before now, Severus…"
"Hermione, I know it isn't much but-"
She could see the anxiety written all over his face and kicked herself internally for making a joke when he was being so vulnerable. She reached up to cup his cheek and smiled.
"You knew I'd want to spend more time reading than doing anything else," she finished softly and stood on her toes to be able to touch her lips to his chastely. With all the love and adoration in her heart she continued, "Thank you so much for bringing me here tonight."
"You mentioned the other night that never seeing my home had become a source of anxiety for you. I'm sure you can understand why now that you're here…"
Hermione could hear the self-deprecation in his tone and wanted nothing more than to hold onto this man and never let go.
"Severus, please, don't. This is your home, and if it is important to you, it is important to me too. I would hope that you don't believe me to be so superficial as to judge you in any way, especially with regards to your home. I look around and I see a cozy sitting room that speaks to what is important to you… knowledge and comfort."
She watched his pinched facial expression melt away to one of peaceful acceptance.
He reached for her hand and pressed it to his lips in gentlemanly fashion.
"I have dinner ready for us if you're hungry?"
"Oh! That would be lovely. To be honest, I had been so nervous that food was the last thing on my mind… but now. Yes. Dinner, please!"
With a sigh of relief, Severus led his lady to the intimate dinner he had prepared and kept under stasis until their arrival.
With a satisfied smile, Hermione placed her napkin on her empty plate.
"Severus this was lovely, I can't thank you enough for this… all of this."
"No thanks necessary, I am… grateful for the opportunity to spend this time with you."
He placed his own napkin on his plate and pushed back from the worn kitchen table. As he stood and walked towards her, she wondered what was next on the evening's agenda. Severus held his hand out towards her to guide her up from the table.
"There is one more thing I'd like to share with you this evening, Hermione."
Without more of an explanation, Severus turned and led Hermione through the door located in the rear of the kitchen which brought them outside to his backyard.
From the basic wooden staircase she was standing on, several thoughts came to mind at once. First, she contemplated the lack of winter chill in the air. Even though the sun had long-since set, it was still November, so without any kind of jacket on she should have been at least slightly chilled.
Next, she noticed in the middle of the small rectangular yard, there was a blanket laid out and a comfortable number of pillows and a few candles surrounding the perimeter. The set up looked especially inviting. Even though she felt exceptionally curious regarding what he had in mind, she managed to keep her thoughts to herself as she followed Severus without commentary down the stairs and over to the makeshift bed on the lawn.
"There's a meteor shower occurring, and tonight is said to be the best opportunity to witness it. I thought it might be enjoyable to view it together?" he said with mild trepidation as if unsure how she would react.
"Oh, Severus! What a lovely idea!"
The couple removed their shoes and situated themselves onto the blanket. Severus laid down first and opened his arms to Hermione for her to snuggle up against him, but still have the ability to look up at the starry sky.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her curly head with pure tenderness.
This is what I've been missing! This is what I've wanted for so long!
They laid together in companionable silence for some time, simply gazing at the lightshow that was playing out before them in the sky. The feelings of love and contentment that had been stirring within Hermione prompted her to take her eyes off the sky and turn towards the wizard holding her tightly. With a slight shift in her position she was able to easily place her lips to his. Just as the kiss started to heat up, Severus pulled back.
She could see that something was on his mind as he momentarily looked down, furrowing his brow and drawing a deep breath before looking back up and gently asking, "Hermione, do you think what we have will continue to feel this good now that we're going to start seeing more of each other?"
"I don't see why not. To be honest, I think that we have the potential to have something very special, Severus. Why do you ask?"
"As I mentioned to you earlier, I've been concerned about moving our relationship forward for many reasons. The obvious ones which we have already discussed, but there's also the fact that I'm not a nice man, Hermione…"
"Could have fooled me. You've been quite the gentleman this evening."
"I've been on my best behavior."
"Well, you have the capacity for niceness, and I'm sticking with that."
Suddenly, he sat up, bringing her to an upright position with him.
"I know this is going to sound like a ridiculous request considering how comfortable we just were, but I'm going to need you to do me a favor and stand up."
"Severus? Have I upset you?"
"No! Not at all, the exact opposite actually. Please Hermione, trust me?"
"Always."
Feeling slightly awkward she stood and looked down at the wizard who was still sitting at her feet. I want to know what is going on in his head right now! What is going on?
She watched as he seemed to reach the conclusion of some unspoken debate, and with a confident sense of purpose, he shifted so that he was kneeling in front of her on one knee. He reached out to hold her left hand in his and raised his head to meet her concerned stare.
"Hermione, you are a truly amazing woman. You are beautiful inside and out. You are passionate about what is important to you and compassionate in a way that is exceptional. You know yourself and have the strength to speak your truth even if no one else agrees with you. I know we didn't have the most conventional of beginnings. I know the relationship we've had up until now has been cloaked by a transactional arrangement, but it has grown in a monumental and unspoken way. Your confession two weeks ago jarred me deeply because you felt you did not mean as much to me as you do. I haven't been as open with you as I should have, and I never want you to feel that way again. I never want you to question your worth or the place you hold in my heart…"
Teardrops began to leak from the corners of her eyes at his words. This man, this powerful, intelligent and incredibly sexy man was baring his soul to her, and it was beautiful… like nothing she had ever experienced in her thirty years on this earth.
Before she could pounce on him and shower him with all the love she was feeling, he reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a small black box. Using the side of his thigh as leverage he popped it open and held it out towards her. She stared at the stunning diamond solitaire that appeared to be glowing in the candlelight surrounding them. The ring was simple, yet absolutely gorgeous. It spoke to both his personality and her own. Neither of them being flashy or ostentatious in nature, it was in one word, perfect. They both know what was important and, in this offering, Severus was making a straight-forward and bold statement.
She lifted her free hand to cover her mouth.
Severus took a deep, steadying breath and continued, "The time I spend with you is precious. I understand that this is an extremely life-changing proposition, with even greater consequences than simply dating, but this is the truth, Hermione. I love you. I am committed to you and only you without question. Someday, when the time is right… when we're both ready… will you marry me?"
Hermione felt the weight of his proposal in her knees and found herself dropping down to meet him at eye level-as his equal. While kneeling on a blanket in his peaceful back yard, she delivered her answer which would change the course of their lives forever. A promise to be open and honest, to never give up… regardless of how stubborn he could be or what life would throw at them… the ultimate acknowledgement of her feelings for him.
"Oh, Severus! Yes!" she cried with happy tears flowing freely.
In an instant Severus planted his ring on her finger and kissed the back of her hand.
She reached out to tangle her fingers in his hair and brought his lips to hers in a searing kiss. One day, this man would be her husband and she was not going to waste this opportunity to show him just how happy his proposal made her.
As their tongues danced together, Hermione released her hold on his hair only so that she could begin undressing him properly, starting with his tie. She flung it to the side not caring where the accessory ended up.
After she had completely unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it free from his trousers, he shrugged it off and threw it as well.
"The lawn is going to be full of clothes…" Hermione said with a soft giggle.
"We can Accio them later… don't care."
"Well then… please proceed."
Hermione was elated when she felt Severus grasp the hem of her dress from where it was pooled around her knees and made short work of lifting it up and over her head.
She gazed with hungry eyes as Severus stood up and unbuckled his trousers and pulled them down with his pants, freeing his burgeoning erection directly at eye-level.
Not going to waste this opportunity!
She shifted slightly forward, took hold of his erect shaft, and swiped at the tip with her tongue to taste the moisture collecting there. His hips jerked forward in anticipation of more and she smiled knowing how much he loved it when she would suck him.
"I really do love your cock, Severus," she said as she started to lick up and down his length playfully.
"Don't tease, love," he scolded in kind.
Her warm mouth surrounded him completely and she began to work him over in earnest. She felt his hands tangle in her curls the way that she loved; guiding her up and down his shaft at the pace he enjoyed.
When she reached up to squeeze his balls, he pulled out of her mouth as if he'd been burned.
"Shite, woman! Do you want me to finish now?"
"No! Not at all-"
"Well, that's enough of that," he said as he dropped down to his knees once more.
Kissing Severus consistently made her feel alive in a way that she had never felt before. There was so much unbridled passion in the way his mouth consumed hers that she could simply not get enough… this moment was not an exception.
As she fell deeper into a lust filled haze, she absentmindedly took note that Severus removed her bra and had replaced the garment with his own hands. As soon as he began to tweak both of her nipples simultaneously, she became excruciatingly aware that her knickers were soaked.
"I can smell you, Hermione. I know how badly you want me to touch you there. She's calling to me… a siren song; beckoning me to your sweetness."
He's going to kill me. That's it. This is how Hermione Granger will die… by arousal.
"Severus, you will be unable to marry me if I end up expiring from excessive dopamine… Please!"
"As you wish."
His arms were wrapped around her and she gave no resistance as he guided her body backwards so they could lay back down. He was on top of her kissing her-then working his way down her body placing soft kisses along her skin as he travelled down until he was kneeling between her spread legs.
The anticipation of what was to come was excruciating and she clamped down her bottom lip hard enough to nearly draw blood.
"I'm rather fond of your lips, Hermione, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't damage them."
Shite! This feels amazing
When he lifted her left ankle and brought it to his lips and began to kiss along her naked leg, she was putty in his hands. Frustration and admiration of his ability to draw out her pleasure were at war within her
Finally, he divested her of the last piece of clothing separating the two of them and buried his face in the apex of her thighs.
"Ohhhhh-Severus… so good…"
She was rocking her hips to increase the pressure and pleasure of his ministrations. Every swipe of his tongue drove her wild, a volcano on the precipice of eruption.
When his hand reached up to fondle her breasts once more, she was gone. Her hands flew to the dark head that was licking and suckling between her legs to hold it there as she rode out her climax.
I will never, ever get tired of him doing that!
As soon as she released her hold on his head, he began to kiss his way up her body. He travelled along the contours of her navel and continued upwards to caress each of her breasts with his talented mouth before she was looking directly into his eyes while he hovered over her.
His hair tickled her face at this angle when he closed the gap between their lips once more.
"I need to be inside you, Hermione."
"Oh, yessss…"
There was a quick jerk of his hips and he was sheathed within her depths; both of them groaning in response.
The moment passed and she pulled her knees up to cradle his hips as he began to pump in and out of her moist heat. Gradually he picked up his pace until he was well and truly fucking her, and she loved every moment of it.
"That's it, Severus… just like that."
That drove him to the next level of intensity, as she had hoped it would. From his position hovering over her, he kissed her passionately once more. She was love drunk knowing that she was the reason that this buttoned up, reserved and yet extremely powerful man was now loving her with unrestrained passion.
"I'm not going to last much longer, love. Will you come for me again, sweet one? I want to feel you quivering around me."
While he was speaking, Severus shifted backwards slightly and hooked her left leg with the crook of his right elbow and lifted it onto his shoulder which allowed him the ability to go even deeper within her.
Hermione arched her back and brought the fingertips of her right hand to her mouth, sucking on them while he watched her raptly. She brought the same hand down to rub her already overly sensitized clitoris, while using her left hand to squeeze the nipple of her left breast.
"That's it… so wonton… sexy… mine-"
She cried out in response to the last word that crossed his lips. Both of her hands working furiously in tandem with his relentless thrusts.
"Come for me!"
And she did, crying out in ecstasy, gyrating her hips and thrashing, her hands immediately shifting to ball the blanket beneath her in her fists. She was lost to her orgasm; reveling in the feel of climaxing for him on demand.
"Hermione!" he shouted as his own climax took hold.
Coherent thought could not be found as she felt him erratically pumping and pulsing inside of her.
Soon he stilled above her and brought her raised leg gently back down to the blanket beneath them. When he pulled out of her and maneuvered himself to lay next to her, she felt bereft due to the loss of their most intimate connection.
He gathered her naked body into his arms and pulled her into his loving embrace where there was peace, love and contentment. Eventually, Severus conjured a blanket to cover them so they could continue watching the sky comfortably
Hermione snuggled into his embrace and looked to the sky as a particularly bright streak crossed her field of vision she smiled. No longer would she need to make wishes on shooting stars to bring life to her deepest desires; all of her wishes had already come true.