Klimt
The last thing said before I woke up from my dream, "Klimt". Of course it was his painting, "The Kiss" - I was about to show them my photo recreation of that painting, H and I at Blake Island. It is a beautiful photo - I don't know if I have ever shared it. After 20+ years I should, shouldn't I?
The dream was so colorful - all about art. There were people working on a 'competition' and submitting pieces that had swirling circles on their paintings - a sort of embedding of computer art into physical (augmented reality?). There was a consultation about how the mail slot for entries should be constructed into the wall. The people were lively and focused. I had looked at my class schedule and saw that I had all five of my classes on Fridays. A busy day ahead. We were all living together - as like in a huge shared house. I wanted to have something artsy to wear every day, but discovered that my mother had thrown out my boxes of 'old' clothes without talking with me. My sister knew, but as it was between them, she aligned with mom and let me find out the hard way. I rankled at memories of having to deal with their triangulation schemes all my life.
I slept for almost 12 hours last night. It was well needed. The night before I choked in my sleep (didn't have my cpap machine with me) --and it was worse than I have ever experienced. I felt frozen when I recovered. I wasn't struggling as I usually do. I think I didn't even wake during the worst of it. I did know something was happening - something very heavy. I woke to the horrible taste in my throat - that raw, blooded taste. My heart wasn't beating fast so much as .... just missing. I felt a huge blank space in my upper chest and throat. I wondered if I could see it if I got a mirror. I lay there for a long time waiting for some sense of solidness to return. I couldn't go back to sleep. It made me afraid to sleep again.
I told Moreah and Clin that I realized I had not cleaned the house (!) Damn. I can't let someone find my body in a dirty house. It's good to laugh about it.
Clin called me this morning to "see if I was alive." I'm going to get a housekeeper to come in once in a while .... and, yes, an appointment with the sleep clinic.