So I wake up this morning at like 6:20am
And I hit the snooze button.
Probably 10 times.
Yeah, so I finally drag my arse out of bed at like 8:05 and grab a quick shower. I got dressed and out the door by 8:30. I heard on the radio that there was an accident with injuries on 295 south at Blanding, so I called Cara to let her know I'll probably be late for work. Left message. Get to riding, man it's gorgeous. I mean, blue skies, nice breeze, traffic's gridlocked on Blanding the way only OP natives can appreciate. Wonderful day to ride. I get on the interstate and traffic lightens up, and therefore I can cruise. I'm just a-cruisin along, got REM in my head, hit the Buckman and reach the top of the hump. I look forward and see --- clouds. Lots of dark McNasty clouds. And the edge of the river, hence the end of the bridge, is a wall of water. Rain so heavy it might well be hail. Ice from the gods, at 70mph, kind of stings a little. I got off the road, on to San Jose. I pulled into WalMart. I'm a soaked bitch now. I pull up on their sidewalk, thinking the whole time that if a blue vest gives me shit I'm taking off my wet shirt and strangling this person. I go inside and this little old lady is greeting people. She runs over to me and tries to remedy my soakedness with some paper towels. Somehow this made me feel much better. I love old nice people. I'll never be one, but I still love them. Crabby ones that drive Cadillacs, yeah they suck. But this one was like my grandma, only smaller and more alive. So I called Cara again to let her know the drowned rat that I am is in WalMart buying a change of clothes. Then I pick out a Gator shirt because it was $7 and a pair of jeans. I waited out the storm and then left.
Funny thing, it was almost sunny at WalMart when I left, but by the time I got under the interstate to go to Sunbeam I could see more walled water waiting to greet me. So I get to work with dry clothes in a bag bungeed to my seat. I walk in. Never took off my helmet because by god my head was warm and dry. The security guard laughed at me, but he's a buddy of mine. I told him what happened. He thought it was hilarious. Har de har, but I'm in an ok mood. I get upstairs and drop off the helmet, then go back downstairs to get the bungees I dropped in the road. On the way up the stairs I realize what I'd forgotten. Dry socks and dry boxers. I go to the restroom to change, and you know ... it's just shitty putting back on wet boxers. The air froze them. Here I am singing in my head Shrivel on up, to the inside to the tune of The Jeffersons theme. I know, I'm a dork. The wet socks were fun, too.
So here I am, at my desk a bit over 3 hours later. My socks are laying across my shoes and I'm hoping they're drying. I'd almost hang them on my fan if my boss wouldn't say something. My feet are cold, the inside of my thighs is almost raw, and I've had two calls all day. It's wonderful. I look outside and it's sunny. In fact, it was sunny right after I got to work. It's like God looked down, saw me and smiled.
Smiled as he dropped his pants and took a big stinky poop on me.
Probably 10 times.
Yeah, so I finally drag my arse out of bed at like 8:05 and grab a quick shower. I got dressed and out the door by 8:30. I heard on the radio that there was an accident with injuries on 295 south at Blanding, so I called Cara to let her know I'll probably be late for work. Left message. Get to riding, man it's gorgeous. I mean, blue skies, nice breeze, traffic's gridlocked on Blanding the way only OP natives can appreciate. Wonderful day to ride. I get on the interstate and traffic lightens up, and therefore I can cruise. I'm just a-cruisin along, got REM in my head, hit the Buckman and reach the top of the hump. I look forward and see --- clouds. Lots of dark McNasty clouds. And the edge of the river, hence the end of the bridge, is a wall of water. Rain so heavy it might well be hail. Ice from the gods, at 70mph, kind of stings a little. I got off the road, on to San Jose. I pulled into WalMart. I'm a soaked bitch now. I pull up on their sidewalk, thinking the whole time that if a blue vest gives me shit I'm taking off my wet shirt and strangling this person. I go inside and this little old lady is greeting people. She runs over to me and tries to remedy my soakedness with some paper towels. Somehow this made me feel much better. I love old nice people. I'll never be one, but I still love them. Crabby ones that drive Cadillacs, yeah they suck. But this one was like my grandma, only smaller and more alive. So I called Cara again to let her know the drowned rat that I am is in WalMart buying a change of clothes. Then I pick out a Gator shirt because it was $7 and a pair of jeans. I waited out the storm and then left.
Funny thing, it was almost sunny at WalMart when I left, but by the time I got under the interstate to go to Sunbeam I could see more walled water waiting to greet me. So I get to work with dry clothes in a bag bungeed to my seat. I walk in. Never took off my helmet because by god my head was warm and dry. The security guard laughed at me, but he's a buddy of mine. I told him what happened. He thought it was hilarious. Har de har, but I'm in an ok mood. I get upstairs and drop off the helmet, then go back downstairs to get the bungees I dropped in the road. On the way up the stairs I realize what I'd forgotten. Dry socks and dry boxers. I go to the restroom to change, and you know ... it's just shitty putting back on wet boxers. The air froze them. Here I am singing in my head Shrivel on up, to the inside to the tune of The Jeffersons theme. I know, I'm a dork. The wet socks were fun, too.
So here I am, at my desk a bit over 3 hours later. My socks are laying across my shoes and I'm hoping they're drying. I'd almost hang them on my fan if my boss wouldn't say something. My feet are cold, the inside of my thighs is almost raw, and I've had two calls all day. It's wonderful. I look outside and it's sunny. In fact, it was sunny right after I got to work. It's like God looked down, saw me and smiled.
Smiled as he dropped his pants and took a big stinky poop on me.