Amnesia & Reminiscences
I have more memories than if I had lived a thousand years,
An old cabinet stuffed with dead ideas
- Bundles of abandoned verses, old receipts and bills,
Dusty locks of hair, and long forgotten wills -
Is not more full of secrets than my aching head.
Oh bahh! These translations never work. It's so rigid.
J'ai plus de souvenirs que si j'avais mille ans.
Un gros meuble a tiroirs encombre de bilans,
De vers, de billets doux, de proces, de romances,
Avec de lourds cheveux roules dans des quittances,
Cache moins de secrets que mon triste cerveau.
Now isn't that a lot better?
---
Quote Of The Day:
Her mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of past gaiety.
- Charlotte Bronte
---
This has happened frequently in the past couple of months or so. It's happened again today. And it's beginning to bother me.
How can I just... not remember? How can I just forget about the childhood memories worth treasuring for the rest of my life?
These things I have kept in a dusty corner of the Memory Warehouse for so long, that I have completely forgotten about their existence. But they are flooding back to me at the prompt of a name or an event.
I did not have any recollection of James' 11th birthday party until he asked a while back if I could make it for his party next year. After that, everything - even the smallest details - came back to me. The pizza toppings we had, the cake (strawberry cheesecake), the people, fragments of the conversation, the way I pulled Jasper's tail. (See? The name of James' mum's cat just popped like that!) I can even recall the complete decor of their house and the position of the furniture.
This is not normal. Even if I've been to his house a lot of times, this is still not normal. Honestly, I have not so much as had the name "James" cross my mind in the past couple of years. Well, come to think of it again, beside the once or twice my mum mentioned that James had called her, or rang the door bell when he was in the area, to check if I was back home yet. But even then, it didn't bring any memory apart from that I know this guy, or rather, I know his name.
Today he said something about BJ. I was a little confused at how James had ever known BJ. So I asked him, and he said I had introduced them. But I didn't remember a thing about it until he began mentioning the particulars. Then, FLASH BACK! (I think) I was the one who came up with the idea to have a picnic. We discussed it over a multi-way phone call, and James, Wendy, Jon, Simon and BJ agreed to come. We had each brought a little food from home and bought the rest at Westfield. We ate in Burwood Park. I remember us fooling around with chicken popcorn from KFC. I remember us trying to play chess on some large black & white checkered tiles. I remember us doing random fun stuff for the rest of the afternoon.
Just as I am typing this entry, several other things have also returned to me. Excursion to Wonderland with Jon and Simon I had gotten into a small argument with my mum over that. She wouldn't let me go because she thought it was unsafe as there will be no adult accompanying us. She had finally agreed to let me go, and I had some of the best fun in my life. I can still visualise the devil roller coaster ride (announced best in the southern hemisphere), and I even remember what lunch I bought at the food court (a corndog and a chicken burger); several tennis workouts with Jon, Simon and Wendy Jon had invited us and was kind enough to pay for the court rental on all those occasions; cake baking at Wendy's house This is when I first introduced BJ to my friends from primary school. James was also there. We made a hell of a mess to produce a squishy thing I am too embarrassed to call a cake. But it tasted alright...; the Easter Show I had gone to with Jon and Wendy; and many many other treasurable times I have spent with my old friends.
In fact, I am now also recalling a lot things from high school that I had forgotten all about, such as my awful audition for a part in the school musical I ended up playing keyboard in the band, which just makes me happier; the Valentine's incident; the trip to view a recital play by the drama majors from UWS with the rest of my drama class; my bold letter to the prinicipal, Mr. Stojanovich Who was kind and understanding, and gave me the opportunity to do my grade-skipping act for the second time; the huge animated argument with my music teacher He had pissed me off just once too many. I must admit though that, strictly speaking, he had not done anything wrong, but neither had I; how I jigged school for the first time in my life with Neshette and Winni on a Wednesday after lunch How I'd sat on a swing in the park and told them my secret. It was the first time in my life that I'd shared it with anyone. I had felt so relieved like some of the heavy burdens in my heart had been lifted. I really could've cried when they hugged me; and my hilarious crush on some guy I didn't even know ROFL.
Actually, you know what I feel like? I feel like I have just woken up from a coma.
An old cabinet stuffed with dead ideas
- Bundles of abandoned verses, old receipts and bills,
Dusty locks of hair, and long forgotten wills -
Is not more full of secrets than my aching head.
Oh bahh! These translations never work. It's so rigid.
J'ai plus de souvenirs que si j'avais mille ans.
Un gros meuble a tiroirs encombre de bilans,
De vers, de billets doux, de proces, de romances,
Avec de lourds cheveux roules dans des quittances,
Cache moins de secrets que mon triste cerveau.
Now isn't that a lot better?
---
Quote Of The Day:
Her mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of past gaiety.
- Charlotte Bronte
---
This has happened frequently in the past couple of months or so. It's happened again today. And it's beginning to bother me.
How can I just... not remember? How can I just forget about the childhood memories worth treasuring for the rest of my life?
These things I have kept in a dusty corner of the Memory Warehouse for so long, that I have completely forgotten about their existence. But they are flooding back to me at the prompt of a name or an event.
I did not have any recollection of James' 11th birthday party until he asked a while back if I could make it for his party next year. After that, everything - even the smallest details - came back to me. The pizza toppings we had, the cake (strawberry cheesecake), the people, fragments of the conversation, the way I pulled Jasper's tail. (See? The name of James' mum's cat just popped like that!) I can even recall the complete decor of their house and the position of the furniture.
This is not normal. Even if I've been to his house a lot of times, this is still not normal. Honestly, I have not so much as had the name "James" cross my mind in the past couple of years. Well, come to think of it again, beside the once or twice my mum mentioned that James had called her, or rang the door bell when he was in the area, to check if I was back home yet. But even then, it didn't bring any memory apart from that I know this guy, or rather, I know his name.
Today he said something about BJ. I was a little confused at how James had ever known BJ. So I asked him, and he said I had introduced them. But I didn't remember a thing about it until he began mentioning the particulars. Then, FLASH BACK! (I think) I was the one who came up with the idea to have a picnic. We discussed it over a multi-way phone call, and James, Wendy, Jon, Simon and BJ agreed to come. We had each brought a little food from home and bought the rest at Westfield. We ate in Burwood Park. I remember us fooling around with chicken popcorn from KFC. I remember us trying to play chess on some large black & white checkered tiles. I remember us doing random fun stuff for the rest of the afternoon.
Just as I am typing this entry, several other things have also returned to me. Excursion to Wonderland with Jon and Simon I had gotten into a small argument with my mum over that. She wouldn't let me go because she thought it was unsafe as there will be no adult accompanying us. She had finally agreed to let me go, and I had some of the best fun in my life. I can still visualise the devil roller coaster ride (announced best in the southern hemisphere), and I even remember what lunch I bought at the food court (a corndog and a chicken burger); several tennis workouts with Jon, Simon and Wendy Jon had invited us and was kind enough to pay for the court rental on all those occasions; cake baking at Wendy's house This is when I first introduced BJ to my friends from primary school. James was also there. We made a hell of a mess to produce a squishy thing I am too embarrassed to call a cake. But it tasted alright...; the Easter Show I had gone to with Jon and Wendy; and many many other treasurable times I have spent with my old friends.
In fact, I am now also recalling a lot things from high school that I had forgotten all about, such as my awful audition for a part in the school musical I ended up playing keyboard in the band, which just makes me happier; the Valentine's incident; the trip to view a recital play by the drama majors from UWS with the rest of my drama class; my bold letter to the prinicipal, Mr. Stojanovich Who was kind and understanding, and gave me the opportunity to do my grade-skipping act for the second time; the huge animated argument with my music teacher He had pissed me off just once too many. I must admit though that, strictly speaking, he had not done anything wrong, but neither had I; how I jigged school for the first time in my life with Neshette and Winni on a Wednesday after lunch How I'd sat on a swing in the park and told them my secret. It was the first time in my life that I'd shared it with anyone. I had felt so relieved like some of the heavy burdens in my heart had been lifted. I really could've cried when they hugged me; and my hilarious crush on some guy I didn't even know ROFL.
Actually, you know what I feel like? I feel like I have just woken up from a coma.