(no subject)
I'm back from orientation.
I decided I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to college. I want to live in Atlanta, work some job and have an apartment and be that loser that does nothing but try to keep up with his highschool friends as they all move on. Austin seems cool, but the 100+ degree temp, and the 90% humidity were not cool..esp since it was 20 degrees in all the buildings. Freeze or boil. I got all my classes. Thank God. But I'm going to be in Bio-Med engineering and Plan 2...it's a 5 yr. + commitment and one in which I don't get to enjoy most of the 5 yrs.
I decided that, unless one or two specific things happen in my life to change this, I want to enlist in the army, or navy or something. This isn't the reckless feeling of invulnerability, because I realize that in doing so I could get injured or killed or something. But I got the strong urge to do something with myself that mattered, because I really feel that all this school and education is making me a very selfish person. I keep trying to improve myself and am, in the mean time, not helping others. something from bible class came back to me...about making your body a sacrifice, an offering to God. I guess I feel/have felt that enlisting is how I would do that. Or maybe I'm on crack and this feeling will be gone in 5 minutes. But it's pretty strong now. And I know I wouldn't right now. I would wait till college is over..or till I fail out. Then i'd let the gov pay for my med school and have my residency be over in iraq or wherever GW has us invading next (oh yeah, I'm also getting the strong notion we'll be seeing 4 more years of him). I also had a funny, though kinda warming thought. Orientation has kinda got me thinking that UT might not be the place for me. If I still think that after my freshmen year, I decided I probably would like to transfer to a service academy...if I went to westpoint, I'd have michael as an upper-classmen and would be saluting him...I have to say i'd rather salute him than probably anyone else. I miss him and need to send that letter that's been on my computer for a week.
I really don't know where my life's going. I feel lost. I should feel like I have more direction now...but I don't.
I decided I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to college. I want to live in Atlanta, work some job and have an apartment and be that loser that does nothing but try to keep up with his highschool friends as they all move on. Austin seems cool, but the 100+ degree temp, and the 90% humidity were not cool..esp since it was 20 degrees in all the buildings. Freeze or boil. I got all my classes. Thank God. But I'm going to be in Bio-Med engineering and Plan 2...it's a 5 yr. + commitment and one in which I don't get to enjoy most of the 5 yrs.
I decided that, unless one or two specific things happen in my life to change this, I want to enlist in the army, or navy or something. This isn't the reckless feeling of invulnerability, because I realize that in doing so I could get injured or killed or something. But I got the strong urge to do something with myself that mattered, because I really feel that all this school and education is making me a very selfish person. I keep trying to improve myself and am, in the mean time, not helping others. something from bible class came back to me...about making your body a sacrifice, an offering to God. I guess I feel/have felt that enlisting is how I would do that. Or maybe I'm on crack and this feeling will be gone in 5 minutes. But it's pretty strong now. And I know I wouldn't right now. I would wait till college is over..or till I fail out. Then i'd let the gov pay for my med school and have my residency be over in iraq or wherever GW has us invading next (oh yeah, I'm also getting the strong notion we'll be seeing 4 more years of him). I also had a funny, though kinda warming thought. Orientation has kinda got me thinking that UT might not be the place for me. If I still think that after my freshmen year, I decided I probably would like to transfer to a service academy...if I went to westpoint, I'd have michael as an upper-classmen and would be saluting him...I have to say i'd rather salute him than probably anyone else. I miss him and need to send that letter that's been on my computer for a week.
I really don't know where my life's going. I feel lost. I should feel like I have more direction now...but I don't.