the beginning is the end is the beginning (21)
Title: The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (20)
Characters: Hotch, Jack, OC
Rating: T for eventualities
Summary: Following Haley's death, Hotch has to hire someone to help him take care of Jack. Both father and son have to learn to let people into their lives once again.
A/N: Obviously, this is slightly AU. Jessica is unable to care for Jack, and for the purposes of this story, Haley died at the end of the summer. Also, I've taken liberties with Hotch's home.
A/N 2: I'm always slightly nervous when I post a multi-chapter for a new fandom, especially one that involves an OC. They're dangerous territory ;P
Disclaimer: None of the characters from Criminal Minds belong to me. Cara, on the other hand, does.
"I think you made his day," Hotch murmured as he pulled Jack's door shut halfway. "You could have called, you know," he continued, following her down the stairs. "Instead of going to Dave."
It was quiet, but she could hear the hurt in his voice, and it surprised her. Though maybe it shouldn't have - she had been trying to convince him that they were friends, and then she had bypassed him by going to Dave. Giving him a small smile, she sat down beside him on the couch.
"I didn't want to upset your Christmas." She rolled her eyes. "And the airport isn't exactly the nicest way to spend a holiday."
He watched her for a moment, leaning back against the cushions. "And yet you chose to fly out on Christmas morning instead of staying with your family."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "This is going to be one of those times when you want to know more than I'm telling, isn't it?"
Hotch shrugged, staring at his hands. "I just want to understand."
For a minute, she didn't say anything at all. She knew this was one of those moments, where she had to give something of herself instead of holding back. Taking a deep breath, she pulled her knees up against her chest and started talking quietly.
"My family wasn't thrilled when I left Maine for college."
"They wanted you to stay closer to home?"
Cara nodded. "Nobody in that family ever leaves. They go to school in-state, they buy houses in the same neighborhoods, they get together for every holiday. They don't understand why anyone would want to be somewhere else."
"But you did."
"We don't exactly see eye-to-eye on most things. Makes family gatherings…somewhat stressful." She paused, staring down at the couch instead of meeting his eyes. "After my mom died, they expected me to move in with my dad. Maybe they even expected me to cling to them. But I couldn't do it. I was seventeen, and I was angry, and I was sick of everything. I just wanted to be on my own. Be on my own and be my own person, you know?"
"Where did you go?"
There was no judgment in his voice, nothing but quiet support to keep telling her story. Cara looked up and gave him a small thankful smile. "I stayed with my best friend and her mom for the rest of high school. And then we went off to college together. And I never really looked back." She took another breath. "Until now. And everyone felt the need to tell me exactly what I was doing wrong with my life - which is everything, by the way - and…it just wouldn't stop. Family is supposed to make you feel loved and comfortable. They don't do that…you and Jack, though…you do. So I decided I'd rather come back as soon as possible and be with the people who make me happy."
There was more to the story. He knew it, and she knew that he knew. But he couldn't expect her to explain everything in one night. With his job, he got used to learning everything about an UNSUB or a victim in a matter of days - but it didn't work like that in personal relationships. It was a lesson worth remembering, and he held his questions back for the moment, seeing the weariness in her eyes. All that mattered was that she was home and safe, and that Jack was happy.
"I'm glad you did," he said quietly. "So is Jack. This was a hard Christmas for him."
"The first one after a loss always is," she replied, her voice almost a whisper. Clearing her throat, she stood up. "Wanna take part in my favorite Christmas tradition?"
Caught off-guard, Hotch blinked up at her. "Sure."
She disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes before coming back out with two glasses of wine. One by one, she flipped each of the lights out, until only the tree was lit. Then she sat down next to him and passed him a glass, leaning back into the cushions.
"Now what?" he asked.
Cara took a sip and smiled, her face glowing under the lights. "We just sit."
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"I can't believe he didn't even make it to ten," Emily laughed, shaking her head as she stared down at Jack. The little boy snored softly on the couch.
"Well, he did fight an epic snowball battle today," Cara reminded her.
That made Emily laugh even harder. "I don't think I will ever forget seeing Hotch and Dave hunkering down behind little snow forts, lobbing snowballs at each other."
"Like I said, epic." Handing Emily the beers, she picked up the tray of champagne glasses and they headed into the living room. "Alright, boys. Resolution time."
Dave gave her one of his classic looks. "I'm too old for those."
"Right," Emily agreed. "Old dogs, new tricks…"
His look turned into a glare, and Cara bit back a chuckle, turning to Hotch. "And you?"
His expression was pained. "Do I really look the type?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to her friend. "Fine. Emily?"
The brunette thought for a second. "It's going to sound vague, and cheesy, but...I'm going to stop running this year. And try to believe that good things can happen to me."
It may have sounded lighthearted, but everyone in the room knew the seriousness that lay behind those words. And they knew how much it had cost Emily to say them. Dave's mouth quirked up into a smile as Hotch nodded thoughtfully, and Cara smiled at her friend.
"Those sound like very good resolutions."
"And you?"
"This year..." Cara paused, trying to find the exact words. When they came, she couldn't help but grin wickedly and take a sip of her beer. "This year my demons can kiss my ass."
Emily was the first one with her bottle raised, but the others were quick to join in. "Here, here," Dave called. "Well said, kiddo."
"Ooh!" Emily exclaimed. "Thirty seconds. Switch to champagne."
She passed the glasses out quickly before perching on the arm of Dave's chair, everyone's attention on the big ball on the television. Cara let her eyes slide over to Hotch for just a moment, seeing the haunted thoughts lying just behind his expression. She hoped maybe his demons could take a hike this year as well, but she knew better than anyone that it was never an easy process.
The crowd on t.v. started chanting as the clock slid down, taking the ball with it. Emily and Cara's voices joined them, until the screen exploded in color and sound and the four of them turned to share a toast. After hugging Emily and Dave tightly, she went back to the couch and sat down beside Hotch, smiling at him warmly. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek.
"Happy New Year, Aaron," she said quietly.
He stared at her in surprise for a moment, but then something caught her eye, and her mouth dropped open. Hotch frowned, turning to look behind him.
Emily and Dave were still standing, though their champagne glasses were forgotten on the table behind them. They kissed slowly and softly, as though both were caught off-guard by the events, but unable to pull away. Cara leaned back and smiled at them for a moment before turning to Hotch.
"You're not going to be Mr. Mean Boss and rain on their parade, are you?"
Still watching them, Hotch thought about his answer. "I should," he said slowly.
"But?"
His eyes were pained as they turned back to her own. "Who am I to ruin someone else's happiness?" He shook his head. "I trust those two - if it becomes an issue, I'll deal with it then."
She couldn't help it - she leaned in and kissed his cheek again. "You're a good man, Aaron Hotchner."
"I'm getting soft in my old age," he grumbled.
Cara smirked. "Good."
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“Something smells incredibly good down here,” Hotch said as he made his way down the stairs.
Jack grinned from his step stool near the stove. “Grilled cheese and soup, Daddy!”
“Is there enough for me?”
“Of course, silly!”
Cara chuckled, shaking her head. “Tomato or clam chowder?”
His phone went off and he sighed. “Tomato, please. Hotchner.”
It was J.J. “We’ve got a case.”
There something in her voice, and he frowned, signaling for Cara to wait. “Is everything okay?”
She hesitated, and that told him more than any words could. “It’s a bad one, Hotch.”
He nodded. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
As he hung up, Cara gave him a sympathetic look. “There’s a wind chill of negative ten.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“More bad guys, Daddy?” Jack asked, looking up at his father with sad eyes.
Hotch nodded, squatting down so that he was eye level with his son. “Yeah. Sorry, buddy.”
“Can we make grilled cheese again when you get back?”
“Of course we can.” He reached out and hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”
He went over to the closet, bundling up with everything he could find. There was a suit in his go bag - it could wait until he was at the office. Bending down to pick it up, he was surprised to find a hot travel cup pressed into his hands.
“You can have the soup to go,” Cara said. “Be safe.”
Hotch nodded, giving her a small smile. “I’ll call when I can.”
They watched him walk out into the snow, almost disappearing before he’d even reached the car.
“We’ll pray for Daddy tonight, right?” Jack asked.
Cara nodded, ruffling his hair as she turned her attention back to the stove. “Absolutely.”
Characters: Hotch, Jack, OC
Rating: T for eventualities
Summary: Following Haley's death, Hotch has to hire someone to help him take care of Jack. Both father and son have to learn to let people into their lives once again.
A/N: Obviously, this is slightly AU. Jessica is unable to care for Jack, and for the purposes of this story, Haley died at the end of the summer. Also, I've taken liberties with Hotch's home.
A/N 2: I'm always slightly nervous when I post a multi-chapter for a new fandom, especially one that involves an OC. They're dangerous territory ;P
Disclaimer: None of the characters from Criminal Minds belong to me. Cara, on the other hand, does.
"I think you made his day," Hotch murmured as he pulled Jack's door shut halfway. "You could have called, you know," he continued, following her down the stairs. "Instead of going to Dave."
It was quiet, but she could hear the hurt in his voice, and it surprised her. Though maybe it shouldn't have - she had been trying to convince him that they were friends, and then she had bypassed him by going to Dave. Giving him a small smile, she sat down beside him on the couch.
"I didn't want to upset your Christmas." She rolled her eyes. "And the airport isn't exactly the nicest way to spend a holiday."
He watched her for a moment, leaning back against the cushions. "And yet you chose to fly out on Christmas morning instead of staying with your family."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "This is going to be one of those times when you want to know more than I'm telling, isn't it?"
Hotch shrugged, staring at his hands. "I just want to understand."
For a minute, she didn't say anything at all. She knew this was one of those moments, where she had to give something of herself instead of holding back. Taking a deep breath, she pulled her knees up against her chest and started talking quietly.
"My family wasn't thrilled when I left Maine for college."
"They wanted you to stay closer to home?"
Cara nodded. "Nobody in that family ever leaves. They go to school in-state, they buy houses in the same neighborhoods, they get together for every holiday. They don't understand why anyone would want to be somewhere else."
"But you did."
"We don't exactly see eye-to-eye on most things. Makes family gatherings…somewhat stressful." She paused, staring down at the couch instead of meeting his eyes. "After my mom died, they expected me to move in with my dad. Maybe they even expected me to cling to them. But I couldn't do it. I was seventeen, and I was angry, and I was sick of everything. I just wanted to be on my own. Be on my own and be my own person, you know?"
"Where did you go?"
There was no judgment in his voice, nothing but quiet support to keep telling her story. Cara looked up and gave him a small thankful smile. "I stayed with my best friend and her mom for the rest of high school. And then we went off to college together. And I never really looked back." She took another breath. "Until now. And everyone felt the need to tell me exactly what I was doing wrong with my life - which is everything, by the way - and…it just wouldn't stop. Family is supposed to make you feel loved and comfortable. They don't do that…you and Jack, though…you do. So I decided I'd rather come back as soon as possible and be with the people who make me happy."
There was more to the story. He knew it, and she knew that he knew. But he couldn't expect her to explain everything in one night. With his job, he got used to learning everything about an UNSUB or a victim in a matter of days - but it didn't work like that in personal relationships. It was a lesson worth remembering, and he held his questions back for the moment, seeing the weariness in her eyes. All that mattered was that she was home and safe, and that Jack was happy.
"I'm glad you did," he said quietly. "So is Jack. This was a hard Christmas for him."
"The first one after a loss always is," she replied, her voice almost a whisper. Clearing her throat, she stood up. "Wanna take part in my favorite Christmas tradition?"
Caught off-guard, Hotch blinked up at her. "Sure."
She disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes before coming back out with two glasses of wine. One by one, she flipped each of the lights out, until only the tree was lit. Then she sat down next to him and passed him a glass, leaning back into the cushions.
"Now what?" he asked.
Cara took a sip and smiled, her face glowing under the lights. "We just sit."
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"I can't believe he didn't even make it to ten," Emily laughed, shaking her head as she stared down at Jack. The little boy snored softly on the couch.
"Well, he did fight an epic snowball battle today," Cara reminded her.
That made Emily laugh even harder. "I don't think I will ever forget seeing Hotch and Dave hunkering down behind little snow forts, lobbing snowballs at each other."
"Like I said, epic." Handing Emily the beers, she picked up the tray of champagne glasses and they headed into the living room. "Alright, boys. Resolution time."
Dave gave her one of his classic looks. "I'm too old for those."
"Right," Emily agreed. "Old dogs, new tricks…"
His look turned into a glare, and Cara bit back a chuckle, turning to Hotch. "And you?"
His expression was pained. "Do I really look the type?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to her friend. "Fine. Emily?"
The brunette thought for a second. "It's going to sound vague, and cheesy, but...I'm going to stop running this year. And try to believe that good things can happen to me."
It may have sounded lighthearted, but everyone in the room knew the seriousness that lay behind those words. And they knew how much it had cost Emily to say them. Dave's mouth quirked up into a smile as Hotch nodded thoughtfully, and Cara smiled at her friend.
"Those sound like very good resolutions."
"And you?"
"This year..." Cara paused, trying to find the exact words. When they came, she couldn't help but grin wickedly and take a sip of her beer. "This year my demons can kiss my ass."
Emily was the first one with her bottle raised, but the others were quick to join in. "Here, here," Dave called. "Well said, kiddo."
"Ooh!" Emily exclaimed. "Thirty seconds. Switch to champagne."
She passed the glasses out quickly before perching on the arm of Dave's chair, everyone's attention on the big ball on the television. Cara let her eyes slide over to Hotch for just a moment, seeing the haunted thoughts lying just behind his expression. She hoped maybe his demons could take a hike this year as well, but she knew better than anyone that it was never an easy process.
The crowd on t.v. started chanting as the clock slid down, taking the ball with it. Emily and Cara's voices joined them, until the screen exploded in color and sound and the four of them turned to share a toast. After hugging Emily and Dave tightly, she went back to the couch and sat down beside Hotch, smiling at him warmly. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek.
"Happy New Year, Aaron," she said quietly.
He stared at her in surprise for a moment, but then something caught her eye, and her mouth dropped open. Hotch frowned, turning to look behind him.
Emily and Dave were still standing, though their champagne glasses were forgotten on the table behind them. They kissed slowly and softly, as though both were caught off-guard by the events, but unable to pull away. Cara leaned back and smiled at them for a moment before turning to Hotch.
"You're not going to be Mr. Mean Boss and rain on their parade, are you?"
Still watching them, Hotch thought about his answer. "I should," he said slowly.
"But?"
His eyes were pained as they turned back to her own. "Who am I to ruin someone else's happiness?" He shook his head. "I trust those two - if it becomes an issue, I'll deal with it then."
She couldn't help it - she leaned in and kissed his cheek again. "You're a good man, Aaron Hotchner."
"I'm getting soft in my old age," he grumbled.
Cara smirked. "Good."
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“Something smells incredibly good down here,” Hotch said as he made his way down the stairs.
Jack grinned from his step stool near the stove. “Grilled cheese and soup, Daddy!”
“Is there enough for me?”
“Of course, silly!”
Cara chuckled, shaking her head. “Tomato or clam chowder?”
His phone went off and he sighed. “Tomato, please. Hotchner.”
It was J.J. “We’ve got a case.”
There something in her voice, and he frowned, signaling for Cara to wait. “Is everything okay?”
She hesitated, and that told him more than any words could. “It’s a bad one, Hotch.”
He nodded. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
As he hung up, Cara gave him a sympathetic look. “There’s a wind chill of negative ten.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“More bad guys, Daddy?” Jack asked, looking up at his father with sad eyes.
Hotch nodded, squatting down so that he was eye level with his son. “Yeah. Sorry, buddy.”
“Can we make grilled cheese again when you get back?”
“Of course we can.” He reached out and hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”
He went over to the closet, bundling up with everything he could find. There was a suit in his go bag - it could wait until he was at the office. Bending down to pick it up, he was surprised to find a hot travel cup pressed into his hands.
“You can have the soup to go,” Cara said. “Be safe.”
Hotch nodded, giving her a small smile. “I’ll call when I can.”
They watched him walk out into the snow, almost disappearing before he’d even reached the car.
“We’ll pray for Daddy tonight, right?” Jack asked.
Cara nodded, ruffling his hair as she turned her attention back to the stove. “Absolutely.”