(no subject)

[ss_teph_765]

so i have come to the realization that this year is just full of one disapointment after another.
i honesty can say that this is by far the worst year of school i have ever had.
and hopefully nothing will ever come close to this again.
if i didnt have my friends in my life, i can bet you that i wouldnt be here right now. i would probably be in an institution or something.
i love them so much.
i drank a large coffee tonite at 9:00. im sure that this will keep me up way past my bed time.
i still cant get over how much i hate this year right now.
lets recap
-decision to quit swimming (worst thing i ever had to do)
-oboe auditions (big disapointment)
-sat practice tests= all below 1200 (bigger disapointment)
-winter track, try hard - no improvement.
-ap us, studystudystudy much more than anything ive ever studied before - no improvement
-spring track- getting replaced on my pride and joy "temporarily"= biggest disapointment yet.
-whats next? i dont even want to think about it.
i hate letting myself/people i care about down and i have no one to blame anymore but myself.