Title: Vanilla Twilight
Pairing: Santana/Brittany; Santana/Puck, Mike/Brittany
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Brittany’s stargazing in the arms of someone she loves and her mind takes her down memory lane.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Note: So this is a bit of a sequel to Juicebox and many of my readers insisted that I was leaving them hanging. Originally I wrote Juicebox to be left open-ended but my readers said otherwise, hence Vanilla Twilight [which also happens to be a song]. I was supposed to be focusing on Her but I started typing and this came out.
My Master Fic List It’s late at night, or early in the morning, and everyone’s passed out in the little apartment. The speakers are off, there’s several empty bottles lying around, and bodies scattered everywhere. A tall blonde makes her way across the maze of bodies and slides open the door towards the balcony. It’s a bit difficult with the poor lighting and she’s nearly knocked off balance when one of the figures on the floor shuffles unexpectedly into a better sleeping position.
The air outside is different from the air inside and she takes in a lungful of fresh air. She wraps her long arms around her body and shivers from the chilly breeze. The skies are clear for once, no signs of air pollution, just a dark blanket of nothingness with stars shining brightly in the midst of it. Her blue eyes look up at twinkling stars and an immense feeling of sadness and loneliness envelops her whole body.
Another breeze hits her and she shivers once again, though she doesn’t know if it’s more from the breeze itself or the thought of being alone. She stands there alone for a few more minutes before a pair of strong arms wrap around her torso and she leans back into the much warmer body. A chin is settled onto the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and the two watch the stars together.
The blonde rests her hands on top of the ones holding her and she releases a sigh when their fingers lace together. Their hands fit perfectly together and she can’t help but feel safe and warm in this embrace. It’s familiar and she knows she never has to be afraid. Her blue eyes stare up at the sky and a tear slowly rolls down her face before she closes her eyes, her mind taking her back to the place she often finds herself revisiting.
---
“That’s the big dipper, Papi showed it to me last night.”
They’re eight years old and lounging about in her backyard. Santana and her have been friends for a little over a year now and she’s always happy to have her best friend over. They’re lying on their backs and staring out into the clear night sky, the stars seemingly winking at them.
A tan hand retracts itself from pointing up at the sky and the blonde tilts her head in confusion, “San, I don’t get it.”
Little Santana crinkles her nose because this is the third time she’s tried to explain it to her best friend. She didn’t get it either when her papi first showed her the night before but she got it soon after he explained. Maybe she just wasn’t good at explaining anything to the blonde. She became quiet for some minutes before a thought came to mind.
“Remember that new coloring book you got?” Santana turns her head.
Blue eyes look into brown and she nods, “Yeah, the one where you connect the dots before you color.”
“How about we do that? Connect the dots with the stars and make stuff up on our own?”
The blonde cracked a smile, “That sounds like fun, San!”
They go back to staring up at the sky and try connecting the dots. Santana sees one that looks like a doughnut and they call that one “Homer’s Love”. She looks up and she sees one that could be the horn from a unicorn and decide on calling it “Charlie’s Horn”. The two girls continue their little game, coming up with constellations on their own and having a great time with it.
Santana points up once more and traces a group of stars in the far left corner, “We can name that one patito.”
The blonde grins widely because she remembers that Spanish word, “Duck?”
“Yeah, duck. You see it? It kind of looks like Daffy Duck.”
She looks up and squints her eyes before tilting her head at different angles, “I don’t see it San.”
The Latina girl lets out a sigh before tugging on her shirt, urging the blonde to come closer. She edges closer and silently places her head down on Santana’s shoulder, “Right there, you see it now?”
Santana looks down to her shoulder and smiles when her best friend snuggles even closer before looking up into the sky. Her blue eyes squint together before her face eases up when she recognizes the clusters of stars shape themselves into the form of a duck.
“I think I see the patito now, San!” she says before her eyes slowly begin to droop and she has to stifle a yawn. They’ve been out here for a while and had a busy day earlier so it’s no surprise when the blonde’s tiredness catches up to her. Santana looks down once more to see her best friend sleeping and can’t help but smile when she feels the familiar weight of an arm draped over her stomach.
---
She’s ten years old and standing outside on a balcony in a house of one of her many Dutch relatives in Amsterdam. Her soft blue eyes glance up at the sky and she’s looking at the constellations that she made with Santana. Homer’s love is missing but she smiles when she recognizes several they made up on a whim. A slight breeze picks up and she shivers a little bit but she doesn’t want to head inside quite yet.
The Dutch girl seems happy enough just star gazing until a familiar cluster of stars are within her sight. It’s “Patito” and he look like he’s on his side a bit but it doesn’t stop that feeling of sadness and loneliness erupt at the pit of her stomach. She knows she told Santana that she’d only be gone on vacation this summer and it shouldn’t be too long but now she’s beginning to regret her words. The blonde sniffles and heads inside, her eyes are watery and her parents look up in concern.
“You alright honey?”
She nods softly, “I’m okay daddy…it’s really cold outside. I’m gonna head to bed.”
Her parents look at each other before looking back at their daughter, “Would you like a juicebox before heading to bed?”
She shakes her head this time, feeling sick to her stomach because whenever Santana sleeps over they always have a juicebox before heading to bed. The little girl just wants to wrap herself up in some blankets and will this homesick feeling away. Turning away from her parents, she heads towards the guest room and climbs into bed, her arms firmly wrapped around a stuffed duck animal. She closes her eyes, the only thought in her head being that the sooner school comes and summer ends, the sooner she’ll be reunited with her best friend.
---
The cheerios were in Los Angeles for their cheer camp and this was where they shared their first kiss. They’re freshman and Coach Sylvester is brutal during practice. Everyone is happy that practice is over and can enjoy the beach and mall. She plays volleyball with her fellow cheerios but when the sun begins to set, several people want to head towards the mall. The beach is nearly empty but she feels thirsty so she gets a box of orange juice before looking for Santana.
Santana is sitting in the sand, her hands behind her, supporting her weight as she leans back. The Latina is wearing dark shorts and a tank top and her gaze is settled on the horizon. Her best friend is silent for a while before she turns her head and spots the blond approaching with juicebox in hand. A breathtaking smile covers her features when their gazes lock.
She plops down next to her best friend and takes a sip from her juicebox before handing it to Santana. Her eyes study Santana as her lips cover the straw and taking a sip herself. They’re both quiet and blushing and neither one doesn’t know if it’s from drinking from the same straw or the romantic setting they find themselves in. Santana is the one who leans in first and they share their first kiss.
Lips meet together and she’ll forever remember this because it feels like her and Santana are just meant to be. They pull back and their foreheads rest against one another before she pulls away to fill up a jar that she brought along. The jar is filled with sand and they share a smile, they’ll be able to take this memory home with them.
They remain at the beach and the moon has taken its spot in the sky. It’s dark and the stars twinkle in the sky. The moonlight hits the water causing a glow of its own and they decide to walk along the shore. Their hands are linked and they’re walking barefoot, the water hitting their feet as they walk. After a few minutes, they stop and stare up at the sky that are glittering, reminding her of a time she played with fireflies with her family and the countless time she’s gone stargazing with her best friend.
She smiles when she spots Patito up in the sky, “Hey San, look. It’s Patito.”
Santana smiles and turns towards her best friend, tugging on her hand and bringing the taller cheerleader close. The Latina’s hands rest themselves on gorgeous hips and the blonde brings her arms up around Santana’s shoulders. They’re pressed close together and their eyes slip close when they lean in to share another sweet kiss under the moonlight.
---
“I don’t get it San. Why not?” she asks in the middle of the corridor of McKinley High, a grape juicebox in hand.
She and Santana have been the happiest when they’re together but it’s always been about the image they had to uphold in public. They kiss, cuddle, snuggle, and everything that couples do behind closed doors but once they’re out of that confinement, they’re just best friends. It’s frustrating and it hurts having to watch Santana suck face with Puck.
“Babe, not right now,” the Latina says hastily before slamming her locker shut, surprising the both of them at how strong Santana shut it.
Once again, Santana brushes the topic aside but it’s not enough for the blonde. They’ve had this talk countless times but they never assess the situation. She quickly follows her girlfriend-behind-closed-doors as she walks down the hall, “I’m tired of hiding it. We’re seniors, smoking hot, and graduating at the end of the school year then heading to UCLA. What are you afraid of?”
They’ve been planning to go to UCLA together for such a long time now and they were seniors, it made no sense to be afraid of what would happen once their relationship was out in the open. Rachel was already giving them weird looks, Quinn was always smirking like she knew something, and Puck…Puck would get this look on his face that looked like he was turned on. His eyes would check her out in her cheerios uniform and he’d waggle his eyebrows suggestively after sucking face with Santana and nodding his head towards her best friend.
Santana stops walking for a bit and turns around to face the blonde, whispering loudly, “Brit, not so loud.”
She was getting tired of always dropping the subject and she stomped her foot on the ground with a grunt before throwing her half full juicebox at her. The purple stands out on the shorter girl’s red uniform and she hastily wipes at it, “B! Coach is gonna kill me if this stains.”
They’re talking about their relationship and all Santana can worry about is her damn uniform and what coach is going to do to her. She grabs the shorter girl by the shoulder and jabs her finger into her shoulder with every point that she makes, “Whatever, S. Everyone already knows about us and I’m sorry you don’t have the balls to admit it to the whole world you love me. We’re through. Talk to me when you’re done being a wuss and willing to take me back.”
It’s sad really, Santana has always been strong and fearless in her eyes but she knows what makes Santana tick. Being called anything that suggests she is a wuss or a crybaby because she is none of that. But Santana’s going to lose the one thing she is most afraid to lose…her.
It’s a shame really because Santana never does talk to her to take her back. Not the remaining months of high school. Not at graduation. Not even at the airport. Santana came to see her off when she left but never said “I love you” back. And it hurts her because she wishes things were different.
---
Another breeze blows through the balcony and she shivers once more. The arms around her waist pull her closer and a hand comes up to wipe the tear away, “You’re thinking about her again, aren’t you?”
“Is it bad if I do?”
A shake of the head, “No, but it’s been two days since you’ve had any sleep. I worry about you.”
“You always seem to be worrying about me Mike,” she leans back further into the Asian’s arms.
“She’d kick my ass if anything bad happened to you,” he responds in mirth.
She’s quiet for awhile, “I wish she’d have kicked everyone’s ass back in high school for me as my girlfriend…”
“Brittany…the group’s heading to the beach tomorrow so we should get some sleep,” Mike says gently, pulling her through the balcony doors and towards a warm bed.
When they hold hands, their fingers are laced together and it’s a perfect fit. When she’s in his arms; she feels the warmth, love and security she knows he’s been giving her all this time. He was the one who picked up the pieces and she’s never been more thankful for his support. Mike Chang has been a great friend through the years and he’s held her countless nights in his arms when she’s crying herself to sleep. They’re perfect together. But there is something he lacks. Mike Chang is not Santana Lopez. And Santana Lopez beats perfect any day.
A/N: Like I said, I was going to work on Her but this came out instead. The title was an inspiration from Vanilla Twilight by Owl City. It got added to my playlist some time ago when I downloaded a Brittana fanmix. I don’t remember who posted that fanmix but it gave me the inspiration and the ideas to write this.