"It's a very long story that I really don't feel like telling right now if you don't mind." Adette bit her lip to keep from crying, these people would have no sympathy for tears. But these tears where not tears for Yasuba, those would come later, and be lost into a shot glass.
" Long story short: He almost killed me once, Gainer saved my life that day. It was the day I left the railway and joined the Chalice. I liked to think he didn't mean to almost kill me that say, but.. this time he shot to kill, there was no doubt. But I broke his heart, and powerful men don't take 'no' very well."
"So, are we going to have to amputate Doc, or what?" Adette's feeble attempt at humor, even while everything hurt so much.
"Perhaps he is a person who has find out how to compartmentalise well, quiaff? Now that you are his enemy, when in mechs, you became one of many."
She continues to administer treatment. "Or, at that distance, it may be hard to attempt a non-killing shot. He simply fired at you." Ranna is tired, but not quite enough to show it, and her mind is still thinking of the many possibilities.
"Neg, it does not seem like there is any need to amputate," she smiles a little. Then returns to her work. No amputation may be needed, but still wounds to be treated.
"That is not is compartmentalization. It is...leading yourself into hypocrisy."
Resnick helps in whatever way he can, since their medical staff is short treating the number of injuries from the battle and the dome being stolen. Frostbite, mostly. The Railway had gambled on Adette at least turning back to help the civilians, and insisting her alien allies follow her.
"That is...leading yourself into hypocrisy."
He considered. 'Powerful men don't take 'no' very well.' He thought he'd handled it well enough but was likely to take it out on someone else once they got back to the Chalice.
"The injuries are minor at least." You know, the ones not on her heart, melodramatic as it may sound.
"I'll live." She pulled back her tears and took a deep breath.
"I always do." All at once the mask went back on, and though her voice trembled, her lips where turned in her trademark smirk. These people would never understand, it was pointless expecting them to.
Why couldn't he see that? It was they very reason she had to push him away. They would never understand each other, never. And what good was loving someone you could never understand.
"I saw this old movie once," She said to Resnick, hushing her voice only to show Ranna that this was meant for her. "a girl said 'A bird may love a fish, signore, but where would they live?'" With that she took her hand away from his arm, and gripped her own knee instead.
She turned back to Ranna now. "Thanks, by the way-ow-careful! Sorry, I mean, I know you're worn out too, and here you are babysitting me again. You guys gotten get tougher friends."
"Then I shall have to make you wings," Ranna quipped back, equally softly. Phelan had her watch quite a few old Terra vids with him to better understand some of the Inner Sphere culture. Or how those culture came to be.
She glanced back at Resnick, then shook her head with an amused smile as her voice went back to its normal volume, "We have tough friends already, quiaff?"
Adette pulled back, her eyes suddenly as cold the wind that howled outside. "Just stitch me back up. There's still work to do isn't there?"
She didn't like getting ganged up on. Adette wished they would stop, it was unfair, this constant shoving was driving her into a corner. Neither of them could understand what she was feeling, and the fact and they pretended to only made it all worse. And all the while she kept thinking how they must think she was so frail, after all, neither of them where full of holes.
Her heart beat loud in her chest, and heat rose up her neck. She hated this feeling, it was to much. Added with the blood loss she was starting to get woozy again and her eye lids fluttered for a moment. when she snapped back, and shook her head a little. Even still she had enough energy for snark it seemed.
"I've got my own peanut gallery already, and they're... and they're waiting on me."
That tone... Well, that follow up from Resnick came at a bad time.
Looked like her attempt at being, or at least appearing to be objective is not quite successful.
Ranna looked back up at Adette, her words for the other woman only. "I am not attempting to push the two of you together. If my attempt to indicate my knowledge of Terra's old vids were in err, then I apologise."
She finished up with the bandages, before doing some final checks to make sure there were no other injuries.
"I did not think that Ranna was..." Was she? No, even with that Kerensky Vision, she wouldn't care enough to meddle in the lives of her subordinates that much.
He glanced at his clanmate with a 'I do not understand her ways' expression.
"We all need rest." He stood a moment, swayed, stumbled, got to balance. "Tomorrow then. Even though it is unlikely another attack will come so soon, I am posting extra guards and patrols and the locals will help us now." He had abruptly retreated into his all-business personality too, to keep from getting burned.
Again Adette told herself, it was better this way. This wasn't a fairy tale, this was reality, and no matter what you build, a fish and a bird would never love each other, despite how they might admire each other from a far. Fundamentally, they where simply to different.
" I know you're trying to be kind." She said to Ranna after Resnick was gone. "But please don't." Adette shook her head. When Ranna was done, Adette pulled the over sized coat around herself again, feeling safer in the jacket. It was ironic since it was one of their uniform jacket. " I was almost killed by an ex lover today, and I left a broken heart back on the Chalice to come here. The last thing I need is to take another heart to break. That should be enough."
She realized then, someone was going to have to walk her back to where her little squad was camped for the night. Getting back to her home dome would be to hard with the blizzard, and tracks out.
Ranna nodded, before a wry smile suddenly graced her face. "I was trying to be kind, in a way. I know not of how it will turn out between the both of you. I do not have any preference, to be honest. I just wish that what was festering could be cleared out. Both of you are my friends and comrades after all."
She tilted her head at the door as she moved besides Adette.
"To your peanut gallery?"
She was actually looking forward to the outside again, despite the blizzard.
"I've already said my piece to him. Whatever is festering is because Resnick doesn't understand how to take 'no' for an answer." Adette got to her feet carefully.
"I would appreciate it very much. Don't take it personally, but I don't belong here with you guys."
Ranna stayed close, but did not make any move to help Adette walk unless it seemed like she needed it. "He is tenacious enough, aff."
She did not respond immediately to the second sentence, but did sighed almost relaxingly as the exited the sheltered comfort of the medical facility and out in the blizzard, taking in the wind and the snow.
"I think the better way to phrase it is that we do not belong here. I believe the Great Father's decision to take the Star League Defense Force into exile was correct, though it created a certain... disconnect. I wonder if that is part of how the Warden philosophy came up?" Ranna shook her head with a sombre smile. "My apologies, that was rambling, quiaff?
I just want to clarify that if it seems like I have been attempting to get you to join Clan Wolf, that was not my intention. I just wanted to give examples of how we could co-exist, even if abeit awkwardly."
There was a sudden gust of wind, and Ranna seemingly skipped in her steps. It seemed that she was enjoying the blizzard, some how.
"It's alright, really. I feel like I've been the one talking to much today." The cold wind barely affected Adette, this was her home, and she was acclimated to. But the wind was no colder than her heart right now, so it seemed appropriate that they should be out in it. Although the elemental sized jacket she had over her shoulder was definitely helping to keep the cold of her wounds.
"Awkwardly being the keyword here." Adette wished she could think of some way to make them understand. "And even if I did join you, what would I be? A delicate drawback? A fish with wings? I cannot breath the air you do. And I can't live the way you do no more than you could suddenly become like me. I appreciate that you're trying to do, please don't get me wrong. I like you alot, and I don't usually like other women." Adette didn't fail to see her sashay of joy, but it only made her feel more distance and angry.
"But I just want to go home. But I have no idea where that is anymore."
By Kerensky's Ghost, this IS Terra. She had spent most of her time on the White Chalice - this was the first time she could really enjoy the outdoor environment here.
"I am not asking you to live with us, quiaff? Neighbours, perhaps, when my Clan built our city here in Siberia. I believe that was our original plan when we took flight to the Inner Sphere. The amount of non-Warrior castes members we are moving is simply too big otherwise. We will maintain a seperate city, but stay open to trade and travelers. Plans will likely change due to this being Terra... but we can still trade with the Domes here."
She gestured at the night sky. Moments like this caused the fact to sink in - This is truly Terra. Ranna then smiled at the other woman. "I like you alot too, though I do not have other quantifiers for that."
"What of the peanut gallery? Do you consider a place with them to be home?"
It was funny how she kept using that expression, did she even know what it meant? "With those three? Ha. No, they're just gullible idiots dumb enough to follow big sis' to the ends of the earth. But their devotion is to the woman who looks just like me, but isn't me at all. They're just... a convenient crutch." There was no point making a facade of it, she didn't have the energy to make up grandiose stories that made her look better than she was. " Though I can't lie, I'm looking forward to having them around again. If nothing else, they're the armor I wear to protect myself from this feeling in my chest." Adette felt like a Debbie Downer next to the elation Ranna was exuding all over the place, but right now, of all times, felt like the right time to be depressed.
"When do you think... we'll be able to get back to the Chalice?" I have some business I have to attend to.
"It's a very long story that I really don't feel like telling right now if you don't mind." Adette bit her lip to keep from crying, these people would have no sympathy for tears. But these tears where not tears for Yasuba, those would come later, and be lost into a shot glass.
" Long story short: He almost killed me once, Gainer saved my life that day. It was the day I left the railway and joined the Chalice. I liked to think he didn't mean to almost kill me that say, but.. this time he shot to kill, there was no doubt. But I broke his heart, and powerful men don't take 'no' very well."
"So, are we going to have to amputate Doc, or what?" Adette's feeble attempt at humor, even while everything hurt so much.
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She continues to administer treatment. "Or, at that distance, it may be hard to attempt a non-killing shot. He simply fired at you." Ranna is tired, but not quite enough to show it, and her mind is still thinking of the many possibilities.
"Neg, it does not seem like there is any need to amputate," she smiles a little. Then returns to her work. No amputation may be needed, but still wounds to be treated.
Reply
Resnick helps in whatever way he can, since their medical staff is short treating the number of injuries from the battle and the dome being stolen. Frostbite, mostly. The Railway had gambled on Adette at least turning back to help the civilians, and insisting her alien allies follow her.
"That is...leading yourself into hypocrisy."
He considered. 'Powerful men don't take 'no' very well.' He thought he'd handled it well enough but was likely to take it out on someone else once they got back to the Chalice.
"The injuries are minor at least." You know, the ones not on her heart, melodramatic as it may sound.
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"I'll live." She pulled back her tears and took a deep breath.
"I always do." All at once the mask went back on, and though her voice trembled, her lips where turned in her trademark smirk.
These people would never understand, it was pointless expecting them to.
Why couldn't he see that? It was they very reason she had to push him away. They would never understand each other, never. And what good was loving someone you could never understand.
"I saw this old movie once," She said to Resnick, hushing her voice only to show Ranna that this was meant for her. "a girl said 'A bird may love a fish, signore, but where would they live?'" With that she took her hand away from his arm, and gripped her own knee instead.
She turned back to Ranna now.
"Thanks, by the way-ow-careful! Sorry, I mean, I know you're worn out too, and here you are babysitting me again. You guys gotten get tougher friends."
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She glanced back at Resnick, then shook her head with an amused smile as her voice went back to its normal volume, "We have tough friends already, quiaff?"
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"Aff."
He reached out to clasp her shoulder. Perhaps she'd pull away from him again, but this time he wouldn't storm off, he told himself.
"You are our trothkin. It is not a burden for us to...support you." The words felt strange coming from his mouth, words he hadn't said for some time.
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Adette pulled back, her eyes suddenly as cold the wind that howled outside. "Just stitch me back up. There's still work to do isn't there?"
She didn't like getting ganged up on.
Adette wished they would stop, it was unfair, this constant shoving was driving her into a corner. Neither of them could understand what she was feeling, and the fact and they pretended to only made it all worse. And all the while she kept thinking how they must think she was so frail, after all, neither of them where full of holes.
Her heart beat loud in her chest, and heat rose up her neck. She hated this feeling, it was to much. Added with the blood loss she was starting to get woozy again and her eye lids fluttered for a moment. when she snapped back, and shook her head a little. Even still she had enough energy for snark it seemed.
"I've got my own peanut gallery already, and they're... and they're waiting on me."
Reply
Looked like her attempt at being, or at least appearing to be objective is not quite successful.
Ranna looked back up at Adette, her words for the other woman only. "I am not attempting to push the two of you together. If my attempt to indicate my knowledge of Terra's old vids were in err, then I apologise."
She finished up with the bandages, before doing some final checks to make sure there were no other injuries.
Reply
He glanced at his clanmate with a 'I do not understand her ways' expression.
"We all need rest." He stood a moment, swayed, stumbled, got to balance. "Tomorrow then. Even though it is unlikely another attack will come so soon, I am posting extra guards and patrols and the locals will help us now." He had abruptly retreated into his all-business personality too, to keep from getting burned.
Reply
Again Adette told herself, it was better this way. This wasn't a fairy tale, this was reality, and no matter what you build, a fish and a bird would never love each other, despite how they might admire each other from a far.
Fundamentally, they where simply to different.
" I know you're trying to be kind." She said to Ranna after Resnick was gone. "But please don't." Adette shook her head.
When Ranna was done, Adette pulled the over sized coat around herself again, feeling safer in the jacket. It was ironic since it was one of their uniform jacket.
" I was almost killed by an ex lover today, and I left a broken heart back on the Chalice to come here. The last thing I need is to take another heart to break. That should be enough."
She realized then, someone was going to have to walk her back to where her little squad was camped for the night. Getting back to her home dome would be to hard with the blizzard, and tracks out.
Reply
She tilted her head at the door as she moved besides Adette.
"To your peanut gallery?"
She was actually looking forward to the outside again, despite the blizzard.
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"I've already said my piece to him. Whatever is festering is because Resnick doesn't understand how to take 'no' for an answer." Adette got to her feet carefully.
"I would appreciate it very much. Don't take it personally, but I don't belong here with you guys."
Reply
She did not respond immediately to the second sentence, but did sighed almost relaxingly as the exited the sheltered comfort of the medical facility and out in the blizzard, taking in the wind and the snow.
"I think the better way to phrase it is that we do not belong here. I believe the Great Father's decision to take the Star League Defense Force into exile was correct, though it created a certain... disconnect. I wonder if that is part of how the Warden philosophy came up?" Ranna shook her head with a sombre smile. "My apologies, that was rambling, quiaff?
I just want to clarify that if it seems like I have been attempting to get you to join Clan Wolf, that was not my intention. I just wanted to give examples of how we could co-exist, even if abeit awkwardly."
There was a sudden gust of wind, and Ranna seemingly skipped in her steps. It seemed that she was enjoying the blizzard, some how.
Reply
"It's alright, really. I feel like I've been the one talking to much today." The cold wind barely affected Adette, this was her home, and she was acclimated to. But the wind was no colder than her heart right now, so it seemed appropriate that they should be out in it. Although the elemental sized jacket she had over her shoulder was definitely helping to keep the cold of her wounds.
"Awkwardly being the keyword here." Adette wished she could think of some way to make them understand. "And even if I did join you, what would I be? A delicate drawback? A fish with wings? I cannot breath the air you do. And I can't live the way you do no more than you could suddenly become like me. I appreciate that you're trying to do, please don't get me wrong. I like you alot, and I don't usually like other women." Adette didn't fail to see her sashay of joy, but it only made her feel more distance and angry.
"But I just want to go home. But I have no idea where that is anymore."
Reply
"I am not asking you to live with us, quiaff? Neighbours, perhaps, when my Clan built our city here in Siberia. I believe that was our original plan when we took flight to the Inner Sphere. The amount of non-Warrior castes members we are moving is simply too big otherwise. We will maintain a seperate city, but stay open to trade and travelers. Plans will likely change due to this being Terra... but we can still trade with the Domes here."
She gestured at the night sky. Moments like this caused the fact to sink in - This is truly Terra. Ranna then smiled at the other woman. "I like you alot too, though I do not have other quantifiers for that."
"What of the peanut gallery? Do you consider a place with them to be home?"
Reply
It was funny how she kept using that expression, did she even know what it meant?
"With those three? Ha. No, they're just gullible idiots dumb enough to follow big sis' to the ends of the earth. But their devotion is to the woman who looks just like me, but isn't me at all. They're just... a convenient crutch." There was no point making a facade of it, she didn't have the energy to make up grandiose stories that made her look better than she was. " Though I can't lie, I'm looking forward to having them around again. If nothing else, they're the armor I wear to protect myself from this feeling in my chest."
Adette felt like a Debbie Downer next to the elation Ranna was exuding all over the place, but right now, of all times, felt like the right time to be depressed.
"When do you think... we'll be able to get back to the Chalice?" I have some business I have to attend to.
Reply
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