[The computer takes a moment, then displays a large sheet.]
INITIAL DIAGNOSIS_
RANK 21 ALEXEI SORAS SUFFERED A LARGE CEREBRAL HEMORRHAGE DUE TO INCREASED PSYCHIC ACTIVITY. EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO THE FRONTAL LOBE AND GREY MATTER. THREE (3) PINTS BLOOD LOSS. RESPIRATORY SYSTEM FAILURE. BRAIN DEATH OCCURRED AT 12:42 AM._
ONLY TWO TIMES HAS THIS ONE SEEN "Kamille Bidan" HAVE AN OUTBURST, THOUGH NOT ON THIS LEVEL. PSYCHIC STRESS HAS BEEN PREVALENT SINCE NEWTYPES HAVE STARTED SERVING ON THE SHIP EN MASSE. THIS MASSIVE PSYCHIC BURST WAS UNANTICIPATED._
I like to think myself as a teenager with issues thrust into the role of a soldier trying to face my friends only to be confronted by my own shortcomings as a human being. ['Hello, Kurokawa.'] Talking to Wahrheit?
The only reason I don't have a bullet in my head right now is because the people of this ship like to think themselves as good people, when they can in fact be quite cruel with their kindness. I'd honestly prefer it if someone would actually hit me for this or something, but they'd rather I suffer from the grief. ['I get the point, Kurokawa.']
(Suddenly Seiren lashes out and decks Kamille in the face. HARD. Kamille will also see the gleam of anger in Seiren's eyes.)
I may not be able to give you a proper punishment as my authority is over the PreDesus. But I will tell you this Bidan, I have a very low opinion of you now.
As it-[spits out a bit of blood.]-happens, your opinion of me is still higher than my own opinion of myself. [Seiren may see a certain hollow quality to Kamille's eyes, as well as a good bit of dispair.]
Thank you, for giving me what I wanted. [he exits without much ceremony. He's not doing well at all mentally.]
(Kamille suddenly feels a frightful presence as a hand grabs his shoulder and he is violently pulled back and forced to look Seiren in the face. She is very angry about this.)
What makes you think we are done here? I may note be able to order you but I'm sure as hell not letting you slink away from this like a coward. I have seen nothing but trouble from you since I have gotten on this ship and I am putting an end to it. Now...Why did you do this to Soras? What made you lose control?
[Put an end to it? REALLY? He matches your anger with a mix of fury, emptiness, and utter despair.] You want to put an end to the trouble I cause? Then you might as well just ensure that I have no further contact with anyone on this ship from this point forward. This happened because for all I wanted to help Haruka Amami, for all I wanted to help Ichitaka Nagumo, for all I wanted to help Julia, and Maya, and Perrine, I couldn't! I either could do nothing at all, or I just got angry and ruined my relationship with people! I'm a failure as a newtype, and all I can do is hurt my friends, that's why this happened! I have no friends anymore! I'm a miserable, lonely, pitiful excuse for a human being! That's why this happened! I snapped at him, and I killed him, just because he said things that pissed me off! THAT'S WHY HE'S DEAD RIGHT NOW! THAT'S WHY I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
(Congratulations Kamille! You get another punch to the face! As Kamille starts to go down he is forced back up back Seiren whose eyes that held anger are now dead.)
That is your answer then? Instead of trying to learn from your mistakes and grow, you just are giving up? You disgust me. Don't try to make me pity you. It won't work. I have also failed people. I have killed my friend and hurt every person that ever got close to me...But you aren't me. You have more than I ever had Bidan. You have friends that worry about you. If you didn't people would have killed you for this by now.
Then what the hell is it I'm supposed to do? Am I supposed to feel happy that I'm getting off so light? Am I supposed to be joyful that my peers hate me now instead of wanting to kill me on sight?! Am I supposed to be happy that the closest thing I've ever had to a REAL mother despises me for what I've done today?!
I wasn't expecting to see something like this.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?_
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INITIAL DIAGNOSIS_
RANK 21 ALEXEI SORAS SUFFERED A LARGE CEREBRAL HEMORRHAGE DUE TO INCREASED PSYCHIC ACTIVITY. EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO THE FRONTAL LOBE AND GREY MATTER. THREE (3) PINTS BLOOD LOSS. RESPIRATORY SYSTEM FAILURE. BRAIN DEATH OCCURRED AT 12:42 AM._
EXPECTED RECOVERY TIME: 18 HOURS. 32 MINUTES. 02 SECONDS._
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DO YOU KNOW THE SOURCE OF THE PSYCHIC ACTIVITY?_
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...Bidan...
DOES BIDAN NORMALLY HAVE OUTBURSTS LIKE THESE?_
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Tch. Seems like Bidan is a loose canon.
WHAT PROVOKED BIDAN TO USE THE BURST OF PSYCHIC ENERGY?_
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I hope that you understand the amount of damage you caused to Soras...you killed him...It is nothing short of a miracle that he can be revived.
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(Suddenly Seiren lashes out and decks Kamille in the face. HARD. Kamille will also see the gleam of anger in Seiren's eyes.)
I may not be able to give you a proper punishment as my authority is over the PreDesus. But I will tell you this Bidan, I have a very low opinion of you now.
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As it-[spits out a bit of blood.]-happens, your opinion of me is still higher than my own opinion of myself. [Seiren may see a certain hollow quality to Kamille's eyes, as well as a good bit of dispair.]
Thank you, for giving me what I wanted. [he exits without much ceremony. He's not doing well at all mentally.]
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What makes you think we are done here? I may note be able to order you but I'm sure as hell not letting you slink away from this like a coward. I have seen nothing but trouble from you since I have gotten on this ship and I am putting an end to it. Now...Why did you do this to Soras? What made you lose control?
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You want to put an end to the trouble I cause? Then you might as well just ensure that I have no further contact with anyone on this ship from this point forward. This happened because for all I wanted to help Haruka Amami, for all I wanted to help Ichitaka Nagumo, for all I wanted to help Julia, and Maya, and Perrine, I couldn't! I either could do nothing at all, or I just got angry and ruined my relationship with people! I'm a failure as a newtype, and all I can do is hurt my friends, that's why this happened! I have no friends anymore! I'm a miserable, lonely, pitiful excuse for a human being! That's why this happened! I snapped at him, and I killed him, just because he said things that pissed me off! THAT'S WHY HE'S DEAD RIGHT NOW! THAT'S WHY I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
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That is your answer then? Instead of trying to learn from your mistakes and grow, you just are giving up? You disgust me. Don't try to make me pity you. It won't work. I have also failed people. I have killed my friend and hurt every person that ever got close to me...But you aren't me. You have more than I ever had Bidan. You have friends that worry about you. If you didn't people would have killed you for this by now.
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