(no subject)
I think I was doing too much bragging about how great my life was going. Things are still awesome with Jeff. I enjoy him more and more and it seems to be the same for him. The issue is now school. This ridiculous trial team competition has taken over my entire life. All of my free time goes to it. And that wouldn't be a problem if we weren't constantly being told how much we suck and how we aren't putting in enough time working on this stuff and how if we want to go to Alabama and embarrass ourselves, then we can. Who said I wanted to go to Alabama???
The last 3 days have been AWFUL. And today, I had a complete breakdown in the middle of practice. In the middle of going over a direct, I couldn't take it, said I needed a break and that I didn't want to do this anymore, and went outside and cried. What finally brought me around was saying the Remover of Difficulties, and then I went inside....and sat around for an hour, waiting to finish what I had stopped, only to find out that we're working on it tomorrow. Awesome.
AND THEN, because I have Persian guilt, I SENT AN APOLOGY EMAIL!!!!! I mean, in the email I said that I am not enjoying the experience, and that I am not the kind of person who works harder when yelled at, but I apologized for my behavior. This is simply getting ridiculous.
A lot of this would be so much better if Jeff lived somewhere nearby and I could go get a hug. Or at least in the same time zone so I could call him.
Stupid ocean.
The last 3 days have been AWFUL. And today, I had a complete breakdown in the middle of practice. In the middle of going over a direct, I couldn't take it, said I needed a break and that I didn't want to do this anymore, and went outside and cried. What finally brought me around was saying the Remover of Difficulties, and then I went inside....and sat around for an hour, waiting to finish what I had stopped, only to find out that we're working on it tomorrow. Awesome.
AND THEN, because I have Persian guilt, I SENT AN APOLOGY EMAIL!!!!! I mean, in the email I said that I am not enjoying the experience, and that I am not the kind of person who works harder when yelled at, but I apologized for my behavior. This is simply getting ridiculous.
A lot of this would be so much better if Jeff lived somewhere nearby and I could go get a hug. Or at least in the same time zone so I could call him.
Stupid ocean.