Lumos; Chapter Four
The Great Hall buzzed with conversation, students and staff alike taking the time during supper to catch up on the day’s activities and enjoying the downtime inside the toasty walls of the hall. Snow continued to fall steadily outside, blanketing the entire school in a fine layer of white. Reid had loved snow as a child, as most children do, but hadn’t found himself feeling quiet the same as an adult. He would take it, however, over the miserable rain that would no doubt take its place in a few months.
“Ah!” exclaimed Dervis, head bent toward the enchanted ceiling. Reid followed his gaze long enough to spy a handful of owls carrying the evening mail. A copy of the day’s Evening Prophet landed on the table in front of Dervis. Before Luke fell a simple letter with the Ministry of Magic seal on the back. No one seemed to notice or mind him, curiously looking over Dervis’ shoulder at the front cover of the Prophet.
In large capital letters across the top of the paper were the words, ‘Grimaldi Case Losing Steam’. Beneath the headline was a large picture of a handsome older man with neatly combed black hair and sparkling gray eyes. He looked into the camera a moment, as if looking directly at the reader, before turning his head away with a smirk. He wore traditional Azkaban garments of black and white stripes, and was clearly being led from a court room within the Ministry.
“Listen to this, ‘Damian Grimaldi, the suspected Death Eater leader who was imprisoned in June 1997, just after Lord Voldemort’s fall, was finally brought to trial last November. However, the case against him as been deemed weak from the start and seems to only be unraveling with each passing hearing. New information given to the Department for Magical Law Enforcement last month seemed promising, but Head Auror Margo Hughes says she is concerned that it may not be enough. Our sources within the department tell us that the information was anonymously given, though many suspect it to be from none other than Grimaldi’s own son, Luciano Grimaldi.’”
A goblet fell forward onto the table, the little bit of pumpkin juice still inside spilling onto the floor. Reid, Dervis and Katie all turned to Luke, who was suddenly rather pale and clutching the open letter in his hand a little too tightly.
“Are you okay?” Reid asked quietly, reaching a hand beneath the table to touch Luke’s elbow. Luke pulled away.
“Fine, fine,” said Luke abruptly. “Must have ate something funny, I’m not feeling well.” Without another wore Luke stood, shoving the letter into the inner pocket of his robe and unceremoniously shoved his chair back and left the table, disappearing through the staff door at the front of the hall.
“Is he okay?” asked Katie.
Reid hesitated, still watching the door through which Luke had left, before nodding carefully.
“Just feeling ill,” he said, turning back to them. “Sorry, continue.”
Dervis nodded. “’Many of those working on the Grimaldi case believe that the evidence they now possess could be more than enough to put Grimaldi away for the rest of his life. However, without the direct testimony of Luciano Grimaldi, aurors have no way of proving that the information is accurate. Aurors believe that Luciano Grimaldi will not come forward for fear of being brought to trial himself on accusations that he assisted Damian Grimaldi and other Death Eaters during the war.’”
Dervis slumped, dropping the paper onto the table.
“Bastard was one of the worse out there, and he’s gonna slip away.”
“My sister will figure something out,” said Katie desperately. “She always does. And Tom, too. They’ve got good people in their departments; they won’t let him get away with what he did. Right, Reid?”
Reid turned to Katie, blinking twice before speaking.
“Of course,” he said half-heartedly as he pushed back his chair. He gathered his robe in his hand as he stood, throwing it behind him and leaving the table without warning, following the same path by which Luke had left. He heard Dervis call after him only once, but didn’t turn back.
*
Reid felt a little ridiculous chasing Luke down like this, but he couldn’t stop himself. The anguish on Luke’s face before he left the table had been more than that of someone who felt a little under the weather. There was fear and pain in his eyes, and though Reid could have rolled his own eyes for having recognized such things, he was more concerned with making absolutely certain that Luke was alright.
The walk from the Great Hall to the staff wing wasn’t very long, something he’d often envied Dervis about in comparison to his own hike to the Ravenclaw tower. The corridor was dimly lit and eerily quiet, even for Hogwarts. Nothing moved, nothing made a sound - and then Reid heard it. A soft sob, an angry grunt and the harsh sound of wooden chair legs on stone floor. He knew Luke’s room without even thinking about it, spending many evenings in the small quarters over the past few weeks. Never before, though, had he been nervous to approach that wooden door. Until now.
It wasn’t completely closed, probably bouncing back in Luke’s rush to simply escape. Reid crept toward the entrance, scooping his robe into his arm to keep it from making any noise as it dragged along the ground. The door was cracked, a sliver of light falling onto the floor outside. Reid peered in anxiously.
Luke sat at his desk, his elbows on the table and his hands supporting the weight of his head. A few books and quills were strewn messily across the floor, no doubt shoved aside in Luke’s unexplainable anger. Reid frowned, debating what to do next. A part of him knew that he should walk away - after all, if he were in a state such as Luke was now, he would not tolerate being disturbed. However, that pulling feeling he always had around Luke, the desire to fix and heal as only he could, was stronger than his logic. That idea alone was actually quite terrifying.
Gathering up his strength, Reid dropped the hem of his robe back to the ground and pushed the door open, stepping forward heavily to make a little noise so Luke would notice him.
At first Reid wasn’t sure if it had worked; Luke didn’t budge even as Reid fully entered the room, shutting the door behind him.
“I’m fine,” Luke said after a moment, his voice shaking.
“Of course you are,” Reid frowned. He sighed, shrugging back his shoulders and letting his heavy robe fall off of his arms. He laid it across the small chair near the door where Luke’s own robe sat bundled on the cushion. He began to unbutton the cuffs of his sleeves, rolling them up as he continued to speak. “Because it’s perfectly normal for people who are fine to storm off in the middle of supper and throw things around their bedroom.”
“Piss off,” growled Luke.
“You know I don’t scare that easily, Snyder,” said Reid, his voice low, somehow mocking and soothing at the same time. Luke sighed heavily, tightly shutting his eyes. Reid moved closer and crouched beside him.
“I don’t expect you to tell me what’s turned you into such a pain in the ass,” he said, somehow sounding amazingly charming for such harsh words.
Luke nodded, his lips pursing tighter. Reid reached out, his hand finding the small of Luke’s back. Luke appeared to relax, his shoulders slumping a little as he inhaled deeply, fingers tugging at the long sleeves of his shirt, a habit of comfort Reid had come to notice.
“Just answer me one thing,” said Reid. Luke inhaled again and turned to Reid, nodding. “Are you alright? Really alright? Or are you just trying to get me to drop this?”
Luke sighed, looking away.
“Ah, no,” insisted Reid, reaching out to cup Luke’s chin between two fingers, turning his face toward him. “Answer me.”
“Do you want the truth?” Luke asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“I just want you to drop this.”
There was a pause and Reid nodded.
“Alright. I’ll drop it,” he said, staring Luke in the eyes. “For now.”
Luke let out a shaky sigh, apparently of relief. “Thank you.”
There was silence, but Reid didn’t move his hands from Luke’s face, and Luke didn’t seem to want him to. An intense look passed between them, Reid searching Luke’s vulnerable eyes that were typically an open book for some clue as to what was going on; there was nothing, and that terrified him. His jaw clenched as he tried to force down the frustration, intent on honoring his promise to drop whatever was going on for the time being. It wasn’t easy, though, he realized quickly. He needed to distract himself - and what better distraction than the man in front of him?
He moved quickly, knowing by now that he could be eager and demanding without scaring Luke off. Without even thinking it through, his lips were on Luke’s, crashing violently against them. Luke let out a soft whimper, the chair sliding back a little under their combined weight, but he didn’t object, his lips suddenly moving just as eagerly against Reid’s.
Reid pressed a hand against Luke’s hip, the other tangled in his long blond hair, holding him in place. It was clear who was in control, though it was equally clear that Luke had no intention of being submissive. He reached for Reid, pulling him down with such a hard tug that he nearly fell into Luke. The kiss broke long enough for them to cling to each other and catch their breath, foreheads pressed together and eyes closed. Words were nonexistent.
Together they scrambled to their feet, knocking another book or two off of the desk as Reid backed Luke against the edge, both hands now holding onto his waist. Luke held Reid’s face between his hands, looping an arm behind his neck. A moment later they spun around, Luke back to the four-poster bed, Reid swiftly walking him backwards.
They fell onto the linens with a thud - there was nothing sweet about this moment. It was filled with the pent up frustrations and fears both men had felt for weeks, both with each other and toward the rest of the world, though neither quite knew the extent of those feelings. Luke pulled Reid down on top of him, raising his hips desperately to meet Reid’s. Reid didn’t need to be told twice, though, pressing all of his weight into Luke, pinning him to the sheets.
Reid tore his mouth away from Luke’s, crawling down the bed and stopping when he was staring at Luke’s stomach. He pushed up the black fabric of his sweater, exposing the pale skin beneath. He kissed the skin there, causing Luke to squirm. Reid’s hands wandered the rest of his torso, feeling his muscles ripple with each touch. He continued to kiss his way up, kissing and sucking on the warm flesh. He pushed the sweater further and further up until he finally exposed Luke’s chest, his nipples hard and dark. He paid them special attention, teasing the one with his teeth, making Luke cry out quietly. He soothed it with his tongue, leaving kisses around it before moving onto the next and giving it the same treatment.
Luke squirmed beneath him, pressing against him in all the right places. Reid kissed the spot just above Luke’s heart before sitting up on his arms and then on his knees, pulling Luke up with him until he was effectively sitting in Luke’s lap, long legs wrapped around his waist. He gripped the hem of Luke’s shirt, pulling it up and over his arms and head in a few quick tugs. As soon as it was gone, their mouths reconnected, Luke’s arms encircling Reid’s neck. But Reid had other plans.
Pushing down, Reid pinned Luke to the sheets again, lips never breaking apart. He held Luke by the wrists, bringing both arms up and to the sides, effectively restraining him. In need of air, Reid pulled away, resting his head against Luke’s, kissing his cheek, his jaw, his neck, his shoulder…
And then he froze.
*
“Reid,” cried Luke, whimpering a little at the sudden lack of movement. Realizing something was wrong, though, he lifted his head. “Reid, what is it?”
Immediately he knew the answer. Reid’s eyes were not on Luke’s face, instead looking at another part of his body - his arm. As soon as Luke realized where Reid was looking, he panicked, moving quickly and forcefully beneath a frozen Reid. It wasn’t hard to push his way out, for Reid had launched himself backwards on the bed - away from Luke, still staring at his arm. Luke reached for his shirt, but Reid was faster, grabbing it and tossing it away before grabbing Luke’s arm instead.
Luke let out a small yell, his skin burning from the tight grip Reid had on him. He tried to tug it away, but it was no use.
“Reid, please,” Luke begged. Reid was still staring at his arm. “Just listen to me.”
Reid’s eyes snapped up, locking on Luke’s.
“Reid…” said Luke quietly, reaching for Reid with his free arm. Reid moved away, crawling completely off the bed. He turned his back to Luke, running a hand over his curly hair, shoulders tense.
Luke made his way to his feet, walking slowly toward Reid. He reached out again, putting a hand on Reid’s shoulder cautiously. “Please, just let me explain.”
Reid spun so fast that Luke gasped, eyes wide with fear as Reid once again took a hold of him by the wrist, pulling Luke forward.
“Explain? You think you can explain this?” Reid yelled angrily. “You have the Dark Mark, Luke!” Reid shoved Luke away, causing the blond to stumble back a few steps.
“It’s not what you think-“
“Oh really? Not what I think? Because I think you have the symbol worn only by those loyal to Voldemort, those who sided with him during the war, those who killed and destroyed in his name!”
“No!” shouted Luke desperately. “Reid, please, you have to believe me.”
“I can’t do this,” said Reid, lowering his voice though it still shook threateningly. Luke moved forward again. “Don’t - don’t touch me,” he warned. Luke froze this time, eyes wide and damp as he watched Reid collect his robe, not even bothering to put it on before storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
*
“Aaargh!” Reid screamed violently into the night sky, startling a few owls that had perched on the roof of the tower. He shrew his robe, which he still had not pulled on, into the corner by a couple of broken telescopes. There wasn’t much wind but the air was still bitterly cold as it swirled around the tower, weaving through windows and over the open landing.
The sky was dark and covered in gray clouds. The moon and the stars were hidden, giving no light. Reid managed to wave his wand, lighting some of the torches along the landing’s edge, offering just enough light to see his own fists as he smashed them against the stone ledge. He hissed at the sudden pain, but didn’t move, the uneven stone digging into his skin. Reid leaned over, pressing his forehead against his hands, every muscle in his body tense.
All he could see were his parents and his sister, all taken from him by the cruelest of human beings. He could remember being called to Dumbledore’s office and just knowing. Students were being called down every day, and it was never good news. His own visit was no exception. Both parents, gone. His uncle had done his best to care for Reid and Arnya after that, but it wasn’t the same. Years later when Arnya had disappeared, Reid had felt it, the hole in his chest, and he knew he’d lost her, too.
And now he’d lost Luke. While he knew it wasn’t the same, he still felt that hole forming in his chest, that same anger and resentment towards the followers that had taken his family, and had now stolen Luke from him.
He could feel the rage building inside of him as he looked back on each moment with Luke, each lie. His lungs felt smaller, his chest tight and his heart racing. He screamed again into the night, pushing his fists harder into the stone.
“Reid.”
He stood up and spun so quickly that his head ached and his vision became blurry, but he could see well enough to recognize the messy blond hair, the strong shoulders and the tall frame of the man before him. He realized there must have been anger on his face, for Luke suddenly looked frightened, raising his hands a little as if to signal that he wasn’t going to hurt him.
Shallow breaths escaped his lips, his body trying desperately to control itself and deliver oxygen to his lungs.
“I just want to talk,” Luke continued, cautiously taking a step closer. The flames from the torches danced on his cheek. Reid could see tear stains streaked down his face. “Please.”
Reid shook his head, careful not to move too fast this time.
“I can’t hear it, Luke,” he said, his voice cracking as he spoke Luke’s name. “I can’t hear more of your lies.”
“They’re not lies,” Luke said desperately. “I’m not what you think I am, Reid. I’m begging you, just let me tell you the truth.”
“And why should I believe you?” Reid shouted.
“Because I’m not who you think I am!” Luke yelled back. He was breathing heavily, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he tried to catch his breath, eyes still locked on Reid.
“Then who are you?” challenged Reid. “Who are you, Luke?”
Luke looked as though he were about to cry, clenching his teeth and struggling to breathe.
“I’m not just Luke Snyder,” he said, voice shaking terribly. “I was given that name as a child, the name of the man who raised me and that I call my father. But that’s not the name I was born to.”
“What?”
Reid straightened, eyes widening as he looked Luke over as though he were something strange, something new.
“My name,” said Luke slowly. “is Luciano Grimaldi.”
*
Luke sat with his back against the stone doorway that led from the interior of the tower to the open landing used for evening classes. Across from him, back to the tall ledge of the landing, sat Reid, who was watching him like a hawk - not that Luke could blame him.
“I hadn’t seen Damien in years. We’d write once in a while, but the truth is, I was never close to him. During the war, we knew we had an opportunity that we couldn’t let pass us by. I managed to convince him that my parents had kept me from him, that the silence over the years hadn’t been by choice. I told him that I had never understood my family’s love for muggles. I think he was blinded by the possibility of starting over with me, he never doubted my loyalty.
“When I was told to get the Mark, I nearly turned back. I even went home for a few days. That was when Aaron was attacked, and I knew I couldn’t give up. So I returned to Damian. I got close to him, and the men that worked for him. I sent information to the Order whenever I could, but it was tricky. Still, I had to try.
“That April, Damian opened his home to more than just other Death Eaters - Voldemort himself paid us a visit, shortly after Harry Potter escaped from the Malfoy’s. I overheard other Death Eaters talking about Harry’s break-in to Gringotts and I felt like things were finally looking up. I didn’t know about the horcruxes back then, but I knew that Harry had been sent on a mission from Dumbledore, too, and that whatever he was doing, he could save us.
“When Harry returned to Hogwarts, we knew almost instantly. The Order had broken through but Death Eaters within the school had also fled and informed us. He gathered everyone he could for that final attack.
“I remember standing on that hillside, looking down on the castle I had called home for so many years, picturing all of the innocent children inside that were suddenly soldiers. I thought of my sister… and I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stand there beside people and creatures that disgusted me and pretend to be one of them, especially not when I knew this was it; they were going to try to destroy everything I’d been lying to protect and I couldn’t stand with them while they did it. So I left, fled to the castle when no one was paying attention.
“I couldn’t apparate in, so I had to get close and walk the rest of the way. Percy Weasley was the first to spot me; we’d known each other when I was still working for the Prophet. I ran down the bridge to the front gates and he let me through. McGonagall told me where Faith and I just ran. Things got chaotic after that. I just remember fighting. I was surrounded by Order members and students, from all houses, just fighting to protect each other.”
Luke paused, reaching up to wipe his eyes, which were so filled with tears and as he stared into nothing that could see.
“What I told you, about watching them from above as they carried Harry back to the castle; it’s all true,” he said desperately, looking up to meet Reid’s eyes. “I am not one of them. I never was. I hated what I was doing; I hated myself for the things I did to prove myself to them. Every time I see this,” he said, pulling up his sleeve again to reveal the Dark Mark, faded and unmoving but still undeniably there, “I am reminded of the darkest times of my life. You can’t get rid of it, no matter how hard you try, and believe me I’ve tried. I can hide it with a cloaking charm, but it’s still always there. It’s always there.”
Tears fell freely this time. Luke covered his mouth with his hand, leaning into his knees.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Reid asked coldly.
Luke looked up with a pathetic sniffle, afraid to completely meet the eyes that watched him.
“Because I was afraid you’d look at me exactly the way you are now,” he said.
Reid turned away.
“And I was afraid of the questions you no doubt want to ask,” Luke added. He paused. “Ask them.”
Reluctantly, Reid looked back up again, brows furrowed a little. Luke was looking at him intensely, tears still lining his eyes. He inhaled slowly.
“Did you…” Reid began, his voice cracking a little. “Did you kill anyone? While you were working with them?”
“No,” said Luke quickly, his voice strong. His entire body tensed. “Not directly at least… I refused to kill anyone, but sometimes another Death Eater would kill them in my defense. I got a lot of grief because of it, but I didn’t care what they thought. I’d rather be called ‘weak’ and ‘soft’ than be a cold-blooded killer.” He paused. “I did kill one person at the Battle of Hogwarts, though,” he admitted, throat tightening. “Gregory Langley. He used the Cruciatus curse on my sister. I didn’t even think twice.”
Luke trailed off, eyes glazed over and unfocused. He clenched his fist.
“Luke,” said Reid soothingly. Luke snapped his head up, eyes wide and wet, a single tear running down his cheek.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. Next question.”
Reid frowned. “Alright,” he said. “Who else knows the truth?”
“My family,” said Luke. “Lucinda was the only one who knew at first, since she was my cover story. Mum and dad found out the first time my name made the papers, after the attack in Cornwall. No one else knew my real name, though - that I’m Damian’s son. We told the rest of the family as they needed to know, most didn’t find out until after the war.”
“Does Katie know?”
Luke looked up, lips tight and eyes wide. He shook his head.
“No, she doesn’t know,” he said. “I’ve wanted to tell her, but after losing Brad…”
“You’re afraid she’ll take it badly,” Reid finished for him. Luke nodded.
“Her sister knows, though,” he began. “Margo.”
“Wait,” said Reid, sitting up a little. “Margo Hughes? Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?”
“Yes,” Luke said with a nod. “I came to her just after the war, told her everything I knew. She worked with the Order and we’d been in contact for a few months, though she didn’t know who I was until then. She promised to help keep it quiet.”
“That letter you got tonight,” Reid began, “with the ministry seal…”
“It was from Margo,” confirmed Luke. “She was telling me the same thing the papers are saying, that without my direct testimony, it’s likely that Damien will walk.”
“Do you plan to testify?”
Luke looked up, eyes scared again.
“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly.
“Why is it a problem?”
“Margo and I have talked about it on and off over the years. Originally it looked like there was no need for me to come forward. It’s unclear what would happen to me if I did come forward.”
“They might press charges.”
“Yes, they might.”
“Shouldn’t Margo know, being Head of the department and all?”
Luke shook his head. “It’s not up to her. She’s responsible for catching the bad guys, not punishing them. Her husband is high up in the courts but even he can’t say for sure what the reaction will be if I step up.”
“But you did nothing wrong,” said Reid, a little louder than he meant to. “You didn’t hurt anyone, you were a spy for the Order for god’s sake!”
“I was still a Death Eater,” said Luke, his voice strangely calm. “And there are still people in power that would love to see my punished. Especially these days when people are scared again, looking for anyone to blame. If I step forward and say that I worked for Damien Grimaldi, that I’m the Luciano they’ve been reading about in the papers, they won’t care what the truth is.”
“Why hasn’t Damien told anyone who you really are?”
“Because he knows that if he does, I’ll have no reason to keep quiet.”
“But you haven’t been quiet,” insisted Reid. “You’ve told Margo everything, right? Damien has to know it’s you.”
“He probably does,” Luke agreed. “But he also knows what everyone else knows, that it’s not enough. He has a better chance of going free if he just leaves me alone and he knows it.”
Reid gave a small nod, looking down at his hands.
“You think I should testify, don’t you?” asked Luke.
Slowly Reid looked up, his face unreadable. After a moment he shook his head.
“No,” he said. “I think the choice is yours either way, and I can’t blame you for choosing to remain anonymous.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” said Reid. “I understand what this could mean for you. It may not be right, but, I can see why people would jump at the chance to blame you. Hell, until a few hours ago, I couldn’t stand Luciano Grimaldi either, and he’d done nothing to me personally.”
Luke’s face burned and he looked down.
“But I don’t think that anymore,” said Reid firmly. Luke looked up just in time to see Reid moving toward him, crouching in front of him. “Honestly? I thought he was a coward, running away and trying to make amends for what he did by throwing his own father under the bus. I made assumptions, and I judged a man I didn’t even know. Shocking, I know,” he said with a grin, causing even Luke’s lips to twitch. “But I was wrong. He’s brave, and strong. And he’s also scared, but not without reason, and anyone who says otherwise is a hypocrite. This war… it tore this world apart in more ways that we care to acknowledge. People are still scared, and that’s not going to change. It’s only been five years… I think we have a long way to go before we can expect people to think rationally when it comes to something as touchy as these trials.”
Luke’s body was tense, hands almost shaking against his legs. His eyes stared at nothing and were filled with tears again. God, Reid hated when people cried. He sighed sympathetically.
“Come on,” he said. “I’m freezing my ass off up here.”
Luke blinked up at him, realizing that Reid was now standing and offering him his hand. After a moment he took it, allowing Reid to help pull him to his feet. Reid led the way back into the enclosed part of the tower, pulling out his wand to extinguish the torches along the way.
“Reid,” Luke said suddenly, just as Reid opened the door. The blond seemed to hesitate for a moment, struggling to form words. “Thank you.”
It was silent again, but Reid stepped closer, placing a warm hand on Luke’s cold, damp cheek.
“You’re welcome.”
*
The castle was quiet, the halls dark. Luke was shivering by the time they reached the staff corridor. He was finding it hard to keep his eyes open and was yawning every few seconds.
“Reid,” said Luke as they stepped up to his door. “I am sorry. I am so sorry that I lied to you about something like this.”
“Shh,” said Reid, reaching up to tuck a few loose strands of Luke’s long hair behind his ears. Luke’s eyes feel shut, his breathing evening out for the first time all nice. “We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”
Luke nodded, opening his eyes.
“Get some sleep,” Reid insisted.
He nodded again.
For a moment they just stood there awkwardly, not quite sure how to act around each other anymore. Luke moved first, a little stiff and jumpy, but he managed to move forward, leaning in for a kiss but not quite gaining the confidence to capture it. To his relief, Reid didn’t need much convincing, lower his hand to Luke’s cheek again, cupping his jaw and leaning in the rest of the way, gently brushing his lips to Luke’s. It was probably the softest kiss they’d ever shared.
“Good night,” he said as he broke away.
“Good night.”
Reid’s hand lingered a moment longer, fingers brushing against Luke’s ivory skin as he walked away.
He forced himself not to look back, holding in a breath until he finally heard the sound of Luke’s door closing. It was a battle the entire way back to his own room, pushing through six flights of moving stairs and various twists and turns down the corridors. Only once his own door was securely locked behind him did Reid allow himself to feel. He didn’t even make it to his bed before he collapsed onto his knees, face falling into his hands, tears dripping down his fingers.
*
Similar stories about the various ongoing trials became more frequent over the following weeks. With each new story detailing the holes in the Grimaldi case, Reid became increasingly frustrated with the fact that he could do nothing but sit by and watch as the happy, free-spirited Luke he’d so unexplainably fallen for turned into someone new, someone tired and losing hope. Luke rarely spoke at breakfast anymore. He didn’t eat much either, his appetite typically ruined by the morning post. After the first week Reid gave up on trying to force him to eat. Now he just sat close, holding Luke’s hand under the table in silent support. By now he’d realized that there wasn’t much he could do short of killing Damian Grimaldi himself - a plan he’d genuinely considered for three days after Luke had nearly passed out after being hit by a simple disarming spell during one of his fourth year classes. Luke had tried to convince Reid that he just had a cold or something, that’s why he was weak, but Reid knew it was from the lack of food in his stomach. It didn’t help that that morning’s headline had been, “Grimaldi Released On House Arrest Until Trial.”
“When I said to play sick, I meant for you to stay out of classes today, not to go to class and actually get sick,” Reid scolded gently as he sat on Luke’s bed with him. The younger man was slumped against Reid’s side, head on his shoulder. His eyes were closed and he was taking in deep, slow breaths through his nose. Reid didn’t expect an answer. He had an arm around Luke’s slender waist, fingers moving absently in circles against his side.
He only left after Luke promised to take it easy for the rest of the day, before begrudgingly returning to his own classroom with compromised focus. Each article seemed to hit Luke harder than the last. He would silently cry into Reid’s shoulder some nights, hating himself for being a coward, as he put it. Reid would spend hours convincing Luke that he wasn’t a coward, trying to make him believe that things would be alright. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, especially when he wasn’t convinced himself.
By the end of February, after Luke had missed Friday classes and spent all of Saturday in bed fighting a cold, for real this time, Reid was convinced that the only thing that could possibly make things worse would be news that all charges had been dropped.
In a way, perhaps that would have been the best thing.
*
It was a Sunday morning.
Sundays were always peaceful, lacking the strict sort of schedule that everyone was held to during the week. It was certainly Reid’s favorite day at least. Though he loved schedules and was a morning person by nature, the chance to turn off his alarm clock and spend the day as he pleased was still rather appealing.
He began to stir when sunlight hit his face, finding its way through the half-closed curtains.
“You didn’t close the curtains,” Reid muttered, rolling over to find the other side of the bed empty. He frowned, stretching a little and blinking his eyes as he tried to wake up. He looked across the room to find Luke sitting in the back window, using the morning light to read The Morning Prophet. At first he thought nothing of it, but then his eyes adjusted and he noticed that Luke’s free hand was clapped over his mouth, eyes wide and filled with tears.
“Luke?” he asked, unsuccessfully. “Luke,” he repeated more firmly. “What’s wrong?”
Luke finally looked up, appearing terrified to meet Reid’s gaze.
“I’m so sorry,” Luke stammered a moment later, his voice thick and weighed with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Reid. I swear I didn’t know.”
“What are you talking about?” Reid questioned, clearly confused. He made his way out of the bed, smoothing his black t-shirt as he stood and walked over to Luke. He carefully pulled the paper from Luke’s hands. “Jesus, not another article…” he began, instantly seeing the Grimaldi name in bold letters across the top of the paper.
And then, he saw her.
She was staring up at him, blue eyes wide and her sweet, awkward smile radiating from the page. Her curly strawberry blond hair was tied back in a messy braid that hung over the front of her shoulder and her long, elegant fingers were playing with the end. There was youth in her face, a mixture of innocence and confidence. She seemed to be looking at someone just beyond the camera, laughing at whatever they were saying.
Beside here were three more faces, all about the same age and with the same care-free expressions.
“Reid,” Luke barely managed to say. Before he could continue though, Reid shook his head, never looking up. All Luke could do was nod. He bit back the tears, quietly moving to gather the rest of his things. He didn’t speak again, but before leaving he leaned over Reid, trying not to notice the pain on his face. Luke kissed Reid on the head, wrapping a shaky hand around his neck and nuzzling against his strawberry blond curls for a moment, half a moment, before silently leaving the room.
*
“’Damian Grimaldi has been returned to Azkaban following new information linking him to the disappearances and recently confirmed deaths of four Junior Aurors in Nottingham in 1997,’” said Dervis, reading from the paper.
Luke had showered and dressed before daring to head down to the Great Hall for lunch. He knew people would already be talking, and though a part of him was afraid he wouldn’t be able to handle it, another part needed to hear what their friends and the rest of the school was saying.
“’Jake Riverly, Milicent Turntale, Cale Marcum and Arnya Oliver were all declared Missing in Action in April, 1997, after disappearing from their posts just outside of Robins Hollow, Nottingham. Confirmation of their deaths was only discovered this past June along with information pertaining to sixteen other missing persons and seven unexplained deaths. Only just this week, however, had any connections been made between these four deaths and Damian Grimaldi.’”
Katie was leaning on the table with one arm for support, the other covering her mouth. Her eyes were closed but a few stray tears still made their way down her face. Luke tried not to look at her.
“Oh, Reid,” Dervis said sadly, dropping the paper. Luke noticed that his eyes were a little wet as well. “I hope they nail this son of a bitch,” he all but growled a moment later. “Arnya was a sweet girl, damn fine witch. After losing her folks the way she did, it was damn impressive that she kept her wits, even wanted to be an auror herself.”
Luke watched as Katie reached across the table, taking Dervis’ hand. The couple exchanged a look, fingers tightening. Luke had to look away.
“I’m going to go find Reid,” he announced, slowly standing.
Dervis just nodded.
“You do that,” he said seriously, looking up at Luke with pleading eyes. “He may be a right son of a bitch most of the time, and a pain in the ass all of the time, but that bloke doesn’t deserve none of this.”
Luke was at a loss for words, unable to speak out of fear that he would start sobbing right there at the sight of this man, who knew Reid better than just about anyone and still loved him after so many years. Luke suddenly found himself swelling with appreciation that Reid had had this constant, good friend in his life for song long. He put his hand on Dervis’ shoulder and nodded promisingly.
*
It took longer than he had expected, but Luke finally found Reid. He had checked Reid’s room first, though hadn’t been surprised to find that Reid was no longer there. He searched the usual places - professor’s lounge, his office, even the kitchens - before it finally hit him the one place he needed to go.
It was midday and the sun was high in the sky, warming the otherwise frigid winter air.
“You should have lit some torches,” said Luke, stepping out onto the balcony of the Astronomy tower. He pointed his wand and the torches nearest Reid burst into flames, bringing a little more heat to the chilled tower.
Cautiously Luke approached the ledge where Reid was leaning, saying nothing as he looked out over the grounds. Reid was staring out over the Forbidden Forest, though really, it was more like he was looking through it. His eyes were pointed in the right direction, but it was clear that his mind was miles away.
“Dervis is worried about you,” Luke said after a while. Reid let out a sound that told Luke he’d been heard, but otherwise silence reigned. “Katie, too,” he added. Still nothing
Luke gave into the silence, ignoring the prickles in his cheek every time the wind picked up. He had to let Reid control this, plain and simple.
“She never told me she wanted to be an auror,” said Reid quietly after what felt like hours. “Not til the day she graduated.”
Luke said nothing.
“Our Uncle Angus almost cried. I never knew if it was out of fear or joy.”
Luke turned to Reid, wanting so badly to reach out and touch him, but he didn’t.
“Our mother had been an auror, I think I told you that,” continued Reid. Luke nodded. “Dad was a beat cop in Cardiff. That’s how they met actually.”
“I never knew that,” said Luke carefully.
Reid nodded. “My uncle worked for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He couldn’t do magic, but he wasn’t useless by any means. He worked for the muggle police, a sort of liaison between our world and theirs. None of the muggles knew. He worked with my dad a lot, they became pretty good friends. That’s how he met my mum, through Angus. He’d convinced the department that having one muggle on the force knowing our secret would help him when it came to covering up magical incidences. He also convinced them the man for the job was my dad, David.”
There was a pause, and Reid’s eyes fell to the stone under his hands. Luke again had to fight to resist the urge to reach for him.
“They died on the same day,” Reid began again. “Mum was first, during a raid on the ministry. They came after my dad at work. He hadn’t even heard the news yet when they attacked the station, killing my dad and four other officers. I remember being called down to Dumbledore’s office, already expecting to hear that I’d lost my mum or my dad. I never expected to hear I’d lost them both.”
Luke quietly extended his arm, placing his warm hand on top of Reid’s. It was impossible to fight it anymore.
“When I lost Arnya, I had lost everything,” continued Reid, pulling his hand away.
“Reid,” Luke whispered desperately.
“How could you not know?” said Reid instantly, his voice hard and tense. “You were still with him, how could you not know about this?”
“What?” was all Luke managed to say, breaking the word into two shaky syllables.
“It was all over the papers when they disappeared, everyone knew their names!” Reid shouted angrily. “And again this summer, it was on the front page for over a week, Luke! So tell me how it’s possible that you didn’t know!”
“You really think I knew what happened to her and didn’t tell you?” Luke asked, his own voice growing louder.
“How should I know?” snapped Reid with a humorless laugh. “You didn’t tell me about the Mark, you didn’t tell me the truth about being in the War. I had to find out, and then you only told me to save your own ass!”
“That’s not fair!” shouted Luke, watching as Reid began to pace. “I wouldn’t have kept this from you, Reid. Not your own sister. I could never-“ Luke stopped, choking on his words and the tears that were causing his eyes to swell and his throat to tighten. “I didn’t know,” he continued more calmly. “I didn’t know everything Damian did or every death he was involved in. There were dozens of ringleaders, Reid. It could have been the Malfoys, Lestrange, Laxley - dammit it could have been Voldemort himself for all I knew!”
“Then how did they figure it out?” pressed Reid, his eyes a little wide and desperate and he turned to face Luke. “You’ve been the Ministry’s little mole for years, everything they have comes from you! So how did they figure this out if it wasn’t you?”
“Not everything is from me,” Luke said sharply. “The Ministry has the pieces, they have the evidence. I’m just the storyteller connecting the dots, confirming their assumptions.”
Reid began to shake his head. Luke had never seen him so… emotional. He was a mess, and it was clear he wasn’t used to being this way either. He wasn’t sure how to handle it.
“I didn’t know anything more than you did. I learned about the disappearances from the paper, and I didn’t know that they were dead until the rest of us found out this summer. Please, Reid. If I had known anything, anything about your sister, I would have told you.”
Reid was shaking his head again, his jaw tight and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t even look like Reid anymore.
“Reid,” Luke whispered, taking two careful steps forward. Reid looked up and met his eyes. He was breathing unevenly and it was clear that he was using what little energy he had to compose himself. “Please.”
Luke only took two more steps before Reid stumbled forward, Luke catching him beneath his arms. Reid’s hands, usually so steady, were shaking as they grabbed fistfuls of Luke’s robe, clinging desperately. Luke couldn’t hold up Reid’s weight, not when his own knees were so unreliable at the moment, and so he at least helped to lower them in a small heap to the ground until they were kneeling in front of each other, arms tangled helplessly around each other.
“I’m so sorry, Reid,” Luke cried quietly in Reid’s ear. Reid stopped trying to fight it, stopped trying to be this man that didn’t care, because god dammit he did care. He cried, openly and freely against Luke’s chest. He could barely breathe and the world seemed to spin around him. Luke tightened his hold, cradling Reid against him, stroking his hair and simply doing whatever felt right in the moment to try and bring some peace to Reid. Perhaps it wasn’t much, but he wasn’t going to stop.
They sat like that for a few minutes before Reid quieted, his chest rising and falling at a normal rate. He still held tightly to Luke, refusing to look up, but Luke could tell he was no longer crying. Luke hugged him tighter.
“I’m tired of running. I’m tired of being a coward, and I’m tired of letting you down,” he said firmly, reaching to hold Reid’s face in his hands. “He’ll pay for this,” said Luke, his voice still shaking, but there was a bitterness there that startled even him. “I’m going to make him pay for this.”
Part Five
“Ah!” exclaimed Dervis, head bent toward the enchanted ceiling. Reid followed his gaze long enough to spy a handful of owls carrying the evening mail. A copy of the day’s Evening Prophet landed on the table in front of Dervis. Before Luke fell a simple letter with the Ministry of Magic seal on the back. No one seemed to notice or mind him, curiously looking over Dervis’ shoulder at the front cover of the Prophet.
In large capital letters across the top of the paper were the words, ‘Grimaldi Case Losing Steam’. Beneath the headline was a large picture of a handsome older man with neatly combed black hair and sparkling gray eyes. He looked into the camera a moment, as if looking directly at the reader, before turning his head away with a smirk. He wore traditional Azkaban garments of black and white stripes, and was clearly being led from a court room within the Ministry.
“Listen to this, ‘Damian Grimaldi, the suspected Death Eater leader who was imprisoned in June 1997, just after Lord Voldemort’s fall, was finally brought to trial last November. However, the case against him as been deemed weak from the start and seems to only be unraveling with each passing hearing. New information given to the Department for Magical Law Enforcement last month seemed promising, but Head Auror Margo Hughes says she is concerned that it may not be enough. Our sources within the department tell us that the information was anonymously given, though many suspect it to be from none other than Grimaldi’s own son, Luciano Grimaldi.’”
A goblet fell forward onto the table, the little bit of pumpkin juice still inside spilling onto the floor. Reid, Dervis and Katie all turned to Luke, who was suddenly rather pale and clutching the open letter in his hand a little too tightly.
“Are you okay?” Reid asked quietly, reaching a hand beneath the table to touch Luke’s elbow. Luke pulled away.
“Fine, fine,” said Luke abruptly. “Must have ate something funny, I’m not feeling well.” Without another wore Luke stood, shoving the letter into the inner pocket of his robe and unceremoniously shoved his chair back and left the table, disappearing through the staff door at the front of the hall.
“Is he okay?” asked Katie.
Reid hesitated, still watching the door through which Luke had left, before nodding carefully.
“Just feeling ill,” he said, turning back to them. “Sorry, continue.”
Dervis nodded. “’Many of those working on the Grimaldi case believe that the evidence they now possess could be more than enough to put Grimaldi away for the rest of his life. However, without the direct testimony of Luciano Grimaldi, aurors have no way of proving that the information is accurate. Aurors believe that Luciano Grimaldi will not come forward for fear of being brought to trial himself on accusations that he assisted Damian Grimaldi and other Death Eaters during the war.’”
Dervis slumped, dropping the paper onto the table.
“Bastard was one of the worse out there, and he’s gonna slip away.”
“My sister will figure something out,” said Katie desperately. “She always does. And Tom, too. They’ve got good people in their departments; they won’t let him get away with what he did. Right, Reid?”
Reid turned to Katie, blinking twice before speaking.
“Of course,” he said half-heartedly as he pushed back his chair. He gathered his robe in his hand as he stood, throwing it behind him and leaving the table without warning, following the same path by which Luke had left. He heard Dervis call after him only once, but didn’t turn back.
*
Reid felt a little ridiculous chasing Luke down like this, but he couldn’t stop himself. The anguish on Luke’s face before he left the table had been more than that of someone who felt a little under the weather. There was fear and pain in his eyes, and though Reid could have rolled his own eyes for having recognized such things, he was more concerned with making absolutely certain that Luke was alright.
The walk from the Great Hall to the staff wing wasn’t very long, something he’d often envied Dervis about in comparison to his own hike to the Ravenclaw tower. The corridor was dimly lit and eerily quiet, even for Hogwarts. Nothing moved, nothing made a sound - and then Reid heard it. A soft sob, an angry grunt and the harsh sound of wooden chair legs on stone floor. He knew Luke’s room without even thinking about it, spending many evenings in the small quarters over the past few weeks. Never before, though, had he been nervous to approach that wooden door. Until now.
It wasn’t completely closed, probably bouncing back in Luke’s rush to simply escape. Reid crept toward the entrance, scooping his robe into his arm to keep it from making any noise as it dragged along the ground. The door was cracked, a sliver of light falling onto the floor outside. Reid peered in anxiously.
Luke sat at his desk, his elbows on the table and his hands supporting the weight of his head. A few books and quills were strewn messily across the floor, no doubt shoved aside in Luke’s unexplainable anger. Reid frowned, debating what to do next. A part of him knew that he should walk away - after all, if he were in a state such as Luke was now, he would not tolerate being disturbed. However, that pulling feeling he always had around Luke, the desire to fix and heal as only he could, was stronger than his logic. That idea alone was actually quite terrifying.
Gathering up his strength, Reid dropped the hem of his robe back to the ground and pushed the door open, stepping forward heavily to make a little noise so Luke would notice him.
At first Reid wasn’t sure if it had worked; Luke didn’t budge even as Reid fully entered the room, shutting the door behind him.
“I’m fine,” Luke said after a moment, his voice shaking.
“Of course you are,” Reid frowned. He sighed, shrugging back his shoulders and letting his heavy robe fall off of his arms. He laid it across the small chair near the door where Luke’s own robe sat bundled on the cushion. He began to unbutton the cuffs of his sleeves, rolling them up as he continued to speak. “Because it’s perfectly normal for people who are fine to storm off in the middle of supper and throw things around their bedroom.”
“Piss off,” growled Luke.
“You know I don’t scare that easily, Snyder,” said Reid, his voice low, somehow mocking and soothing at the same time. Luke sighed heavily, tightly shutting his eyes. Reid moved closer and crouched beside him.
“I don’t expect you to tell me what’s turned you into such a pain in the ass,” he said, somehow sounding amazingly charming for such harsh words.
Luke nodded, his lips pursing tighter. Reid reached out, his hand finding the small of Luke’s back. Luke appeared to relax, his shoulders slumping a little as he inhaled deeply, fingers tugging at the long sleeves of his shirt, a habit of comfort Reid had come to notice.
“Just answer me one thing,” said Reid. Luke inhaled again and turned to Reid, nodding. “Are you alright? Really alright? Or are you just trying to get me to drop this?”
Luke sighed, looking away.
“Ah, no,” insisted Reid, reaching out to cup Luke’s chin between two fingers, turning his face toward him. “Answer me.”
“Do you want the truth?” Luke asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“I just want you to drop this.”
There was a pause and Reid nodded.
“Alright. I’ll drop it,” he said, staring Luke in the eyes. “For now.”
Luke let out a shaky sigh, apparently of relief. “Thank you.”
There was silence, but Reid didn’t move his hands from Luke’s face, and Luke didn’t seem to want him to. An intense look passed between them, Reid searching Luke’s vulnerable eyes that were typically an open book for some clue as to what was going on; there was nothing, and that terrified him. His jaw clenched as he tried to force down the frustration, intent on honoring his promise to drop whatever was going on for the time being. It wasn’t easy, though, he realized quickly. He needed to distract himself - and what better distraction than the man in front of him?
He moved quickly, knowing by now that he could be eager and demanding without scaring Luke off. Without even thinking it through, his lips were on Luke’s, crashing violently against them. Luke let out a soft whimper, the chair sliding back a little under their combined weight, but he didn’t object, his lips suddenly moving just as eagerly against Reid’s.
Reid pressed a hand against Luke’s hip, the other tangled in his long blond hair, holding him in place. It was clear who was in control, though it was equally clear that Luke had no intention of being submissive. He reached for Reid, pulling him down with such a hard tug that he nearly fell into Luke. The kiss broke long enough for them to cling to each other and catch their breath, foreheads pressed together and eyes closed. Words were nonexistent.
Together they scrambled to their feet, knocking another book or two off of the desk as Reid backed Luke against the edge, both hands now holding onto his waist. Luke held Reid’s face between his hands, looping an arm behind his neck. A moment later they spun around, Luke back to the four-poster bed, Reid swiftly walking him backwards.
They fell onto the linens with a thud - there was nothing sweet about this moment. It was filled with the pent up frustrations and fears both men had felt for weeks, both with each other and toward the rest of the world, though neither quite knew the extent of those feelings. Luke pulled Reid down on top of him, raising his hips desperately to meet Reid’s. Reid didn’t need to be told twice, though, pressing all of his weight into Luke, pinning him to the sheets.
Reid tore his mouth away from Luke’s, crawling down the bed and stopping when he was staring at Luke’s stomach. He pushed up the black fabric of his sweater, exposing the pale skin beneath. He kissed the skin there, causing Luke to squirm. Reid’s hands wandered the rest of his torso, feeling his muscles ripple with each touch. He continued to kiss his way up, kissing and sucking on the warm flesh. He pushed the sweater further and further up until he finally exposed Luke’s chest, his nipples hard and dark. He paid them special attention, teasing the one with his teeth, making Luke cry out quietly. He soothed it with his tongue, leaving kisses around it before moving onto the next and giving it the same treatment.
Luke squirmed beneath him, pressing against him in all the right places. Reid kissed the spot just above Luke’s heart before sitting up on his arms and then on his knees, pulling Luke up with him until he was effectively sitting in Luke’s lap, long legs wrapped around his waist. He gripped the hem of Luke’s shirt, pulling it up and over his arms and head in a few quick tugs. As soon as it was gone, their mouths reconnected, Luke’s arms encircling Reid’s neck. But Reid had other plans.
Pushing down, Reid pinned Luke to the sheets again, lips never breaking apart. He held Luke by the wrists, bringing both arms up and to the sides, effectively restraining him. In need of air, Reid pulled away, resting his head against Luke’s, kissing his cheek, his jaw, his neck, his shoulder…
And then he froze.
*
“Reid,” cried Luke, whimpering a little at the sudden lack of movement. Realizing something was wrong, though, he lifted his head. “Reid, what is it?”
Immediately he knew the answer. Reid’s eyes were not on Luke’s face, instead looking at another part of his body - his arm. As soon as Luke realized where Reid was looking, he panicked, moving quickly and forcefully beneath a frozen Reid. It wasn’t hard to push his way out, for Reid had launched himself backwards on the bed - away from Luke, still staring at his arm. Luke reached for his shirt, but Reid was faster, grabbing it and tossing it away before grabbing Luke’s arm instead.
Luke let out a small yell, his skin burning from the tight grip Reid had on him. He tried to tug it away, but it was no use.
“Reid, please,” Luke begged. Reid was still staring at his arm. “Just listen to me.”
Reid’s eyes snapped up, locking on Luke’s.
“Reid…” said Luke quietly, reaching for Reid with his free arm. Reid moved away, crawling completely off the bed. He turned his back to Luke, running a hand over his curly hair, shoulders tense.
Luke made his way to his feet, walking slowly toward Reid. He reached out again, putting a hand on Reid’s shoulder cautiously. “Please, just let me explain.”
Reid spun so fast that Luke gasped, eyes wide with fear as Reid once again took a hold of him by the wrist, pulling Luke forward.
“Explain? You think you can explain this?” Reid yelled angrily. “You have the Dark Mark, Luke!” Reid shoved Luke away, causing the blond to stumble back a few steps.
“It’s not what you think-“
“Oh really? Not what I think? Because I think you have the symbol worn only by those loyal to Voldemort, those who sided with him during the war, those who killed and destroyed in his name!”
“No!” shouted Luke desperately. “Reid, please, you have to believe me.”
“I can’t do this,” said Reid, lowering his voice though it still shook threateningly. Luke moved forward again. “Don’t - don’t touch me,” he warned. Luke froze this time, eyes wide and damp as he watched Reid collect his robe, not even bothering to put it on before storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
*
“Aaargh!” Reid screamed violently into the night sky, startling a few owls that had perched on the roof of the tower. He shrew his robe, which he still had not pulled on, into the corner by a couple of broken telescopes. There wasn’t much wind but the air was still bitterly cold as it swirled around the tower, weaving through windows and over the open landing.
The sky was dark and covered in gray clouds. The moon and the stars were hidden, giving no light. Reid managed to wave his wand, lighting some of the torches along the landing’s edge, offering just enough light to see his own fists as he smashed them against the stone ledge. He hissed at the sudden pain, but didn’t move, the uneven stone digging into his skin. Reid leaned over, pressing his forehead against his hands, every muscle in his body tense.
All he could see were his parents and his sister, all taken from him by the cruelest of human beings. He could remember being called to Dumbledore’s office and just knowing. Students were being called down every day, and it was never good news. His own visit was no exception. Both parents, gone. His uncle had done his best to care for Reid and Arnya after that, but it wasn’t the same. Years later when Arnya had disappeared, Reid had felt it, the hole in his chest, and he knew he’d lost her, too.
And now he’d lost Luke. While he knew it wasn’t the same, he still felt that hole forming in his chest, that same anger and resentment towards the followers that had taken his family, and had now stolen Luke from him.
He could feel the rage building inside of him as he looked back on each moment with Luke, each lie. His lungs felt smaller, his chest tight and his heart racing. He screamed again into the night, pushing his fists harder into the stone.
“Reid.”
He stood up and spun so quickly that his head ached and his vision became blurry, but he could see well enough to recognize the messy blond hair, the strong shoulders and the tall frame of the man before him. He realized there must have been anger on his face, for Luke suddenly looked frightened, raising his hands a little as if to signal that he wasn’t going to hurt him.
Shallow breaths escaped his lips, his body trying desperately to control itself and deliver oxygen to his lungs.
“I just want to talk,” Luke continued, cautiously taking a step closer. The flames from the torches danced on his cheek. Reid could see tear stains streaked down his face. “Please.”
Reid shook his head, careful not to move too fast this time.
“I can’t hear it, Luke,” he said, his voice cracking as he spoke Luke’s name. “I can’t hear more of your lies.”
“They’re not lies,” Luke said desperately. “I’m not what you think I am, Reid. I’m begging you, just let me tell you the truth.”
“And why should I believe you?” Reid shouted.
“Because I’m not who you think I am!” Luke yelled back. He was breathing heavily, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he tried to catch his breath, eyes still locked on Reid.
“Then who are you?” challenged Reid. “Who are you, Luke?”
Luke looked as though he were about to cry, clenching his teeth and struggling to breathe.
“I’m not just Luke Snyder,” he said, voice shaking terribly. “I was given that name as a child, the name of the man who raised me and that I call my father. But that’s not the name I was born to.”
“What?”
Reid straightened, eyes widening as he looked Luke over as though he were something strange, something new.
“My name,” said Luke slowly. “is Luciano Grimaldi.”
*
Luke sat with his back against the stone doorway that led from the interior of the tower to the open landing used for evening classes. Across from him, back to the tall ledge of the landing, sat Reid, who was watching him like a hawk - not that Luke could blame him.
“I hadn’t seen Damien in years. We’d write once in a while, but the truth is, I was never close to him. During the war, we knew we had an opportunity that we couldn’t let pass us by. I managed to convince him that my parents had kept me from him, that the silence over the years hadn’t been by choice. I told him that I had never understood my family’s love for muggles. I think he was blinded by the possibility of starting over with me, he never doubted my loyalty.
“When I was told to get the Mark, I nearly turned back. I even went home for a few days. That was when Aaron was attacked, and I knew I couldn’t give up. So I returned to Damian. I got close to him, and the men that worked for him. I sent information to the Order whenever I could, but it was tricky. Still, I had to try.
“That April, Damian opened his home to more than just other Death Eaters - Voldemort himself paid us a visit, shortly after Harry Potter escaped from the Malfoy’s. I overheard other Death Eaters talking about Harry’s break-in to Gringotts and I felt like things were finally looking up. I didn’t know about the horcruxes back then, but I knew that Harry had been sent on a mission from Dumbledore, too, and that whatever he was doing, he could save us.
“When Harry returned to Hogwarts, we knew almost instantly. The Order had broken through but Death Eaters within the school had also fled and informed us. He gathered everyone he could for that final attack.
“I remember standing on that hillside, looking down on the castle I had called home for so many years, picturing all of the innocent children inside that were suddenly soldiers. I thought of my sister… and I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stand there beside people and creatures that disgusted me and pretend to be one of them, especially not when I knew this was it; they were going to try to destroy everything I’d been lying to protect and I couldn’t stand with them while they did it. So I left, fled to the castle when no one was paying attention.
“I couldn’t apparate in, so I had to get close and walk the rest of the way. Percy Weasley was the first to spot me; we’d known each other when I was still working for the Prophet. I ran down the bridge to the front gates and he let me through. McGonagall told me where Faith and I just ran. Things got chaotic after that. I just remember fighting. I was surrounded by Order members and students, from all houses, just fighting to protect each other.”
Luke paused, reaching up to wipe his eyes, which were so filled with tears and as he stared into nothing that could see.
“What I told you, about watching them from above as they carried Harry back to the castle; it’s all true,” he said desperately, looking up to meet Reid’s eyes. “I am not one of them. I never was. I hated what I was doing; I hated myself for the things I did to prove myself to them. Every time I see this,” he said, pulling up his sleeve again to reveal the Dark Mark, faded and unmoving but still undeniably there, “I am reminded of the darkest times of my life. You can’t get rid of it, no matter how hard you try, and believe me I’ve tried. I can hide it with a cloaking charm, but it’s still always there. It’s always there.”
Tears fell freely this time. Luke covered his mouth with his hand, leaning into his knees.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Reid asked coldly.
Luke looked up with a pathetic sniffle, afraid to completely meet the eyes that watched him.
“Because I was afraid you’d look at me exactly the way you are now,” he said.
Reid turned away.
“And I was afraid of the questions you no doubt want to ask,” Luke added. He paused. “Ask them.”
Reluctantly, Reid looked back up again, brows furrowed a little. Luke was looking at him intensely, tears still lining his eyes. He inhaled slowly.
“Did you…” Reid began, his voice cracking a little. “Did you kill anyone? While you were working with them?”
“No,” said Luke quickly, his voice strong. His entire body tensed. “Not directly at least… I refused to kill anyone, but sometimes another Death Eater would kill them in my defense. I got a lot of grief because of it, but I didn’t care what they thought. I’d rather be called ‘weak’ and ‘soft’ than be a cold-blooded killer.” He paused. “I did kill one person at the Battle of Hogwarts, though,” he admitted, throat tightening. “Gregory Langley. He used the Cruciatus curse on my sister. I didn’t even think twice.”
Luke trailed off, eyes glazed over and unfocused. He clenched his fist.
“Luke,” said Reid soothingly. Luke snapped his head up, eyes wide and wet, a single tear running down his cheek.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. Next question.”
Reid frowned. “Alright,” he said. “Who else knows the truth?”
“My family,” said Luke. “Lucinda was the only one who knew at first, since she was my cover story. Mum and dad found out the first time my name made the papers, after the attack in Cornwall. No one else knew my real name, though - that I’m Damian’s son. We told the rest of the family as they needed to know, most didn’t find out until after the war.”
“Does Katie know?”
Luke looked up, lips tight and eyes wide. He shook his head.
“No, she doesn’t know,” he said. “I’ve wanted to tell her, but after losing Brad…”
“You’re afraid she’ll take it badly,” Reid finished for him. Luke nodded.
“Her sister knows, though,” he began. “Margo.”
“Wait,” said Reid, sitting up a little. “Margo Hughes? Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?”
“Yes,” Luke said with a nod. “I came to her just after the war, told her everything I knew. She worked with the Order and we’d been in contact for a few months, though she didn’t know who I was until then. She promised to help keep it quiet.”
“That letter you got tonight,” Reid began, “with the ministry seal…”
“It was from Margo,” confirmed Luke. “She was telling me the same thing the papers are saying, that without my direct testimony, it’s likely that Damien will walk.”
“Do you plan to testify?”
Luke looked up, eyes scared again.
“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly.
“Why is it a problem?”
“Margo and I have talked about it on and off over the years. Originally it looked like there was no need for me to come forward. It’s unclear what would happen to me if I did come forward.”
“They might press charges.”
“Yes, they might.”
“Shouldn’t Margo know, being Head of the department and all?”
Luke shook his head. “It’s not up to her. She’s responsible for catching the bad guys, not punishing them. Her husband is high up in the courts but even he can’t say for sure what the reaction will be if I step up.”
“But you did nothing wrong,” said Reid, a little louder than he meant to. “You didn’t hurt anyone, you were a spy for the Order for god’s sake!”
“I was still a Death Eater,” said Luke, his voice strangely calm. “And there are still people in power that would love to see my punished. Especially these days when people are scared again, looking for anyone to blame. If I step forward and say that I worked for Damien Grimaldi, that I’m the Luciano they’ve been reading about in the papers, they won’t care what the truth is.”
“Why hasn’t Damien told anyone who you really are?”
“Because he knows that if he does, I’ll have no reason to keep quiet.”
“But you haven’t been quiet,” insisted Reid. “You’ve told Margo everything, right? Damien has to know it’s you.”
“He probably does,” Luke agreed. “But he also knows what everyone else knows, that it’s not enough. He has a better chance of going free if he just leaves me alone and he knows it.”
Reid gave a small nod, looking down at his hands.
“You think I should testify, don’t you?” asked Luke.
Slowly Reid looked up, his face unreadable. After a moment he shook his head.
“No,” he said. “I think the choice is yours either way, and I can’t blame you for choosing to remain anonymous.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” said Reid. “I understand what this could mean for you. It may not be right, but, I can see why people would jump at the chance to blame you. Hell, until a few hours ago, I couldn’t stand Luciano Grimaldi either, and he’d done nothing to me personally.”
Luke’s face burned and he looked down.
“But I don’t think that anymore,” said Reid firmly. Luke looked up just in time to see Reid moving toward him, crouching in front of him. “Honestly? I thought he was a coward, running away and trying to make amends for what he did by throwing his own father under the bus. I made assumptions, and I judged a man I didn’t even know. Shocking, I know,” he said with a grin, causing even Luke’s lips to twitch. “But I was wrong. He’s brave, and strong. And he’s also scared, but not without reason, and anyone who says otherwise is a hypocrite. This war… it tore this world apart in more ways that we care to acknowledge. People are still scared, and that’s not going to change. It’s only been five years… I think we have a long way to go before we can expect people to think rationally when it comes to something as touchy as these trials.”
Luke’s body was tense, hands almost shaking against his legs. His eyes stared at nothing and were filled with tears again. God, Reid hated when people cried. He sighed sympathetically.
“Come on,” he said. “I’m freezing my ass off up here.”
Luke blinked up at him, realizing that Reid was now standing and offering him his hand. After a moment he took it, allowing Reid to help pull him to his feet. Reid led the way back into the enclosed part of the tower, pulling out his wand to extinguish the torches along the way.
“Reid,” Luke said suddenly, just as Reid opened the door. The blond seemed to hesitate for a moment, struggling to form words. “Thank you.”
It was silent again, but Reid stepped closer, placing a warm hand on Luke’s cold, damp cheek.
“You’re welcome.”
*
The castle was quiet, the halls dark. Luke was shivering by the time they reached the staff corridor. He was finding it hard to keep his eyes open and was yawning every few seconds.
“Reid,” said Luke as they stepped up to his door. “I am sorry. I am so sorry that I lied to you about something like this.”
“Shh,” said Reid, reaching up to tuck a few loose strands of Luke’s long hair behind his ears. Luke’s eyes feel shut, his breathing evening out for the first time all nice. “We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”
Luke nodded, opening his eyes.
“Get some sleep,” Reid insisted.
He nodded again.
For a moment they just stood there awkwardly, not quite sure how to act around each other anymore. Luke moved first, a little stiff and jumpy, but he managed to move forward, leaning in for a kiss but not quite gaining the confidence to capture it. To his relief, Reid didn’t need much convincing, lower his hand to Luke’s cheek again, cupping his jaw and leaning in the rest of the way, gently brushing his lips to Luke’s. It was probably the softest kiss they’d ever shared.
“Good night,” he said as he broke away.
“Good night.”
Reid’s hand lingered a moment longer, fingers brushing against Luke’s ivory skin as he walked away.
He forced himself not to look back, holding in a breath until he finally heard the sound of Luke’s door closing. It was a battle the entire way back to his own room, pushing through six flights of moving stairs and various twists and turns down the corridors. Only once his own door was securely locked behind him did Reid allow himself to feel. He didn’t even make it to his bed before he collapsed onto his knees, face falling into his hands, tears dripping down his fingers.
*
Similar stories about the various ongoing trials became more frequent over the following weeks. With each new story detailing the holes in the Grimaldi case, Reid became increasingly frustrated with the fact that he could do nothing but sit by and watch as the happy, free-spirited Luke he’d so unexplainably fallen for turned into someone new, someone tired and losing hope. Luke rarely spoke at breakfast anymore. He didn’t eat much either, his appetite typically ruined by the morning post. After the first week Reid gave up on trying to force him to eat. Now he just sat close, holding Luke’s hand under the table in silent support. By now he’d realized that there wasn’t much he could do short of killing Damian Grimaldi himself - a plan he’d genuinely considered for three days after Luke had nearly passed out after being hit by a simple disarming spell during one of his fourth year classes. Luke had tried to convince Reid that he just had a cold or something, that’s why he was weak, but Reid knew it was from the lack of food in his stomach. It didn’t help that that morning’s headline had been, “Grimaldi Released On House Arrest Until Trial.”
“When I said to play sick, I meant for you to stay out of classes today, not to go to class and actually get sick,” Reid scolded gently as he sat on Luke’s bed with him. The younger man was slumped against Reid’s side, head on his shoulder. His eyes were closed and he was taking in deep, slow breaths through his nose. Reid didn’t expect an answer. He had an arm around Luke’s slender waist, fingers moving absently in circles against his side.
He only left after Luke promised to take it easy for the rest of the day, before begrudgingly returning to his own classroom with compromised focus. Each article seemed to hit Luke harder than the last. He would silently cry into Reid’s shoulder some nights, hating himself for being a coward, as he put it. Reid would spend hours convincing Luke that he wasn’t a coward, trying to make him believe that things would be alright. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, especially when he wasn’t convinced himself.
By the end of February, after Luke had missed Friday classes and spent all of Saturday in bed fighting a cold, for real this time, Reid was convinced that the only thing that could possibly make things worse would be news that all charges had been dropped.
In a way, perhaps that would have been the best thing.
*
It was a Sunday morning.
Sundays were always peaceful, lacking the strict sort of schedule that everyone was held to during the week. It was certainly Reid’s favorite day at least. Though he loved schedules and was a morning person by nature, the chance to turn off his alarm clock and spend the day as he pleased was still rather appealing.
He began to stir when sunlight hit his face, finding its way through the half-closed curtains.
“You didn’t close the curtains,” Reid muttered, rolling over to find the other side of the bed empty. He frowned, stretching a little and blinking his eyes as he tried to wake up. He looked across the room to find Luke sitting in the back window, using the morning light to read The Morning Prophet. At first he thought nothing of it, but then his eyes adjusted and he noticed that Luke’s free hand was clapped over his mouth, eyes wide and filled with tears.
“Luke?” he asked, unsuccessfully. “Luke,” he repeated more firmly. “What’s wrong?”
Luke finally looked up, appearing terrified to meet Reid’s gaze.
“I’m so sorry,” Luke stammered a moment later, his voice thick and weighed with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Reid. I swear I didn’t know.”
“What are you talking about?” Reid questioned, clearly confused. He made his way out of the bed, smoothing his black t-shirt as he stood and walked over to Luke. He carefully pulled the paper from Luke’s hands. “Jesus, not another article…” he began, instantly seeing the Grimaldi name in bold letters across the top of the paper.
And then, he saw her.
She was staring up at him, blue eyes wide and her sweet, awkward smile radiating from the page. Her curly strawberry blond hair was tied back in a messy braid that hung over the front of her shoulder and her long, elegant fingers were playing with the end. There was youth in her face, a mixture of innocence and confidence. She seemed to be looking at someone just beyond the camera, laughing at whatever they were saying.
Beside here were three more faces, all about the same age and with the same care-free expressions.
“Reid,” Luke barely managed to say. Before he could continue though, Reid shook his head, never looking up. All Luke could do was nod. He bit back the tears, quietly moving to gather the rest of his things. He didn’t speak again, but before leaving he leaned over Reid, trying not to notice the pain on his face. Luke kissed Reid on the head, wrapping a shaky hand around his neck and nuzzling against his strawberry blond curls for a moment, half a moment, before silently leaving the room.
*
“’Damian Grimaldi has been returned to Azkaban following new information linking him to the disappearances and recently confirmed deaths of four Junior Aurors in Nottingham in 1997,’” said Dervis, reading from the paper.
Luke had showered and dressed before daring to head down to the Great Hall for lunch. He knew people would already be talking, and though a part of him was afraid he wouldn’t be able to handle it, another part needed to hear what their friends and the rest of the school was saying.
“’Jake Riverly, Milicent Turntale, Cale Marcum and Arnya Oliver were all declared Missing in Action in April, 1997, after disappearing from their posts just outside of Robins Hollow, Nottingham. Confirmation of their deaths was only discovered this past June along with information pertaining to sixteen other missing persons and seven unexplained deaths. Only just this week, however, had any connections been made between these four deaths and Damian Grimaldi.’”
Katie was leaning on the table with one arm for support, the other covering her mouth. Her eyes were closed but a few stray tears still made their way down her face. Luke tried not to look at her.
“Oh, Reid,” Dervis said sadly, dropping the paper. Luke noticed that his eyes were a little wet as well. “I hope they nail this son of a bitch,” he all but growled a moment later. “Arnya was a sweet girl, damn fine witch. After losing her folks the way she did, it was damn impressive that she kept her wits, even wanted to be an auror herself.”
Luke watched as Katie reached across the table, taking Dervis’ hand. The couple exchanged a look, fingers tightening. Luke had to look away.
“I’m going to go find Reid,” he announced, slowly standing.
Dervis just nodded.
“You do that,” he said seriously, looking up at Luke with pleading eyes. “He may be a right son of a bitch most of the time, and a pain in the ass all of the time, but that bloke doesn’t deserve none of this.”
Luke was at a loss for words, unable to speak out of fear that he would start sobbing right there at the sight of this man, who knew Reid better than just about anyone and still loved him after so many years. Luke suddenly found himself swelling with appreciation that Reid had had this constant, good friend in his life for song long. He put his hand on Dervis’ shoulder and nodded promisingly.
*
It took longer than he had expected, but Luke finally found Reid. He had checked Reid’s room first, though hadn’t been surprised to find that Reid was no longer there. He searched the usual places - professor’s lounge, his office, even the kitchens - before it finally hit him the one place he needed to go.
It was midday and the sun was high in the sky, warming the otherwise frigid winter air.
“You should have lit some torches,” said Luke, stepping out onto the balcony of the Astronomy tower. He pointed his wand and the torches nearest Reid burst into flames, bringing a little more heat to the chilled tower.
Cautiously Luke approached the ledge where Reid was leaning, saying nothing as he looked out over the grounds. Reid was staring out over the Forbidden Forest, though really, it was more like he was looking through it. His eyes were pointed in the right direction, but it was clear that his mind was miles away.
“Dervis is worried about you,” Luke said after a while. Reid let out a sound that told Luke he’d been heard, but otherwise silence reigned. “Katie, too,” he added. Still nothing
Luke gave into the silence, ignoring the prickles in his cheek every time the wind picked up. He had to let Reid control this, plain and simple.
“She never told me she wanted to be an auror,” said Reid quietly after what felt like hours. “Not til the day she graduated.”
Luke said nothing.
“Our Uncle Angus almost cried. I never knew if it was out of fear or joy.”
Luke turned to Reid, wanting so badly to reach out and touch him, but he didn’t.
“Our mother had been an auror, I think I told you that,” continued Reid. Luke nodded. “Dad was a beat cop in Cardiff. That’s how they met actually.”
“I never knew that,” said Luke carefully.
Reid nodded. “My uncle worked for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He couldn’t do magic, but he wasn’t useless by any means. He worked for the muggle police, a sort of liaison between our world and theirs. None of the muggles knew. He worked with my dad a lot, they became pretty good friends. That’s how he met my mum, through Angus. He’d convinced the department that having one muggle on the force knowing our secret would help him when it came to covering up magical incidences. He also convinced them the man for the job was my dad, David.”
There was a pause, and Reid’s eyes fell to the stone under his hands. Luke again had to fight to resist the urge to reach for him.
“They died on the same day,” Reid began again. “Mum was first, during a raid on the ministry. They came after my dad at work. He hadn’t even heard the news yet when they attacked the station, killing my dad and four other officers. I remember being called down to Dumbledore’s office, already expecting to hear that I’d lost my mum or my dad. I never expected to hear I’d lost them both.”
Luke quietly extended his arm, placing his warm hand on top of Reid’s. It was impossible to fight it anymore.
“When I lost Arnya, I had lost everything,” continued Reid, pulling his hand away.
“Reid,” Luke whispered desperately.
“How could you not know?” said Reid instantly, his voice hard and tense. “You were still with him, how could you not know about this?”
“What?” was all Luke managed to say, breaking the word into two shaky syllables.
“It was all over the papers when they disappeared, everyone knew their names!” Reid shouted angrily. “And again this summer, it was on the front page for over a week, Luke! So tell me how it’s possible that you didn’t know!”
“You really think I knew what happened to her and didn’t tell you?” Luke asked, his own voice growing louder.
“How should I know?” snapped Reid with a humorless laugh. “You didn’t tell me about the Mark, you didn’t tell me the truth about being in the War. I had to find out, and then you only told me to save your own ass!”
“That’s not fair!” shouted Luke, watching as Reid began to pace. “I wouldn’t have kept this from you, Reid. Not your own sister. I could never-“ Luke stopped, choking on his words and the tears that were causing his eyes to swell and his throat to tighten. “I didn’t know,” he continued more calmly. “I didn’t know everything Damian did or every death he was involved in. There were dozens of ringleaders, Reid. It could have been the Malfoys, Lestrange, Laxley - dammit it could have been Voldemort himself for all I knew!”
“Then how did they figure it out?” pressed Reid, his eyes a little wide and desperate and he turned to face Luke. “You’ve been the Ministry’s little mole for years, everything they have comes from you! So how did they figure this out if it wasn’t you?”
“Not everything is from me,” Luke said sharply. “The Ministry has the pieces, they have the evidence. I’m just the storyteller connecting the dots, confirming their assumptions.”
Reid began to shake his head. Luke had never seen him so… emotional. He was a mess, and it was clear he wasn’t used to being this way either. He wasn’t sure how to handle it.
“I didn’t know anything more than you did. I learned about the disappearances from the paper, and I didn’t know that they were dead until the rest of us found out this summer. Please, Reid. If I had known anything, anything about your sister, I would have told you.”
Reid was shaking his head again, his jaw tight and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t even look like Reid anymore.
“Reid,” Luke whispered, taking two careful steps forward. Reid looked up and met his eyes. He was breathing unevenly and it was clear that he was using what little energy he had to compose himself. “Please.”
Luke only took two more steps before Reid stumbled forward, Luke catching him beneath his arms. Reid’s hands, usually so steady, were shaking as they grabbed fistfuls of Luke’s robe, clinging desperately. Luke couldn’t hold up Reid’s weight, not when his own knees were so unreliable at the moment, and so he at least helped to lower them in a small heap to the ground until they were kneeling in front of each other, arms tangled helplessly around each other.
“I’m so sorry, Reid,” Luke cried quietly in Reid’s ear. Reid stopped trying to fight it, stopped trying to be this man that didn’t care, because god dammit he did care. He cried, openly and freely against Luke’s chest. He could barely breathe and the world seemed to spin around him. Luke tightened his hold, cradling Reid against him, stroking his hair and simply doing whatever felt right in the moment to try and bring some peace to Reid. Perhaps it wasn’t much, but he wasn’t going to stop.
They sat like that for a few minutes before Reid quieted, his chest rising and falling at a normal rate. He still held tightly to Luke, refusing to look up, but Luke could tell he was no longer crying. Luke hugged him tighter.
“I’m tired of running. I’m tired of being a coward, and I’m tired of letting you down,” he said firmly, reaching to hold Reid’s face in his hands. “He’ll pay for this,” said Luke, his voice still shaking, but there was a bitterness there that startled even him. “I’m going to make him pay for this.”
Part Five