Leaving Thailand,Chaper One
It is 1 AM, or 4AM it’s hard to tell, even if time passes at the same rate for all stationary travelers. The floor of the BKK Check-in arena is relatively quiet. Only a few open terminals, at least 20 acres of open polished floors, and 50 feet of still air between here and the ceiling. A perfect place for blowing giant soap bubbles from the elevated restaurant level, or for paper airplanes… I have a Frisbee in my bag…
I’d rather be on a plane that left 11 hours ago, but sadly it seems I can’t stay legally in Thailand, and I can’t legally go home.
I was proud of my “OE” one-year multiple-entry non-immigrant visa. I was very worried about extending my stay here back in March, but I found a way with perseverance and luck to get the most coveted and unrestricting Thai Visa known to civilized man. Today (no, yesterday) the particular order of entry/exit stamps and this visa did not please the Thai passport control official. He decided that my “OE” visa, lacking a matching entry stamp, was still dormant, it’s powers to ward off immigration police and the small gods of the border checkpoints un-realized, leaving me vulnerable to his own 20,000 Baht voodoo curse. I explained that I had tried to do the right thing. This was an honest mistake. This was not a case of gross negligence, but a very small mistake not worthy of this “full force of the law” response. I smiled. They say you can diffuse almost any situation with a Thai authority figure with a continual smile and a willingness to “work things out personally.” He did not smile. His subordinates gathered, and passed around my passport, pointing at the visa and entry stamps. He interrupted my attempts at placation by writing notes into two log books, making two photocopies, dropping them into a filing cabinet, stamping “CANCELLED” twice on my entry slip, and writing a note “128 days overstay” on my passport. The subordinates seemed to admire his “by the book approach.” The key to “working things out personally” is not having witnesses. And not having records already filed. I called my Thai friend. She spoke to him on the phone. It made no difference. He told me I could avoid the same mistake the “next time” I came to Thailand. Land of Smiles. Next Time. Right.
I went looking for 20,000 Baht. This is about $620. My checking account was already nearly zero. My credit cards had the headroom, but would not extend a cash advance to a foreign location. I found a Western Union Desk at 3:50. This Western Union desk closes at 4:00 PM. I tried to get the money out from under my overdraft protection. It would be just enough. The ATM had a 10,000B limit. Then a 5000B limit. Then a 2000B limit. Then a 1000B limit. Each withdrawal transaction caused another overdraft charge. I got only 18,000 in my hand before I was cut off. I returned to the passport control desk with 18k, hoping for a break. The official seemed merely disgusted. He hustled me to the check-in desk and declared that I would not be on this flight. “If you can’t pay, call your embassy for help.” The airline rep said I still had 15 minutes to get 2000B together before they disengaged the loading ramp. I called my brother Tim in California. Though somewhat groggy at 2AM he caught on to my predicament quickly and tried to transfer funds to my checking account online. As he silently worked though menu options, I said helpful things like “5 minutes left- talk to me!” My cell phone ran out of credit. It didn’t happen in time. He later discovered it was only possible to do during branch hours anyway. I tried to sell my 8 MB ipod to a few bystanders for 2000B. Good deal, no takers.
I got my checked bags back without too much trouble. My stuff and I would share the same fate, at least. I asked to re-schedule. The check-in lady gave me the reservations phone number and their office hours: 8:30AM to 5:00PM. It was by now 5:10. Four hours later I called Bob- 7:00 AM California time. My cell phone ran out of credit again. No worries- I had 18,000B in cash. I could buy $10 phone cards all day. Called Bob again. Two hours later he put $1500 in my checking account. Good old Bob.
I called the airline office in San Francisco at least they were open. The helpful man and the $0.30 a minute connection got me on the next flight to Taipei at 5:00 PM, just 18 hours in the future. I would have to wait for the Bangkok office to open to arrange any further progress between Taipei and San Francisco. Only 9.5 hours to wait until the Bangkok office opens…I can wander aimlessly for a while…pushing my baggage cart over the acres and acres of polished floor…
The hallucinations have started. Nothing scary, very subtle. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a blue reproduction of “The Thinker.” Upon direct inspection, it proved to be only my bags.
Just me, more time, space, and quiet music. Remember the “pill time” song from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? That’s it. That’s what’s playing right now.
I’d rather be on a plane that left 11 hours ago, but sadly it seems I can’t stay legally in Thailand, and I can’t legally go home.
I was proud of my “OE” one-year multiple-entry non-immigrant visa. I was very worried about extending my stay here back in March, but I found a way with perseverance and luck to get the most coveted and unrestricting Thai Visa known to civilized man. Today (no, yesterday) the particular order of entry/exit stamps and this visa did not please the Thai passport control official. He decided that my “OE” visa, lacking a matching entry stamp, was still dormant, it’s powers to ward off immigration police and the small gods of the border checkpoints un-realized, leaving me vulnerable to his own 20,000 Baht voodoo curse. I explained that I had tried to do the right thing. This was an honest mistake. This was not a case of gross negligence, but a very small mistake not worthy of this “full force of the law” response. I smiled. They say you can diffuse almost any situation with a Thai authority figure with a continual smile and a willingness to “work things out personally.” He did not smile. His subordinates gathered, and passed around my passport, pointing at the visa and entry stamps. He interrupted my attempts at placation by writing notes into two log books, making two photocopies, dropping them into a filing cabinet, stamping “CANCELLED” twice on my entry slip, and writing a note “128 days overstay” on my passport. The subordinates seemed to admire his “by the book approach.” The key to “working things out personally” is not having witnesses. And not having records already filed. I called my Thai friend. She spoke to him on the phone. It made no difference. He told me I could avoid the same mistake the “next time” I came to Thailand. Land of Smiles. Next Time. Right.
I went looking for 20,000 Baht. This is about $620. My checking account was already nearly zero. My credit cards had the headroom, but would not extend a cash advance to a foreign location. I found a Western Union Desk at 3:50. This Western Union desk closes at 4:00 PM. I tried to get the money out from under my overdraft protection. It would be just enough. The ATM had a 10,000B limit. Then a 5000B limit. Then a 2000B limit. Then a 1000B limit. Each withdrawal transaction caused another overdraft charge. I got only 18,000 in my hand before I was cut off. I returned to the passport control desk with 18k, hoping for a break. The official seemed merely disgusted. He hustled me to the check-in desk and declared that I would not be on this flight. “If you can’t pay, call your embassy for help.” The airline rep said I still had 15 minutes to get 2000B together before they disengaged the loading ramp. I called my brother Tim in California. Though somewhat groggy at 2AM he caught on to my predicament quickly and tried to transfer funds to my checking account online. As he silently worked though menu options, I said helpful things like “5 minutes left- talk to me!” My cell phone ran out of credit. It didn’t happen in time. He later discovered it was only possible to do during branch hours anyway. I tried to sell my 8 MB ipod to a few bystanders for 2000B. Good deal, no takers.
I got my checked bags back without too much trouble. My stuff and I would share the same fate, at least. I asked to re-schedule. The check-in lady gave me the reservations phone number and their office hours: 8:30AM to 5:00PM. It was by now 5:10. Four hours later I called Bob- 7:00 AM California time. My cell phone ran out of credit again. No worries- I had 18,000B in cash. I could buy $10 phone cards all day. Called Bob again. Two hours later he put $1500 in my checking account. Good old Bob.
I called the airline office in San Francisco at least they were open. The helpful man and the $0.30 a minute connection got me on the next flight to Taipei at 5:00 PM, just 18 hours in the future. I would have to wait for the Bangkok office to open to arrange any further progress between Taipei and San Francisco. Only 9.5 hours to wait until the Bangkok office opens…I can wander aimlessly for a while…pushing my baggage cart over the acres and acres of polished floor…
The hallucinations have started. Nothing scary, very subtle. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a blue reproduction of “The Thinker.” Upon direct inspection, it proved to be only my bags.
Just me, more time, space, and quiet music. Remember the “pill time” song from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? That’s it. That’s what’s playing right now.