On SAPA and my second family
Amidst the unpleasantness generally afflicting the world, many of my friends, and some of my family - and me personally, I struggle to sometimes count my blessings. A posting on a friend's LJ about how her SAPA training helped her, and another's remembrences of our past few years on Cast got me thinking about how being SAPA has drastically changed me.
I've always been fairly self-confident, but it was a brittle confidence, and I really felt that I had accomplished little in life to warrant it, as several of my lifelong dreams were stillborn - including acting.
Deep down, I've always loved acting, but never had very much opportunity to do much about that love. My last experience - a small speaking part in a community theater production of Damn Yankees (I got to play the sleazeball owner of the ball club) was loads of fun, but I was very much aware of how much harder I had to struggle with memorization than most of my fellow actors. I knew it would never be worth the effort to take acting classes and graduate to larger parts because I would never in a million years be able to memorize them. This broke my heart and I put aside my aspirations as yet another failed dream.
Then, of course, I gradually realized that for the cast of Scarborough, memorization was not required, and I began to dream again. Making it through auditions was a tremendous boost to my ego, and that first whirlwind year ended with a realization that, by God, I COULD DO THIS. I could learn all the material thrown at us in workshops and want more. I could get up in front of perfect strangers and act furious, goofy, stern, dutiful, clumsy, clueless or anything else. I could take a leadership position in the Guard and not totally bollocks it up. I could handle that most terrifying of events - Opening Gate - and make restless folk impatiently waiting for the gates to open to stop and watch me...and be entertained. Most of all, I got the chance to learn with and from the smartest group of people I know, and to feel like might be good enough to be one of them.
All the improv games, the quickwittedness training, the voice lessons, the all-around people skills imparted to me over the last 3 years have had a noticible effect at work and at home. I am happier, more confident, and, I feel, a better person for having been around SAPA. I know that some SAPAites get less, and some get more out of being on Cast, but for me it has been a blessing that I will count the rest of my life.
So thanks to all who have mentored me, let me play in the sandbox and bid me welcome. I appreciate you more than I can say.
Cheers, all.