indians are hung
I'm sitting here reading the infos and away messages of the people I hate; a habit surely I'm not alone in having. I cannot help but think of someone and how unfortunate it'd be if they were to turn out like those fucks. It makes me really sad to think about. I'm not really sure if this person reads this, but if you do, don't turn out to be a fucker. Please.
My "friends" left me at Wegmans tonight so I walked home. And sadly, the walk home was probably more enjoyable than whatever might've happened if I had remained with them. Walks at night are really fun, and interesting. I realize this sounds creepy but looking into people's houses is really cool. Just to see what kind of people they are. To see what they're watching on television. To see their shrines of ugly family photos. I saw one fat man sweeping his floor without a shirt. I saw another guy meditating to a blank TV screen. I saw two college girls dancing with each other in t-shirts. I said "hi" to a man on a cell phone and he looked at me like I was crazy. I wish we didn't isolate ourselves so much. I do it too. People are so scary. I think thats just American culture though. I wonder if its like that everywhere, maybe it's a human characteristic...
I've been trying to write songs more frequently. I have a few from now and before that I've written. It seems impossible to judge your own writing unbiasedly. It probably gets easier once you know what "good writing" is, however, I doubt that anything I write is good, otherwise, I would know it is good.
Kaetii thinks that to be "in love" with someone, they have to love you back. I'm not sure if I agree with that or not. I suppose I just don't really want to believe it. By that defition however... I'm not "in love". By my, undefined definiton, I am quite hopelessly in love. It's a good thing no one reads this, because that's sort of an embarrasing thing to admit up to, according to the imposed social standards. Admitting to what you feel will never be easy.
I still feel really lost. Really fucking lost. I don't think anyone knows where the fuck they are. I can really only think of one thing that'd make me feel found. And what I'm referring to will probably never happen... So I guess I should turn to religion. Because that's what people do. When they're all raped and beaten and lost, only one of which I am. Put faith in something you cannot see, something that you cannot touch, something entirely intangible and invisible. Because we're humans and this sort of thing just makes sense, right? Or is it because we always let each other down ? Or is it because my fucking contacts are making my eyeballs sting?
I watched the Station Agent tonight. I really enjoyed it. I suggest that all of the imaginary people who read this go out and rent it.
just keep counting the stars
like someday you'll find out
just how many there are
and we all can go home
'cuz there's nothing as sad
as a man on his back
counting stars
Everyone has to see this photo because it's my favorite ever. Self-Portrait With Grandchildren In the Funhouse by my wife, Imogen.
I'm sorry that I choose you. And that I ruined your life.
I wish I had someone to stay up all night and talk with again. I'm bored and havn't gone to bed this early since 4th grade. Goodnight.
My "friends" left me at Wegmans tonight so I walked home. And sadly, the walk home was probably more enjoyable than whatever might've happened if I had remained with them. Walks at night are really fun, and interesting. I realize this sounds creepy but looking into people's houses is really cool. Just to see what kind of people they are. To see what they're watching on television. To see their shrines of ugly family photos. I saw one fat man sweeping his floor without a shirt. I saw another guy meditating to a blank TV screen. I saw two college girls dancing with each other in t-shirts. I said "hi" to a man on a cell phone and he looked at me like I was crazy. I wish we didn't isolate ourselves so much. I do it too. People are so scary. I think thats just American culture though. I wonder if its like that everywhere, maybe it's a human characteristic...
I've been trying to write songs more frequently. I have a few from now and before that I've written. It seems impossible to judge your own writing unbiasedly. It probably gets easier once you know what "good writing" is, however, I doubt that anything I write is good, otherwise, I would know it is good.
Kaetii thinks that to be "in love" with someone, they have to love you back. I'm not sure if I agree with that or not. I suppose I just don't really want to believe it. By that defition however... I'm not "in love". By my, undefined definiton, I am quite hopelessly in love. It's a good thing no one reads this, because that's sort of an embarrasing thing to admit up to, according to the imposed social standards. Admitting to what you feel will never be easy.
I still feel really lost. Really fucking lost. I don't think anyone knows where the fuck they are. I can really only think of one thing that'd make me feel found. And what I'm referring to will probably never happen... So I guess I should turn to religion. Because that's what people do. When they're all raped and beaten and lost, only one of which I am. Put faith in something you cannot see, something that you cannot touch, something entirely intangible and invisible. Because we're humans and this sort of thing just makes sense, right? Or is it because we always let each other down ? Or is it because my fucking contacts are making my eyeballs sting?
I watched the Station Agent tonight. I really enjoyed it. I suggest that all of the imaginary people who read this go out and rent it.
just keep counting the stars
like someday you'll find out
just how many there are
and we all can go home
'cuz there's nothing as sad
as a man on his back
counting stars
Everyone has to see this photo because it's my favorite ever. Self-Portrait With Grandchildren In the Funhouse by my wife, Imogen.
I'm sorry that I choose you. And that I ruined your life.
I wish I had someone to stay up all night and talk with again. I'm bored and havn't gone to bed this early since 4th grade. Goodnight.