Something outta paradise
OK, I have some Captain Morgan Rum in Coke, and I am sitting on the front lawn watching the sunset, sunning myself, and updating my LJ. This seems like something out of a dream. Anyway, onto stuff.
Mikaela comes up here next week, and I am only too excited for it all. I think shes excited too, but some times I feel, due to my insecurities, that she just says it and doesn't mean it. I told her its hard for me to believe what she says about her feelings for me, because it is not tried and true yet. I was hurt in the last relationship, pretty badly, because a girl changed her feelings on me spur of the moment. Anyway, enough of that.
I started writing Mik a lighthearted poem about how I feel about her, and where I thought we were going. The point was to urdge us in that direction, but then it only came out as notes for the poem, which in turn became organized into a long note to her. I feel we need to choose soon, like now, where we are going. Its obvious that we are going that way, but she seems to be dragging her feet. Actually, we havn't talked about it straight up like this, but we will this time. I intend to sit her down, like when we are on a date or something, and read her this. I expect that it will end that particular date, in fact I intend to also excuse myself. It will be pretty hard hitting, and I want her to think about it. I am pretty sure she doesn't read this LJ, but even if she does she will know in advance what we will talk about.
I don't want to fool around, I want to go for it. I am used to jumping without thinking, but hey, whats life without risk? I would much rather remind myself of my human nature by pain then by avoiding it altogether.
I got today off, and I got tomorrow morning off. I think I will go surfing tomorrow. Actually, I boogie-board, and some people think thats not surfing, but like my neighbor Beau puts it "I am out in the surf, riding the surf. Don't bother me with technicalities." Its been so danged windy here, its hard to push out into the waves. I need fins.
Me and Beau are BBQ'ing tonight, and maybe watching a movie. Later all ...
Mikaela comes up here next week, and I am only too excited for it all. I think shes excited too, but some times I feel, due to my insecurities, that she just says it and doesn't mean it. I told her its hard for me to believe what she says about her feelings for me, because it is not tried and true yet. I was hurt in the last relationship, pretty badly, because a girl changed her feelings on me spur of the moment. Anyway, enough of that.
I started writing Mik a lighthearted poem about how I feel about her, and where I thought we were going. The point was to urdge us in that direction, but then it only came out as notes for the poem, which in turn became organized into a long note to her. I feel we need to choose soon, like now, where we are going. Its obvious that we are going that way, but she seems to be dragging her feet. Actually, we havn't talked about it straight up like this, but we will this time. I intend to sit her down, like when we are on a date or something, and read her this. I expect that it will end that particular date, in fact I intend to also excuse myself. It will be pretty hard hitting, and I want her to think about it. I am pretty sure she doesn't read this LJ, but even if she does she will know in advance what we will talk about.
I don't want to fool around, I want to go for it. I am used to jumping without thinking, but hey, whats life without risk? I would much rather remind myself of my human nature by pain then by avoiding it altogether.
I got today off, and I got tomorrow morning off. I think I will go surfing tomorrow. Actually, I boogie-board, and some people think thats not surfing, but like my neighbor Beau puts it "I am out in the surf, riding the surf. Don't bother me with technicalities." Its been so danged windy here, its hard to push out into the waves. I need fins.
Me and Beau are BBQ'ing tonight, and maybe watching a movie. Later all ...