Romance, Honesty and Responsibility
Tuesday it took forever to Josh to meet me. Me and Lee went to the mall for hours. I got to try on some really pretty dresses and we talked a lot. I held his hand when I was cold but it was a fun day.
When we met up with Josh, hours later, we saw the Animal. There was tension in the air which wasn't really eased until after I was home and alone. Me and Josh talked and I told him exactly how I feel. I felt a lot better. He really understood and took it well.
Later that night it started raining and me and Lee danced to it. It was great to finally once find a song I had a bad memory with, dance to it, have a romantic moment and nothing messed it up. For the first time, nothing went wrong.
I also took him back into the woods where I was once attacked and strangled in a paint ball game. It was the first time I had been back there since the experience and a lot had changed. I saw it all how it was that one day though. It was like I was back at that time again with Tristan by my side. I knew the exact place I had fallen, I could see where Chance and Andy had been standing, where all our paintball stuff was, where the splattered paint balls had been and everything. I knew where the sun was and could see it all has I had last seen it months ago. I swear I could have closed my eyes and seen it all as if I was reliving it again. I saw Chances face, Austins, and Tristan when his eyes were filled with worry and concern for me. For a while I just fell silent. I could have told the story but when I went there, it all became fresh again in my mind. The little things that you forget as time passes were right there with me. There were a lot of emotions, parts of my life, parts of me and thoughts that went on there. I looked at it like a cemetery. We left after that. I stopped by Krogers, which was closed, went to the gas station and then went home and talked to Josh and Lee.
It was after that that I was talking to Josh about how I felt and all these thoughts that had been running through my mind and affecting me. He called me and I kind of remember hanging up the phone. He knew sleep would be my main concentration and having a conversation with him came in second.
Today I went to work, tried to give blood (my iron is still too low), hung out with Lee, went and played pool and air hockey at Lazer Quest, then hugn out with Val and some of her friends. Needless to say I didn't feel like I belonged and kept pretty quiet. I picked up my car from Lee's when his mom asked me where he was. I wasn't going to lie and she had seen us get into Valeries car. I don't think she's very upset with me but I did help her try to track him down.
When we met up with Josh, hours later, we saw the Animal. There was tension in the air which wasn't really eased until after I was home and alone. Me and Josh talked and I told him exactly how I feel. I felt a lot better. He really understood and took it well.
Later that night it started raining and me and Lee danced to it. It was great to finally once find a song I had a bad memory with, dance to it, have a romantic moment and nothing messed it up. For the first time, nothing went wrong.
I also took him back into the woods where I was once attacked and strangled in a paint ball game. It was the first time I had been back there since the experience and a lot had changed. I saw it all how it was that one day though. It was like I was back at that time again with Tristan by my side. I knew the exact place I had fallen, I could see where Chance and Andy had been standing, where all our paintball stuff was, where the splattered paint balls had been and everything. I knew where the sun was and could see it all has I had last seen it months ago. I swear I could have closed my eyes and seen it all as if I was reliving it again. I saw Chances face, Austins, and Tristan when his eyes were filled with worry and concern for me. For a while I just fell silent. I could have told the story but when I went there, it all became fresh again in my mind. The little things that you forget as time passes were right there with me. There were a lot of emotions, parts of my life, parts of me and thoughts that went on there. I looked at it like a cemetery. We left after that. I stopped by Krogers, which was closed, went to the gas station and then went home and talked to Josh and Lee.
It was after that that I was talking to Josh about how I felt and all these thoughts that had been running through my mind and affecting me. He called me and I kind of remember hanging up the phone. He knew sleep would be my main concentration and having a conversation with him came in second.
Today I went to work, tried to give blood (my iron is still too low), hung out with Lee, went and played pool and air hockey at Lazer Quest, then hugn out with Val and some of her friends. Needless to say I didn't feel like I belonged and kept pretty quiet. I picked up my car from Lee's when his mom asked me where he was. I wasn't going to lie and she had seen us get into Valeries car. I don't think she's very upset with me but I did help her try to track him down.