WEll FUck
WEll, FUck, I don't really know what is going on with Alex right now... I am trying to figure out what in the fuck is going on but, I don't have any clue on how to interperate shit... I have been told that it is not a good idea to make a move right now; and I value the opinion of the person who told me that very much... ON the other hand I don't want things to happen where I don't get my chance again... I love her very much and don't understand what to do... I know that she seems to be sending off very strong signals... I however, don't know how to interperate things like that... I am a newb when it comes to women... On one hand I can wait I have done it forever anyway... On the other hand I am fucking tired of waiting... I want a relationship and I really want one with her... I don't know what to do... If I miss my chance again and there was a relationship to be had, I will be fucking pissed... If she doesn't want a relationship with me then she needs to fucking stop sending those signals... I was told by some that she might not even realize that she is sending those signals... I hope that is not the case... I hope that just spending time with her we can build something that lasts and also turns into a fruitfull relationship... All I know is that I will cherish the time that I have with her... All the time that we spend together makes me happy... I will be there for her no matter what... If it takes me hiding these feelings so she can be happy, then I will... If she can see her being happy with me I just wish she would take a chance... I doubt she reads this so idk... I have too many delusions in my mind... I create a picture that I wish to happen and then I am broken when things don't turn my way... That is a fault that I need to change...
I miss spending time with Audra and Kirsten... Then again if they did want to spen time with me I have no car... That is putting a damper on my entire life... I need a car to get to a better job... I need a better job to get a car... WTF am I supposed to do... I need a car so I can hopefully spend time with Kirsten and/or Audra this summer... This summer will surely suck if I don't get to see them at all...
Why does my mind have to be soo fucked with everything going on... I have so many things rolling around in my head... THey seem to collide and I can't think straight...
Plah! I hate this shit; but I guess there is no reason to keep complaining... Things will get better... At least I hope... If not then I guess I will find out soon...
I think I am gonna ask Alex out soon... Permitting the signals that I seem to get... I hope it goes the way I wish... Others tell me that when they see that way that she looks at me, they can tell... THey can tell that she cares for me deeply... I only hope that is true...
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E. A. Poe
Romance, who loves to nod and sing. With drowsy head and folded wing.
From every depth of good and ill. The mystery which binds me still.
I miss spending time with Audra and Kirsten... Then again if they did want to spen time with me I have no car... That is putting a damper on my entire life... I need a car to get to a better job... I need a better job to get a car... WTF am I supposed to do... I need a car so I can hopefully spend time with Kirsten and/or Audra this summer... This summer will surely suck if I don't get to see them at all...
Why does my mind have to be soo fucked with everything going on... I have so many things rolling around in my head... THey seem to collide and I can't think straight...
Plah! I hate this shit; but I guess there is no reason to keep complaining... Things will get better... At least I hope... If not then I guess I will find out soon...
I think I am gonna ask Alex out soon... Permitting the signals that I seem to get... I hope it goes the way I wish... Others tell me that when they see that way that she looks at me, they can tell... THey can tell that she cares for me deeply... I only hope that is true...
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E. A. Poe
Romance, who loves to nod and sing. With drowsy head and folded wing.
From every depth of good and ill. The mystery which binds me still.