Quasi-crack!fic recs (Dead Like Me, M*A*S*H, Due South, House).
We could probably argue about whether some or all of the following are properly crack!fics according to standard usage (is there even such a thing anymore, in fandom?), but we won't. Basically, these are recs of stories which feature either improbable situations, dubious characterizations, or both--and which concurrently satisfy a deep, inner craving for gigantic lollypops with rainbow swirls and smiley faces on them. *slurp*
Even my crack!fic or quasi-crack!fic has to meet certain standards, however, or I cannot deal. Characters may be pleasantly off-kilter, but should bear at least a passing resemblance to their canonical counterparts. The writing should be competent at minimum and the text should be fairly clean. It shouldn't be posted exclusively on fanfiction.net, and there shouldn't be zombies involved. (I know that some of you folks like zombies. I do not care for zombies.)
Various stories by thisiszircon (Dead Like Me, George/Rube) - If you're anything like me, you love you some DLM. You also have a Daddy thing, and you often wish that Mandy Patinkin would hold you in his neurotic, Jewish, masculine arms. So you surely wouldn't want to miss the complete DLM works of thisiszircon, featuring a George/Rube pairing so preternaturally sweet as to induce Reaper diabetes. The author's portrayal of Rube is decidedly off--he's much too simplistic and insufficiently dour here--but she's captured just enough of his voice to keep you from ditching. George, on the other hand, isn't bad at all (except when she says "man-hair"), and Penny's appearances are lovely. Plus the writing is well above average and clearly conscientious, mechanics-wise.
Of deeper import anyhow is the fact that thisiszircon and I apparently share a fantasy life, because her standard formula for this pairing pushes every single one of my buttons--leans on them, actually, with elbows and buttcheeks and whatever else is handy. I'm particularly fond of Be Very Afraid..., which finds George and Rube SHOPPING FOR LEATHER JACKETS TOGETHER and then SNUGGLING IN THE PARK where he CALLS HER "SWEETHEART" LIKE EIGHTEEN TIMES. Yes. These fabulously goofy things make me dizzy with elevated blood sugar happiness.
It Happened One Night and Foot Inspection by La Reine Bleu (M*A*S*H, Hawkeye/B.J.) - Speaking of goofy, there's La Reine Bleu's M*A*S*H slash. First off, you have to acknowledge that "M*A*S*H slash" is darned fun to say. Then you have to read these two stories, neither of which is actually terribly OOC--I really like her Hawkeye--but both of which revolve around woefully and wonderfully contrived situations. "It Happened One Night" is especially noteworthy for its brazen opening scene: B.J. has a nightmare! And Hawkeye comforts him! By jerking him off! It's right up my alley, frankly, and you don't see enough of it from decent fanfic writers anymore because it's sooo cliché. Give me a good nightmare-based h/c scene anytime, I say, slash or otherwise. And while I could maybe live without the subsequent pages of agonizing over whether h/c-brand sex Means Anything, the goofy-to-the-max resolution of "It Happened One Night" simply belongs there. Awwww.
And then there's "Foot Inspection"--short, ridiculous, and startlingly sexy. If you don't already have a foot fetish going into it (which I rather suspect the author does, since there's an awful lot of chatter about feet in IHON, too), this fic will kick you soundly in that direction.
The Fan by Manna LeDroit (Due South, Fraser/RayV) - Fraser and Ray get hero-napped and some weird shit happens. This is crack!fic, even for the magically realist dS. But that isn't the only reason I'm so affectionately forgiving when it comes to the story's major and minor plot points, a great many of which are just silly, Ray. The author has a way of weaving a tale that sucks you in like a Hoover. Her language, style, and structure--all simple, yet not simplistic--together build a pleasantly mesmerizing rhythm that retains its draw throughout. So what if her Fraser hits some awfully weak notes; he also takes center stage in the greatest shower scene, like, ever. I would send you there for that alone.
Twilight, After the Fall, and Paying the Price by Mer (House, House & Wilson friendship) - Ahh, early Mer. Before her House and Wilson got all properly fucked up and IC and stuff. Hrmph, maturing writers--I disapprove. Anyway, before that happened, you had stories like these, which I described elsewhere as semi-high-quality junk food: Not Godiva, but not President's Choice, you know? Maybe Hershey's Special Dark. The characterization is bearably, necessarily off in order to serve the kinds of iron-on h/c fantasies that you typically sit around wishing someone else would write: House and Wilson bonding on the Magical Balcony at dusk ("Twilight"); Wilson's brother committing suicide ("After the Fall"); and my personal favorite, Wilson choking on a piece of apple ("Paying the Price"), a plotline that cracks me up every time I think about it. I carry a special fondness for these warm-hearted, sugary fics in light of what's become of canon, and I bet you will, too.
Even my crack!fic or quasi-crack!fic has to meet certain standards, however, or I cannot deal. Characters may be pleasantly off-kilter, but should bear at least a passing resemblance to their canonical counterparts. The writing should be competent at minimum and the text should be fairly clean. It shouldn't be posted exclusively on fanfiction.net, and there shouldn't be zombies involved. (I know that some of you folks like zombies. I do not care for zombies.)
Various stories by thisiszircon (Dead Like Me, George/Rube) - If you're anything like me, you love you some DLM. You also have a Daddy thing, and you often wish that Mandy Patinkin would hold you in his neurotic, Jewish, masculine arms. So you surely wouldn't want to miss the complete DLM works of thisiszircon, featuring a George/Rube pairing so preternaturally sweet as to induce Reaper diabetes. The author's portrayal of Rube is decidedly off--he's much too simplistic and insufficiently dour here--but she's captured just enough of his voice to keep you from ditching. George, on the other hand, isn't bad at all (except when she says "man-hair"), and Penny's appearances are lovely. Plus the writing is well above average and clearly conscientious, mechanics-wise.
Of deeper import anyhow is the fact that thisiszircon and I apparently share a fantasy life, because her standard formula for this pairing pushes every single one of my buttons--leans on them, actually, with elbows and buttcheeks and whatever else is handy. I'm particularly fond of Be Very Afraid..., which finds George and Rube SHOPPING FOR LEATHER JACKETS TOGETHER and then SNUGGLING IN THE PARK where he CALLS HER "SWEETHEART" LIKE EIGHTEEN TIMES. Yes. These fabulously goofy things make me dizzy with elevated blood sugar happiness.
It Happened One Night and Foot Inspection by La Reine Bleu (M*A*S*H, Hawkeye/B.J.) - Speaking of goofy, there's La Reine Bleu's M*A*S*H slash. First off, you have to acknowledge that "M*A*S*H slash" is darned fun to say. Then you have to read these two stories, neither of which is actually terribly OOC--I really like her Hawkeye--but both of which revolve around woefully and wonderfully contrived situations. "It Happened One Night" is especially noteworthy for its brazen opening scene: B.J. has a nightmare! And Hawkeye comforts him! By jerking him off! It's right up my alley, frankly, and you don't see enough of it from decent fanfic writers anymore because it's sooo cliché. Give me a good nightmare-based h/c scene anytime, I say, slash or otherwise. And while I could maybe live without the subsequent pages of agonizing over whether h/c-brand sex Means Anything, the goofy-to-the-max resolution of "It Happened One Night" simply belongs there. Awwww.
And then there's "Foot Inspection"--short, ridiculous, and startlingly sexy. If you don't already have a foot fetish going into it (which I rather suspect the author does, since there's an awful lot of chatter about feet in IHON, too), this fic will kick you soundly in that direction.
The Fan by Manna LeDroit (Due South, Fraser/RayV) - Fraser and Ray get hero-napped and some weird shit happens. This is crack!fic, even for the magically realist dS. But that isn't the only reason I'm so affectionately forgiving when it comes to the story's major and minor plot points, a great many of which are just silly, Ray. The author has a way of weaving a tale that sucks you in like a Hoover. Her language, style, and structure--all simple, yet not simplistic--together build a pleasantly mesmerizing rhythm that retains its draw throughout. So what if her Fraser hits some awfully weak notes; he also takes center stage in the greatest shower scene, like, ever. I would send you there for that alone.
Twilight, After the Fall, and Paying the Price by Mer (House, House & Wilson friendship) - Ahh, early Mer. Before her House and Wilson got all properly fucked up and IC and stuff. Hrmph, maturing writers--I disapprove. Anyway, before that happened, you had stories like these, which I described elsewhere as semi-high-quality junk food: Not Godiva, but not President's Choice, you know? Maybe Hershey's Special Dark. The characterization is bearably, necessarily off in order to serve the kinds of iron-on h/c fantasies that you typically sit around wishing someone else would write: House and Wilson bonding on the Magical Balcony at dusk ("Twilight"); Wilson's brother committing suicide ("After the Fall"); and my personal favorite, Wilson choking on a piece of apple ("Paying the Price"), a plotline that cracks me up every time I think about it. I carry a special fondness for these warm-hearted, sugary fics in light of what's become of canon, and I bet you will, too.