Icarus - Chapter IV
Title: Icarus - Chapter IV
Author: Melly aka squoctobird
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. As far as I know the play 'Icarus' does not exist, and is based on the Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus.
Fandom: BTR
Pairings/Characters: James is the main character, but this will contain some slash.
Rating: M
Summary: AU Inspired by Black Swan. James is obsessed with getting the lead in the musical of the story ICARUS. What happens when he finally gets the role of a lifetime? Will he be able to handle the pressure to be perfect?
+ Thanks to Sharon, Keith, Elyse and Andy.
James was in his bedroom changing out of his tuxedo as his mother was putting away some laundry.
“So, did you had a good time tonight?”
He paused a moment, hesitating. He was unsure if he should tell her about his uncomfortable meeting with Gustavo. He decided against it.
“Yeah. It was great, mom.”
He placed his jacket on a hanger and laid it on his bed before starting to undo his tie. He tossed that on top of his jacket and reached up to unbutton his shirt.
“I wish I could have been there.”
James let out a deep sigh, dropping his arms to his sides as he turned to look at her. He hated when she would get like this. Full of regret and brokenhearted over things that might have been. It always made him feel so guilty.
“I asked you to come,” he replied.
His mother joined him in front of the mirror and gave him a sad smile. She understood that this was James’ moment, not hers. She had to let him shine and not let her broken hopes cast a shadow.
“I know. I know,” she said, shushing him as she grabbed the end of his sleeve to help remove his cufflinks.
“Mom, I’m not a child,” he said, pulling away from her. “I can do it myself.”
She looked at him suspiciously. “What are you hiding?”
“Nothing.”
She grabbed his arm roughly and hastily removed his cufflinks before shoving the sleeve up to his elbow. His forearm was littered with faded scars of thin straight lines, but a few fresh, inflamed red lines stood out close to his wrist.
“You’ve been cutting again,” she said firmly.
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me!” she screamed.
“No! No, mom, I haven’t! I swear!”
She had his wrist in a vice grip as she dragged him down the hall to the bathroom. She forced James out of his clothes, stripping him down to his boxers to inspect every inch of skin. She found similar red lines on his other wrist.
“I though you had outgrown this, James,” her voice was laced with disappointment and contempt. “Is it because of the role?”
James didn’t answer.
“I knew the pressure would be too much for you.”
“Mom, please. It’s not what-”
“Where are they, James? Where are the blades?” She refused to listen to his excuses.
Brooke was hysterical as she pulled open drawers and cabinets, throwing their contents on the floor. When she didn’t locate anything in the bathroom she headed back into his room.
She dumped all of his drawers on the floor, sifting through socks and underwear for the hidden silver object. Soon she slammed open his closet door then pulled out every piece of clothing and searched every pocket.
“Tell me where you’re hiding them, James. Tell me!” she screamed.
James cringed at the sounds coming from his bedroom. He just sat on the edge of the tub with tears in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his torso trying to cover himself. He felt humiliated although there was no one besides his mother to see him so vulnerable.
---
James awoke the next morning lost in a sea of blankets. There was a dull throbbing pain in his temples and the burden from the night before was still heavy on his heart. His breathing was ragged and a bit shaky, but it grew stronger with every exhale. For awhile he just lay there breathing, too tired to open his eyes, but too awake to go back to sleep.
He finally gained the strength to open his eyes but cringed at the glare from the window. He blinked. His eyelashes were sticky from crying and his vision was blurry with sleep. He rubbed his eyes and let out a loud yawn.
As he stretched, he felt his morning erection rub against his boxers causing a small amount of pleasure at the friction. His mind drifted to his conversation with Gustavo. ‘Touch yourself’ the man had said.
It wasn’t like James had never masturbated before, but he honestly didn’t do it that often. Maybe he needed to change that. Maybe he really couldn’t let himself go on stage if he couldn’t even let himself go in the privacy of his own bedroom.
James wrapped a tentative hand around his member and started to slowly stroke himself. He whimpered at the pleasure the friction created. As his speed increased, he felt heat rise through his body and down to his toes. His breathing increased and he began panting harshly. James felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge. His desire was at it’s peak and he could hardly stand it any longer. He threw his head back against his pillow, thrashing from side to side as he reached the point of ecstasy. All he needed was a few more strokes and-
James froze and his eyes shot open when he heard the rustling nearby. He looked towards the location of the sound and saw his mother sleeping in the chair next to his bed. He immediately removed his hand from around his cock and fought the urge to vomit. He was completely mortified. Careful not to wake her, James slid out of bed quickly and headed to the bathroom for a cold shower.
Author: Melly aka squoctobird
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. As far as I know the play 'Icarus' does not exist, and is based on the Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus.
Fandom: BTR
Pairings/Characters: James is the main character, but this will contain some slash.
Rating: M
Summary: AU Inspired by Black Swan. James is obsessed with getting the lead in the musical of the story ICARUS. What happens when he finally gets the role of a lifetime? Will he be able to handle the pressure to be perfect?
+ Thanks to Sharon, Keith, Elyse and Andy.
James was in his bedroom changing out of his tuxedo as his mother was putting away some laundry.
“So, did you had a good time tonight?”
He paused a moment, hesitating. He was unsure if he should tell her about his uncomfortable meeting with Gustavo. He decided against it.
“Yeah. It was great, mom.”
He placed his jacket on a hanger and laid it on his bed before starting to undo his tie. He tossed that on top of his jacket and reached up to unbutton his shirt.
“I wish I could have been there.”
James let out a deep sigh, dropping his arms to his sides as he turned to look at her. He hated when she would get like this. Full of regret and brokenhearted over things that might have been. It always made him feel so guilty.
“I asked you to come,” he replied.
His mother joined him in front of the mirror and gave him a sad smile. She understood that this was James’ moment, not hers. She had to let him shine and not let her broken hopes cast a shadow.
“I know. I know,” she said, shushing him as she grabbed the end of his sleeve to help remove his cufflinks.
“Mom, I’m not a child,” he said, pulling away from her. “I can do it myself.”
She looked at him suspiciously. “What are you hiding?”
“Nothing.”
She grabbed his arm roughly and hastily removed his cufflinks before shoving the sleeve up to his elbow. His forearm was littered with faded scars of thin straight lines, but a few fresh, inflamed red lines stood out close to his wrist.
“You’ve been cutting again,” she said firmly.
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me!” she screamed.
“No! No, mom, I haven’t! I swear!”
She had his wrist in a vice grip as she dragged him down the hall to the bathroom. She forced James out of his clothes, stripping him down to his boxers to inspect every inch of skin. She found similar red lines on his other wrist.
“I though you had outgrown this, James,” her voice was laced with disappointment and contempt. “Is it because of the role?”
James didn’t answer.
“I knew the pressure would be too much for you.”
“Mom, please. It’s not what-”
“Where are they, James? Where are the blades?” She refused to listen to his excuses.
Brooke was hysterical as she pulled open drawers and cabinets, throwing their contents on the floor. When she didn’t locate anything in the bathroom she headed back into his room.
She dumped all of his drawers on the floor, sifting through socks and underwear for the hidden silver object. Soon she slammed open his closet door then pulled out every piece of clothing and searched every pocket.
“Tell me where you’re hiding them, James. Tell me!” she screamed.
James cringed at the sounds coming from his bedroom. He just sat on the edge of the tub with tears in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his torso trying to cover himself. He felt humiliated although there was no one besides his mother to see him so vulnerable.
---
James awoke the next morning lost in a sea of blankets. There was a dull throbbing pain in his temples and the burden from the night before was still heavy on his heart. His breathing was ragged and a bit shaky, but it grew stronger with every exhale. For awhile he just lay there breathing, too tired to open his eyes, but too awake to go back to sleep.
He finally gained the strength to open his eyes but cringed at the glare from the window. He blinked. His eyelashes were sticky from crying and his vision was blurry with sleep. He rubbed his eyes and let out a loud yawn.
As he stretched, he felt his morning erection rub against his boxers causing a small amount of pleasure at the friction. His mind drifted to his conversation with Gustavo. ‘Touch yourself’ the man had said.
It wasn’t like James had never masturbated before, but he honestly didn’t do it that often. Maybe he needed to change that. Maybe he really couldn’t let himself go on stage if he couldn’t even let himself go in the privacy of his own bedroom.
James wrapped a tentative hand around his member and started to slowly stroke himself. He whimpered at the pleasure the friction created. As his speed increased, he felt heat rise through his body and down to his toes. His breathing increased and he began panting harshly. James felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge. His desire was at it’s peak and he could hardly stand it any longer. He threw his head back against his pillow, thrashing from side to side as he reached the point of ecstasy. All he needed was a few more strokes and-
James froze and his eyes shot open when he heard the rustling nearby. He looked towards the location of the sound and saw his mother sleeping in the chair next to his bed. He immediately removed his hand from around his cock and fought the urge to vomit. He was completely mortified. Careful not to wake her, James slid out of bed quickly and headed to the bathroom for a cold shower.