Icarus - Chapter II
Title: Icarus - Chapter II
Author: Melly aka squoctobird
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. As far as I know the play 'Icarus' does not exist, and is based on the Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus.
Fandom: BTR
Pairings/Characters: James is the main character, but this will contain some slash.
Rating: M
Summary: AU Inspired by Black Swan. James is obsessed with getting the lead in the musical of the story ICARUS. What happens when he finally gets the role of a lifetime? Will he be able to handle the pressure to be perfect?
+ Thanks to Sharon for her help and to Andy who has answered all my theater questions.
James stood outside of his apartment door with the key in his hand. He had been standing there for the past five minutes trying to gain the courage to face his mother. She would definitely be upset even though she was good at hiding her true emotions for his sake. But James knew how much of a disappointment this would be; he knew he was a failure of a son.
“It’s now or never,” he said to himself as he took a deep breath and stuck the key in the lock. He turned the key but before he could reach for the knob, the door swung open revealing his distraught mother.
“Oh, my. There you are, James,” she said as she pulled him into a desperate hug. “I’ve been so worried. Why haven’t you answered your phone? Why are you home so late?”
“Calm down, mom,” he said as he gently tried to push her away. “I’m fine. Auditions… ran late.”
Brooke Diamond read right through that lie. Having been in the theater herself, she knew that you could leave when your audition was finished. Plus, James had seniority and would have been one of the first to perform.
She held James at arm’s length and looked him straight in the eye. “James?” Her voice was filled with knowing and concern. That was all it took for him to break. Tears fell down his cheeks and he turned his head to the side. He couldn’t look at her; he couldn’t face her. She pulled him back into a hug and held him close. He buried his face in her shoulder and wept.
“I blew it, mom. I blew it.”
The next morning James couldn’t find it in him to sing in the shower.
---
James entered the theater and didn’t bother to stop to read the cast list. He knew exactly where his name would be, under ensemble. He walked down the hall towards the auditorium where the rest of the troupe would be waiting to begin.
As he made his way to the front of the theater, he received several glares. James felt very uncomfortable. Why were they looking at him like that? Had someone found out what happened with Gustavo? Were they disgusted with him? They probably thought he was some sort of whore, and a bad one at that.
He was about to sit down when his friend Camille engulfed him in a back breaking hug, nearly knocking him over.
“Congratulations, James!” the curly brown haired girl squealed. “You must be so excited.”
He shot her a confused look. “What are you talking about?”
“What am I talking about? Didn’t you check the cast list, James?”
He shook his head with a blank look on his face.
“You got the lead. You’re Icarus!”
“The lead?” he said softly to himself.
He looked up and saw the smile on her face. His eyes went wide with realization and without another word, he turned and walked as fast as he could to the back of the auditorium. His speed increased with each step and quickly turned into a sprint as he headed down the hall to the bulletin board. He slid to a stop, nearly falling over, when he reached his destination.
As he stood there catching his breath, his eyes frantically scanned the cast list looking for his name and there it was in black and white. James Diamond - Icarus. It felt too good to be true. He brought his finger up to the paper and gently ran it over the letters, needing to confirm it tangibly. The biggest smile spread across James’ face as he realized his dream had come true. He reached in his pocket for his cell phone and dialed his mother’s number.
She picked up on the first ring. “James, what’s wrong? You never call while at rehearsal.”
All of sudden, James felt like he couldn’t breath. The words were stuck in his throat. He was so overwhelmed, but he could practically hear his mother starting to panic on her end so he forced air in and out of his lungs.
“Mom. Mom, I’m fine,” he finally managed.
“James?”
“I got it. I got the part. I’m Icarus, mom. I got the lead.”
James’ mother started gushing and singing his praises and he chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Mom, I’ve got to get back to rehearsal, but I just wanted to call and tell you the good news. I love you. I’ll see you when I get home tonight.”
He ended the call and wiped away the tears that had gathered in his eyes. He couldn’t hold back his grin as he walked back to the auditorium and took his seat on the front row.
“Icarus is going to take the Gustavo Rocque Theater Troupe to the next level,” the large stage director said as he paced across the stage. “This will be our most expensive production to date due to the elaborate scenery and special effects.” Gustavo paused and looked directly at James, “I’m counting on all of you to make this a success.”
As he continue to speak, Kelly handed out scripts and music to the members of the troupe. James took his greedily and began to read. He was immediately engrossed in the story and soon even Gustavo’s loud voice was drowned out by James’ imagination. All he could hear was the sound of his own voice singing about the freedom of flying across the sky. He could almost reach the sun-
“Well, thank you for joining us, Logan,” Gustavo yelled with sarcasm, bringing James out of his fantasy.
Everyone in the auditorium turned to look at the boy walking down the aisle. James recognized him immediately as the one who ruined his audition and almost destroyed his dream. Things had worked out for James in the end, so he shouldn’t have any ill feelings towards the stranger, but he did.
He tried his best not to stare, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the almost-dream-destroyer. There was something different about the shorter boy that James was drawn to that he couldn’t quite explain. He was like a moth to a flame.
It wasn’t too long before Logan noticed James’ staring and raised a questioning eyebrow. The taller boy quickly adverted his gaze down to his script. He casually flipped through the pages trying to seem nonchalant but he knew the damage was done. It took an incredible amount of will power for James to not stare for the remainder of the meeting.
When it was over, James tried to get out of the auditorium as fast as he could. He didn’t like how Logan made him feel and he wanted to get away. Unfortunately, he was stopped by Kendall who was blocking the exit.
Kendall was one of James’ biggest competitors in the troupe. They were always fighting over parts. While James definitely had more talent, Kendall had this spark in him that ignited when he was on stage. Gustavo called it ‘the fire.’ James knew that he could have that same fire if only given the chance and he planned to prove it.
“What did you have to do to get the lead, James? Suck his cock?”
“Some of us don’t have to,” James spat.
Kendall’s eyes narrowed as he glared at James.
Not wanting to continue this confrontation, James pushed past the blonde, knocking shoulders with the other as he walked away.
Author: Melly aka squoctobird
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. As far as I know the play 'Icarus' does not exist, and is based on the Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus.
Fandom: BTR
Pairings/Characters: James is the main character, but this will contain some slash.
Rating: M
Summary: AU Inspired by Black Swan. James is obsessed with getting the lead in the musical of the story ICARUS. What happens when he finally gets the role of a lifetime? Will he be able to handle the pressure to be perfect?
+ Thanks to Sharon for her help and to Andy who has answered all my theater questions.
James stood outside of his apartment door with the key in his hand. He had been standing there for the past five minutes trying to gain the courage to face his mother. She would definitely be upset even though she was good at hiding her true emotions for his sake. But James knew how much of a disappointment this would be; he knew he was a failure of a son.
“It’s now or never,” he said to himself as he took a deep breath and stuck the key in the lock. He turned the key but before he could reach for the knob, the door swung open revealing his distraught mother.
“Oh, my. There you are, James,” she said as she pulled him into a desperate hug. “I’ve been so worried. Why haven’t you answered your phone? Why are you home so late?”
“Calm down, mom,” he said as he gently tried to push her away. “I’m fine. Auditions… ran late.”
Brooke Diamond read right through that lie. Having been in the theater herself, she knew that you could leave when your audition was finished. Plus, James had seniority and would have been one of the first to perform.
She held James at arm’s length and looked him straight in the eye. “James?” Her voice was filled with knowing and concern. That was all it took for him to break. Tears fell down his cheeks and he turned his head to the side. He couldn’t look at her; he couldn’t face her. She pulled him back into a hug and held him close. He buried his face in her shoulder and wept.
“I blew it, mom. I blew it.”
The next morning James couldn’t find it in him to sing in the shower.
---
James entered the theater and didn’t bother to stop to read the cast list. He knew exactly where his name would be, under ensemble. He walked down the hall towards the auditorium where the rest of the troupe would be waiting to begin.
As he made his way to the front of the theater, he received several glares. James felt very uncomfortable. Why were they looking at him like that? Had someone found out what happened with Gustavo? Were they disgusted with him? They probably thought he was some sort of whore, and a bad one at that.
He was about to sit down when his friend Camille engulfed him in a back breaking hug, nearly knocking him over.
“Congratulations, James!” the curly brown haired girl squealed. “You must be so excited.”
He shot her a confused look. “What are you talking about?”
“What am I talking about? Didn’t you check the cast list, James?”
He shook his head with a blank look on his face.
“You got the lead. You’re Icarus!”
“The lead?” he said softly to himself.
He looked up and saw the smile on her face. His eyes went wide with realization and without another word, he turned and walked as fast as he could to the back of the auditorium. His speed increased with each step and quickly turned into a sprint as he headed down the hall to the bulletin board. He slid to a stop, nearly falling over, when he reached his destination.
As he stood there catching his breath, his eyes frantically scanned the cast list looking for his name and there it was in black and white. James Diamond - Icarus. It felt too good to be true. He brought his finger up to the paper and gently ran it over the letters, needing to confirm it tangibly. The biggest smile spread across James’ face as he realized his dream had come true. He reached in his pocket for his cell phone and dialed his mother’s number.
She picked up on the first ring. “James, what’s wrong? You never call while at rehearsal.”
All of sudden, James felt like he couldn’t breath. The words were stuck in his throat. He was so overwhelmed, but he could practically hear his mother starting to panic on her end so he forced air in and out of his lungs.
“Mom. Mom, I’m fine,” he finally managed.
“James?”
“I got it. I got the part. I’m Icarus, mom. I got the lead.”
James’ mother started gushing and singing his praises and he chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Mom, I’ve got to get back to rehearsal, but I just wanted to call and tell you the good news. I love you. I’ll see you when I get home tonight.”
He ended the call and wiped away the tears that had gathered in his eyes. He couldn’t hold back his grin as he walked back to the auditorium and took his seat on the front row.
“Icarus is going to take the Gustavo Rocque Theater Troupe to the next level,” the large stage director said as he paced across the stage. “This will be our most expensive production to date due to the elaborate scenery and special effects.” Gustavo paused and looked directly at James, “I’m counting on all of you to make this a success.”
As he continue to speak, Kelly handed out scripts and music to the members of the troupe. James took his greedily and began to read. He was immediately engrossed in the story and soon even Gustavo’s loud voice was drowned out by James’ imagination. All he could hear was the sound of his own voice singing about the freedom of flying across the sky. He could almost reach the sun-
“Well, thank you for joining us, Logan,” Gustavo yelled with sarcasm, bringing James out of his fantasy.
Everyone in the auditorium turned to look at the boy walking down the aisle. James recognized him immediately as the one who ruined his audition and almost destroyed his dream. Things had worked out for James in the end, so he shouldn’t have any ill feelings towards the stranger, but he did.
He tried his best not to stare, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the almost-dream-destroyer. There was something different about the shorter boy that James was drawn to that he couldn’t quite explain. He was like a moth to a flame.
It wasn’t too long before Logan noticed James’ staring and raised a questioning eyebrow. The taller boy quickly adverted his gaze down to his script. He casually flipped through the pages trying to seem nonchalant but he knew the damage was done. It took an incredible amount of will power for James to not stare for the remainder of the meeting.
When it was over, James tried to get out of the auditorium as fast as he could. He didn’t like how Logan made him feel and he wanted to get away. Unfortunately, he was stopped by Kendall who was blocking the exit.
Kendall was one of James’ biggest competitors in the troupe. They were always fighting over parts. While James definitely had more talent, Kendall had this spark in him that ignited when he was on stage. Gustavo called it ‘the fire.’ James knew that he could have that same fire if only given the chance and he planned to prove it.
“What did you have to do to get the lead, James? Suck his cock?”
“Some of us don’t have to,” James spat.
Kendall’s eyes narrowed as he glared at James.
Not wanting to continue this confrontation, James pushed past the blonde, knocking shoulders with the other as he walked away.