(no subject)
Ugh. Life is not easy.
I wish there was a buzzer in my life and when I'm about to make a wrong decision it would just buzz in my face. I'm tired from crying. It wears me out.
I texted Jack to find out how Kenzie's party is going but I he hasn't texted back yet. I was supposed to go but the drive kills me. They are all probably just getting high and drunk so I would probably be bored anyways.
Work sucked today, UPS messed up everything because of the holiday and they didn't deliver any packages so I had nothing to do all day long. I literally twiddled my thumbs waiting for 6 to come.
I feel like watching twilight tonight but its too late to start it. Whatever, music is fine.
I've finalized my plans for going to Santa Cruz. My parents ok'd me driving up alone and I have the dates all worked out with Joseph and we are both extremely excited.
Tomorrow is July 4th. Eventful day. I'm seeing Josh in the morning, then Tyler in the afternoon, then sailing for fireworks.
I don't really want to go sailing tomorrow, Jack's boat is going to be really full and I'll only know... 3 people, 4 plus Jack. I don't feel like being on a full boat, it just sounds too squished and uncomfortable. But I already said I would go, and I'm sure it will be fun. And hopefully meeting new people won't be too painful.
Josh and I talked a lot tonight. Everything we said was painful and killed us. That explains why I'm so exhausted. I tried to be strong, but I started to fail towards the end. It's hard to say no to someone you love and would die for without thinking twice. It's hard to lose him, but I have to remind myself that we lost each other a while ago.
Tomorrow is July 4th.
I wish there was a buzzer in my life and when I'm about to make a wrong decision it would just buzz in my face. I'm tired from crying. It wears me out.
I texted Jack to find out how Kenzie's party is going but I he hasn't texted back yet. I was supposed to go but the drive kills me. They are all probably just getting high and drunk so I would probably be bored anyways.
Work sucked today, UPS messed up everything because of the holiday and they didn't deliver any packages so I had nothing to do all day long. I literally twiddled my thumbs waiting for 6 to come.
I feel like watching twilight tonight but its too late to start it. Whatever, music is fine.
I've finalized my plans for going to Santa Cruz. My parents ok'd me driving up alone and I have the dates all worked out with Joseph and we are both extremely excited.
Tomorrow is July 4th. Eventful day. I'm seeing Josh in the morning, then Tyler in the afternoon, then sailing for fireworks.
I don't really want to go sailing tomorrow, Jack's boat is going to be really full and I'll only know... 3 people, 4 plus Jack. I don't feel like being on a full boat, it just sounds too squished and uncomfortable. But I already said I would go, and I'm sure it will be fun. And hopefully meeting new people won't be too painful.
Josh and I talked a lot tonight. Everything we said was painful and killed us. That explains why I'm so exhausted. I tried to be strong, but I started to fail towards the end. It's hard to say no to someone you love and would die for without thinking twice. It's hard to lose him, but I have to remind myself that we lost each other a while ago.
Tomorrow is July 4th.