(no subject)
I HATE this.
Half of me loves him to death and can't live without him and finds him irresistible. The other half wants to leave him and stop all the pain he causes and just move on with my life for good.
There is this epic war going on inside me and part of me is just sitting there waiting to see which side will survive it.
I don't know what to do, I'm literally being torn. He makes me incredibly miserable. He breaks my heart constantly. And when I say 'break' I mean I FEEL it breaking. He tears me apart and while doing it all has no idea.
I'm sick of how he makes me feel. I'm sick of how he never understands how he hurts me. I'm sick of repeating myself. I am a broken record playing for a deaf man.
But. Just knowing he is my boyfriend gives me some strength, some confidence, some happiness. I anticipate seeing him like you wouldn't believe. I cry when I leave him, I know that I need him. I know that I love him. I know that when I hug him, everything is ok.
I'm so sick of this. I would break up with him if I knew I could get over him. I wish so much I could just get over him. Move on, be healthy and find someone who is REALLY right for me.
Half of me loves him to death and can't live without him and finds him irresistible. The other half wants to leave him and stop all the pain he causes and just move on with my life for good.
There is this epic war going on inside me and part of me is just sitting there waiting to see which side will survive it.
I don't know what to do, I'm literally being torn. He makes me incredibly miserable. He breaks my heart constantly. And when I say 'break' I mean I FEEL it breaking. He tears me apart and while doing it all has no idea.
I'm sick of how he makes me feel. I'm sick of how he never understands how he hurts me. I'm sick of repeating myself. I am a broken record playing for a deaf man.
But. Just knowing he is my boyfriend gives me some strength, some confidence, some happiness. I anticipate seeing him like you wouldn't believe. I cry when I leave him, I know that I need him. I know that I love him. I know that when I hug him, everything is ok.
I'm so sick of this. I would break up with him if I knew I could get over him. I wish so much I could just get over him. Move on, be healthy and find someone who is REALLY right for me.