Always Perfect; Jonghyun/Key; PG: 13
Title: Always Perfect
Author squishyguns
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Pairing/Focus: Jonghyun/Key
Summary: Jonghyun never could keep his mouth shut and one day Kibum had had enough.
Authors note: There's ONE cuss word. HAHAHA. Yea, just a warning. I haven't posted a fic in a very long time. I've only got one story up so far but yea, I'd really like to post more of my work. Anyway, this is sort of an angst oneshot. I tried my best, comments are highly loved :D I'm sorry if there is spelling and grammar errors anywhere :x I hope you enjoy! <33
Kibum crumbled to the ground and spewed into the pot. He didn't have to tell his stomach that it was time to get rid of its contents because it already knew what to do once he was down on his knees. His vision went fuzzy and he felt his eyes burn. He panted, the pungent stench of vomit not irking him at all. He was used to it already.
His fingers clutched the rim of the toilet bowl until his knuckles turned white. Kibum felt his stomach churn and all that disgusting unwanted food raised to his throat, causing him to gag into the bowl again. The tears rolled down his cheeks, dropping and mixing with the vomit. Fuck, he felt awful, even worst than before.
Kibum hasn't been eating well. He skipped his main meals, snapping at the other members when they asked whether he was hungry. Late in the night he would sneak into the bathroom and purposely put a finger down his throat, so that he would feel good about himself, he'll feel slim and skinny. Even though he hardly ate, he still felt like he had just finished a big buffet lunch. He still felt full and competely bloated. Kibum had became sick, in a way, and all this happened because of Kim Jonghyun and his crude mouth.
Everybody knew Jonghyun loved pointing out flaws in others, and he never did it in a polite way. Sometimes the members would wave it off, remembering that his attitude was such. But then one day Kibum couldn't take it anymore because Jonghyun had been pestering him about it for about a week. At first Kibum didn't ind, to be honest. But at the end of the week, he had snapped. He gave Jonghyun a deep, big-eyed glare and stomped off. Jonghyun looked taken aback but he never apologised.
Jonghyun had called him fat. Continuosly poking his sides and squeezing his arm, wearing a stupid smirk across his face.
"Kibum is getting chubby," Jonghyun would sing, loving how Kibum's whole body tensed all the time and became still.
Kibum knew he was just playing around, he constantly reminded himself. Apparently, words can hurt somebody and it was hurting him right now. Those four words kept pounding in his head, like how his heartbeat would do after they finished a live performance. Those words got louder and soon he thought that there was somebody blasting it through speakers or something. So he started to starve himself. After a few days of consuming just water and throwing up into the toilet bowl, Kibum's stomach grew accustomed to it.
A soft whimper escaped his chapped lips now. Kibum's stomach was in pain... so much pain- He hurled again. Now he saw specks of red through his blurry vision. His body swayed and the boy just needed to sleep. His attention was drawn back to those red spots. They looked like Christmas lights, like pretty Christmas lights. The boy smiled groggily.
"So pretty," he mumbled to himself. They were like a soundless lullaby, lulling him to sleep as they continued to dance in front of his eyes. Then they were gone and Kibum had crumbled to the floor. Sleep... he just needed sleep. He was so sleepy.
Kibum felt his body start to numb everywhere. That was good... good because the pain was going, going... gone. He can just close his eye and sleep now. But he couldn't because he heard somebody scream, he heard loud noises start disturbing him. Kibum frowned to himself.
Couldn't they see he was trying to sleep? Why were there people touching him? Were they just there to pester him? Kibum groaned, trying to signal them to shut up. Then he was jerked upwards and his head rested on something soft and weird. Then he felt something warm wrap around his body.
"Kibum... Kibum! Kibum, wake up!" someone yelled at him.
Why are they yelling at him? It was hurting his ears, he didn't like it. Kibum whined again as he felt someone take hold of his face. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes as slits.
"Kibum. Oh my God, Kibum. Keep your eyes open, please," Jonghyun sobbed and quickly shook Kibum a little when his eyes drooped.
"Sleep," Kibum said, voice husky and low.
"No, no you can't sleep, you have to stay awake. Onew is coming... he's coming with manager hyung. Hang in there." Jonghyun pulled Kibum closer to him, a stray tear already sliding down the older boys cheek.
Kibum's eyes fluttered close despite what Jonghyun had said. He felt weak... weak and just really very tired. He couldn't stay awake, he had to take a short nap at least. When all things felt in place and perfect; with him on the brink of unconsciousness, something in his stomach interrupts. Without the time to gulp it down, the vomit leaves his mouth quickly. Kibum heard Jonghyun gasp, completely lost on what to do. Kibum saw those pretty red lights again as he drifted in and out of darkness. It was everywhere. On Jonghyun's shirt, Jonghyun's fingers, Jonghyun's face.
"Ki-Kibum..." Jonghyun whispered, catching his eyes. A hand clasped
around his wrist. "Wh-what have you done to yourself? When have you been so skinny?"
Skinny.
Jonghyun called him skinny.
Kibum smiled again at that. He closed his eyes tightly and this time
nobody had distubred him.
***
Beeping.
The sound of beeping woke Kibum up. His eyes slowly opened first, then he slowly sat up. He was on a bed, a hospital bed. Kibum lifted his arms, observing those strange tubes and wires that were attached to him. Then he heard someone shuffle somewhere in the room and his gaze snapped to his right.
Three out of his four brotherly band members were on the chairs that had been provided by the hospital. Taemin and Onew shared the long one, sprawled out messily. Minho was in one of the armchairs, hat covering his face and arms crossed over his chest. They're here. Sleeping and waiting for him to wake up. Something bubbled up in his stomach and his eyes grazed over them.
Someone was missing though. He turned to the other side of the room and there he was, sitting at the side of his bed. Like a boss.
"How could you do that to us, Kibum?" Jonghyun asked softly and when their eyes finally met. "How could you do this to me?"
Then he started to tear up as he took in Jonghyun's face. His bloodshot eyes and pale, expressionless gaze. Kibum opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off by Jonghyun who had suddenly shot up. Jonghyun had jumped onto the bed, legs on either side of Kibum. Kibum winced a little because he still felt weak and Jonghyun was rough.
"You better have a good explanation," Jonghyun murmured, voice laced with worry.
"Jonghyun..."
"You do not know what we've been through for the two days that you were unconscious," Jonghyun suddenly snapped. "You have to explain yourself before I rip your head off."
Kibum shivered; Jonghyun's voice was sharp, high pitched and he was just too close. He held his breathe for a few seconds before swallowing hard. He looked away once he felt a tear trail down his cheek.
"I want to be skinny."
"What?"
Kibum said it too softly. He coughed and looked up, mustering all the confidence he could. "I want to be skinny."
The expression Jonghyun wore confused Kibum. He didn't know whether he was angry or upset or even creeped out. "You... what?"
"I want to be skinny," he repeated, forcefully this time. It made him irritated a little that Jonghyun made him repeat himself. Those words alone were so hard to get out even once. Kibum thought Jonghyun was going to give him a slap when a curse escaped his lips.
"Stupid!" Jonghyun exclaimed, jerking away from Kibum. "You were always perfect."
"But you sai-"
"You were always perfect."
"No, I-"
"Damn it, Kibum, just shut up and listen." Jonghyun grabbed his chin and forced him to look up.
"Kim Kibum, listen to me when I say you were always perfect."
The sincerity in his voice made something warm gush through his body. More tears fell and he started sobbing uncontrollably. Jonghyun choked on his words at the sight of Kibum crying. He definately could stand tears but crying like this was just way too much. Kibum felt Jonghyun's arms wrap around him, a little shyly.
"Believe me."
Believe me.
Believe him. Believe Jonghyun.
Those words rang in his ears. Kibum leaned forward and cried onto the other boys shoulder. Jonghyun was the one that teased him, the one that had called him chubby. Why was he feeling this strange but almost relieving feeling wash through him at those words?
Believe him... believe Jonghyun.
He was always perfect.