it's still for other people
About two months since my last Divas Saturday dinner, I got out again to see them tonight. We had really fantastic fancy fusion food, and alliterations.
Joby and Jomel picked me up on their way, and their one year together really showed. I only get bitter around couples these days.
As they talked and planned their next few weekends together, I stewed in the backseat trying to remember how that felt like: the synchronizing with someone else. The more they talked about mutual friends and different worlds, I felt more single than ever. It wasn't that bad; I had grown selfish anyway since that last one. Got a heart like fucking steel. Steel.
I remember really great things about having someone come into you. Non-sexually. There are the spontaneous lunches out, the really beautiful lovemaking- well that was sexual, and coming inside also happens, but you get it. Walking in step, talking about music of all things, singing, hand-holding. Oh my god, the hand-holding. Then I remember all the shit.
I guess things changed too much, and I hurt too badly, and I'll never be that sort of guy who wants those great things anymore, ever again. I missed them all tonight though.
Joby and Jomel picked me up on their way, and their one year together really showed. I only get bitter around couples these days.
As they talked and planned their next few weekends together, I stewed in the backseat trying to remember how that felt like: the synchronizing with someone else. The more they talked about mutual friends and different worlds, I felt more single than ever. It wasn't that bad; I had grown selfish anyway since that last one. Got a heart like fucking steel. Steel.
I remember really great things about having someone come into you. Non-sexually. There are the spontaneous lunches out, the really beautiful lovemaking- well that was sexual, and coming inside also happens, but you get it. Walking in step, talking about music of all things, singing, hand-holding. Oh my god, the hand-holding. Then I remember all the shit.
I guess things changed too much, and I hurt too badly, and I'll never be that sort of guy who wants those great things anymore, ever again. I missed them all tonight though.