Ficathon Fic: Billy Keikeya's Excellent Appendix
This is for the BSG Secondary Character Ficathon.
The request I wrote was by boofadil
Character: Billy
Up to two things you want to see in the fic: Billy dealing with a kid, any kid, any age and Billy during downtime
Up to two things you don't want to see in the fic: Ellen or Zarek
Perhaps some liberty was taken with "Downtime". I hope boofadil doesn't hate me.
Billy Keikeya's Excellent Appendix
Disclaimers: PG-13 for Sexual themes and mild language. Also? Not Mine. Don't Sue, Please.
Pairing: Billy/Dee (a.k.a. Lando!)
Other Characters: Cally, Jammer, Laura Roslin, Doc Cottle, and Boxey
For Billy Keikeya, the celebration surrounding the unveiling of the Blackbird is cut short by the sudden screaming pain in his side. He blinks, he clutches, he moans, he collapses.
Several hours later, he awakens.
“Where…” His throat is dry and scratchy, his voice is weak.
“Quiet, kid, you’re in no condition to be talking. Just lie back and shut up. Try to get back to sleep and don’t even think about picking at your stitches.” Even in his weary state, Billy can’t help but smile at Cottle’s typical bedside manner.
“What happened?” he squeaks out, his head still swimming.
“Your appendix burst, kid. I’m gonna let it slide that you didn’t report any discomfort in the past couple weeks, but you just thank the Lords I happened to be here when this happened. Now shut your pretty little eyes and go to sleep like I asked. You got yourself two days bed rest to look forward to.”
-----
“And you thought I’d never be able to repay the favor.”
To be honest, Billy was disappointed. Not much, but anyone other than Dee visiting him first was bound to be a disappointment.
“Your frakking appendix? You get to take two days off cause of a frakking appendix? You gotta tell me what you did to get this, cause two days in bed would be absolute bliss, man.”
The disappointment thuds even harder. Cally showing up before Dee was one thing, but Jammer was downright pure and simple annoyance.
“Hi guys.” Billy offers a smile. “Thanks for stopping in.” He shifts a bit and pulls himself into a sitting position.
“Hey, careful. Don’t strain yourself.” Cally smiles like she always does, wide and bright, showing off her teeth.
“Hey yourself,” Billy jokes back. “Just sore, that’s all. Cottle says I just need to not pull my stitches and I’ll be fine.”
“Wait, stitches and soreness? That’s it? You are such a baby, Billy, seriously.”
“Yeah, well if I’m supposed to be the baby, how come you’re the one doing all the whining?”
“Ooh, he’s got you there, Jammer.” Cally laughs. “So, stitches huh? Gonna have a wicked scar like mine? We should start a club.”
“Billy’s seen your scar? I’ve never seen your scar. How come he got to see your scar?”
“He’s cuter than you. And he asked.”
“All he had to do was ask? Well, I’m asking you right now. Lemme see that scar. Or are you too ashamed of that gut you got from sitting on your ass in the can?”
“Frak off, no way.”
“Um, guys? Not that I don’t appreciate you dropping by, but -- ”
“You’re right. If Cally’s not gonna show a little skin, what’s the point of her even being here?” Billy’s glad when Cally punches Jammer in the arm for saying that. Even if he had the strength, he’s not sure if he’d have the guts to do it himself. “You hit me because you love me, you know?” Jammer tries to laugh it off and ignore it, like always.
“How many times am I gonna have to shoot you down before you wise up, jerk?”
“Depends on when you decide to frak me instead of the Chi--”
Cally’s punched Jammer in the face before. But this time, it is harder, stronger, more precise. You have to do something when you’re stuck in the brig for 30 days. Unfortunately for Cally, Doc Cottle doesn’t see the humor of the situation.
“Get the frak out of my infirmary, both of you.” He grumbles, pointing to the door. “Come on, princesses, out!” Billy just blinks and shakes his head, settling back down into his bed.
-----
He awakens to the touch against his hand, the delicate palm brushing his. He mumbles happily before he opens his eyes.
“Was wondering how long it’d take you.” He rubs the hand holding his with his thumb, still half asleep. The quiet laugh makes him snap an eye open and jerk up in his bed. “Madam President.” Billy winces a little, the sudden movement having pulled at his sore muscles.
“Not Petty Officer Dualla, I’m afraid.” She’s already smiling warmly, trying to tame Billy’s embarrassment. “You gave us quite a scare.”
“Yes, I… I suppose I did. Madam President, I am so very sorry-”
“Billy, don’t even think twice about trying to worry about what you’re missing. The only thing I’m concerned about is that you must have been ignoring the warning signs. You gave no indication, nothing.”
“Well, I didn’t want anyone to worry about it. It just seemed so…”
“Insignificant? There is no reason for you to ignore anything. Especially your health, Billy.”
“I guess I need to take better care of myself,” he says, a slight downward curve to the corner of his mouth.
“One of us has to.” She smiles and stands, still holding Billy’s hand. “But sadly I have to get back to Colonial One. The President’s Aide may get to take some time off, but the President herself cannot.” Billy smiles as his fingers slip out of Roslin’s grasp and thump weakly against his bedsheets.
“Thank you, Madam President.”
“Get better. Get back on your feet and back to work. I need you, Billy. I really do.”
Billy had prided himself on bearing every pain he had been having. He had never winced, never grimaced, never given the slightest outward indication that he was suffering any pain or discomfort. If the President could bear her cancer, he could bear his niggling little pains.
At those few words, however, tears form in Billy Keikeya’s eyes. He sniffs and smiles, unable to form words to respond. He finally sags back against his pillow when she is out of sight, wiping his eyes and sighing.
His return to peace and quiet is sadly cut short as he jumps with the sudden sound from behind the dividing curtain.
“So, is the President your mom or something? She sure as frak acts like it.” Billy raises his eyebrows and looks over.
“Hello? Who’s over there?”
A small hand grabs the edge of the curtain and pulls it partially open. "Course, it’d be frakking weird having to work for your mom, wouldn’t it?”
Billy chuckles a little, smiling at the familiar face. “Hey Boxey. The Doc didn’t tell me I had a neighbor.”
“You didn’t ask him, genius.”
Billy is slightly thrown by the snappy answer, but he takes it in stride. "No, I guess I didn’t. What’re you in for?”
“I cut off my arms and legs with a hacksaw.”
“Really? Then who opened the curtain?”
“Frak. You caught me in my web of lies. What’re you gonna do about it, huh?”
“Well, when I get well enough, I’m going to get out of this bed and kick your ass, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Yeah, right.”
“You don’t think I could do it?”
“I know you wouldn’t do it. Cause the first thing you’d actually do is go find a supply closet to frak Dee in.”
“Boxey!”
“You’re right, the supply closet isn’t you at all. Right in the bunks, where everybody can see and hear you, that’s it. Both of you, fra-” Boxey is cut silent by the pillow slamming against his face. “What… you hit me!”
Billy laughs and gives a ‘bring it’ gesture from his bed. “What’re you gonna do about it, huh?”
“Oh, you are so dead.” Boxey laughs, readying himself to throw the pillow back.
“There will be no killing in my infirmary.” Except for the killing of gleeful moods, as Cottle’s words do exactly that.
“Yes, Doctor Cottle. Sorry,” Billy pleads.
“You are one giant headache,” Cottle says, pointing at Boxey. “And you,” he turns to face Billy. “You are just one big pain in the…” He pauses and glares in Boxey’s direction for a moment. “Well, I ain’t saying in front of the kid. But you should be catching my drift, right, princess?” He harrumphs before turning to leave. “Rest, you idiots. You aren’t gonna get better jerking around.”
-----
When Billy awakens again, he sighs again in disappointment. Every time he awakes, it is from a dream of Dee into a world where she is not there to greet him. He’d been there a full day, and hadn’t even received a message or a note or anything. Under normal circumstances, Billy Keikeya is not a jealous man. Today, however, was definitely not falling under the term normal circumstances to Billy. He huffs and stares over at the empty bed where Boxey had been yesterday. Any company was a distraction, even if Boxey was just a kid. Billy huffs again and turns onto his good side, closing his eyes despite his complete lack of sleepiness.
A quick flick to his ear, and Billy snaps his eyes open and grumbles.
“Oh you are so dead, Boxey.” He swings an arm out and is promptly caught tightly about the wrist.
“What makes you so sure I’m Boxey?” Billy doesn’t even have a chance to answer, to protest, to do anything but get swept up into the sudden kiss. As Dee pulls away, Billy only blinks and smiles, all his disappointment and frustration faded and gone.
“Hey.” Billy says, still a little dumbstruck.
“Hey.” Dee replies, a small smirk on her face. They sit for a moment, smiling at each other in the strangely silent infirmary.
“What took you so long?” Billy finally asks, moving a hand up to caress her shoulder gently with his fingertips.
“Work before pleasure. Double-shift in the CIC followed by four hours bunk time, and then another shift.” She tilts her head and adjust a curl of Billy’s hair. “Is that a good enough explanation? Or am I going to have to make this up to you?” Billy grins a little, but behaves himself.
“No, no. I totally understand. Three shifts? You must be exhausted.”
“I am, but I couldn’t let Doc Cottle spring you without at least making an appearance. You and you’re appendix, having me all worried.” She leans in and kisses him on the forehead. “You’re the one who should be making things up to me.” She smirks again and ruffles Billy’s hair a little.
“Oh?” Billy asks in his usual oh-so-suave manner. Dee just laughs, crinkling her nose.
“What’s the rumor? Right in my rack so everyone can see?” Billy’s cheeks are already flushed before Dee even finishes her sentence.
“I, that wasn’t me. I didn’t. You know I… I mean.” Dee taps a finger against Billy’s lips, putting an end to his flustering.
“Shush. Tell you what. I’m off duty until tomorrow night. How about when you get yourself all checked up and checked out you stop by my rack and we’ll see what happens.” Billy’s mouth drops open, and then it closes, then opens again. Dee snickers and pulls away, giving him a quick wave before turning and leaving.
“Okay?” Billy squeaks out, once she is no longer in sight.
“I’d recommend the supply closet next to causeway D.” Billy almost jumps out of his skin when Cottle speaks. “Just don’t strain anything.”
“Wait, were you-”
“I’m old, not deaf, princess. And that Boxey brat has a mouth like a foghorn.” Cottle pulls the curtain next to Billy’s bed and frowns. “Dammit, the kid’s gone and disappeared again.”
“You didn’t release him?”
“I’m a doctor, not a babysitter. Look, just get your things and go. But if you tear those stitches, so help me I will leave malignant sponges in you.” Billy’s eyes go wide, but he’s already swinging his legs over and onto the ground.
“Thank you,” he manages, already a little giddy.
“Remember. Closet, causeway D.” Cottle points and raises an eyebrow. “You pull your stitches? Sponges. Malignant sponges.”
“Right, thanks.” Billy’s grin can be seen by all as he bounces over to get dressed. In the blink of an eye, he is gone.
Fin
I live for comments, folks. Please comment.
The request I wrote was by boofadil
Character: Billy
Up to two things you want to see in the fic: Billy dealing with a kid, any kid, any age and Billy during downtime
Up to two things you don't want to see in the fic: Ellen or Zarek
Perhaps some liberty was taken with "Downtime". I hope boofadil doesn't hate me.
Billy Keikeya's Excellent Appendix
Disclaimers: PG-13 for Sexual themes and mild language. Also? Not Mine. Don't Sue, Please.
Pairing: Billy/Dee (a.k.a. Lando!)
Other Characters: Cally, Jammer, Laura Roslin, Doc Cottle, and Boxey
For Billy Keikeya, the celebration surrounding the unveiling of the Blackbird is cut short by the sudden screaming pain in his side. He blinks, he clutches, he moans, he collapses.
Several hours later, he awakens.
“Where…” His throat is dry and scratchy, his voice is weak.
“Quiet, kid, you’re in no condition to be talking. Just lie back and shut up. Try to get back to sleep and don’t even think about picking at your stitches.” Even in his weary state, Billy can’t help but smile at Cottle’s typical bedside manner.
“What happened?” he squeaks out, his head still swimming.
“Your appendix burst, kid. I’m gonna let it slide that you didn’t report any discomfort in the past couple weeks, but you just thank the Lords I happened to be here when this happened. Now shut your pretty little eyes and go to sleep like I asked. You got yourself two days bed rest to look forward to.”
-----
“And you thought I’d never be able to repay the favor.”
To be honest, Billy was disappointed. Not much, but anyone other than Dee visiting him first was bound to be a disappointment.
“Your frakking appendix? You get to take two days off cause of a frakking appendix? You gotta tell me what you did to get this, cause two days in bed would be absolute bliss, man.”
The disappointment thuds even harder. Cally showing up before Dee was one thing, but Jammer was downright pure and simple annoyance.
“Hi guys.” Billy offers a smile. “Thanks for stopping in.” He shifts a bit and pulls himself into a sitting position.
“Hey, careful. Don’t strain yourself.” Cally smiles like she always does, wide and bright, showing off her teeth.
“Hey yourself,” Billy jokes back. “Just sore, that’s all. Cottle says I just need to not pull my stitches and I’ll be fine.”
“Wait, stitches and soreness? That’s it? You are such a baby, Billy, seriously.”
“Yeah, well if I’m supposed to be the baby, how come you’re the one doing all the whining?”
“Ooh, he’s got you there, Jammer.” Cally laughs. “So, stitches huh? Gonna have a wicked scar like mine? We should start a club.”
“Billy’s seen your scar? I’ve never seen your scar. How come he got to see your scar?”
“He’s cuter than you. And he asked.”
“All he had to do was ask? Well, I’m asking you right now. Lemme see that scar. Or are you too ashamed of that gut you got from sitting on your ass in the can?”
“Frak off, no way.”
“Um, guys? Not that I don’t appreciate you dropping by, but -- ”
“You’re right. If Cally’s not gonna show a little skin, what’s the point of her even being here?” Billy’s glad when Cally punches Jammer in the arm for saying that. Even if he had the strength, he’s not sure if he’d have the guts to do it himself. “You hit me because you love me, you know?” Jammer tries to laugh it off and ignore it, like always.
“How many times am I gonna have to shoot you down before you wise up, jerk?”
“Depends on when you decide to frak me instead of the Chi--”
Cally’s punched Jammer in the face before. But this time, it is harder, stronger, more precise. You have to do something when you’re stuck in the brig for 30 days. Unfortunately for Cally, Doc Cottle doesn’t see the humor of the situation.
“Get the frak out of my infirmary, both of you.” He grumbles, pointing to the door. “Come on, princesses, out!” Billy just blinks and shakes his head, settling back down into his bed.
-----
He awakens to the touch against his hand, the delicate palm brushing his. He mumbles happily before he opens his eyes.
“Was wondering how long it’d take you.” He rubs the hand holding his with his thumb, still half asleep. The quiet laugh makes him snap an eye open and jerk up in his bed. “Madam President.” Billy winces a little, the sudden movement having pulled at his sore muscles.
“Not Petty Officer Dualla, I’m afraid.” She’s already smiling warmly, trying to tame Billy’s embarrassment. “You gave us quite a scare.”
“Yes, I… I suppose I did. Madam President, I am so very sorry-”
“Billy, don’t even think twice about trying to worry about what you’re missing. The only thing I’m concerned about is that you must have been ignoring the warning signs. You gave no indication, nothing.”
“Well, I didn’t want anyone to worry about it. It just seemed so…”
“Insignificant? There is no reason for you to ignore anything. Especially your health, Billy.”
“I guess I need to take better care of myself,” he says, a slight downward curve to the corner of his mouth.
“One of us has to.” She smiles and stands, still holding Billy’s hand. “But sadly I have to get back to Colonial One. The President’s Aide may get to take some time off, but the President herself cannot.” Billy smiles as his fingers slip out of Roslin’s grasp and thump weakly against his bedsheets.
“Thank you, Madam President.”
“Get better. Get back on your feet and back to work. I need you, Billy. I really do.”
Billy had prided himself on bearing every pain he had been having. He had never winced, never grimaced, never given the slightest outward indication that he was suffering any pain or discomfort. If the President could bear her cancer, he could bear his niggling little pains.
At those few words, however, tears form in Billy Keikeya’s eyes. He sniffs and smiles, unable to form words to respond. He finally sags back against his pillow when she is out of sight, wiping his eyes and sighing.
His return to peace and quiet is sadly cut short as he jumps with the sudden sound from behind the dividing curtain.
“So, is the President your mom or something? She sure as frak acts like it.” Billy raises his eyebrows and looks over.
“Hello? Who’s over there?”
A small hand grabs the edge of the curtain and pulls it partially open. "Course, it’d be frakking weird having to work for your mom, wouldn’t it?”
Billy chuckles a little, smiling at the familiar face. “Hey Boxey. The Doc didn’t tell me I had a neighbor.”
“You didn’t ask him, genius.”
Billy is slightly thrown by the snappy answer, but he takes it in stride. "No, I guess I didn’t. What’re you in for?”
“I cut off my arms and legs with a hacksaw.”
“Really? Then who opened the curtain?”
“Frak. You caught me in my web of lies. What’re you gonna do about it, huh?”
“Well, when I get well enough, I’m going to get out of this bed and kick your ass, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Yeah, right.”
“You don’t think I could do it?”
“I know you wouldn’t do it. Cause the first thing you’d actually do is go find a supply closet to frak Dee in.”
“Boxey!”
“You’re right, the supply closet isn’t you at all. Right in the bunks, where everybody can see and hear you, that’s it. Both of you, fra-” Boxey is cut silent by the pillow slamming against his face. “What… you hit me!”
Billy laughs and gives a ‘bring it’ gesture from his bed. “What’re you gonna do about it, huh?”
“Oh, you are so dead.” Boxey laughs, readying himself to throw the pillow back.
“There will be no killing in my infirmary.” Except for the killing of gleeful moods, as Cottle’s words do exactly that.
“Yes, Doctor Cottle. Sorry,” Billy pleads.
“You are one giant headache,” Cottle says, pointing at Boxey. “And you,” he turns to face Billy. “You are just one big pain in the…” He pauses and glares in Boxey’s direction for a moment. “Well, I ain’t saying in front of the kid. But you should be catching my drift, right, princess?” He harrumphs before turning to leave. “Rest, you idiots. You aren’t gonna get better jerking around.”
-----
When Billy awakens again, he sighs again in disappointment. Every time he awakes, it is from a dream of Dee into a world where she is not there to greet him. He’d been there a full day, and hadn’t even received a message or a note or anything. Under normal circumstances, Billy Keikeya is not a jealous man. Today, however, was definitely not falling under the term normal circumstances to Billy. He huffs and stares over at the empty bed where Boxey had been yesterday. Any company was a distraction, even if Boxey was just a kid. Billy huffs again and turns onto his good side, closing his eyes despite his complete lack of sleepiness.
A quick flick to his ear, and Billy snaps his eyes open and grumbles.
“Oh you are so dead, Boxey.” He swings an arm out and is promptly caught tightly about the wrist.
“What makes you so sure I’m Boxey?” Billy doesn’t even have a chance to answer, to protest, to do anything but get swept up into the sudden kiss. As Dee pulls away, Billy only blinks and smiles, all his disappointment and frustration faded and gone.
“Hey.” Billy says, still a little dumbstruck.
“Hey.” Dee replies, a small smirk on her face. They sit for a moment, smiling at each other in the strangely silent infirmary.
“What took you so long?” Billy finally asks, moving a hand up to caress her shoulder gently with his fingertips.
“Work before pleasure. Double-shift in the CIC followed by four hours bunk time, and then another shift.” She tilts her head and adjust a curl of Billy’s hair. “Is that a good enough explanation? Or am I going to have to make this up to you?” Billy grins a little, but behaves himself.
“No, no. I totally understand. Three shifts? You must be exhausted.”
“I am, but I couldn’t let Doc Cottle spring you without at least making an appearance. You and you’re appendix, having me all worried.” She leans in and kisses him on the forehead. “You’re the one who should be making things up to me.” She smirks again and ruffles Billy’s hair a little.
“Oh?” Billy asks in his usual oh-so-suave manner. Dee just laughs, crinkling her nose.
“What’s the rumor? Right in my rack so everyone can see?” Billy’s cheeks are already flushed before Dee even finishes her sentence.
“I, that wasn’t me. I didn’t. You know I… I mean.” Dee taps a finger against Billy’s lips, putting an end to his flustering.
“Shush. Tell you what. I’m off duty until tomorrow night. How about when you get yourself all checked up and checked out you stop by my rack and we’ll see what happens.” Billy’s mouth drops open, and then it closes, then opens again. Dee snickers and pulls away, giving him a quick wave before turning and leaving.
“Okay?” Billy squeaks out, once she is no longer in sight.
“I’d recommend the supply closet next to causeway D.” Billy almost jumps out of his skin when Cottle speaks. “Just don’t strain anything.”
“Wait, were you-”
“I’m old, not deaf, princess. And that Boxey brat has a mouth like a foghorn.” Cottle pulls the curtain next to Billy’s bed and frowns. “Dammit, the kid’s gone and disappeared again.”
“You didn’t release him?”
“I’m a doctor, not a babysitter. Look, just get your things and go. But if you tear those stitches, so help me I will leave malignant sponges in you.” Billy’s eyes go wide, but he’s already swinging his legs over and onto the ground.
“Thank you,” he manages, already a little giddy.
“Remember. Closet, causeway D.” Cottle points and raises an eyebrow. “You pull your stitches? Sponges. Malignant sponges.”
“Right, thanks.” Billy’s grin can be seen by all as he bounces over to get dressed. In the blink of an eye, he is gone.
Fin
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