Everything looks perfect from far away...
I randomly find myself with so many weird feelings, however they all lead to the same thing....
i want to be free. i want to go back to me as a child. i lived through hell because of certain things since i was practically brought into this world without choice, but im sure there were some good memories, and i wish i could go back to them so bad. I dont want to think about the future, i don't want to continue going through these huge bumps in my life realizing that the path im taking is not the correct one. But most importantly that the choices i make hurt the people i love. I want to be happy, not pretend. I want to be me, not someone fake just there to please. I want to trust, not being afraid and just take the risk. Theres bound to be someone worthy of such trust. I don't want to be afraid of letting people in.
LiL TatER tOT 90: :i try not to!!! i really really do but i cant
KlareBear05 its ok
KlareBear05: thats the person that you are
KlareBear05: i just say
KlareBear05: you need to become more comfortable w/ your friends
KlareBear05: you understand?
LiL TatER tOT 90: .:a little bit
LiL TatER tOT 90 :maybe i dont trust them very easily
LiL TatER tOT 90 :and i doubt them
KlareBear05 because..
LiL TatER tOT 90: :well some of them give me reasons
LiL TatER tOT 90 :but with others i guess because of things that have happened to me
KlareBear05 yeah
LiL TatER tOT 90: :like i dont trust people easily
LiL TatER tOT 90 :and like i dont know why they trust me so much and i cant give them that same trust back
LiL TatER tOT 90 :i feel like im being selfish
LiL TatER tOT 90 :and i dont want to be but i jsut feel weird
KlareBear05 you're jsut holding back
KlareBear05: like you have your guard on all the time
KlareBear05: you're scared to let people in
im crying my ass off right now, im just so fustrated with myself. but i think i needed it, i was tearing yesterday but i didnt know why, and i hate tearing, like if im gonna cry i wanna cry a damn river, ya kno? i love this friend above, they made me realize so much shit, i needed someone to listen to me. i really did. nd i didnt even plan to have any conversations of this sort today. this conversation helped me pour myself out, i hadnt in a while, wow
i want to be free. i want to go back to me as a child. i lived through hell because of certain things since i was practically brought into this world without choice, but im sure there were some good memories, and i wish i could go back to them so bad. I dont want to think about the future, i don't want to continue going through these huge bumps in my life realizing that the path im taking is not the correct one. But most importantly that the choices i make hurt the people i love. I want to be happy, not pretend. I want to be me, not someone fake just there to please. I want to trust, not being afraid and just take the risk. Theres bound to be someone worthy of such trust. I don't want to be afraid of letting people in.
LiL TatER tOT 90: :i try not to!!! i really really do but i cant
KlareBear05 its ok
KlareBear05: thats the person that you are
KlareBear05: i just say
KlareBear05: you need to become more comfortable w/ your friends
KlareBear05: you understand?
LiL TatER tOT 90: .:a little bit
LiL TatER tOT 90 :maybe i dont trust them very easily
LiL TatER tOT 90 :and i doubt them
KlareBear05 because..
LiL TatER tOT 90: :well some of them give me reasons
LiL TatER tOT 90 :but with others i guess because of things that have happened to me
KlareBear05 yeah
LiL TatER tOT 90: :like i dont trust people easily
LiL TatER tOT 90 :and like i dont know why they trust me so much and i cant give them that same trust back
LiL TatER tOT 90 :i feel like im being selfish
LiL TatER tOT 90 :and i dont want to be but i jsut feel weird
KlareBear05 you're jsut holding back
KlareBear05: like you have your guard on all the time
KlareBear05: you're scared to let people in
im crying my ass off right now, im just so fustrated with myself. but i think i needed it, i was tearing yesterday but i didnt know why, and i hate tearing, like if im gonna cry i wanna cry a damn river, ya kno? i love this friend above, they made me realize so much shit, i needed someone to listen to me. i really did. nd i didnt even plan to have any conversations of this sort today. this conversation helped me pour myself out, i hadnt in a while, wow