a time before you were born

[squirtlle]

i'm ok , mostly.

but also really overwhelmed.

i have so many health concerns, and i can't afford to see all the doctors i would need to see to figure out what is wrong.
something is definitely wrong though.

it's very overwhelming.

i can't sleep at night now if i don't drink valerian tea. it does help.

there are a lot of good things in my life right now.
i feel really at peace in my relationship with brian.
i'm making things, being creative, about to have my first solo art show.
i'm feeling more and more discover-ful of who i am.

but i am captured. in this torture chamber, of poor health and high anxiety.

this lesson is hard.