(no subject)
I am so happy that it is starting to get nice out.
i think that i am even happier for the fact that i will have insurance as of May 1. I actually went (knock on wood) over 6 months of not having insurance and of not needing to go to the doctor or moving into the hospital for a week, maybe it is mind over matter. but i will be making a doctors appt as of monday cause if i dont get some anxiety meds i may end up hurting someone. I am probably more paranoid now than i have been since i was a little kid. I feel my body tense up and my brain start working overtime if someone is walking to what i think is a little close behind me...which could be like five feet, i think it is the sounds of their shoes or something, makes me feel like they are creeping up on me.
Work is going good, a little tense for a while, they were firing alot of the higher ups so everyone else thought they were getting fired too. i do find it really hard to sit at a desk all day. Adri and i walk on our lunch break around the neighboorhood which is actually not very classy..we started doing a scavenger hunt and we have already found used condoms and bottles of booze on the ground..im waiting for the hypodermic needle and dead person to be the next thing we find. i like working with adri though it has brought us back together and she is definetly alot different than she used to be..and when she does do or say stuff stupid like she used to i defintely have no problem putting her in her place. im like dr. phil. i wish i had someone i could talk to on a more personal basis, i keep alot of stuff to myself lately and find myself almost blurting it out at any given moment and then i stop. im insane.
i have finally decided to get my ass back to school before i lose what brain cells i have left. Fall 2008 me and mcc will be best friends again, i dont care what i take i just hate the feeling that i have wasted many years of my life.
im going to go watch cops now..
bye.
i think that i am even happier for the fact that i will have insurance as of May 1. I actually went (knock on wood) over 6 months of not having insurance and of not needing to go to the doctor or moving into the hospital for a week, maybe it is mind over matter. but i will be making a doctors appt as of monday cause if i dont get some anxiety meds i may end up hurting someone. I am probably more paranoid now than i have been since i was a little kid. I feel my body tense up and my brain start working overtime if someone is walking to what i think is a little close behind me...which could be like five feet, i think it is the sounds of their shoes or something, makes me feel like they are creeping up on me.
Work is going good, a little tense for a while, they were firing alot of the higher ups so everyone else thought they were getting fired too. i do find it really hard to sit at a desk all day. Adri and i walk on our lunch break around the neighboorhood which is actually not very classy..we started doing a scavenger hunt and we have already found used condoms and bottles of booze on the ground..im waiting for the hypodermic needle and dead person to be the next thing we find. i like working with adri though it has brought us back together and she is definetly alot different than she used to be..and when she does do or say stuff stupid like she used to i defintely have no problem putting her in her place. im like dr. phil. i wish i had someone i could talk to on a more personal basis, i keep alot of stuff to myself lately and find myself almost blurting it out at any given moment and then i stop. im insane.
i have finally decided to get my ass back to school before i lose what brain cells i have left. Fall 2008 me and mcc will be best friends again, i dont care what i take i just hate the feeling that i have wasted many years of my life.
im going to go watch cops now..
bye.