Nov 20, 2004 09:50
still cant decide if im sick or not. im gonna go on and say that i am, since i feel all weak, and im sneezing and coughing every now and then. poo.
i had a really werid dream last nite. i think its the first one in a long time that i have been able to control...
theres no point in sharing the begining bc it has nothing to do with the bulk of it. so i'll come in at the part where i was escaping a killer dude and we were both riding jackhammer - pogo stick thingys. so then i shot a missle at him and he died. then out of the darkness comes this small child figure. he walks up to me, and i realize who it is: nick. the lil kid who used to live next door to me. he was the sweetest kid with the hugest crush on me, even tho we were like 4 years apart i think. so anyways, he walks up to me and i run up and give him a hug. i notice that hes only in the fourth grade, which is how old he was when he moved. this was kinda werid. so we started talkin about how much different my life was and how i had all this crap to worry about all the time, and how my problems are way bigger than they ever were when he was here. he sed somethin about his life, and i started crying bc i was looking right at this innocent lil child who was just the sweetest lil thing ever, and i realized how far i had come from that child i use to be. i sed "sometimes i long for that childish innocence." he responded, "i dont understand." i guess meaning, he didnt see us as very different and he still thought i was the child i was when he left.
that dream had prolly one of the deepest message ive ever dreamed about. i wish it had lasted longer, but i didnt really sleep very well last nite, prolly a combo of being sick, and the fone convo i had last nite. details upon request.
well i guess im gonna go try and continue last nites convo. or go to sleep. ah sleep would be nice. its about all i have the energy for n e ways...
"I know not what the future holds, but I know who holds the future."