class conversations
B: Banzhang
L: Li Kai
Me: Me
Conversations between Z-Laoshi (Teacher Z) and Banzhang (Class Leader), who I swear should be a couple:
(class has just begun at 7:55)
Z-laoshi: Banzhang, please read this passage.
B: Nimen--
Z-laoshi: HAHAHA YOUR PRONOUNCIATION IS SO BAD. XDDD
B: ...Nimen bu qu--
Z-laoshi: [angry spazzycakes] "Bu qu"? BANZHANG. "Nimen *mei* qu"! Me~~ei qu~! Why don't you know this?! We learned this in Unit 1!
L: [looks at clock] Annnnnnd it's only 8:05. This is gonna be a good day.
--
(After I asked a question about how Miami has a lot of Spanish speakers)
Z-laoshi: What was she saying?
B: She wanted to know if there was any place like Miami for Chinese speakers.
Z-laoshi: What, like... Tibet?
B: No, like a place where they don't speak English, not a place that was brutally conquered and oppressed.
Z-laoshi: ... O_____O
Z-laoshi: THAT'S JUST YOUR AMERICAN BIAS.
--
(Z-laoshi, discussing the infamous TONGZHI)
Z-laoshi: Well. It's like this. I am a Communist Party Member. I am a lesbian.
Entire Class: ... [dies laughing] XDDD
Z-laoshi: Noooo, no, no, no. I mean, if you say "tongzhi" it means "comrade", but if you say "airen tongzhi", it means "lover comrade", like, my comrade in private.
Entire Class: [laughter does not stop]
Z-laoshi: Like, for example, Li Kai is my "airen tongzhi"--
L: I'm what now?
Z-laoshi: But Banzhang is just my "tongzhi".
B: OH HEY NOW. NOW I'M OFFENDED.
Z-laoshi: What? Why?
B: You can call me a homosexual, but never call me a Communist.
Z-laoshi: STOP IT WITH YOUR AMERICAN BIAS.
--
Moral of the story: "American bias" is seriously Z-laoshi's FAVORITE PHRASE.
Bonus story:
(another morning)
Z-laoshi: Li Kai, translate this sentance into Chinese.
L: Um. Wo xiang qu... um, mai... [descends into incomprehensible babble]
Z-laoshi: LI KAI. How do you not know this?
L: I don't know, I just don't.
Z-laoshi: UGH WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?
L: HEY NOW.
Me: And the much coveted "First to Be Yelled At By Z-Laoshi" Award goes to Li Kai today.
L: Goddammit.
Seriously, if I could like, record this woman and share her spazzing with the world, I would, cos it's hilarious. XD
L: Li Kai
Me: Me
Conversations between Z-Laoshi (Teacher Z) and Banzhang (Class Leader), who I swear should be a couple:
(class has just begun at 7:55)
Z-laoshi: Banzhang, please read this passage.
B: Nimen--
Z-laoshi: HAHAHA YOUR PRONOUNCIATION IS SO BAD. XDDD
B: ...Nimen bu qu--
Z-laoshi: [angry spazzycakes] "Bu qu"? BANZHANG. "Nimen *mei* qu"! Me~~ei qu~! Why don't you know this?! We learned this in Unit 1!
L: [looks at clock] Annnnnnd it's only 8:05. This is gonna be a good day.
--
(After I asked a question about how Miami has a lot of Spanish speakers)
Z-laoshi: What was she saying?
B: She wanted to know if there was any place like Miami for Chinese speakers.
Z-laoshi: What, like... Tibet?
B: No, like a place where they don't speak English, not a place that was brutally conquered and oppressed.
Z-laoshi: ... O_____O
Z-laoshi: THAT'S JUST YOUR AMERICAN BIAS.
--
(Z-laoshi, discussing the infamous TONGZHI)
Z-laoshi: Well. It's like this. I am a Communist Party Member. I am a lesbian.
Entire Class: ... [dies laughing] XDDD
Z-laoshi: Noooo, no, no, no. I mean, if you say "tongzhi" it means "comrade", but if you say "airen tongzhi", it means "lover comrade", like, my comrade in private.
Entire Class: [laughter does not stop]
Z-laoshi: Like, for example, Li Kai is my "airen tongzhi"--
L: I'm what now?
Z-laoshi: But Banzhang is just my "tongzhi".
B: OH HEY NOW. NOW I'M OFFENDED.
Z-laoshi: What? Why?
B: You can call me a homosexual, but never call me a Communist.
Z-laoshi: STOP IT WITH YOUR AMERICAN BIAS.
--
Moral of the story: "American bias" is seriously Z-laoshi's FAVORITE PHRASE.
Bonus story:
(another morning)
Z-laoshi: Li Kai, translate this sentance into Chinese.
L: Um. Wo xiang qu... um, mai... [descends into incomprehensible babble]
Z-laoshi: LI KAI. How do you not know this?
L: I don't know, I just don't.
Z-laoshi: UGH WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?
L: HEY NOW.
Me: And the much coveted "First to Be Yelled At By Z-Laoshi" Award goes to Li Kai today.
L: Goddammit.
Seriously, if I could like, record this woman and share her spazzing with the world, I would, cos it's hilarious. XD