random pontification...
maybe i've been reading too many philosophy/scychology books recently... probably i'm just a basket case.
How do you experience feelings? When I have really strong feelings about something, I often find myself thinking objectively about the situation, and observing emotional reactions i feel in my body. But my actions and feelings are seperate from that part of myself standing back watching. So if my 'wacher' self isn't in control of my actions, then where are they comming from? Do actions and emotions arise out of my unconsciousness, and cause my physical reactions? Or does my mind react to the physical events that my body instinctively creates?
Sometimes it seems like there's a lag between my emotional reactions and my mental understanding of them. When events happen, it takes me time to digest them and descide how i feel or what the "apropiate" reaction would be... which usually happens long after the event is over, at a point where it's no longer apropriate for me to act on the situation.
This can tend to fuck with my personal relationships, as people happen to do stuff that pisses me off(as is human nature) and at the time, i don't have any reaction to it. Then later I think about it, and understand the situation better, and i get really mad. But by that time saying anything would mostly be random bitching.
This is not helped by my spotty memory which isnt' innacurate, but incomplete. So, back to the beginning, understanding my feelings. The lag between a situation, understanding of the situation, development of feelings and a reaction to the situation... or the time between having an emotion, and then understanding the emotion and the situation creating it... all of which can take days and weeks for me to process. I think sometimes it seems to others like i'm trying to supress and deny my emotions. In reality, it just takes me that long to form a reaction or understanding enough to act on them. Or, having an emotion in a situation without understanding, and then finally figuring it out long after the whole thing's over and there's nothing to be done anyways. meh.
Again, do emotions arise out of the body's instinctive reaction to situations? Or does my subconscious understand situations and cause the reactions in my body. Emotions like pulse quickening, nerve endings randomly firing, hands being unsteady, skin being sensitive; all of which could be reactions to either romance or anger.
meh. either or. stupid human condition. stupid liberal arts education making me even more of a headcase than i already was...
How do you experience feelings? When I have really strong feelings about something, I often find myself thinking objectively about the situation, and observing emotional reactions i feel in my body. But my actions and feelings are seperate from that part of myself standing back watching. So if my 'wacher' self isn't in control of my actions, then where are they comming from? Do actions and emotions arise out of my unconsciousness, and cause my physical reactions? Or does my mind react to the physical events that my body instinctively creates?
Sometimes it seems like there's a lag between my emotional reactions and my mental understanding of them. When events happen, it takes me time to digest them and descide how i feel or what the "apropiate" reaction would be... which usually happens long after the event is over, at a point where it's no longer apropriate for me to act on the situation.
This can tend to fuck with my personal relationships, as people happen to do stuff that pisses me off(as is human nature) and at the time, i don't have any reaction to it. Then later I think about it, and understand the situation better, and i get really mad. But by that time saying anything would mostly be random bitching.
This is not helped by my spotty memory which isnt' innacurate, but incomplete. So, back to the beginning, understanding my feelings. The lag between a situation, understanding of the situation, development of feelings and a reaction to the situation... or the time between having an emotion, and then understanding the emotion and the situation creating it... all of which can take days and weeks for me to process. I think sometimes it seems to others like i'm trying to supress and deny my emotions. In reality, it just takes me that long to form a reaction or understanding enough to act on them. Or, having an emotion in a situation without understanding, and then finally figuring it out long after the whole thing's over and there's nothing to be done anyways. meh.
Again, do emotions arise out of the body's instinctive reaction to situations? Or does my subconscious understand situations and cause the reactions in my body. Emotions like pulse quickening, nerve endings randomly firing, hands being unsteady, skin being sensitive; all of which could be reactions to either romance or anger.
meh. either or. stupid human condition. stupid liberal arts education making me even more of a headcase than i already was...