My thoughts...
Sometimes you have to work hard at being happy. Or I suppose I should say that some PEOPLE have to work hard at being happy. There are some who go dancing through life, productive and content without ever having to learn it, or without even realizing that they are. Some people don't have to be told that happiness is in the little things, like watching a Disney movie or drinking Mora juice and remembering the first time you tried it, but people like me need to be reminded.
We have to work for it. We have to constantly try to see the good things, even though they're right there in front of us...as real as all the negatives we collect to prove the optimists wrong. We have to stay busy, stay productive even if it sometimes kills us...because being stagnant and depressive is worse.
I have collected the negatives, built them up into huge mountains, until I have ceased to be able to see over them. I have determined that those who try only end up looking foolish because they can't fix all the problems all the time. I have been upset and sad and a burden to others.
And I probably will do and be all those things again....sometimes. But right now I am determined to make myself better.
I am keeping promises to myself. You should never break promises you make to yourself...though I've done it so many times before. "Maybe laters" and "It's-not-that-importants" add up to a lack of faith in ones self. If you can't trust yourself than you're in a bad place.
I promised myself yesterday that I would clean my room, wash the dishes and do my homework. I did those things...and just that makes me feel better. I worked out today...and I hated it. But I promised myself I would....so I will do it again tomorrow.
I want something else to eat. My Mora juice is gone... I want rosquillas y gatitos.
I hope Paul keeps Lestat for me.
We have to work for it. We have to constantly try to see the good things, even though they're right there in front of us...as real as all the negatives we collect to prove the optimists wrong. We have to stay busy, stay productive even if it sometimes kills us...because being stagnant and depressive is worse.
I have collected the negatives, built them up into huge mountains, until I have ceased to be able to see over them. I have determined that those who try only end up looking foolish because they can't fix all the problems all the time. I have been upset and sad and a burden to others.
And I probably will do and be all those things again....sometimes. But right now I am determined to make myself better.
I am keeping promises to myself. You should never break promises you make to yourself...though I've done it so many times before. "Maybe laters" and "It's-not-that-importants" add up to a lack of faith in ones self. If you can't trust yourself than you're in a bad place.
I promised myself yesterday that I would clean my room, wash the dishes and do my homework. I did those things...and just that makes me feel better. I worked out today...and I hated it. But I promised myself I would....so I will do it again tomorrow.
I want something else to eat. My Mora juice is gone... I want rosquillas y gatitos.
I hope Paul keeps Lestat for me.