disgusting filth

[squirecervantez]

right now
i cant stand it
my hatred and rage burst from my mind
i shake my head too and fro in regards
i think of how pointless everything i do is
of how nothing i do matters to anyone
and that i never do enough for some...

i had a dream where i slit my throat
i spread it wide open with a broken bottle
my esophagus fell out of the gash
and i smeared the blood all over my face and chest

i dont want to have dreams like this
what happened to my mind
my heart
my soul
i try to tap into what i used to have
and it just makes me angry all over again
because it just wont come to me
not like it used to

forgive my words
if i dont get them out
they will become to real inside my head
then ill cry even more than i already do