'Mama you know I love you'-Day 3
Your parents, in great detail
My parents. Hmm, my parents. Well, I have a mom and a 'sperm donor'. Dads are there for their kids, mine wasn't. Much to my delight or dismay I've done some stuff that's very tell-tale that I am my parents' child.
I grew up and have spent my whole life around my mom so she's my favorite parent, but not necessarily by default. She's nice and always thinking about others more so than herself-a blessing and a curse. She is also fiercely defensive and protective of her family. She'd defend us now in a heartbeat for any perceived threat, and my siblings and I are all grown. Her defensiveness is another blessing and a curse. We're so different in communication that we got into physical fights at least once a year from the time I was 13 til I was 18. I would say some slick shit and be fly out the mouth, or she would just not understand what I was meaning and take stuff the wrong way. By this time she was already mad and I didn't make it any better by being a smart ass. She'd start, I'd try to defend myself, it was mistaken for attacking back, thus making the situation worse. Definitely a rough patch. Despite the roughness of that time I learned stuff about myself and her. Ever the student and optimist am I. I never really cared for conflict nor fighting with my mom and they served to reiterate each other. We're not best friends but we do get along quite well. She still does stuff that annoys me but who's mom doesn't? I love my mama dearly though.
She's everybody's favorite sister and aunt. Hell, I dunno how many people throughout the years and even still wish that my mom was their mom. Not that she's perfect or be shittin on all the other mamas out there, but she is very nurturing. Everything that those people weren't getting from their own mom they found in my mom. Sometimes I didn't wanna share, but my mom taught me that sharing was loving, and that's still very ingrained in me to this day. If I have it you can pretty much get it. Part mom, part big family, part southern hospitality.
Then there's that man. Despite conscious efforts to acknowledge him with the father/dad epithet, I don't hate him. I actually don't really know him. I've heard he was goofy, awesome, and quite literally a little crazy (found out some years back he was diagnosed with manic-depression, dunno how bad it is though)-all of which I was able to 'inherit'. I don't really know the dude though. Its always a little weird when my cuzo shares fond memories of him. I don't know how to feel, whether to be indifferent but happy for her or a bit of admiration & relation to him.
My mom & him divorced when I was 4. He tried to deny paternity of my sisters. The last time I saw him was when I was 10. No, wait, last I saw him was an other side of my family 4th of July gathering last year. (We were 'lured' with a guarantee that he wasn't gonna be there. Then he showed up, stood three feet away from us at our table and didn't speak. His bros & sis that know us spent the rest of his time bitchin him out about it.) He gave us used toys for Christmas one year. He never wanted to take the three of us together, always only me. He and his wife would laugh at my mom while she was working when they went there. He would see us out in public and would pass by like we didn't exist. My family had to force us upon him so he'd speak. 'We say more by saying nothing at all'. My aunt (his sis) asked my mom not to speak badly of him to us or turn us against him. She didn't, but not because she was asked. I made my decision very early on. Instead of being all whiny and wondering why I just decided to reciprocate and not to care. Plus like I said, I don't know him anyway.
He's shown signs of wanting to...reconcile? Get to know us? Once when we stayed with my aunt (his sis) he came over and asked if he could see us. She told us she wasn't gonna make us, it was our choice. My sisters went to the door at least. Not me. He's recently told my cuzo that I'm close to that he would do stuff for us, which was very unexpected. He even acknowledged the fact that he had nothing to do with the way my sisters & I turned out when he was given a compliment by my sisters' co-workers. I dunno. I think he's getting old and realizing some shit. Maybe attempting to be sentimental but he doesn't know how. He thinks we don't like him, but he's never asked. I heard he & his wife were on the shits & maybe getting a divorce. She was a driving force behind him not having anything to do with us. Maybe he's slowly escaping her control and feels bad. I dunno. We'll see what happens and cross that bridge when we get there. I just don't know how easy or hard its gonna be.
My parents. Hmm, my parents. Well, I have a mom and a 'sperm donor'. Dads are there for their kids, mine wasn't. Much to my delight or dismay I've done some stuff that's very tell-tale that I am my parents' child.
I grew up and have spent my whole life around my mom so she's my favorite parent, but not necessarily by default. She's nice and always thinking about others more so than herself-a blessing and a curse. She is also fiercely defensive and protective of her family. She'd defend us now in a heartbeat for any perceived threat, and my siblings and I are all grown. Her defensiveness is another blessing and a curse. We're so different in communication that we got into physical fights at least once a year from the time I was 13 til I was 18. I would say some slick shit and be fly out the mouth, or she would just not understand what I was meaning and take stuff the wrong way. By this time she was already mad and I didn't make it any better by being a smart ass. She'd start, I'd try to defend myself, it was mistaken for attacking back, thus making the situation worse. Definitely a rough patch. Despite the roughness of that time I learned stuff about myself and her. Ever the student and optimist am I. I never really cared for conflict nor fighting with my mom and they served to reiterate each other. We're not best friends but we do get along quite well. She still does stuff that annoys me but who's mom doesn't? I love my mama dearly though.
She's everybody's favorite sister and aunt. Hell, I dunno how many people throughout the years and even still wish that my mom was their mom. Not that she's perfect or be shittin on all the other mamas out there, but she is very nurturing. Everything that those people weren't getting from their own mom they found in my mom. Sometimes I didn't wanna share, but my mom taught me that sharing was loving, and that's still very ingrained in me to this day. If I have it you can pretty much get it. Part mom, part big family, part southern hospitality.
Then there's that man. Despite conscious efforts to acknowledge him with the father/dad epithet, I don't hate him. I actually don't really know him. I've heard he was goofy, awesome, and quite literally a little crazy (found out some years back he was diagnosed with manic-depression, dunno how bad it is though)-all of which I was able to 'inherit'. I don't really know the dude though. Its always a little weird when my cuzo shares fond memories of him. I don't know how to feel, whether to be indifferent but happy for her or a bit of admiration & relation to him.
My mom & him divorced when I was 4. He tried to deny paternity of my sisters. The last time I saw him was when I was 10. No, wait, last I saw him was an other side of my family 4th of July gathering last year. (We were 'lured' with a guarantee that he wasn't gonna be there. Then he showed up, stood three feet away from us at our table and didn't speak. His bros & sis that know us spent the rest of his time bitchin him out about it.) He gave us used toys for Christmas one year. He never wanted to take the three of us together, always only me. He and his wife would laugh at my mom while she was working when they went there. He would see us out in public and would pass by like we didn't exist. My family had to force us upon him so he'd speak. 'We say more by saying nothing at all'. My aunt (his sis) asked my mom not to speak badly of him to us or turn us against him. She didn't, but not because she was asked. I made my decision very early on. Instead of being all whiny and wondering why I just decided to reciprocate and not to care. Plus like I said, I don't know him anyway.
He's shown signs of wanting to...reconcile? Get to know us? Once when we stayed with my aunt (his sis) he came over and asked if he could see us. She told us she wasn't gonna make us, it was our choice. My sisters went to the door at least. Not me. He's recently told my cuzo that I'm close to that he would do stuff for us, which was very unexpected. He even acknowledged the fact that he had nothing to do with the way my sisters & I turned out when he was given a compliment by my sisters' co-workers. I dunno. I think he's getting old and realizing some shit. Maybe attempting to be sentimental but he doesn't know how. He thinks we don't like him, but he's never asked. I heard he & his wife were on the shits & maybe getting a divorce. She was a driving force behind him not having anything to do with us. Maybe he's slowly escaping her control and feels bad. I dunno. We'll see what happens and cross that bridge when we get there. I just don't know how easy or hard its gonna be.