its been a while
I figured since it has been so long since I have really updated, i might as well spend my 15 minutes of free time doing just that. The past month or so has been pretty stressful. I am having such a hard time with the whole money thing. My parents paid for my dorm and food last year and now that I live off campus apparantly that is all my responsibility. I know that they can't afford to pay for it, but it is still really difficult since it took me a while to find a job, and the job i have still doesnt give me enough hours. Thomas has been working his butt off and he insists on paying for me all the time. I appreciate it but at the same time I don't want him to have to do that. He works way to much... he got a part time job at the meterology dept on campus so now he is working like 50 or so hours a week. He is trying to pay off his debt so that us getting married can actually be a possibility. I guess it is better for us to work hard now than to have to be stressed out about money later. But all that working stresses him out, which in turn stresses me out. It seems like we have gotten into these little arguments alot recently. AHHH!!! It's so crazy because i never want to be mad at him so i tell myself that I'm not mad, even when he makes me mad, and then that just festers into this big explosion of emotion... God teach me to express my true heart to people.
I still havent found a church. I am really ready to be plugged into a church body and connect with people who love Jesus. I need that so much. Right now I have Mary An and Thomas, who are wonderful but I need that place to serve where I feel like I am making a difference in people's lives, ya know? I feel as if I still havent quite made the transfer into college yet. It's very hard for me to get adjusted to a life where I never have a set schedule. Everyday I work at a different time, some days I have class, some i dont, I eat at different times, sleep at different time, etc. I am person who needs a schedule in order to function! I think that might be part of the reason I have been having such a hard time spending time with Jesus on a regular basis... but that probably isnt the biggest reason. I feel so unworthy. Ok well my 15 minutes is up!
I still havent found a church. I am really ready to be plugged into a church body and connect with people who love Jesus. I need that so much. Right now I have Mary An and Thomas, who are wonderful but I need that place to serve where I feel like I am making a difference in people's lives, ya know? I feel as if I still havent quite made the transfer into college yet. It's very hard for me to get adjusted to a life where I never have a set schedule. Everyday I work at a different time, some days I have class, some i dont, I eat at different times, sleep at different time, etc. I am person who needs a schedule in order to function! I think that might be part of the reason I have been having such a hard time spending time with Jesus on a regular basis... but that probably isnt the biggest reason. I feel so unworthy. Ok well my 15 minutes is up!