Comments | squidwhisk: Fic: Monsters, All of Us 3/4

squidwhisk

Fic: Monsters, All of Us 3/4

Nov 08, 2010 22:48

Title: Monsters, All of Us
Part: 3/4 A Dead Watch
Warnings:The Drama Llama is running rampant through this fic. Levity might appear here and there. Graphic description of senseless violence without any empathy. Comments and Criticism are not just appreciated, they are loved and treasured.

Prompt Link: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/ ( Read more... )

ツ Harry Watson, ∫ic | MAOU, ツ John Watson, ∫ic, ツ Sherlock Holmes, sherlock bbc (2010), ∫ic | in progress

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Re: feedback squidwhisk November 10 2010, 18:44:34 UTC

Thank you so much for this. Your recommendations are fantastic and obviously really well thought out. I think I managed to include the vast majority!! :) The only suggestion I had trouble with was the lack of periods. In the example you gave, my computer shows a period. Maybe this has to do with how my computer understands LJ's coding? Are there any other areas where this occurs?

The only other comment I didn't implement was changing the Browning to a Sig Sauer. I have unending faith in Moriarty being able to identify John’s gun in BBC canon (especially since his cabbie minion was dispatched with it). Also, I think Sherlock has less self-preservation instinct than a lemur and would have corrected Moriarty if he had made a mistake. So I am hedging on it being a staging oversight of the show’s prop staff. Also, thank you for the link to that post, it has made my heart very happy. Especially the “NOT A REVOLVER” !! Indeed.

Thank you for your recommended edits to the tense inconsistencies as they are the most difficult for me to pick up. As for “subjunctive mood” I had to look it up!! You have an ear for grammar that even Sherlock would envy! :)

Thank you again for your comments and your recommendations!

Re: feedback disassembly_rsn November 11 2010, 01:01:08 UTC

Note: I also sent you email about chapters 1 and 2 rather than responding via LJ comment for them.

About missing periods - I'm seeing it like this:

He didn’t have to look up to know which container John’s eyes would be drawn to “Don’t touch that.”
No period is visible after 'drawn to' but there should be one. I copied the text straight out of the LJ display to this comment, and it isn't showing a period.

Re: feedback squidwhisk November 12 2010, 16:48:14 UTC

You are awesome! Thank you, I got your e-mails and will be making the changes and replying to the incredible feedback in the next couple of days. :)

Also, I now see the period problem!! Apparently I have been doing that all over the place without noticing. Thank you for pointing it out!

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