Perversion Is All Around!
After my first post today about Brandon saying funny things about his butt I was entreated to more oddness. His mother had some dream where their family and me all went to Vegas. This is dream Vegas where time, space and location really mean nothing. In her comings and goings from the hotel room I evidently made some friend named Steve that I first shared a nap in the stairwell with and then later brought to the room for sitting down I guess. If there was dirtiness to the dream she didn't tell me. "Steve" from her description was somewhere in between a biker, a goth, and an emo kid. So I guess...Chris-Chris wearing all black with his left arm totally henna'd. (however you spell that, the on the skin tattoo thing they do at Faire)
More recently, Molly just farted the loudest that I have ever heard a dog fart, right in my doorway. This woke her up so she trotted into my room. I didn't notice at first for I was still reeling from the loud reeking horror she has just unleashed. I finally did notice because of the all too familiar sound of something rubbing the carpet and her sighing grunts. I promptly turned and forcefully bid her goodnight. She was doing her little pivoting butt rotation on the floor. Then she trotted down the hall, farted again and then started twisting. I usually can't hear that from across the house, but at 3am there isn't much sonic interference. My hypothesis that this seemingly always counter clockwise activity of hers, that is connected to her anal glands (its a dog thing...I checked...the internet) must be pleasurable enough to be considered masturbation. I have been calling it that for a long time. It is the sighing, grunting and tendency to look you right in the eyes as her face slowly rotates past. I sadly cannot capture it in text, I am not that skilled with onomatopoeia but she is currently making the cocker spaniel equivalent to, "Oh yeah!...Oh Yeah!" Like the Kathleen Turner, Sam Waterston sex scene in Serial Mom.
Please forgive the vulgarity but I have been putting up with this for months now and it is both stinky (as no matter how much I bathe her she stinks) and disgusting. Now I am sharing it with you. Lucky for you without pictures.
Seriously though, after the ferocity of the twisting, which is still going on...I need to go smoke. I mean nasty porn, even a dog and only in ear, not eye, shot is still porn.
More recently, Molly just farted the loudest that I have ever heard a dog fart, right in my doorway. This woke her up so she trotted into my room. I didn't notice at first for I was still reeling from the loud reeking horror she has just unleashed. I finally did notice because of the all too familiar sound of something rubbing the carpet and her sighing grunts. I promptly turned and forcefully bid her goodnight. She was doing her little pivoting butt rotation on the floor. Then she trotted down the hall, farted again and then started twisting. I usually can't hear that from across the house, but at 3am there isn't much sonic interference. My hypothesis that this seemingly always counter clockwise activity of hers, that is connected to her anal glands (its a dog thing...I checked...the internet) must be pleasurable enough to be considered masturbation. I have been calling it that for a long time. It is the sighing, grunting and tendency to look you right in the eyes as her face slowly rotates past. I sadly cannot capture it in text, I am not that skilled with onomatopoeia but she is currently making the cocker spaniel equivalent to, "Oh yeah!...Oh Yeah!" Like the Kathleen Turner, Sam Waterston sex scene in Serial Mom.
Please forgive the vulgarity but I have been putting up with this for months now and it is both stinky (as no matter how much I bathe her she stinks) and disgusting. Now I am sharing it with you. Lucky for you without pictures.
Seriously though, after the ferocity of the twisting, which is still going on...I need to go smoke. I mean nasty porn, even a dog and only in ear, not eye, shot is still porn.