Tales of the Fortunes
I see the irrepresible Mr Fortune is considering tracking down his ancestors. I've never thought this was a good idea, as the chances of find closets chock full of not only skeletons but also flesh-hungry zombies is worrying. Especially when your family history contains bizarre rumours regarding Cumbrian Gypsies and the Men of Leng. Anyway, maybe Ed will find more salubrious stuff in his family tree. Oddly enough, I was reading some books on the American Civil War recently and came across a Tidbit of historical info that Ed may find useful...
It turns out that a young chap by the name of Isiah Fortune, born in some Northern England backwater in the year of Our Lord 1841. He emigrated to the United States in 1861 to escape false accusations of book reading and fish-coveting that would have surely seen him hanged like so many monkeys, only to find his new home embroiled in bloody civil war. Keen to help shepherd this young nation into a new era of enlightenment and prosperity, he promptly signed up to fight. He enlisted in the Confederate 54th Texas Regiment (the famed Texan Wife-Kickers) due to an unfortunate misunderstanding about which side was the goodies and which was the baddies.
His military career was somewhat unispiring however, as he turned up late to The Battle of Bull Run, The Battle of Seven Pines and The Battle of Antietam, missing them all. However as the Battle of Gettysburg lasted several days, he did manage to make it there in time to see action. His regiment was to take part in the famous but doomed action known as Pickett's Charge, but unfortunately Isiah turned up two hours late for the advance to find his comrades had already been repulsed. Not to be deterred he bravely charged the union defences on his own, but was promptly shot dead by an Irishman dressed as Abraham Lincoln. Which is probably Ironic or something.