Shit and serenade
So the serenading is actually the shorter story. My Facebook update tonight: So I went to Winco to buy gravy mix, and only gravy mix. I had just found it and was reaching for it when I made eye contact with a guy, who then started singing, "Lord have mercy, baby's got her blue jeans on".
That's way too long for Twitter. As someone that holds an account, Twitter sucks.
As for the "shit", this requires a lot of boring explanation for anyone not familiar with the tanks or the fish, and I'm not sure I can do the story justice with text anyway. I told Kathleen that I would feed the koi this weekend and she didn't have to worry about them (my attempt to give her a break). I noticed that one tank was collecting a lot of poop, so I decided to siphon it out on my last visit for the weekend.
So I leave early (4:30) so I could get most if not all of the siphoning done close to 5 so they didn't go hungry for too long. I got there at 4:45 and figured I'd be done by 5:30.
Six koi split into two tanks that are circular with a diameter of, oh, 3-4 ft. Besides the fish and a tube to bring water in, the only things in the tank are two hard plastic tubes in the center of the tank, one over the drain to regulate water level and one on the outside of it to catch poop and prevent the floating food from going down the drain. The tanks are set up as such:
[Q6][Q5][Q4]
[Q1][Q2][Q3]
where we have fish in Q1 and Q5 (which we call G5 due to someone's error in labeling the tank).
There are two suggested ways of getting rid of the poop: lifting the inner center tube for a brief moment to empty the poop through the drain or to take a long flexible tube and use it like a vacuum cleaner hose and suck the poop out. For G5, I've tried the first way, but I have yet to be successful since it hurts my hand before I pull hard enough to remove the tube.
The G5 tank has three very lively koi that freak out every time you open the top. No matter how gently you lift the top, they'll be like, "ZOMG!" and run smack into the back of the tank...or just race laps for a few minutes. If there's a lot of poop in the tank, it's very noticeable because they stir it all up when you open the tank. >.< It's like a goddamn snow globe except with poop.
The Q1 tank has three very mellow koi that don't even flinch when you open the top. They just kind of float there, like "duh...meh..." They do freak out a little when you start closing the lid, and even then, the laps are like, "oh...noez..." That tank always looks clean...only maybe 5 drops of poop visible at the most, usually only 2 or 3. These are the koi that often don't finish their food so I've wondered why there's never poop seen in there, but never thought much on it.
So I siphoned the G5 tank, no problem. Was very thorough this time since last time I did it, Kathleen unintentionally and probably unknowingly pointed out that I forgot to lift the center tube and siphon the crap stuck in there. Fed them, then moved onto the Q1 tank. I fed them, too, since siphoning their tank is always really brief and easy. Then I thought, 'I should probably get inside their tube, too.' So I lifted it up and set it to the side. Then realized that the food was going down the drain so I scrambled to swipe the food away from the center...and then I looked down and beheld this ENORMOUS mass of poop that had been collecting for the last two weeks. A lot of it was stuck together and falling over in slow motion, like the fucking like likes in Ocarina of Time. I swear, it was practically saying, "rawr, I'ma gonna eat you!"
Now the fish had freaked out when I moved the tube, like "omg!omg! Something in the tank moved!" and were stirring everything up. It was a freaking shit blizzard--you could hardly see through it. Not helpful. So now I'm nearly dancing next to the tank thinking, 'shit! shit! What do I do? That mass is WAY too big for the siphon.'
So I grabbed the center tube, hoping to empty most of the crap out before they stirred it up completely. Considering that I haven't succeeded at pulling up the G5 tube, I yanked this tube with as much sharp force as I could muster. Apparently, I didn't need nearly that much force. I nearly fell over. And then recovered in time to get a face full of water shooting out of the center of the tube. Much later, I realized that since I had completely taken the outside tube off, that was probably not a good idea to do without something to prevent the fish from getting stuck in the drain. Luckily, I managed to shove the tube back into the drain before any fish got stuck.
By now, the usually mellow koi were zipping around the tank like "OMGOMGOMG! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!" This is the fastest I have ever seen them move. The blizzard had spread out into one big snow storm, and I started siphoning everything up. It only took them a few seconds to slow down again. Then it felt like they were saying, "now why the fuck did you do that??" as they swam through a shower of their own crap for the first time since coming here.
As if to add insult to the chaos, I got splashed from outside of the tank as I started siphoning. I looked up in time to see the orange flashing where I left the G5 tank open (this is why I gave the layout above...whatever fish that was splashed me from at least four feet away). Kind of like they were laughing at me.
Anyway, by the time I was satisfied with the siphoning, fed them (replenished the lost food in the Q1 tank even though they probably won't eat it), recorded in the daily log, I was ready to leave by 6:20. I would have, but I stopped to watch a spider finish spinning her web...of course, it started raining right when she finished but the rain was brief.
Anyway, should be a fun story to recount.
That's way too long for Twitter. As someone that holds an account, Twitter sucks.
As for the "shit", this requires a lot of boring explanation for anyone not familiar with the tanks or the fish, and I'm not sure I can do the story justice with text anyway. I told Kathleen that I would feed the koi this weekend and she didn't have to worry about them (my attempt to give her a break). I noticed that one tank was collecting a lot of poop, so I decided to siphon it out on my last visit for the weekend.
So I leave early (4:30) so I could get most if not all of the siphoning done close to 5 so they didn't go hungry for too long. I got there at 4:45 and figured I'd be done by 5:30.
Six koi split into two tanks that are circular with a diameter of, oh, 3-4 ft. Besides the fish and a tube to bring water in, the only things in the tank are two hard plastic tubes in the center of the tank, one over the drain to regulate water level and one on the outside of it to catch poop and prevent the floating food from going down the drain. The tanks are set up as such:
[Q6][Q5][Q4]
[Q1][Q2][Q3]
where we have fish in Q1 and Q5 (which we call G5 due to someone's error in labeling the tank).
There are two suggested ways of getting rid of the poop: lifting the inner center tube for a brief moment to empty the poop through the drain or to take a long flexible tube and use it like a vacuum cleaner hose and suck the poop out. For G5, I've tried the first way, but I have yet to be successful since it hurts my hand before I pull hard enough to remove the tube.
The G5 tank has three very lively koi that freak out every time you open the top. No matter how gently you lift the top, they'll be like, "ZOMG!" and run smack into the back of the tank...or just race laps for a few minutes. If there's a lot of poop in the tank, it's very noticeable because they stir it all up when you open the tank. >.< It's like a goddamn snow globe except with poop.
The Q1 tank has three very mellow koi that don't even flinch when you open the top. They just kind of float there, like "duh...meh..." They do freak out a little when you start closing the lid, and even then, the laps are like, "oh...noez..." That tank always looks clean...only maybe 5 drops of poop visible at the most, usually only 2 or 3. These are the koi that often don't finish their food so I've wondered why there's never poop seen in there, but never thought much on it.
So I siphoned the G5 tank, no problem. Was very thorough this time since last time I did it, Kathleen unintentionally and probably unknowingly pointed out that I forgot to lift the center tube and siphon the crap stuck in there. Fed them, then moved onto the Q1 tank. I fed them, too, since siphoning their tank is always really brief and easy. Then I thought, 'I should probably get inside their tube, too.' So I lifted it up and set it to the side. Then realized that the food was going down the drain so I scrambled to swipe the food away from the center...and then I looked down and beheld this ENORMOUS mass of poop that had been collecting for the last two weeks. A lot of it was stuck together and falling over in slow motion, like the fucking like likes in Ocarina of Time. I swear, it was practically saying, "rawr, I'ma gonna eat you!"
Now the fish had freaked out when I moved the tube, like "omg!omg! Something in the tank moved!" and were stirring everything up. It was a freaking shit blizzard--you could hardly see through it. Not helpful. So now I'm nearly dancing next to the tank thinking, 'shit! shit! What do I do? That mass is WAY too big for the siphon.'
So I grabbed the center tube, hoping to empty most of the crap out before they stirred it up completely. Considering that I haven't succeeded at pulling up the G5 tube, I yanked this tube with as much sharp force as I could muster. Apparently, I didn't need nearly that much force. I nearly fell over. And then recovered in time to get a face full of water shooting out of the center of the tube. Much later, I realized that since I had completely taken the outside tube off, that was probably not a good idea to do without something to prevent the fish from getting stuck in the drain. Luckily, I managed to shove the tube back into the drain before any fish got stuck.
By now, the usually mellow koi were zipping around the tank like "OMGOMGOMG! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!" This is the fastest I have ever seen them move. The blizzard had spread out into one big snow storm, and I started siphoning everything up. It only took them a few seconds to slow down again. Then it felt like they were saying, "now why the fuck did you do that??" as they swam through a shower of their own crap for the first time since coming here.
As if to add insult to the chaos, I got splashed from outside of the tank as I started siphoning. I looked up in time to see the orange flashing where I left the G5 tank open (this is why I gave the layout above...whatever fish that was splashed me from at least four feet away). Kind of like they were laughing at me.
Anyway, by the time I was satisfied with the siphoning, fed them (replenished the lost food in the Q1 tank even though they probably won't eat it), recorded in the daily log, I was ready to leave by 6:20. I would have, but I stopped to watch a spider finish spinning her web...of course, it started raining right when she finished but the rain was brief.
Anyway, should be a fun story to recount.