Hot Summer Days are coming
I think that everyone has had those moments where they look themselves in the mirror and wish that for just one day they could be someone else. I've had one of those moments. I wished I was someone I wasn't so that I could have what I want... to just experience it for once in my life. I either want to be prettier or better in sports or smarter. I always feel bad because I know I'm supposed to love me for me, but it's hard when there's so many people close to perfection out there. But wouldn't that be great? To just know, that you could wish to be someone else, someone so different from you... to have what you've always dreamed of? Sometimes I lay in bed at night and just imagine of what could be-- I mean, I could write countless lists of everything I wonder but the one thing I always daydream about-- is being someone else. Someone whose without my flaws.
Today was a pretty awesome day. I was hyper and happy and nothing could have brought me down. I was at such a high that I was so relieved because I hadn't had one of those days in a while. I miss being carefree. I miss... just being, wild.
And then there's him. I don't know why I keep fooling myself and telling myself that just maybe, for a little, we can be an us... but that's just what I'm doing. Fooling myself. There probably won't ever be an us, so why am I wasting all my hope on him? It's true, I'll still be waiting... As he writes in his letters to me...
"HEY, THANKS FOR BEING A GREAT FRIEND!"
Let's all just stare at that 6 letter word-- friend.
THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS. I CAN HEAR MY INSIDES SCREAMING. WHHHHHYYYYYY. WHHHHHYYYYY. WHHYYYYYY, DOES HE HAVE TO BE, HIM?! AUGH!