[HP] [Het] [T] Where I Can Howl, Without the Neighbors Noticing
This ficlet was part of The Great Ficlet Project, in which 26 different fandoms were represented, each with a ficlet based on a song lyric provided by my friends list.
Title: Where I Can Howl, Without the Neighbors Noticing
(Emma Townsend lyric, provided by Lyssie)
Genre: Het, Angst, Friendship
Pairing/Characters: Lupin/Tonks, S. Black
Length: 432 words
Spoilers: OotP
Lately, he’s allowed himself to think of a future. That’s a large step for Remus Lupin. His life experience has taught him that nothing is certain. One minute he was a normal boy, and in the next he was bitten. One minute he had wonderful friends, the kind of friends he thought would be a family for life, and the next minute they were all ripped away from him. One minute, he had a career that he loved, living in the only home that he had ever loved, and the next he was homeless, jobless, and alone. One minute he is human, the next a dark creature. His life swings like a pendulum, from perfection to despair.
But now, after so many aimless years, it seems like life is finally coming to a balance. He’s found a home at Grimmauld Place, imperfect though it may be with Mrs. Black‘s portrait screeching at him daily and much of the damage of a decade left in darkness still to undo. He’s reclaimed a true friend in Sirius, though their relationship sometimes seems a shadow of what it once was. (As Sirius seems a shadow himself, this is unavoidable.) Though the work is dangerous and difficult, he has a purpose again, working for the Order. And then there’s Tonks.
Tonks frightens him, because she is too close to ideal, and in his experience, perfection precedes disaster. Still, he finds himself dreaming again. When all this is over, when Voldemort is defeated, perhaps things will be different. Perhaps there will be more goodness in the world, more trust. If the climate changes for him, if he can get a job and build a life, perhaps Tonks will agree to build it with him. He pictures a little cottage, far away from prying neighbors, Tonks doing her paperwork in the study while he reads, Sirius coming by later to join them for supper. He pictures laughter, happiness, contentment. He pictures permanence.
It’s this future he’s protecting, he tells himself, by protecting Harry. It’s this future he’s protecting, and he only doubts when he sees them fall. When it’s over, he knows he did the right thing, not only for his own future, but for the future of the world. And he’s grateful. Grateful that Dumbledore arrived, grateful that Harry somehow survived, grateful that Tonks will recover.
But most of all, he’s grateful for the wards that protect Grimmauld Place from detection. As Sirius assured him before Remus underwent his first transformation within its walls, it’s a place where he can cry and howl without the neighbors noticing.
Title: Where I Can Howl, Without the Neighbors Noticing
(Emma Townsend lyric, provided by Lyssie)
Genre: Het, Angst, Friendship
Pairing/Characters: Lupin/Tonks, S. Black
Length: 432 words
Spoilers: OotP
Lately, he’s allowed himself to think of a future. That’s a large step for Remus Lupin. His life experience has taught him that nothing is certain. One minute he was a normal boy, and in the next he was bitten. One minute he had wonderful friends, the kind of friends he thought would be a family for life, and the next minute they were all ripped away from him. One minute, he had a career that he loved, living in the only home that he had ever loved, and the next he was homeless, jobless, and alone. One minute he is human, the next a dark creature. His life swings like a pendulum, from perfection to despair.
But now, after so many aimless years, it seems like life is finally coming to a balance. He’s found a home at Grimmauld Place, imperfect though it may be with Mrs. Black‘s portrait screeching at him daily and much of the damage of a decade left in darkness still to undo. He’s reclaimed a true friend in Sirius, though their relationship sometimes seems a shadow of what it once was. (As Sirius seems a shadow himself, this is unavoidable.) Though the work is dangerous and difficult, he has a purpose again, working for the Order. And then there’s Tonks.
Tonks frightens him, because she is too close to ideal, and in his experience, perfection precedes disaster. Still, he finds himself dreaming again. When all this is over, when Voldemort is defeated, perhaps things will be different. Perhaps there will be more goodness in the world, more trust. If the climate changes for him, if he can get a job and build a life, perhaps Tonks will agree to build it with him. He pictures a little cottage, far away from prying neighbors, Tonks doing her paperwork in the study while he reads, Sirius coming by later to join them for supper. He pictures laughter, happiness, contentment. He pictures permanence.
It’s this future he’s protecting, he tells himself, by protecting Harry. It’s this future he’s protecting, and he only doubts when he sees them fall. When it’s over, he knows he did the right thing, not only for his own future, but for the future of the world. And he’s grateful. Grateful that Dumbledore arrived, grateful that Harry somehow survived, grateful that Tonks will recover.
But most of all, he’s grateful for the wards that protect Grimmauld Place from detection. As Sirius assured him before Remus underwent his first transformation within its walls, it’s a place where he can cry and howl without the neighbors noticing.