(Skin Deep) Chapter 9: Always/Realization (9/10)
Title: Skin Deep
Part: Chapter 9: Always/Realization
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck, Kurt/OMC, OFC, OMC and appearances by the glee kids.
Author’s Note: This fic takes place both in the future and past.
- I know there are tons of spoilers out for the upcoming episodes. Please don’t post them in the comments.
Warning: Everything that has aired is considered fair game. There are spoilers if you haven’t seen through “Original Song.”
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Seven years after graduation, Puck learns there are some wounds that are more than skin deep.
Skin Deep:
Skin DeepChapter 9: Always/Realization
In which Puck plays the piano…
First day of senior year was done, over with. And Puck couldn’t help but feel a little weird about that. Like, soon this would all be over, and he’d be free. Free to wake up whenever he wanted, and do whatever he wanted without having to worry about homework or detentions. But the feeling of nostalgia didn’t last long.
Puck, after all, wasn’t really one to get all introspective about things. He was a live-in-the-moment, act-now-think-later-kinda guy. The end of senior year would come, and he would deal with it when it did.
Until that day arrived though, he fully intended to carpe the diem as much as possible. And he knew just where he was going to start….
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Puck stood in the doorway of the choir room. Kurt was sitting at the piano, picking out notes, and matching his voice to them. Each key climbed a step higher, and he would mimic it perfectly, his clear tone ringing through the air.
Stepping into the room, Puck thought about all of the times he’d listened to Kurt sing. The kid was… amazing. Sure, Rachel was great and all, but Kurt… there was just something incredible about his singing. It was like he lived the song he was performing. He didn’t just put on some show face for every performance like Rachel did. He became that song completely. Puck knew how stupid that sounded, but it was the truth. And he’d always loved that about Kurt’s singing.
A few feet behind Kurt, Puck stopped. He hated to interrupt, but he’d come with a purpose. And that far outweighed his desire to listen to Kurt sing. He knew he’d have plenty of opportunities to listen to him perform in glee club. This, however, he only had one shot at.
Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the piano and slid onto the bench next to Kurt. At first, Kurt didn’t acknowledge his presence, choosing to finish his note instead. But that didn’t bother Puck, because it gave him a few more seconds to plan. (Which he hadn’t done at all before now.)
As the last of the high C finally died away, Kurt turned to Puck. His eyes were wide with curiosity. “Puckerman. To what do I owe the pleasure?” The question could easily have been filled with sarcasm, but Puck was pleased to find that it wasn’t. But that didn’t make him any less nervous.
For a second, Puck just stared at him. The last time they’d seen each other was at Finn’s Fourth of July party. And even though it was only a couple of months later, Kurt looked older, more mature. Granted, he still looked younger than most freshmen but still. The change was noticeable.
“I was just….” Puck’s voice trailed off uncertainly. He had absolutely no idea what to say. “Huh….” He dropped his eyes to the black and white piano keys in front of him. Buying for time, he tentatively reached out and pressed a few of them down. The room was filled with a random assortment of sound that seemed blasphemous compared to what Kurt had been doing. But when he looked over and found Kurt smiling at him patiently, he knew what he had to do.
Sliding forward on the bench a little, Puck poised both of his hands over the piano. This time though, when he began to play, he wasn’t nervous at all. The song that he’d chosen was soft and light. And while it was the first thing that had come to mind, he also hoped that it would make Kurt want to pick up where they’d left off at the party.
“Always, sing your love to me softly.” Puck made sure to keep his voice gentle to match the music. “Sweetly, turn the pages on always.” His fingers still moving over the keys, Puck tried to look at Kurt out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to turn and look at him, but Puck was afraid that if he did, he’d lose his nerve. From what he could see though, Kurt was still watching at him and smiling slightly.
“In the night, I was born, lived a new summer morn’.” Puck closed his eyes, wishing he knew what Kurt was thinking. “Always, sing your love, co-”
Before Puck knew what was happening, Kurt’s lips were on his, and his palm was against his cheek. Relishing the feel of Kurt kissing him, Puck forgot about the song. His fingers abandoned the piano keys in favor of cupping Kurt’s face. Under his hands, Kurt’s skin was smooth to the touch, just like Puck had thought it would be.
Stroking his thumbs over Kurt’s cheekbones, Puck was content to feel and explore. He returned Kurt’s kiss, applying just enough pressure to barely feel their mouths grace one another once, twice, before pulling away.
When their lips parted, Puck lingered for a moment before opening his eyes. Against his cheek, Kurt mimicked Puck’s earlier movements by running his thumb over his skin. The faint touch caused Puck to smile, and Kurt laughed breathily. Opening his eyes, Puck said, “I have been waiting months to do that.” He slid his hands away from Kurt’s face. For just a moment he let his fingers linger at the base of Kurt’s skull before pulling away.
Kurt’s eyes pointedly flickered down to Puck’s lips as he pulled his own hand away. “Well….” Puck watched hungrily as he rubbed his lips together. And Puck imagined it was because Kurt was trying to remember the feel of the kiss. “I didn’t tell you before, but I think you could use some practice.” Puck’s mouth fell open in shock, and Kurt chuckled mischievously. “And it’s lucky for you that my evenings are free for tutoring.” The offer came out sounding matter-of-fact, but Puck knew that that wasn’t the case at all. He could see the truth of what Kurt was saying in his sparkling eyes.
“Ok, then….” Puck pretended to consider the offer, and Kurt arched one eyebrow. “We better get to work on that as soon as possible. How about Friday night?” He tried to bite back the smile as if the thought of being tutored was terrible. He, however, had never been that successful at hiding his feelings.
Without responding, Kurt slid off the bench and picked up his school bag. Before walking out of the choir room, he looked down at Puck and said, “Let me check my calendar. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
As he disappeared from the room, Puck sat at the piano feeling positive that his life would never be the same again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
In which morning has broken…
Before Puck even opened his eyes the next morning, he felt a searing pain shoot through his gut.
Last night had been… amazing.
Absolutely perfect.
And despite all of the time that had passed, being with Kurt again… it had felt like they’d never been apart. Not even for a day.
Their bodies had still fit together perfectly, each a compliment to the other. It was almost like two halves of a whole that had finally been put back together again. Each and every line and curve and jagged edge they possessed had fit together perfectly.
For a time, they were one, not a single space between them. For hours, fingers had retraced old paths and gentle kisses had brought back old memories…
Memories of movie dates and senseless fights, hiding from the glee club and talking late into the night.
Puck had been reminded of what they’d been while being shown what they could be now.
And he’d wanted it all.
As they lay together afterward, curled tightly against one another, Puck had felt content and fulfilled. He’d pulled Kurt even closer and pressed his lips against Kurt’s hair and thought to himself, “This is it. This is what it means to be happy. Great job, a dog, and Kurt. That’s all I need in life.” At that moment, everything had seemed so simple. He’d drifted off to sleep thinking about the future. He’d wondered if Kurt would move to California or if he could find a cheap apartment in New York that allowed pets.
A couple of hours later, Puck had woken up to find Kurt disentangling himself from his arms. At first, Puck had thought that Kurt was just trying to get more comfortable. But when he’d opened his eyes to find Kurt slipping his jeans back on, his eyes had snapped open. “What’s going on?” Even though he’d been fast asleep, Puck had found that he was completely awake and alert.
Kurt had zipped up his pants before looking over at him. “I have to go.” Puck had watched as he’d bent over and picked up his shirt. Puck had felt confused but also slightly sick by what he was seeing.
“What?” He’d sat up and flicked on the bedside table, hoping that that would make things clearer. It had been a ridiculous thought, but at the moment, he’d been desperate.
“I need to get back to the hotel before Biff.” Kurt had thrown on his shirt and started rooting around for his shoes. And for some reason, Puck had been shocked that Kurt didn’t stop to do up the buttons. Kurt had always been a stickler for making sure that buttons, laces, ties, whatever he was wearing, was done up properly.
For the third time, Puck had said, “What?” He’d rolled over to the side of the bed, trying to figure out what was going on. “But… I thought that we….” Despite what had happened the night before though, he’d suddenly felt self-conscious about being naked. He’d pulled the white sheet around his waist, trying to hide the fact that he was bare.
“That we what?” Kurt had finally stopped searching for his clothes and turned to him. “That we were back together?” He’d stared at Puck, his face twisted in shock and confusion. Puck couldn’t help but notice that Kurt’s eyes flickered from sheet he’d pulled around himself like a shroud.
Puck hadn’t been able to respond.
“Noah….” Kurt had stepped towards Puck, reaching out like he wanted to touch him. But at the last second, he’d pulled his hand back. “I have my business in New York.” He’d closed his eyes tightly before looking at Puck again. “And a boyfriend that I’ve been with for two years. I’m sorry, but I can’t….”
“You can’t?” The words had come out sounding dazed.
“No, I can’t.” Kurt’s face had fallen like he felt sorry or upset or… something. “Noah, I have a life.” He’d stared at Puck, and Puck had been able to tell that Kurt had wanted to say more.
However, Puck had gotten up and walked into the bathroom before he could, making sure that the sheet went with him. And even as he’d disappeared into the small room, he’d felt like a coward for running away. But seeing Kurt searching for his clothes like the night they’d shared at had been a dirty one night stand…
He hadn’t been able to stand it.
And anything, even hiding, had seemed better than staying in the bedroom while Kurt gathered his things.
He’d sat in there until he’d heard the apartment door open and close ten minutes later.
Now, he was lying in bed, the sunlight shining in through the window. And even though the light washing over his bare skin was warm, he felt cold, alone.
Worse yet was that not only did he feel alone, he was alone.
A few days ago, being by himself hadn’t bothered him. He’d dated casually, bringing someone home every once in a while. And when he didn’t have someone over for the night, Puck had had Max and Meena to keep him company.
But now that Kurt had been there, in his bed….
It was painfully obvious just how lonely he really was.
Even without opening his eyes, Puck could still feel Kurt’s presence in his apartment. His scent was all over the sheets and pillows. And Puck knew that if he was to walk into the living room, the end table they’d knocked over would still be lying on its side. Those little things made Puck feel like…
In just a few hours, Kurt had managed to seep back into his life, filling up all of the cracks he hadn’t even known were there.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Puck sat at the kitchen counter, pressing his cellphone to his ear. “Come on….” He tapped his foot on the floor in irritation. “Pick up. Pick up. Pi- Abs! Hey.” Puck’s foot suddenly stopped. “Is mom there?”
After crawling out of bed, Puck had taken a long hot shower. But the longer he’d stayed in and the cleaner he became, the dirtier Puck had felt.
He’d been down this road years ago, and he had a ten year old daughter out there somewhere because of it. And after the whole Finn/Quinn/Baby disaster, he’d sworn he would never cheat on or with someone again. He’d even told Rachel that when she’d tried to use him to get back at Finn.
He’d lost his best friend and gotten Quinn pregnant because of his hormones, and it hadn’t been worth it.
Now here he was…
Feeling sick and ashamed because he’d unwittingly cheated with Kurt.
But he’d thought, really thought that Kurt had come back to him. And that even though he’d talked so much about Biff, Kurt had changed his mind about being with him.
In retrospect, it seemed so naïve, but Puck had honestly believed they were a couple again the second Kurt had kissed him.
And as he’d showered, Puck couldn’t help but think about how stupid he’d been.
Now, a few hours later, he was on the phone, wishing his mom was home. He tried to make a point of calling her once a week, but this wasn’t his weekly call to ask how she was. No, this time Puck was calling, because he needed his mom. It had been years since he’d really needed her for anything, but now he did.
Clutching the cell to his ear, he waited for his sister to respond. Normally, he didn’t mind chatting with her a little, but he wasn’t in the mood right now. “Abby?”
“Yeah, yeah. Hold on. I’m getting her.” Abby sounded distracted, but Puck could hear her walking through the house. Next thing he knew, she was mumbling something Puck couldn’t make out and then the phone was being handed over.
“Noah, baby, what’s wrong?” Through the earpiece, Puck’s mom’s voice sounded worried. Abby had obviously realized that something wasn’t right.
“Hey, Ma.” Puck swallowed deeply. Now that she was on the phone, he didn’t know what to say. “I, uh….”
“Yes?” The word came out gently, but he knew she was trying to move him along.
“I….” Putting his forehead in his hand, Puck sighed heavily. “I totally screwed up.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
“Door’s open!” Puck came out of the bathroom just as Meena walked in, Max following on his leash. Puck set down the box he was holding and placed his hands on his hips.
“So what’s so important that you….” Meena stopped in the middle of the room, her eyes taking in the boxes Puck had left on the floor. “Noah! What’s going on?”
Puck had known she’d be upset, and he’d planned out a speech for her and everything. But when he saw her stricken face, it all went out the window. All he could say was, “I’m moving, Meena.”
“But…. What….” As he watched her, Puck felt like he could practically see her mind racing. “Why…. I thought….”
“I just,” Puck’s voice trailed off, and he dropped his hands. “I need to get out of here.”
“I don’t understand.” Max was straining against his leash in an effort to get to Puck. When it finally slipped from her grip, Puck called the dog over.
“I really….” He gave Max’s head a scratch, and he struggled to find the right thing to say. “I need to go.” He knew he was repeating himself, but there was nothing else to say. He couldn’t tell her that now Kurt had been in his apartment that it was like his ghost was lingering there now. Or how, every time he turned around, he felt Kurt’s presence or smelled his scent. And he certainly couldn’t tell her that those things were eating him alive.
“Noah….” A tear began to slide down Meena’s cheek, and Puck felt himself cringe. He’d never been good in the face of tears. “Did I do something?”
Unhooking the leash from Max’s collar, Puck scratched him once more before straightening up. The dog appeased, Puck tossed the leash on the couch. “Come ‘ere.” He reached out his arms and pulled his friend close. She didn’t resist, instead, wrapping her arms around his stomach and crying into his chest. “I just need to go, Meen.”
Meena snuffled and wiped her nose on Puck’s shirt before looking up at him. “If….” Her chest heaved a tiny sob. “If I tell you my story will you stay? You won’t even have to give me a tattoo.” Her eyes were pleading, but he couldn’t let that get to him.
Squeezing her more tightly, Puck shook his head. “No.” Once again, her chest heaved against his. “But I need your help, ok?” Before she responded, he knew what she’d say. Meena had always helped him out, never asking for anything in return. So he felt terrible about asking for such a huge favor from her.
“Yeah, of course.” She snuffled her nose as she pulled away. “What do you need?” Meena managed a watery smile.
“Well, I’m leaving tomorrow. I talked to Sully, and he understands. I’m gonna have to pay on my lease but whatever.” Puck shrugged. “So I’m only packing up essentials right now. Whatever I can fit in the trunk and the backseat of my car.”
“But what about the rest of your stuff?” Meena wiped at her eyes as she looked around the apartment.
“Well….” Puck slid his hands into his back pockets and dipped his head sheepishly. “Like I said, I’m only taking the important stuff right now.” He dropped his head a little more. “So I was wondering if you could help me pack everything. And then… ship the rest of the stuff to me… when I get there….” He felt awful asking, but it was the only way he could be out by tomorrow.
Meena stared at him, her face strangely blank. And Puck wondered if maybe he’d finally asked too much of her. When she parted her purple lips to speak, Puck held his breath. “Why are you running away? Is it because of Kurt?”
Her question sunk into his bones.
When he’d been on the phone with his mom earlier, he’d told her everything that had happened since Kurt had stood him up in Lima. Granted, he’d skipped over some of the gorier details, but she’d gotten the gist of it. And while she’d listened, she’d sat quietly, not interrupting once. But when he’d finished the story, she’d asked him, “Have you been living for this reunion for the past seven years?”
The question had hit him squarely in the gut and taken his breath away. It had taken a few moments before he’d been able to mutter, “Yeah.”
Looking at Meena, Puck smiled sadly. “I’m not running from Kurt. I’m running toward myself.”
Chapter 10: Fireworks/Decision
Squeeka Cuomo’s Notes
- The song lyrics are from the beautiful Weezer song Always.
- Thank you all for being so very patient and for sticking with this story. I’m so thankful for the support.
- Quack: Thank you for your continued support.
- Reviews are love.
Skin Deep
Chapter 1: Promises/Seven Years
Chapter 2: Acceptance/Inked
Chapter 3: Out/Initials
Chapter 4: Decisions/Infected
Chapter 5: Doo Wop/Muffins
Chapter 6: Sweaters/Scared
Chapter 7: Marked/Joe’s Place
Chapter 8: Private/Pumpkin
Part: Chapter 9: Always/Realization
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck, Kurt/OMC, OFC, OMC and appearances by the glee kids.
Author’s Note: This fic takes place both in the future and past.
- I know there are tons of spoilers out for the upcoming episodes. Please don’t post them in the comments.
Warning: Everything that has aired is considered fair game. There are spoilers if you haven’t seen through “Original Song.”
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Seven years after graduation, Puck learns there are some wounds that are more than skin deep.
Skin Deep:
Skin DeepChapter 9: Always/Realization
In which Puck plays the piano…
First day of senior year was done, over with. And Puck couldn’t help but feel a little weird about that. Like, soon this would all be over, and he’d be free. Free to wake up whenever he wanted, and do whatever he wanted without having to worry about homework or detentions. But the feeling of nostalgia didn’t last long.
Puck, after all, wasn’t really one to get all introspective about things. He was a live-in-the-moment, act-now-think-later-kinda guy. The end of senior year would come, and he would deal with it when it did.
Until that day arrived though, he fully intended to carpe the diem as much as possible. And he knew just where he was going to start….
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Puck stood in the doorway of the choir room. Kurt was sitting at the piano, picking out notes, and matching his voice to them. Each key climbed a step higher, and he would mimic it perfectly, his clear tone ringing through the air.
Stepping into the room, Puck thought about all of the times he’d listened to Kurt sing. The kid was… amazing. Sure, Rachel was great and all, but Kurt… there was just something incredible about his singing. It was like he lived the song he was performing. He didn’t just put on some show face for every performance like Rachel did. He became that song completely. Puck knew how stupid that sounded, but it was the truth. And he’d always loved that about Kurt’s singing.
A few feet behind Kurt, Puck stopped. He hated to interrupt, but he’d come with a purpose. And that far outweighed his desire to listen to Kurt sing. He knew he’d have plenty of opportunities to listen to him perform in glee club. This, however, he only had one shot at.
Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the piano and slid onto the bench next to Kurt. At first, Kurt didn’t acknowledge his presence, choosing to finish his note instead. But that didn’t bother Puck, because it gave him a few more seconds to plan. (Which he hadn’t done at all before now.)
As the last of the high C finally died away, Kurt turned to Puck. His eyes were wide with curiosity. “Puckerman. To what do I owe the pleasure?” The question could easily have been filled with sarcasm, but Puck was pleased to find that it wasn’t. But that didn’t make him any less nervous.
For a second, Puck just stared at him. The last time they’d seen each other was at Finn’s Fourth of July party. And even though it was only a couple of months later, Kurt looked older, more mature. Granted, he still looked younger than most freshmen but still. The change was noticeable.
“I was just….” Puck’s voice trailed off uncertainly. He had absolutely no idea what to say. “Huh….” He dropped his eyes to the black and white piano keys in front of him. Buying for time, he tentatively reached out and pressed a few of them down. The room was filled with a random assortment of sound that seemed blasphemous compared to what Kurt had been doing. But when he looked over and found Kurt smiling at him patiently, he knew what he had to do.
Sliding forward on the bench a little, Puck poised both of his hands over the piano. This time though, when he began to play, he wasn’t nervous at all. The song that he’d chosen was soft and light. And while it was the first thing that had come to mind, he also hoped that it would make Kurt want to pick up where they’d left off at the party.
“Always, sing your love to me softly.” Puck made sure to keep his voice gentle to match the music. “Sweetly, turn the pages on always.” His fingers still moving over the keys, Puck tried to look at Kurt out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to turn and look at him, but Puck was afraid that if he did, he’d lose his nerve. From what he could see though, Kurt was still watching at him and smiling slightly.
“In the night, I was born, lived a new summer morn’.” Puck closed his eyes, wishing he knew what Kurt was thinking. “Always, sing your love, co-”
Before Puck knew what was happening, Kurt’s lips were on his, and his palm was against his cheek. Relishing the feel of Kurt kissing him, Puck forgot about the song. His fingers abandoned the piano keys in favor of cupping Kurt’s face. Under his hands, Kurt’s skin was smooth to the touch, just like Puck had thought it would be.
Stroking his thumbs over Kurt’s cheekbones, Puck was content to feel and explore. He returned Kurt’s kiss, applying just enough pressure to barely feel their mouths grace one another once, twice, before pulling away.
When their lips parted, Puck lingered for a moment before opening his eyes. Against his cheek, Kurt mimicked Puck’s earlier movements by running his thumb over his skin. The faint touch caused Puck to smile, and Kurt laughed breathily. Opening his eyes, Puck said, “I have been waiting months to do that.” He slid his hands away from Kurt’s face. For just a moment he let his fingers linger at the base of Kurt’s skull before pulling away.
Kurt’s eyes pointedly flickered down to Puck’s lips as he pulled his own hand away. “Well….” Puck watched hungrily as he rubbed his lips together. And Puck imagined it was because Kurt was trying to remember the feel of the kiss. “I didn’t tell you before, but I think you could use some practice.” Puck’s mouth fell open in shock, and Kurt chuckled mischievously. “And it’s lucky for you that my evenings are free for tutoring.” The offer came out sounding matter-of-fact, but Puck knew that that wasn’t the case at all. He could see the truth of what Kurt was saying in his sparkling eyes.
“Ok, then….” Puck pretended to consider the offer, and Kurt arched one eyebrow. “We better get to work on that as soon as possible. How about Friday night?” He tried to bite back the smile as if the thought of being tutored was terrible. He, however, had never been that successful at hiding his feelings.
Without responding, Kurt slid off the bench and picked up his school bag. Before walking out of the choir room, he looked down at Puck and said, “Let me check my calendar. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
As he disappeared from the room, Puck sat at the piano feeling positive that his life would never be the same again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
In which morning has broken…
Before Puck even opened his eyes the next morning, he felt a searing pain shoot through his gut.
Last night had been… amazing.
Absolutely perfect.
And despite all of the time that had passed, being with Kurt again… it had felt like they’d never been apart. Not even for a day.
Their bodies had still fit together perfectly, each a compliment to the other. It was almost like two halves of a whole that had finally been put back together again. Each and every line and curve and jagged edge they possessed had fit together perfectly.
For a time, they were one, not a single space between them. For hours, fingers had retraced old paths and gentle kisses had brought back old memories…
Memories of movie dates and senseless fights, hiding from the glee club and talking late into the night.
Puck had been reminded of what they’d been while being shown what they could be now.
And he’d wanted it all.
As they lay together afterward, curled tightly against one another, Puck had felt content and fulfilled. He’d pulled Kurt even closer and pressed his lips against Kurt’s hair and thought to himself, “This is it. This is what it means to be happy. Great job, a dog, and Kurt. That’s all I need in life.” At that moment, everything had seemed so simple. He’d drifted off to sleep thinking about the future. He’d wondered if Kurt would move to California or if he could find a cheap apartment in New York that allowed pets.
A couple of hours later, Puck had woken up to find Kurt disentangling himself from his arms. At first, Puck had thought that Kurt was just trying to get more comfortable. But when he’d opened his eyes to find Kurt slipping his jeans back on, his eyes had snapped open. “What’s going on?” Even though he’d been fast asleep, Puck had found that he was completely awake and alert.
Kurt had zipped up his pants before looking over at him. “I have to go.” Puck had watched as he’d bent over and picked up his shirt. Puck had felt confused but also slightly sick by what he was seeing.
“What?” He’d sat up and flicked on the bedside table, hoping that that would make things clearer. It had been a ridiculous thought, but at the moment, he’d been desperate.
“I need to get back to the hotel before Biff.” Kurt had thrown on his shirt and started rooting around for his shoes. And for some reason, Puck had been shocked that Kurt didn’t stop to do up the buttons. Kurt had always been a stickler for making sure that buttons, laces, ties, whatever he was wearing, was done up properly.
For the third time, Puck had said, “What?” He’d rolled over to the side of the bed, trying to figure out what was going on. “But… I thought that we….” Despite what had happened the night before though, he’d suddenly felt self-conscious about being naked. He’d pulled the white sheet around his waist, trying to hide the fact that he was bare.
“That we what?” Kurt had finally stopped searching for his clothes and turned to him. “That we were back together?” He’d stared at Puck, his face twisted in shock and confusion. Puck couldn’t help but notice that Kurt’s eyes flickered from sheet he’d pulled around himself like a shroud.
Puck hadn’t been able to respond.
“Noah….” Kurt had stepped towards Puck, reaching out like he wanted to touch him. But at the last second, he’d pulled his hand back. “I have my business in New York.” He’d closed his eyes tightly before looking at Puck again. “And a boyfriend that I’ve been with for two years. I’m sorry, but I can’t….”
“You can’t?” The words had come out sounding dazed.
“No, I can’t.” Kurt’s face had fallen like he felt sorry or upset or… something. “Noah, I have a life.” He’d stared at Puck, and Puck had been able to tell that Kurt had wanted to say more.
However, Puck had gotten up and walked into the bathroom before he could, making sure that the sheet went with him. And even as he’d disappeared into the small room, he’d felt like a coward for running away. But seeing Kurt searching for his clothes like the night they’d shared at had been a dirty one night stand…
He hadn’t been able to stand it.
And anything, even hiding, had seemed better than staying in the bedroom while Kurt gathered his things.
He’d sat in there until he’d heard the apartment door open and close ten minutes later.
Now, he was lying in bed, the sunlight shining in through the window. And even though the light washing over his bare skin was warm, he felt cold, alone.
Worse yet was that not only did he feel alone, he was alone.
A few days ago, being by himself hadn’t bothered him. He’d dated casually, bringing someone home every once in a while. And when he didn’t have someone over for the night, Puck had had Max and Meena to keep him company.
But now that Kurt had been there, in his bed….
It was painfully obvious just how lonely he really was.
Even without opening his eyes, Puck could still feel Kurt’s presence in his apartment. His scent was all over the sheets and pillows. And Puck knew that if he was to walk into the living room, the end table they’d knocked over would still be lying on its side. Those little things made Puck feel like…
In just a few hours, Kurt had managed to seep back into his life, filling up all of the cracks he hadn’t even known were there.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Puck sat at the kitchen counter, pressing his cellphone to his ear. “Come on….” He tapped his foot on the floor in irritation. “Pick up. Pick up. Pi- Abs! Hey.” Puck’s foot suddenly stopped. “Is mom there?”
After crawling out of bed, Puck had taken a long hot shower. But the longer he’d stayed in and the cleaner he became, the dirtier Puck had felt.
He’d been down this road years ago, and he had a ten year old daughter out there somewhere because of it. And after the whole Finn/Quinn/Baby disaster, he’d sworn he would never cheat on or with someone again. He’d even told Rachel that when she’d tried to use him to get back at Finn.
He’d lost his best friend and gotten Quinn pregnant because of his hormones, and it hadn’t been worth it.
Now here he was…
Feeling sick and ashamed because he’d unwittingly cheated with Kurt.
But he’d thought, really thought that Kurt had come back to him. And that even though he’d talked so much about Biff, Kurt had changed his mind about being with him.
In retrospect, it seemed so naïve, but Puck had honestly believed they were a couple again the second Kurt had kissed him.
And as he’d showered, Puck couldn’t help but think about how stupid he’d been.
Now, a few hours later, he was on the phone, wishing his mom was home. He tried to make a point of calling her once a week, but this wasn’t his weekly call to ask how she was. No, this time Puck was calling, because he needed his mom. It had been years since he’d really needed her for anything, but now he did.
Clutching the cell to his ear, he waited for his sister to respond. Normally, he didn’t mind chatting with her a little, but he wasn’t in the mood right now. “Abby?”
“Yeah, yeah. Hold on. I’m getting her.” Abby sounded distracted, but Puck could hear her walking through the house. Next thing he knew, she was mumbling something Puck couldn’t make out and then the phone was being handed over.
“Noah, baby, what’s wrong?” Through the earpiece, Puck’s mom’s voice sounded worried. Abby had obviously realized that something wasn’t right.
“Hey, Ma.” Puck swallowed deeply. Now that she was on the phone, he didn’t know what to say. “I, uh….”
“Yes?” The word came out gently, but he knew she was trying to move him along.
“I….” Putting his forehead in his hand, Puck sighed heavily. “I totally screwed up.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
“Door’s open!” Puck came out of the bathroom just as Meena walked in, Max following on his leash. Puck set down the box he was holding and placed his hands on his hips.
“So what’s so important that you….” Meena stopped in the middle of the room, her eyes taking in the boxes Puck had left on the floor. “Noah! What’s going on?”
Puck had known she’d be upset, and he’d planned out a speech for her and everything. But when he saw her stricken face, it all went out the window. All he could say was, “I’m moving, Meena.”
“But…. What….” As he watched her, Puck felt like he could practically see her mind racing. “Why…. I thought….”
“I just,” Puck’s voice trailed off, and he dropped his hands. “I need to get out of here.”
“I don’t understand.” Max was straining against his leash in an effort to get to Puck. When it finally slipped from her grip, Puck called the dog over.
“I really….” He gave Max’s head a scratch, and he struggled to find the right thing to say. “I need to go.” He knew he was repeating himself, but there was nothing else to say. He couldn’t tell her that now Kurt had been in his apartment that it was like his ghost was lingering there now. Or how, every time he turned around, he felt Kurt’s presence or smelled his scent. And he certainly couldn’t tell her that those things were eating him alive.
“Noah….” A tear began to slide down Meena’s cheek, and Puck felt himself cringe. He’d never been good in the face of tears. “Did I do something?”
Unhooking the leash from Max’s collar, Puck scratched him once more before straightening up. The dog appeased, Puck tossed the leash on the couch. “Come ‘ere.” He reached out his arms and pulled his friend close. She didn’t resist, instead, wrapping her arms around his stomach and crying into his chest. “I just need to go, Meen.”
Meena snuffled and wiped her nose on Puck’s shirt before looking up at him. “If….” Her chest heaved a tiny sob. “If I tell you my story will you stay? You won’t even have to give me a tattoo.” Her eyes were pleading, but he couldn’t let that get to him.
Squeezing her more tightly, Puck shook his head. “No.” Once again, her chest heaved against his. “But I need your help, ok?” Before she responded, he knew what she’d say. Meena had always helped him out, never asking for anything in return. So he felt terrible about asking for such a huge favor from her.
“Yeah, of course.” She snuffled her nose as she pulled away. “What do you need?” Meena managed a watery smile.
“Well, I’m leaving tomorrow. I talked to Sully, and he understands. I’m gonna have to pay on my lease but whatever.” Puck shrugged. “So I’m only packing up essentials right now. Whatever I can fit in the trunk and the backseat of my car.”
“But what about the rest of your stuff?” Meena wiped at her eyes as she looked around the apartment.
“Well….” Puck slid his hands into his back pockets and dipped his head sheepishly. “Like I said, I’m only taking the important stuff right now.” He dropped his head a little more. “So I was wondering if you could help me pack everything. And then… ship the rest of the stuff to me… when I get there….” He felt awful asking, but it was the only way he could be out by tomorrow.
Meena stared at him, her face strangely blank. And Puck wondered if maybe he’d finally asked too much of her. When she parted her purple lips to speak, Puck held his breath. “Why are you running away? Is it because of Kurt?”
Her question sunk into his bones.
When he’d been on the phone with his mom earlier, he’d told her everything that had happened since Kurt had stood him up in Lima. Granted, he’d skipped over some of the gorier details, but she’d gotten the gist of it. And while she’d listened, she’d sat quietly, not interrupting once. But when he’d finished the story, she’d asked him, “Have you been living for this reunion for the past seven years?”
The question had hit him squarely in the gut and taken his breath away. It had taken a few moments before he’d been able to mutter, “Yeah.”
Looking at Meena, Puck smiled sadly. “I’m not running from Kurt. I’m running toward myself.”
Chapter 10: Fireworks/Decision
Squeeka Cuomo’s Notes
- The song lyrics are from the beautiful Weezer song Always.
- Thank you all for being so very patient and for sticking with this story. I’m so thankful for the support.
- Quack: Thank you for your continued support.
- Reviews are love.
Skin Deep
Chapter 1: Promises/Seven Years
Chapter 2: Acceptance/Inked
Chapter 3: Out/Initials
Chapter 4: Decisions/Infected
Chapter 5: Doo Wop/Muffins
Chapter 6: Sweaters/Scared
Chapter 7: Marked/Joe’s Place
Chapter 8: Private/Pumpkin