No Other One, Chapter 67
Title: No Other One, Chapter 67
Author: Duckie Nicks
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Yelina Salas, Horatio Caine, the whole Caine family
Author's Note: WARNING: SPOILER FOR SEASON 6.
Summary: Almost two decades ago, Horatio made a decision that would change his family forever. Will they ever forgive him? Will he ever tell Yelina how he feels? This is an alternative to the beginning of season 6. A Horatio and Kyle story; H/Y romance in the future.
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51, Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57, Chapter 58, Chapter 59, Chapter 60, Chapter 61, Chapter 62, Chapter 63, Chapter 64, Chapter 65, and Chapter 66
Disclaimer: I don't own the show.
"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It's that they can't see the problem." - G.K. Chesterton
When he opened the door, he smirked. "I thought you said you weren't the kind of doctor who made house calls."
"Honey, I've been up to my ears in dead bodies today, and I could use a little bit of a break before I go home to my kids."
Looking at her, Horatio could tell Alexx was absolutely exhausted. The lines around her eyes seemed more pronounced than they usually were, and though she was clearly joking, there was something about the way she spoke that had her words falling short of their meaning.
"Well… you didn't have to drive all the way out here," he told her softly. "But I can't say that I'm not happy to see you…. Would you like to come in?"
She nodded her head, and he moved out of the doorway to allow her to come in. "I got your call," Alexx informed him dutifully as she crossed the threshold. "I assume this has nothing to do with the case."
"Would you like… some tea? Coffee?" To be honest, Horatio hardly felt like being hospitable after the day he'd had. But it was the polite thing to do; he knew that much, and he also understood that, if he wanted her help in this matter, it couldn't hurt to be kind about it.
"I'd love to, but if I have any caffeine now, I'll be up all night with the cat. So I'm going to have to pass," she told him.
He nodded his head once in understanding but said nothing. It was easier to guide her into his study than to continue with the small talk they both seemed to have no interest in participating in. Maybe another time and place, sure, but Alexx was tired, and Horatio was frustrated, and all they both seemed to want at this point was to discuss what he'd called her over for and be done with it. So it came as no surprise that he'd barely shut the door before she prompted, "You had an idea you wanted to run by me."
"I did." He gestured for her to take a seat, but she shook her head, and he knew that he needed to get to the point quickly. "I don't know if… you're aware of this, but part of Kyle's release is… performing community service."
She shook her head again. "I work with the dead. I don't generally know what's going on with the live ones."
"Rebecca Nevins requires a thousand hours to be finished before he's paid his debt to society," Horatio explained in a slow, measured voice.
Alexx narrowed her gaze on him. "And this involves me somehow," she deduced, apparently able to connect the dots in her mind.
Horatio swallowed hard and said slowly, "You… have a program. There are… programs."
"Yes, there are," she admitted hesitantly. "But he's a child, and he's never been convicted of a felony or a D.U.I, and you know that's who those programs are geared toward."
There was no point in fighting on that issue, Horatio knew. At least at face value, Alexx was right; those programs were not for teenagers like Kyle. The individuals the county hired to work in the lab were those who had been convicted of non-violent crimes. Kyle had kidnapped someone, so he wasn't exactly an appropriate candidate on that end. Even though the victim was okay, Horatio knew that that didn't matter. Kidnapping another human being was bad - evil - even if things turned out all right in the end.
And the fact that Kyle was a juvenile made it impossible to hire him anyway, Horatio added mentally, as the lab had a habit of only hiring adults.
Alexx's program to deter drinking and driving wasn't any more appropriate. The coroner's office allowed for offenders who had driven while intoxicated - which Kyle hadn't done - to observe autopsies where the deaths were usually thought to be related to drugs. But that obviously wasn't going to work in this situation, and frankly, the more Horatio thought about it, the more idiotic this whole idea sounded.
Sighing in defeat, he started to apologize. "You're right. You are… right." He couldn't help but repeat the words, the meaning behind what he was saying sinking in the more he said it. "I…"
He didn't know what to say then. Horatio liked to pride himself on being able to lead a conversation (or at least interrogations), but he'd dragged Alexx out to his house for nothing. And now it seemed like there was nothing he could say to undo his gaffe.
So it was perhaps lucky for him that she was the one to speak up. "Why don't you have him volunteer with the Red Cross? Or he could work at the Humane Society? I've been taking Bryan down there every weekend for years, so he can walk some of the animals. He loves it."
Horatio nodded his head once to show that he understood what she was saying. But he had no intention of taking her advice… unless he had to. Because getting the community service completed was only part of the reason he wanted Kyle to work at the lab.
And quite frankly, it was the least important motivating factor for Horatio.
Oh, satisfying the requirements of Rebecca's plea bargain was important. But it couldn't compete with the other benefits of having Kyle work in the lab, which were, in Horatio's mind, being able to spend time with his son and show his son what he did every day of his life.
That was what he'd hoped to gain from this experience: an opening, a… something to share with Kyle, he thought to himself in exasperation.
Yet here Alexx was, only offering him solutions that were less than ideal, and… it just seemed like more of the same. It just seemed like, no matter how hard Horatio tried, the universe kept throwing him curveballs and lemons and the like.
It just seemed like winning this - however one could possibly win suddenly having a teenaged child - was an impossible feat. And if that were the case, he had to wonder:
What was the point?
He didn't get a chance to answer his own question (and he thought this was a good thing) before Alexx interrupted his train of thought. "But I assume there's something else going on or you would have thought of that yourself."
Again he nodded his head. "I had considered those programs. Yes."
"But…" She looked at him carefully as though willing for her prompting to work.
"Well, I guess… I was hoping to… use Kyle's community service requirement to… show him what it is that we do."
Horatio was being intentionally vague, figuring that the less he said, the better. Certainly it had to be better than admitting to Alexx - or to anyone for that matter - that he needed help relating to Kyle. Because that was the kind of thing that was supposed to come naturally; parenthood was supposed to come naturally, he knew. And even though there were so many fathers out there who were willing time and time again to prove otherwise, Horatio also knew that he had never set himself up to be one of those men.
He had always prided himself on being a family man, on being someone who could, would, and did protect children. He'd created that image for himself and had worked every day of his life to maintain it, and though it seemed inevitable, he didn't want anyone to see the cracks in that façade.
Of course, that made it sound like everything he'd done for his family the last decade or two had been done under false pretenses. And the last thing he wanted was to sound as though he didn't truly love his family, because he did; he just simply worked as hard as he could to show that to them and everyone else.
But all of that effort, he knew, would be for nothing if he had to say that he needed help with Kyle.
Doing that would change everything.
So Horatio understood that he couldn't say anything.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) for him, Alexx was able to read between the lines. One of her eyebrows arched, she said incredulously, "You want to show him what we do."
"Correct." But that didn't sound even remotely convincing, he knew.
"Well, Horatio," she told him with a shrug. "From what I understand, Kyle has had plenty of experience inside the police department." He opened his mouth to speak, but she was quick to continue. "You want to tell me what this is really about, or should I just guess?"
He cocked his head to the side as though he had no idea what she was talking about; in his mind, Horatio thought that denial was better than confiding in his colleague. "'What this is really about'? I don't… I don't understand."
At this, Alexx's raised eyebrow nearly disappeared into her hairline; clearly she didn't believe what he was saying. "I think you do," she said doubtfully. "But if you want to pretend that nothing else is going on, that's your business. Just try not to involve me next time."
He could tell rationally that there was no judgment in her voice. She could have absolutely sounded mean, but it was audible that her intentions weren't to be cruel. At most she was simply stating something that he probably should have considered more before calling her. And he couldn't resent her for that, even though part of him felt the need to.
But whether or not that understanding was infused with his tones when he spoke next, he wasn't exactly sure. "You're right. I will… leave you out of it."
Alexx rolled her eyes. "It's too late now," she replied dismissively. "I'm already involved. Best thing we can do now is try to find a way to get Kyle in the building if that's what you want."
To be perfectly frank, it was the last thing Horatio expected her to say. After hearing her shoot down his earlier ideas, he'd just assumed that there was no chance of getting Kyle to work in the lab. But the way she was talking now, Horatio couldn't help but think that maybe - just maybe - she had her own ideas in mind.
However, before he could even speak, she elaborated. "I was - to be completely honest - a little happy when you called me this afternoon. While you were making sure your son is okay -"
"I apologize for that," he interrupted in slow tones for reasons he didn't entirely understand. It just felt like an apology was necessary in this situation.
Alexx didn't agree though.
Her eyes narrowed on him as though she could barely believe the stupidity coming out of his mouth. "You don't have to apologize, Horatio," she told him in a stern voice. "You were doing what a father should do in these circumstances."
He bowed his head, her words meaning more to him than he thought possible. Maybe it shouldn't have been so surprising, the well of emotion within him being forced to the surface by her words; after all, it had been implied so many times before now that he was a bad father.
Yelina had basically said as much.
And who could deny that hearing someone say otherwise was nice?
Horatio certainly couldn't.
"I appreciate that," he told her earnestly, stressing each syllable to demonstrate the truthfulness of his words.
"So like I was saying," Alexx continued with mild annoyance. "While you were taking care of your personal problems, I had an issue of my own: my assistant quit."
Not really understanding her point, he nodded his head. "Okay."
"I don't one hundred percent know why. All I've heard so far is that Tony's wife wants to move back to Kentucky."
"Right."
"I know you were looking at our volunteer programs for Kyle, but as I'm fixin' to hire someone anyway, I suppose I could give the job to him."
It was a generous offer.
God, it was the kind of thing that slapped you in the face with its kindness.
But Horatio knew it was also something that was out of the question.
"Alexx, as… kind as that is, being an M.E.'s assistant is… a paid job."
She shrugged. "There are ways around that."
"And he's not of age. The job requires -"
"There are ways around that too," she reassured. "You know as well as I do that employment is up to the discretion of the employer. Unlike our volunteer programs, we have a lot more control over this. This isn't up to a judge," she reminded him. "This is up to the lieutenant - you - and the medical examiner - me." She gestured between the both of them to prove her point. "If you want this, we make it happen."
Though there was nothing criminal about what they were doing, Horatio couldn't help but feel as though he were committing an act of conspiracy. They were, after all, talking about hiring someone vastly unqualified for a job for personal reasons.
But then again, being Alexx's assistant was hardly performing brain surgery, Horatio told himself. What Kyle didn't know he would quickly pick up, as everyone who had worked for Alexx did in their own fashion. He might not have been knowledgeable about procedure, but he would learn. Horatio was sure of that much.
Of course, he was equally sure that there were a few of their colleagues - namely Stetler - who would be less than thrilled with this turn of events. Again, it would be mainly Stetler who had the issue, but Horatio knew that there would probably be a couple of others who wouldn't like this act of nepotism.
And Horatio knew that he should ask himself if keeping Kyle in his presence constantly was worth the respect of the other C.S.I.s.
But Horatio did not ask himself that question.
He didn't need to.
He already knew the answer.
"Lets do it."
****************************
The plan was sprung on him without much fanfare at breakfast. Kyle was neck deep in a bowl of oatmeal that tasted like paste when Horatio chose to make his announcement (Kyle could tell that this was an announcement and not something that happened off the cuff by the stiffness in Horatio's voice). "I've arranged for you… to do your community service hours at… the lab."
The words washing over Kyle as warmly as the cool oatmeal was, he glanced down at his spoon to avoid eye contact with the man who was his father.
Truth be told, Kyle had no idea how he was supposed to respond.
No, that wasn't right, he immediately corrected. He knew exactly how he was supposed to respond.
He was supposed to be grateful.
He was supposed to say something like "Gee, thanks, Dad" and act all happy at the idea of working side by side with his father.
But that wasn't at all what Kyle felt, and no matter how much the situation called for it, he just couldn't find it within himself to be enthusiastic.
How the hell was he supposed to be happy about something that could only end in disaster?
How could he be happy when he saw inevitable failure and the person in charge did not? And what the fuck did that say about Horatio when he thought this was the best idea ever?
Kyle didn't want to know the answers to those questions. Somehow it just seemed easier to suspect the problems with all of this than to confirm it.
But that didn't mean he didn't want Horatio to start seeing the impending issues in all of this.
Looking up once more, Kyle trained his gaze on the man before him. "You want me to volunteer at the police department."
"At the lab," Horatio corrected. "At the coroner's office to be specific."
Well, wasn't that just great.
Most people would have thought it was fucking morbid to have a kid working in a morgue. Most people would have thought that it was even more wrong to have a kid, who had lost his mom, working in a morgue.
Christ, most people would have had the decency to deny Kyle that experience - no matter how necessary those community service hours were.
But Horatio was not one of those people.
No, he was the one jackass who would think this was a good idea.
Perhaps sensing his unease, Horatio spoke up then. "I know that… we haven't always gotten along."
Kyle wanted to respond with a classy "no shit" but didn't think that that would be a very good idea. It certainly wouldn't be the kind of response that would make Horatio explain what was going on; Kyle knew that much. So he simply stayed silent and waited to see what Horatio was going to say.
"But I… I really think that we… can get benefit from… spending some extra time together," Horatio said vaguely in a plodding voice. "Things have been… tense between us, and…" He swallowed hard before finishing the thought. "And I believe that working together could… help us."
Every word was uttered as though Horatio himself didn't know for sure whether or not it was a convincing argument. And Kyle could only give him some credit for that; he would have really been worried if Horatio thought that that made perfect sense.
Because the fact of the matter was that working together as a way to bond did not make sense.
Spending nearly every waking moment together wasn't going to breed friendship as much as it would foster resentment. Kyle didn't really know for sure that that was what happened when you were with someone for an extended period of time; God only knew when anyone had taken an interest in him like this last. But if television and watching other couples had taught him anything, it was that people needed space.
And when it came to Horatio, the only thing Kyle wanted right now was space.
At least, he wanted space from Horatio the cop.
He wanted distance from the person who had arrested him, from the person who had looked at him as though he were nothing more than a vile criminal. He didn't want to know Horatio at all, but Kyle also knew that, if he had to deal with Horatio, it would be better for both of them to interact with one another in ways that had nothing to do with the law.
But looking at Horatio now, Kyle could see that that wasn't what his father wanted.
Horatio was content to be the cop. If anything he was comforted by that. And as much as Kyle wanted to hate him for that, he couldn't.
He simply knew all too well that you had to clutch hold of the things that made you happy. In this world where people wanted you to suffer, you had to defend what made you feel good.
And Kyle didn't know if it was because of that or some other reason that made him do it, but at that moment, he couldn't help but open his mouth and say, "Okay. I'll do it."
Continue to the next chapter
Author: Duckie Nicks
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Yelina Salas, Horatio Caine, the whole Caine family
Author's Note: WARNING: SPOILER FOR SEASON 6.
Summary: Almost two decades ago, Horatio made a decision that would change his family forever. Will they ever forgive him? Will he ever tell Yelina how he feels? This is an alternative to the beginning of season 6. A Horatio and Kyle story; H/Y romance in the future.
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51, Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57, Chapter 58, Chapter 59, Chapter 60, Chapter 61, Chapter 62, Chapter 63, Chapter 64, Chapter 65, and Chapter 66
Disclaimer: I don't own the show.
"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It's that they can't see the problem." - G.K. Chesterton
When he opened the door, he smirked. "I thought you said you weren't the kind of doctor who made house calls."
"Honey, I've been up to my ears in dead bodies today, and I could use a little bit of a break before I go home to my kids."
Looking at her, Horatio could tell Alexx was absolutely exhausted. The lines around her eyes seemed more pronounced than they usually were, and though she was clearly joking, there was something about the way she spoke that had her words falling short of their meaning.
"Well… you didn't have to drive all the way out here," he told her softly. "But I can't say that I'm not happy to see you…. Would you like to come in?"
She nodded her head, and he moved out of the doorway to allow her to come in. "I got your call," Alexx informed him dutifully as she crossed the threshold. "I assume this has nothing to do with the case."
"Would you like… some tea? Coffee?" To be honest, Horatio hardly felt like being hospitable after the day he'd had. But it was the polite thing to do; he knew that much, and he also understood that, if he wanted her help in this matter, it couldn't hurt to be kind about it.
"I'd love to, but if I have any caffeine now, I'll be up all night with the cat. So I'm going to have to pass," she told him.
He nodded his head once in understanding but said nothing. It was easier to guide her into his study than to continue with the small talk they both seemed to have no interest in participating in. Maybe another time and place, sure, but Alexx was tired, and Horatio was frustrated, and all they both seemed to want at this point was to discuss what he'd called her over for and be done with it. So it came as no surprise that he'd barely shut the door before she prompted, "You had an idea you wanted to run by me."
"I did." He gestured for her to take a seat, but she shook her head, and he knew that he needed to get to the point quickly. "I don't know if… you're aware of this, but part of Kyle's release is… performing community service."
She shook her head again. "I work with the dead. I don't generally know what's going on with the live ones."
"Rebecca Nevins requires a thousand hours to be finished before he's paid his debt to society," Horatio explained in a slow, measured voice.
Alexx narrowed her gaze on him. "And this involves me somehow," she deduced, apparently able to connect the dots in her mind.
Horatio swallowed hard and said slowly, "You… have a program. There are… programs."
"Yes, there are," she admitted hesitantly. "But he's a child, and he's never been convicted of a felony or a D.U.I, and you know that's who those programs are geared toward."
There was no point in fighting on that issue, Horatio knew. At least at face value, Alexx was right; those programs were not for teenagers like Kyle. The individuals the county hired to work in the lab were those who had been convicted of non-violent crimes. Kyle had kidnapped someone, so he wasn't exactly an appropriate candidate on that end. Even though the victim was okay, Horatio knew that that didn't matter. Kidnapping another human being was bad - evil - even if things turned out all right in the end.
And the fact that Kyle was a juvenile made it impossible to hire him anyway, Horatio added mentally, as the lab had a habit of only hiring adults.
Alexx's program to deter drinking and driving wasn't any more appropriate. The coroner's office allowed for offenders who had driven while intoxicated - which Kyle hadn't done - to observe autopsies where the deaths were usually thought to be related to drugs. But that obviously wasn't going to work in this situation, and frankly, the more Horatio thought about it, the more idiotic this whole idea sounded.
Sighing in defeat, he started to apologize. "You're right. You are… right." He couldn't help but repeat the words, the meaning behind what he was saying sinking in the more he said it. "I…"
He didn't know what to say then. Horatio liked to pride himself on being able to lead a conversation (or at least interrogations), but he'd dragged Alexx out to his house for nothing. And now it seemed like there was nothing he could say to undo his gaffe.
So it was perhaps lucky for him that she was the one to speak up. "Why don't you have him volunteer with the Red Cross? Or he could work at the Humane Society? I've been taking Bryan down there every weekend for years, so he can walk some of the animals. He loves it."
Horatio nodded his head once to show that he understood what she was saying. But he had no intention of taking her advice… unless he had to. Because getting the community service completed was only part of the reason he wanted Kyle to work at the lab.
And quite frankly, it was the least important motivating factor for Horatio.
Oh, satisfying the requirements of Rebecca's plea bargain was important. But it couldn't compete with the other benefits of having Kyle work in the lab, which were, in Horatio's mind, being able to spend time with his son and show his son what he did every day of his life.
That was what he'd hoped to gain from this experience: an opening, a… something to share with Kyle, he thought to himself in exasperation.
Yet here Alexx was, only offering him solutions that were less than ideal, and… it just seemed like more of the same. It just seemed like, no matter how hard Horatio tried, the universe kept throwing him curveballs and lemons and the like.
It just seemed like winning this - however one could possibly win suddenly having a teenaged child - was an impossible feat. And if that were the case, he had to wonder:
What was the point?
He didn't get a chance to answer his own question (and he thought this was a good thing) before Alexx interrupted his train of thought. "But I assume there's something else going on or you would have thought of that yourself."
Again he nodded his head. "I had considered those programs. Yes."
"But…" She looked at him carefully as though willing for her prompting to work.
"Well, I guess… I was hoping to… use Kyle's community service requirement to… show him what it is that we do."
Horatio was being intentionally vague, figuring that the less he said, the better. Certainly it had to be better than admitting to Alexx - or to anyone for that matter - that he needed help relating to Kyle. Because that was the kind of thing that was supposed to come naturally; parenthood was supposed to come naturally, he knew. And even though there were so many fathers out there who were willing time and time again to prove otherwise, Horatio also knew that he had never set himself up to be one of those men.
He had always prided himself on being a family man, on being someone who could, would, and did protect children. He'd created that image for himself and had worked every day of his life to maintain it, and though it seemed inevitable, he didn't want anyone to see the cracks in that façade.
Of course, that made it sound like everything he'd done for his family the last decade or two had been done under false pretenses. And the last thing he wanted was to sound as though he didn't truly love his family, because he did; he just simply worked as hard as he could to show that to them and everyone else.
But all of that effort, he knew, would be for nothing if he had to say that he needed help with Kyle.
Doing that would change everything.
So Horatio understood that he couldn't say anything.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) for him, Alexx was able to read between the lines. One of her eyebrows arched, she said incredulously, "You want to show him what we do."
"Correct." But that didn't sound even remotely convincing, he knew.
"Well, Horatio," she told him with a shrug. "From what I understand, Kyle has had plenty of experience inside the police department." He opened his mouth to speak, but she was quick to continue. "You want to tell me what this is really about, or should I just guess?"
He cocked his head to the side as though he had no idea what she was talking about; in his mind, Horatio thought that denial was better than confiding in his colleague. "'What this is really about'? I don't… I don't understand."
At this, Alexx's raised eyebrow nearly disappeared into her hairline; clearly she didn't believe what he was saying. "I think you do," she said doubtfully. "But if you want to pretend that nothing else is going on, that's your business. Just try not to involve me next time."
He could tell rationally that there was no judgment in her voice. She could have absolutely sounded mean, but it was audible that her intentions weren't to be cruel. At most she was simply stating something that he probably should have considered more before calling her. And he couldn't resent her for that, even though part of him felt the need to.
But whether or not that understanding was infused with his tones when he spoke next, he wasn't exactly sure. "You're right. I will… leave you out of it."
Alexx rolled her eyes. "It's too late now," she replied dismissively. "I'm already involved. Best thing we can do now is try to find a way to get Kyle in the building if that's what you want."
To be perfectly frank, it was the last thing Horatio expected her to say. After hearing her shoot down his earlier ideas, he'd just assumed that there was no chance of getting Kyle to work in the lab. But the way she was talking now, Horatio couldn't help but think that maybe - just maybe - she had her own ideas in mind.
However, before he could even speak, she elaborated. "I was - to be completely honest - a little happy when you called me this afternoon. While you were making sure your son is okay -"
"I apologize for that," he interrupted in slow tones for reasons he didn't entirely understand. It just felt like an apology was necessary in this situation.
Alexx didn't agree though.
Her eyes narrowed on him as though she could barely believe the stupidity coming out of his mouth. "You don't have to apologize, Horatio," she told him in a stern voice. "You were doing what a father should do in these circumstances."
He bowed his head, her words meaning more to him than he thought possible. Maybe it shouldn't have been so surprising, the well of emotion within him being forced to the surface by her words; after all, it had been implied so many times before now that he was a bad father.
Yelina had basically said as much.
And who could deny that hearing someone say otherwise was nice?
Horatio certainly couldn't.
"I appreciate that," he told her earnestly, stressing each syllable to demonstrate the truthfulness of his words.
"So like I was saying," Alexx continued with mild annoyance. "While you were taking care of your personal problems, I had an issue of my own: my assistant quit."
Not really understanding her point, he nodded his head. "Okay."
"I don't one hundred percent know why. All I've heard so far is that Tony's wife wants to move back to Kentucky."
"Right."
"I know you were looking at our volunteer programs for Kyle, but as I'm fixin' to hire someone anyway, I suppose I could give the job to him."
It was a generous offer.
God, it was the kind of thing that slapped you in the face with its kindness.
But Horatio knew it was also something that was out of the question.
"Alexx, as… kind as that is, being an M.E.'s assistant is… a paid job."
She shrugged. "There are ways around that."
"And he's not of age. The job requires -"
"There are ways around that too," she reassured. "You know as well as I do that employment is up to the discretion of the employer. Unlike our volunteer programs, we have a lot more control over this. This isn't up to a judge," she reminded him. "This is up to the lieutenant - you - and the medical examiner - me." She gestured between the both of them to prove her point. "If you want this, we make it happen."
Though there was nothing criminal about what they were doing, Horatio couldn't help but feel as though he were committing an act of conspiracy. They were, after all, talking about hiring someone vastly unqualified for a job for personal reasons.
But then again, being Alexx's assistant was hardly performing brain surgery, Horatio told himself. What Kyle didn't know he would quickly pick up, as everyone who had worked for Alexx did in their own fashion. He might not have been knowledgeable about procedure, but he would learn. Horatio was sure of that much.
Of course, he was equally sure that there were a few of their colleagues - namely Stetler - who would be less than thrilled with this turn of events. Again, it would be mainly Stetler who had the issue, but Horatio knew that there would probably be a couple of others who wouldn't like this act of nepotism.
And Horatio knew that he should ask himself if keeping Kyle in his presence constantly was worth the respect of the other C.S.I.s.
But Horatio did not ask himself that question.
He didn't need to.
He already knew the answer.
"Lets do it."
****************************
The plan was sprung on him without much fanfare at breakfast. Kyle was neck deep in a bowl of oatmeal that tasted like paste when Horatio chose to make his announcement (Kyle could tell that this was an announcement and not something that happened off the cuff by the stiffness in Horatio's voice). "I've arranged for you… to do your community service hours at… the lab."
The words washing over Kyle as warmly as the cool oatmeal was, he glanced down at his spoon to avoid eye contact with the man who was his father.
Truth be told, Kyle had no idea how he was supposed to respond.
No, that wasn't right, he immediately corrected. He knew exactly how he was supposed to respond.
He was supposed to be grateful.
He was supposed to say something like "Gee, thanks, Dad" and act all happy at the idea of working side by side with his father.
But that wasn't at all what Kyle felt, and no matter how much the situation called for it, he just couldn't find it within himself to be enthusiastic.
How the hell was he supposed to be happy about something that could only end in disaster?
How could he be happy when he saw inevitable failure and the person in charge did not? And what the fuck did that say about Horatio when he thought this was the best idea ever?
Kyle didn't want to know the answers to those questions. Somehow it just seemed easier to suspect the problems with all of this than to confirm it.
But that didn't mean he didn't want Horatio to start seeing the impending issues in all of this.
Looking up once more, Kyle trained his gaze on the man before him. "You want me to volunteer at the police department."
"At the lab," Horatio corrected. "At the coroner's office to be specific."
Well, wasn't that just great.
Most people would have thought it was fucking morbid to have a kid working in a morgue. Most people would have thought that it was even more wrong to have a kid, who had lost his mom, working in a morgue.
Christ, most people would have had the decency to deny Kyle that experience - no matter how necessary those community service hours were.
But Horatio was not one of those people.
No, he was the one jackass who would think this was a good idea.
Perhaps sensing his unease, Horatio spoke up then. "I know that… we haven't always gotten along."
Kyle wanted to respond with a classy "no shit" but didn't think that that would be a very good idea. It certainly wouldn't be the kind of response that would make Horatio explain what was going on; Kyle knew that much. So he simply stayed silent and waited to see what Horatio was going to say.
"But I… I really think that we… can get benefit from… spending some extra time together," Horatio said vaguely in a plodding voice. "Things have been… tense between us, and…" He swallowed hard before finishing the thought. "And I believe that working together could… help us."
Every word was uttered as though Horatio himself didn't know for sure whether or not it was a convincing argument. And Kyle could only give him some credit for that; he would have really been worried if Horatio thought that that made perfect sense.
Because the fact of the matter was that working together as a way to bond did not make sense.
Spending nearly every waking moment together wasn't going to breed friendship as much as it would foster resentment. Kyle didn't really know for sure that that was what happened when you were with someone for an extended period of time; God only knew when anyone had taken an interest in him like this last. But if television and watching other couples had taught him anything, it was that people needed space.
And when it came to Horatio, the only thing Kyle wanted right now was space.
At least, he wanted space from Horatio the cop.
He wanted distance from the person who had arrested him, from the person who had looked at him as though he were nothing more than a vile criminal. He didn't want to know Horatio at all, but Kyle also knew that, if he had to deal with Horatio, it would be better for both of them to interact with one another in ways that had nothing to do with the law.
But looking at Horatio now, Kyle could see that that wasn't what his father wanted.
Horatio was content to be the cop. If anything he was comforted by that. And as much as Kyle wanted to hate him for that, he couldn't.
He simply knew all too well that you had to clutch hold of the things that made you happy. In this world where people wanted you to suffer, you had to defend what made you feel good.
And Kyle didn't know if it was because of that or some other reason that made him do it, but at that moment, he couldn't help but open his mouth and say, "Okay. I'll do it."
Continue to the next chapter