(no subject)
We Finally got the cross made to put up at Cherokee Sinks. "In Loving Memory Of Savanna Smith, Swim with Caution" is etched into it. I painted it pink and white. The Forestry people say that we can't put it up, because its a public park or some such bullshit. I say fuck that. Steven, Jesse, Billy, Labiba, Lacey and I are going there the weekend before Savanna's Birthday and nailing it to the tree where we had our picnic that day. Keith told us if they take it down he'll make us more. I still can't believe all of it. Every memory of the beach or the woods I see her face. Steven is still very much upset and feels total responsibility and guilt. So do I so does Lacey so does Billy. All the what ifs in the world run through my head. It was my idea to go swimming, since I didn't have to work and they were leaving that night. We'd gone shopping all morning getting stuff to go swimming. She bought a brand new pink bathing suit and shorts for Steven. Got sandwich meat, snacks and drinks, then she bought us all floats. We all piled into Steven's truck. It had started to sprinkle on the drive there then stopped suddenly, we all know how retarded the weather is here. We got there. Savanna and I being the "women Folk" set up the picnic table and started making sandwiches. She made us all pepperoni and mustard sandwiches, she'd told me while shopping the "I could eat these everyday all day, my favorite." Thinking about it now makes my heartache and throat tight, but smile. After a while of joking around Savanna, steven, billy and lacey went to jump off the high dive, while I cleaned up and changed Aurora into her suit and foogles. Walked down the long deck on the other side and we both got in. They all came bouncing down and jumped in, except lacey because it had started to rain. I was right next to savanna, swimming no more then an arms lenght away from 4 of us. I remember Lacey telling us we were all crazy swimming in the rain, "its only sprinkling" she said smiling at all of us and went under the water like a frog. She swam right pasted me and I snapped her bathing suit bottom while she kicked past. After a few moments, while I was fussing with Aurora trying to keep her in my arms, I realized looking around and not seeing her. I rememeber screaming to billy and steven who were tetter tottering on a floating log "she hasn't come up, she didn't come up" It was rainning harder then ever like the second I said something the sky opened up and began to pour. In the panick I jumped out with Aurora and ran to call 911, it took them almost an hour to get there. Lacey, Steven, and Billy diving over and over. Steven crying and saying to Lacey "You've got to help me find her, Where's my baby." When the cops finally got there it took them 4 hours to get a dive team and another hour to find her and then another hour to pull her out. None of us left even though they tried making us. Steven's family showed up with Lacey's mom and Aslan came to get Aurora. Steven and Savanna were staying at our apartment. We left after they finally had taken her out of the water. I never cried so hard in my life when we got back to the house and there sitting open the bed they'd shared all weekend was her "tackle box" where she kept all her make up and clothes. The three of us huddled together. Its the same everytime now. Savanna was the only person that I'd met that I hit it off with instantly. We always had a good time, fishing, laying on the beach, going to the bar and dancing, riding in the woods. She really was a true "southern bell." Or how she put it "rednick barbie." I've never met a bigger sweetheart. Always smiling and never shy about giving hugs. Big or small no one could help but love her, then again she wouldn't have it any other way. She was a nursing student, a bible school teacher, a bartender, rough and tough, Never afraid to get dirty, and most of all she loved everyone and was loved very much. I think maybe writing about how much we all loved her will make it easier. Another Friend I'll never forget, and I know I'll see again.