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I have been having a hard time getting Samuel's story from him. He has been pinning for his fraternal twin brother Zuriel, and can't really open up to me. He is just hurting so much from the separation, as well as losing use of his leg. I just hope he can work everything that is going on in his head, since it looks like I won't be getting Zuri for awhile yet. ^_^'''
Here is the
Dear Zuriel,
I was given a journal, and told that maybe that having some sort of out lit for my emotion would help lift my mood. I suspect it is because I am having a hard time opening up to my caregiver, who I come to call Sister. I like her a lot, and she does as much as she can for me, but there are just some things that I don't know how to tell her. I find myself aching for you all the time. I wouldn't need to explain my feelings to you, we would just sit together and you would just know, know in a way that has never involved words. I guess that's why I'm dedicating this journal to you, since I am not aloud to contact you. I couldn't even if I wanted to, since Sis and I are both in the dark about your whereabouts.
Arrg, I don't know where to start. My insides are a whirling mess, and I feel empty all the time. We've never been apart for more than a few hours since ever and now it's been nearly three months since I saw you last. Considering the circumstances in which we parted ways, it feels like a lifetime. I want to apologize for calling you an idiot and a coward for not wanting to test your powers. I was just so taken aback by the fact that you were cautious and wary by this new power, while I was all for it. I thought that you would be gung-ho for the chance to wreck a new kind of habit in the orphanage, being as you were constantly dragging me along to collect frogs in the pond to place in Sister Mary Claire's drawers, or getting me to look up in the library how to make our own firecrackers to set off during morning mass.
I see now how your intuition was spot on, unlike my rationalizing, as usual. You were just trying to protect me, like you always have. I didn't listen, and we fought for the first time, EVER. I was so hurt that you wouldn't support me after I've followed you in your harebrained schemes time after time. I ran off, and wound up trying to do a bigger spell than I've ever done before, just to show you how useful it could be. I was trying to make myself turn invisible, but I was loath to admit to myself I only new half of what the runes meant at the time. Despite that fact, I pushed forwards to my limit, using all my power in one unsuccessful burst, leaving me weak and helpless when the beast descended on me. Sis latter told me that it was the fact that I was using high amount's of magic which attracted it to my location, like a shark to blood in the water. I passed out after he crushed my leg, so I didn't see you save me after that, but I was told about how you had felt the same power spike the monster had and came to see what was happening, and burned that monster to a crisp. Still, both of us gave away ourselves that night, and we were separated and put into hiding because of my idiocy.
To think, I was trying to develop my magic to protect you. You are always protecting me, and I always feel so weak next to you. When Jimmy and Rufus decided that I was the perfect punching bag for their sick games, you stood up for me and took the blows. You never let them call me a cry baby and fag with out regretting it latter, but still, there were so many of them and only one of you, and you had to take the Abbess’s punishments on top of everything else. You thought you were saving me the pain of being bruised and scratched and whipped, but I felt every one of them in my heart. It pained me so to see you in pain, and it just made me hate myself for my weakness. Then I discovered that I had the power to stand up for both of us, and I let that power go to my head. I couldn't understand why you wanted me to be weak again. I had even convinced myself that you didn't have any power and that you were jealous of me for my superior strength. I didn't believe you when you told me at the time, but that unrestrained power was making me psychotic. My seal has been reinstated, which is necessary to conceal my position from the Black Force. Sis maybe a strong healer, but she has very little skill in offensive magic.
Gods, I wish you were here. My leg hurts me everyday. Sister is trying her hardest to save my leg, but it looks as if she will have to amputate. It hurts constantly, even through the haze of the painkillers that I have to take every few hours. I have no movement in the knee, and I don't dare move me hip for the pain. I mainly sit and read, and though sometimes Sis takes me out to get some fresh air, I am going insane being bedridden. I know you would find ways to sneak me out, like the time I had the flu and I had to stay in the ward for an extra week to make sure I was no longer contagious. Turns out I was, and I wound up giving it to you, but you insisted that illicit night barreling through the cloisters in a stolen wheelchair was totally worth it, and while I disagreed with you at the time, it was still my favorite prank we ever committed.
I still miss you more than anything, but I do feel a bit better for getting a bit of this off my chest. I hope I can tell you all this in person soon.
Your dear twin,
~Samuel
Wow, and I feel like I'm just scrapping the tip of the iceberg of the angst. Still, I doubt he'll go too emo on me. He hates to wear black.
Here is the
Dear Zuriel,
I was given a journal, and told that maybe that having some sort of out lit for my emotion would help lift my mood. I suspect it is because I am having a hard time opening up to my caregiver, who I come to call Sister. I like her a lot, and she does as much as she can for me, but there are just some things that I don't know how to tell her. I find myself aching for you all the time. I wouldn't need to explain my feelings to you, we would just sit together and you would just know, know in a way that has never involved words. I guess that's why I'm dedicating this journal to you, since I am not aloud to contact you. I couldn't even if I wanted to, since Sis and I are both in the dark about your whereabouts.
Arrg, I don't know where to start. My insides are a whirling mess, and I feel empty all the time. We've never been apart for more than a few hours since ever and now it's been nearly three months since I saw you last. Considering the circumstances in which we parted ways, it feels like a lifetime. I want to apologize for calling you an idiot and a coward for not wanting to test your powers. I was just so taken aback by the fact that you were cautious and wary by this new power, while I was all for it. I thought that you would be gung-ho for the chance to wreck a new kind of habit in the orphanage, being as you were constantly dragging me along to collect frogs in the pond to place in Sister Mary Claire's drawers, or getting me to look up in the library how to make our own firecrackers to set off during morning mass.
I see now how your intuition was spot on, unlike my rationalizing, as usual. You were just trying to protect me, like you always have. I didn't listen, and we fought for the first time, EVER. I was so hurt that you wouldn't support me after I've followed you in your harebrained schemes time after time. I ran off, and wound up trying to do a bigger spell than I've ever done before, just to show you how useful it could be. I was trying to make myself turn invisible, but I was loath to admit to myself I only new half of what the runes meant at the time. Despite that fact, I pushed forwards to my limit, using all my power in one unsuccessful burst, leaving me weak and helpless when the beast descended on me. Sis latter told me that it was the fact that I was using high amount's of magic which attracted it to my location, like a shark to blood in the water. I passed out after he crushed my leg, so I didn't see you save me after that, but I was told about how you had felt the same power spike the monster had and came to see what was happening, and burned that monster to a crisp. Still, both of us gave away ourselves that night, and we were separated and put into hiding because of my idiocy.
To think, I was trying to develop my magic to protect you. You are always protecting me, and I always feel so weak next to you. When Jimmy and Rufus decided that I was the perfect punching bag for their sick games, you stood up for me and took the blows. You never let them call me a cry baby and fag with out regretting it latter, but still, there were so many of them and only one of you, and you had to take the Abbess’s punishments on top of everything else. You thought you were saving me the pain of being bruised and scratched and whipped, but I felt every one of them in my heart. It pained me so to see you in pain, and it just made me hate myself for my weakness. Then I discovered that I had the power to stand up for both of us, and I let that power go to my head. I couldn't understand why you wanted me to be weak again. I had even convinced myself that you didn't have any power and that you were jealous of me for my superior strength. I didn't believe you when you told me at the time, but that unrestrained power was making me psychotic. My seal has been reinstated, which is necessary to conceal my position from the Black Force. Sis maybe a strong healer, but she has very little skill in offensive magic.
Gods, I wish you were here. My leg hurts me everyday. Sister is trying her hardest to save my leg, but it looks as if she will have to amputate. It hurts constantly, even through the haze of the painkillers that I have to take every few hours. I have no movement in the knee, and I don't dare move me hip for the pain. I mainly sit and read, and though sometimes Sis takes me out to get some fresh air, I am going insane being bedridden. I know you would find ways to sneak me out, like the time I had the flu and I had to stay in the ward for an extra week to make sure I was no longer contagious. Turns out I was, and I wound up giving it to you, but you insisted that illicit night barreling through the cloisters in a stolen wheelchair was totally worth it, and while I disagreed with you at the time, it was still my favorite prank we ever committed.
I still miss you more than anything, but I do feel a bit better for getting a bit of this off my chest. I hope I can tell you all this in person soon.
Your dear twin,
~Samuel
Wow, and I feel like I'm just scrapping the tip of the iceberg of the angst. Still, I doubt he'll go too emo on me. He hates to wear black.